Playing Patience

by Tabatha Vargo

  I felt a shiver run through her body and I knew I’d won the opportunity for another kiss. Her skin felt smooth against my lips as I ran them across her cheek to get to her mouth. When I pressed my lips to hers, she leaned into my kiss and exhaled a hard breath through her nose.

  It was small, not much more than us pressing our mouths together, but it was enough. Everything was enough when it came to her. Her hand tightened in the back of my shirt and she wrapped her other arm around me. I pulled away first, not because I wasn’t enjoying it, but because my mind went into sexual overdrive. I didn’t want to get to a point where I pushed her too far.

  I nudged her nose with mine and grinned down at her.

  “I’m pretty sure I’ll never get tired of that,” she murmured.

  “Only pretty sure?” I teased

  “Okay, I’m absolutely positive I’ll never get tired of that.” She smiled.

  “That’s more like it.” I gave her another quick peck. “But now, I must shower.”

  Snatching up my bag, I dug through it for a fresh pair of clothes. I handed her the remote to the TV.

  “Occupy yourself while I go in the bathroom and get naked and wet.” I winked at her.

  She laughed and set down the remote.

  “Actually, I have to get home.” She shrugged. “School tomorrow and everything. You have my number if you need anything.”

  I didn’t want her to leave. My life was getting crazy, and if I were being honest with myself, I didn’t really want to be alone. But instead of saying anything and looking like a total punk, I shook my head.

  “I guess I’ll see you around?”

  “Hopefully.” She shyly shrugged and looked away.

  After Patience left, I took a hot shower and watched sitcoms on the crappiest TV known to man. An hour after that, the sun had gone down and I was dying from boredom.

  I picked up my phone and texted Patience.

  Me: FYI, you’re missing a great party over here.

  Patience: I am?

  Me: Not really. I’m bored.

  Patience: Oh, and here I was thinking you texted me because you were thinking about me.

  Me: If I texted you every time I thought about you, I’d never stop texting.

  Patience: You’re so full of it.

  Me: You should be full of it.

  Patience: Pervert

  Me: You like it.

  Patience: Maybe

  Me: Come spend the night with me. No sex. Just hanging out.

  My phone was silent for almost an hour. I was about to doze off when she responded and I couldn’t stop myself from getting excited.

  Patience: OK. On the way.

  Eighteen

  Patience

  I was nervous the entire trip back to Zeke’s motel room. What if he expected something I couldn’t give? I knew being stuck in a motel room with a guy like him wasn’t safe, mostly because I couldn’t stop thinking about his hands and mouth, but I wanted to be near him.

  When I got home and found out my dad went out of town for the week, I couldn’t squelch the excitement that took over me. A week of no dad worries—a week of coming and going as I pleased and not having to play protector... not having to play Patience. I was excited to enjoy my father-free week.

  When it came to Zeke, driving the car from my dad didn’t seem like such a sin. I hated the car and everything it stood for, but I loved being around Zeke more.

  The trip to the motel was quick, and it wasn’t long until I pulled in next his car. I couldn’t help but feel a little sleazy for pulling up at such a place so late at night. I pulled my book bag out of the back and grabbed my soccer bag that held extra clothes and everything I needed to get ready for school.

  “Took you long enough,” Zeke said as he leaned a shoulder against the doorframe.

  I felt myself blush after realizing he’d been standing there watching me the entire time. Thank God I didn’t do anything gross like pick my panties out of a wedgie or something.

  He turned and put his back to the doorframe as I started to walk through the door. When I tried to pass, he put his arm out and stopped me.

  “What’s the password?” He leaned in and whispered.

  “Um… I’m a creepy weirdo?” I joked, referring to him.

  He laughed. “You are? I had no idea.”

  I playfully smacked at his chest.

  “Just let me in already.” I sighed.

  He moved his arm, but before I could take a step, he pulled me to him and put his lips against the soft skin beneath my ear.

  “For further reference, the passphrase for you will always be ‘I like snowflakes on my tongue.’”

  His voice against the side of my neck made me shiver. His laughter followed behind me as he stepped in and closed the door.

  “You look nervous,” he said as he took my heavy book bag away from me.

  “I sort of am,” I said honestly.

  “Don’t be nervous. We’re just two friends hanging out and watching some TV. It’s a first for me, but it seems like I’m doing a lot of firsts when it comes to you.”

  “It’s a first for me, too.”

  “You’ve never hung out with friends and watched TV?” His brow creased in with confusion.

  “I have, but I’ve never spent the night with a guy before.”

  “Well, as long as you don’t pull out those damn gym shorts and soccer socks, I think you’ll leave unscathed.”

  I laughed.

  “Seriously, my soccer socks?”

  “Hell yeah. I’ve had some dirty fantasies about you and those socks.” He winked as he tossed me a pillow, then fell on the bed facing the TV.

  “Okay, so what are we watching?” he asked casually, like he wasn’t just flirting two seconds before.

  We sat up watching sitcoms and talking about our favorite movies until my eyes refused to stay open. At one point, I was almost positive Zeke kissed me on the cheek and told me goodnight, but I was so out of it I couldn’t be sure.

  I woke up twice throughout the night. Once with Zeke’s arms wrapped tightly around me as he spooned me from behind and the second time with my arm and leg thrown across him while he was on his back. It was some of the best sleep I’d gotten in years.

  The next morning my ringing cell phone woke me. I reached over to answer it, but I didn’t make it in time. It was my eighteenth birthday and I knew it was probably my sister calling to sing me happy birthday. She’d warned me the night before that she would. She wasn’t too happy about me “spending the night with Megan” the night before my birthday.

  The sun cut through a slit in the curtains and right into my eyes. Outside the window I could hear a couple arguing about money. How I’d managed to sleep through that I had no idea. It didn’t seem to bother Zeke since he was snoozing away next to me. I turned toward him and took in his sleeping face.

  Happy eighteenth birthday to me!

  Dear God, the man looked gorgeous even while he slept. Sleeping on his stomach, his hand was across mine. I pressed my head deeper into my pillow and let my eyes roam over his naked back. When had he taken off his shirt and why the hell did I miss it?

  His finger jerked and brought my attention back to our hands. I ran my finger over the nautical star tattoo on side of his wrist. He slept peacefully as I traced the lines of the dark ink. Occasionally, the tip of my finger would bump into a bubbled vein.

  He released a sleepy noise and turned his hand over. While the top of his hand was soft, his palms were rough. I laid my palm against his and compared his hand to mine. His was so much larger and tanner. His hands were those of a boy who’d lived a rough life, but when he touched me it was if they were soft as cotton.

  Being able to touch him this way was such a big deal for me. I’d always thought that touch was something I’d just have to live without, but with him it was a beautiful thing.

  “What’s that smile about?” he asked, his voice thick and raspy from sleep.

  I hadn’t ev
en realized I was smiling.

  “It’s nothing,”

  “It didn’t look like nothing.” He rolled over “What time is it?”

  Shit!

  I snatched up my phone and looked at the time. It was after eight a.m., which meant we were both late for school.

  I turned to jump out of bed, but he grabbed me from behind and forced me back down.

  “No. Sleep,” he said into his pillow.

  “We’re going to miss school.”

  I very rarely missed school and when I did, it was because of something important like fractured ribs.

  “Let’s skip. We’re seniors. After all the years we’ve been in school, we deserve a free day.”

  I settled back into the bed beside him.

  “You’re a bad influence,” I said as I stared up at the ceiling,

  “I know and you love it.”

  His breath evened out after that and I knew he’d gone back to sleep. I slipped out of the bed and got a shower. When I was done, I peeked out of the bathroom to see if he was still sleeping. Once I saw that he was, I opened the bathroom door to let the steam out. I already had on my bra and panties, but the bathroom was so small I couldn’t breathe with the door closed.

  I pulled on my jeans, then bent down and brushed my teeth. I hummed an Imagine Dragons song as I swished water around my mouth to rinse, then ran my brush through my hair. When I turned to grab my shirt, it was missing. I did a quick scan of the bathroom before my eyes collided with Zeke’s. He stood in the bathroom door in pair of loose-fitting jeans. His elbows were braced against the doorframe as his eyes greedily moved over my body.

  My eyes went to my shirt, which was dangling from his fingers above his head. He grinned at me and moved it up higher.

  “Can I please have my shirt?” I said as I tried to cover myself the best I could with my hands.

  It wasn’t like I was naked, but still, it was enough nakedness for me. He reached out and pulled my arms away from my body.

  “Don’t,” I said as I tried to cover myself again.

  “No. You don’t. Your body’s beautiful.”

  He threw my shirt onto the bed across from the bathroom door and then he entered the small, steamed-over bathroom. The space shrunk with his large size, but instead of feeling claustrophobic, I felt hotter. Either the steam had gotten thicker or my breathing was getting harder.

  Goosebumps covered my arms as he ran his hands from my shoulders to my elbows. Then he tugged me closer and my naked stomach touched his. He looked down at me and bit his lip ring. Pulling my elbows up, he put my arms around his neck, pressing my bra-covered breasts into his chest.

  He leaned down and nuzzled my neck with his nose and then I felt his soft lips against my collarbone.

  “I love how you tease me,” he said as he moved his hands down and pulled my hips closer to him.

  “I didn’t know I was.” My voice sounded weak and nervous.

  “That’s just it. You do it without realizing it. It’s so innocent, but such a fucking turn-on. I’m not used to someone being shy and sexy at the same time.”

  His lips skimmed my jaw line and then he nipped my chin with his teeth. I couldn’t take it. I grabbed the sides of his face and brought his lips to mine. He pulled me harder against him and moaned into my mouth. I felt it in between my legs and my nipples went hard inside my bra.

  Pushing against me, he moved me back until the back of my thighs were against the wet bathroom counter. As if I weighed nothing, he lifted me onto it and fit himself between my legs. It felt amazing. Zeke was so good at this stuff. He continued to kiss me. His tongue slipped into my mouth and a tiny sound leapt from my throat.

  Kissing was so new to me, but I still managed to keep up. I felt his lip ring press into my bottom lip and he flicked my tongue with his before he began to softly suck on the tip of it. His body was pressing against me harder. I wrapped my legs around him and helped him as he started to rock his hips into me.

  The friction of my jeans being rubbing against me over and over again started to feel good. I grabbed onto his hips and dug my fingers into him. I didn’t even realize I was making noises until he pointed it out.

  “I love it when you whine like that. I can make it better if you’ll let me.”

  He slipped a finger inside the waist of my jeans. I leaned back on the counter to give him easier access. My palm landed on top of my phone and the voicemail from my sister started playing on speaker phone. Sydney’s awful rendition of the birthday song filled the heated bathroom and everything stopped.

  I swatted at my phone to make it stop, but by then it was too late.

  Zeke looked down at me in confusion.

  “Today’s your birthday?”

  “It’s really not a big deal.”

  “Babe, eighteen is a big deal,” he said with wide eyes. “Why didn’t you say something?”

  My dad took away joyful things like birthdays when I was seven, and it was like a nail in the coffin when he took my virginity at thirteen. It was hard to find excitement over something like another year of life when your life was a living hell.

  “Because it’s not a big deal.”

  Bathroom steaminess forgotten, he pulled me down from the counter and planted a sweet kiss on my mouth.

  “We have to celebrate. Let me take you to lunch and a show.”

  “Both of us are broke. How are we going to make that happen?”

  “Listen up, princess, I grew up poor as dirt. I know all about making a dollar stretch. Come on.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bathroom.

  I caught my shirt in the air when he threw it at me and then I pulled it over my head. I kind of appreciated the fact that Zeke put my birthday before sex. It said a lot to me about where I was on his list of priorities.

  “Okay, first thing’s first, I’m taking you to the best restaurant in town.”

  The best restaurant in town ended up being McDonald’s. Zeke schooled me in the ways of the dollar menu and when I pointed out that Transformers was one of my favorite movies, he used his skills in persuasion to con the little brunette behind the counter into giving him a happy meal toy of Optimus Prime for my birthday. It was quite possibly the sweetest birthday present I’d ever received.

  When we left, he held my hand as we walked to his car. I didn’t even think he was aware of it, but I was. I was aware of everything about him.

  The show he promised ended up being a trip to the local aquarium. A friend of his ran the front booth so he was able to get us in free. The place was dead, so as we walked around the hallways, we were alone. Still, he held my hand.

  “That fish looks like Chet when he plays the drums,” he laughed as he pointed out a fish with a squished-up face.

  That was how the rest of our day went. When we got back to the motel, it was almost time for Zeke to go to Boy’s Club. I hadn’t been in a while, but I really needed to get home and check on Mom and Sydney.

  We went inside and I gathered up my things. He stood to the side and watched with an awkward expression on his face. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I didn’t want to dig too deep.

  Once all my things were packed, I walked to the door. He followed behind me so closely that when I turned around to say good-bye we were face to face. He peered down at me with eyes so dark they looked black, and I sucked in his attention.

  “Thank you so much for today. It was by far the best birthday I’ve ever had.” I smiled up at him.

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.” He reached out and pulled me to him.

  “I’m not.”

  He leaned in and kissed me softly on my lips.

  “Goodnight, Zeke.”

  “Goodnight, snowflake.”

  Nineteen

  Zeke

  I was convinced there was nothing more gorgeous than Patience with the blue lighting of the aquarium reflected on her face. The radiant smile she wore for most of the day made me forget that my life was in s
hambles. I felt proud for being able to make her smile so beautifully.

  Watching her pack her bag to go home made me sad and it shouldn’t have. Actually, I was starting to feel way more for Patience than I was okay with. I hadn’t even realized throughout the day that we’d been holding hands most of the time. It was as if I didn’t want to be disconnected from her.

  That night Boy’s Club was a total blow. I enjoyed spending time with the boys, but I’d rather be with Patience or practicing with the band. I really needed to get some playing time in since Finn told me there were going to be some record executives at our show the following weekend.

  By time I was done with my hour of community service, I’d texted Tiny, who lived on his own, and arranged to move in with him in a few days, and I’d already talked to Javier about more stuff to sell. Things were coming together and I was starting to feel a load lift from my chest.

  That night, while lying in bed watching TV, I could smell Patience on the pillows and sheets. I snuggled into the pillow she’d used the night before and breathed her in. I really loved being around her. I loved her smile and the way her eyes lit up when I did something that made her happy. I loved her laugh and her shy teasing. I loved…

  Suddenly, the room came in on me. I couldn’t breathe. I sat up quickly and tried to suck in deep breaths, but nothing happened. I jumped out of the bed and ran to the bathroom. Sitting on the counter was one of her hair ties from when she’d taken a shower. The bathroom still smelled like the expensive shampoo she brought with her.

  I turned on the cold water in the sink and stuck my hands in to fill them. I bathed my burning face with icy water until my nose felt numb.

  How did I let this happen? How was it even possible? I was in love with Patience. I’d never been in love, but I definitely had the symptoms. I sat on the bathroom floor and stared at the purple hair tie on the counter. I couldn’t do this to her and I wouldn’t do this to me. She deserved so much more than a guy who bought her McDonald’s for her birthday and could only afford to do more if he sold enough drugs.