Dirty at 30 (Love Without Batteries Book 1)

by Cassandra Lawson

  “You were pretty out of it when I got here,” I told her.

  “I was tired,” she admitted with a yawn. “Sorry. I was in bed at nine, so I have no clue why I’m so tired today.”

  “You were restless all night,” I explained. “What exactly did your mom say to upset you this much?”

  Her expression became distant, and even though she was smiling, it was a lie. “It was nothing.”

  “Brook,” I began, reaching out to stroke her cheek. I couldn’t force her to tell me what was bothering her, but at the same time, I wasn’t going to play some bullshit game where I pretended I didn’t know anything was wrong. “You don’t have to deal with this alone. Whatever it is, I’m here for you.”

  “I’d better get dressed,” she said, rolling away from me and sitting up.

  “Hold up,” I called out when she moved to climb out of bed. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No,” she replied automatically before letting out a sigh. “It’s not something you said. You’re great, and I appreciate you wanting to help me with what’s going on, but I can’t keep doing this.”

  “Doing what?” I asked cautiously.

  “Leading you on,” she replied without meeting my eyes.

  “Leading me on?” I asked, knowing I wasn’t going to be happy with her answer.

  “About what’s going on,” she clarified. “You’re a great guy, but I can’t get involved in anything serious right now. This is just fucking, and we need to stop pretending it can be more.”

  “Just fucking?” I asked, drawing out the words.

  “Of course, we’re friends, too,” she added.

  “So, we’re simply friends who are fucking?” I was seriously pissed by this point. She wanted to reduce what we had to casual sex? No fucking way was that happening.

  “I can’t have more than that!” she shouted, wrapping herself in a robe and moving across the room.

  I climbed out of bed and stalked toward her, naked. “Why? What happened yesterday that made you so afraid to trust me?”

  Brook flinched as if I’d hit her, and I felt like an asshole. I was still pissed, but I knew I needed to rein it in. “Talk to me, sweetheart. What did your mom say to make you think we can’t be together?”

  “This whole situation isn’t fair to you,” she admitted softly. “I’m afraid I’ll end up hurting you.”

  “How do you think you’re going to hurt me? How do you think you’re leading me on?”

  “I like you, Ty,” she began. “I want us to be friends when this ends. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “So, you’re already planning for this to end?” I asked.

  “It has to,” she replied, sounding choked. “I’m still married, and I need to get my life together before I start any sort of relationship.”

  “It’s too late for that,” I told her, and before she could argue, I tugged her against my bare chest and kissed her. There wasn’t even a moment’s hesitation in her response. Her arms slid around my back, and she moaned into my mouth. I fisted her hair at the back of her head and ripped open her robe to get closer to her. My tongue thrust into her mouth, and she responded by moving her tongue against mine. It wasn’t until I tasted her salty tears that I pulled back. Releasing her hair, I gently settled her head against my chest.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart,” I crooned.

  “Rob is delaying the divorce, and I’m probably going to spend all my savings fighting him,” she admitted on a sob.

  “Is that why you’re worried about hurting me?” I asked.

  “I also realized I’m jumping from my marriage to Rob into a relationship with you,” she explained.

  “Why would you think that?” I asked, pulling back slightly to look at her face.

  “It’s something that was pointed out to me yesterday, and you have to admit it’s true,” she insisted.

  “No, it’s not,” I argued. “What relationship did you have with Rob?”

  “He’s my husband,” Brook shot back.

  “A husband you haven’t seen in more than a decade,” I reminded her. “That’s not a real marriage. Whoever convinced you it was is an idiot, and you definitely shouldn’t listen to them.”

  Brook nodded and rested her head against my chest again. “I don’t know why I let her get to me like this.”

  “Let who get to you? Wait! Is that what your mom said when she called?”

  “She called to berate me for divorcing Rob, and when she realized I was seeing you, she basically accused me of using you as a crutch.”

  “I take it your attorney called later to tell you Rob’s being a dick about the divorce, which just added to your stress and worries about using me.”

  “Yes,” she uttered against my chest. “Between that and my conversation with my mom, I got to wondering if this is a huge mistake.”

  I pulled back some and put a finger under her chin to get her to look at me. “We are not a mistake.”

  “How can you know that?” she asked. “I don’t even know when I’ll be able to get my divorce finalized, and I’ve never had anything resembling a healthy relationship. How do you expect me to make a relationship work when my life has been such a mess? I might still be married to Rob a year and a half from now. I can’t promise I won’t hurt you.”

  “Of course you can’t. No one can make that kind of promise. Shit happens, and sometimes, people get hurt. All you have to do is take it one day at a time,” I assured her. “There’s no way of knowing if one of us will get hurt. In the end, you don’t get to decide if I’m willing to take the risk. I do. To me, you’re worth the risk of being hurt.”

  When she said nothing, I took it to mean she wasn’t going to argue with me. “I think we just had our first fight.”

  “It wasn’t a fight,” she insisted.

  “It seemed like a fight to me,” I argued. “You know what that means, don’t you?”

  She shook her head. “Please don’t tell me we need to put it on a calendar to celebrate an anniversary or something.”

  I let out a startled bark of laughter. “Despite how sensitive I seemed moments ago, I didn’t grow a vagina.”

  “Hmmmm,” she cooed, sidling closer to me. “I should check, just to be sure.”

  “Oh, you’ll find out, because after a fight, we need to have make-up sex,” I insisted. “It’s my responsibility to fuck you so good you can’t remember what we fought about, and I take my responsibilities very seriously.”

  “Is that so?” she purred. “I’m not sure we have time. Don’t you need to shower and hurry into the office?”

  “Then I guess I’ll have to multi-task and fuck you in the shower.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Brook

  Ty didn’t give me time to react to his naughty promise. Leaning forward slightly, he tossed me over his shoulder. On the way to the bathroom, he stopped by the bedside table where I expected him to grab a condom. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when he grabbed my purple waterproof vibrator instead.

  “Ty!” I screeched. “What about a condom?”

  “Your shower is too small for shower sex, but I still haven’t had a chance to enjoy your toy collection,” he stated.

  I moaned at the idea of Ty using one of my toys on me. That one had never been a favorite of mine, but I was definitely curious to see if I’d enjoy it more in Ty’s hands.

  In the bathroom, Ty set me down and spun me until I was facing the shower. “Turn the water on, sweetheart,” he commanded. When I hesitated, his hand made contact with my right butt cheek, leaving a slight sting in its wake. “Turn it on, Brook.”

  Moving into the shower, I turned the water on before looking at Ty. There he stood, watching me with the vibrator still in one hand. His eyes were dark with desire, and his dick was hard.

  “Why don’t we head back to my bed?” I suggested. “You look like you could use a little help with that thing.”

  “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I have every intention
of letting you help me with this after I play a little,” he crooned, setting the toy on the counter. “Step into the water.”

  As the warm water cascaded around my body, his hand reached down to stroke his cock, and my own breathing became labored at the sight. There was something unbelievably erotic about watching a man touch himself. It felt almost forbidden, and I was suddenly dying to see him come that way.

  “Grab the soap,” he rasped out, and I immediately obeyed, too mesmerized by the sight of him stroking his thick shaft to even consider arguing.

  Reaching out a shaky hand, I picked up the bar of soap. “Lather up those beautiful breasts of yours,” he told me. “Pay extra attention your nipples. I want them hard and aching, just like they get when I suck them.”

  A little whimper was my only response as I began to lather up my breasts while Ty watched. With hooded eyes, I continued to enjoy him stroking his cock, now imagining how good it would feel inside of me. Licking my lips, I longed to taste Ty. He stepped into the shower, positioning himself behind me and speaking close to my ear. “Are you thinking about how much you want to touch my dick?”

  “Yes,” I panted out. “I want to take you into my mouth.”

  “Not this time,” he insisted. “I need you to bend forward a little. Put your hands on the wall of the shower.”

  When I did as he said, Ty spread my legs slightly and then I heard the soft vibrations. As the vibrator glided along my clit, I arched like a cat, moaning and rolling my hips to increase the pressure with the vibrator. Ty continued to move it against my clit until I was rocking and moaning as my orgasm neared. The vibrator slid back, teasing my opening. That’s when the vibrations increased in speed and force as Ty thrust the vibrator into me. His right hand reached around to strum my clit with one finger. I felt completely exposed to Ty as he stroked my clit and used my vibrator to fuck me. My keening whimpers echoed off the bathroom walls while Ty continued to drive me to the edge of ecstasy.

  “Oh, Ty!” I screamed when the first of my violent spasms rocked my body. The thrust of the vibrator slowed as Ty milked out the last of my orgasm before sliding it out of my body.

  “That was hot as hell,” Ty practically growled.

  “Let me touch you,” I pleaded, needing more than anything to see him come.

  Grabbing the soap, I lathered up both hands before wrapping one tightly around his cock. With my other hand, I cupped his balls as I stroked his rigid, pulsing shaft. Ty’s head dropped back, and he let out a groan, pushing forward into my hand. I took my cues from the way he moaned and told me how good my hand felt. As his breathing became more labored, my hand tightened, and I increased my pace, pumping his dick faster.

  “That’s so fucking good. I’m so close,” he groaned. When my hand tightened and stroked even faster, Ty let out a guttural cry as he came completely undone, shouting my name.

  After I’d worked the last of Ty’s orgasm from his body, I released him, and he leaned forward to brush his lips against mine.

  “That was incredible,” he praised.

  “You still owe me make-up sex,” I told him.

  “Is that so?” he drawled.

  I nodded. “I’m sure this doesn’t count as sex, so you owe me.”

  “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I will more than make it up to you when I see you tonight.”

  It looked like I was in for another day of being distracted at work. At least, I wouldn’t mind this distraction.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Brook

  “When you asked if I wanted to go boating, this was not what I had in mind,” I told Ty as we neared the docks at the lake.

  “What did you have in mind?” he asked.

  “I was picturing relaxing on a sailboat,” I admitted. “Although, I suppose the rowboat could be fun.”

  “No rowboat,” he insisted.

  I stopped to check out the boats they had for rent. All that was available were rowboats, small aluminum boats with outboard motors, and pedal boats. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

  “A pedal boat,” he replied with a grin, laughing at my expression, which was probably a cross between disbelieving and near-horrified.

  “You’re joking, right?” I asked. Pedaling around a lake did not sound like fun.

  “It’s great!” Ty insisted enthusiastically, resembling an excited little boy. “If you don’t believe me, ask Chelsea. Our parents used to take us all the time when we were kids.”

  “Fine, but if this sucks, I may have to push you into the lake,” I warned.

  “There is no swimming in the lake,” interrupted a park ranger. The guy looked like your stereotypical mountain man, tall with a thick, bushy beard and a wide-brimmed hat covering his dark hair.

  “I was just teasing him,” I assured the ranger.

  “Jiminy Crickets, Paul, leave the kids alone,” came the squeaky command from a tiny woman with a floppy sunhat and a pale pink ranger outfit. “Never mind him. He doesn’t work here, but he just can’t stop harassing folks.”

  “Now, Millie,” Paul began with a huge grin.

  “Don’t you now Millie me,” she warned. “Just because you’re a handsome devil, doesn’t mean I’m going to let you mess with these poor kids. Now, let’s get off to our picnic.”

  “You don’t work here?” I asked the mountain of a man.

  He looked perplexed by my question, so I had to assume he didn’t realize he was dressed like a park ranger. After our strange interaction with Paul and Millie, Ty rented the pedal boat, and we received our safety instructions from a very bored park employee, which made me think they really should hire Paul. I probably would have paid more attention if Paul had been giving the instructions.

  Pedaling proved harder than I’d expected, and apparently, Ty’s height made it difficult to pedal.

  “Don’t you dare stop pedaling,” I warned when he took his feet off the pedals for the third time. The first time, it had taken me nearly five minutes to realize I was the only one pedaling.

  “How about a little break?” he suggested.

  “Fine with me,” I agreed, doing my best to catch my breath. “My gym should add a machine that simulates this.”

  “Does this mean you’re going to thank me for taking you out here today?” he asked with a teasing grin.

  “I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you,” I replied. “Is it everything you remembered?”

  “Not quite,” he admitted. “It’s much less fun than when I was a kid. You might enjoy it more if you’d tried it as a kid.”

  “We didn’t have a lake close to where I grew up,” I explained, leaving out the fact that my family probably wouldn’t have done anything like this, anyway. We’d talked enough about my parents for Ty to already know that.

  “Where did you grow up?” he asked. “I can’t believe I’ve known you all these years, and I don’t know this.”

  “That’s because I don’t talk much about my childhood,” I admitted. A breeze swept past us, cooling my sweat dampened skin. “You’ve heard more about my childhood than most people in my life have.”

  “It means a lot to me that you’ve shared so much about your past,” Ty told me. “Tell me if I’m ever asking too much.”

  “I will,” I assured him. “I grew up in Samson Valley, which is a tiny unincorporated community near Soledad. Several of the people living there work at the prison in Soledad. Those are the wealthy ones in the community, but they’re required to give a large percentage of their earnings to the church, so they don’t really live much better than the rest,” I explained.

  “I’ve never heard of Samson Valley,” he admitted.

  “I’m not surprised. It’s one step up from a religious cult. If I hadn’t seen what normal life was like in my teen years, I’d probably still be living there.”

  Ty nodded and reached over to take my hand. “I’m glad you got out.”

  “I was lucky enough to make a friend who didn’t consider me one of the freaky kids fr
om the cult town. That’s how people outside our community saw us, and I think it’s why the kids living there don’t usually stray.”

  “I’m surprised you had a chance to meet anyone outside your community,” Ty remarked. “It seems like they’d want to keep their young people isolated from the outside world.”

  “Most teens aren’t allowed to leave the community, but there weren’t enough jobs in town, and my parents needed money. When I was sixteen, I got a job at a fast food place in Soledad,” I began. “That’s where I met my friend, Ashley. Long story short, I moved in with her family and finished high school in Soledad. When they moved out of state, right after I graduated from high school, I moved up here to go to college, which is where I met Rob.”

  “I never understood why you married him,” Ty mused. “Even back then, when I knew nothing about love, Luke’s dad seemed like a narcissistic prick.”

  I shrugged. “It was what I knew,” I admitted. “I’d been raised to believe I needed to get married, so when Rob asked me, I accepted. He was also much different when we were dating.”

  Ty nodded. “Is it wrong that I’m glad you married him? I don’t even want to think about what Luke’s life would have been like without you in it.”

  “Neither do I,” I told him. “I could never regret having Luke in my life. Honestly, all I have is him and my friends. My parents will never be a positive part of my life.”

  “You also have me,” he added.

  Tears burned the backs of my eyes. “That’s why this is so scary for me.”

  He looked confused. “I don’t understand.”

  “I don’t want to risk having things get messed up between us. What if we let our emotions get involved and then end up hating each other?” I asked. “I’d rather keep you as a friend than risk losing you.”

  Ty considered my words for a moment. “I don’t how to reassure you,” he admitted. “I’ve known you a long time, and I like and respect you. Nothing can change that.”

  I wanted to believe him, but my past made it hard.

  Ty must have seen my struggle because he squeezed my thigh and smiled. “I’ll prove to you that I’ll always be here for you,” he promised. “Even if you decide you don’t want me as more than a friend, I won’t leave you.”