An Indecent Proposition Complete ARe

by Stephanie Julian

  Wincing, Jules realized her mom had put into words exactly what she’d been worried about. “So what do you think I should do?

  “I think you need to give them a few days. Let things cool off. If they come to you, that’s great. But…”

  Her mom sighed.

  “But what?”

  “But I think you should be prepared.”

  Her mom’s sad, apologetic smile made Jules’s heart hurt but she didn’t need to ask what to be prepared for.

  It would be nothing good.

  *

  “Carol?” Jules stuck her head through the open office doorway Monday morning. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  Her friend’s head popped up from behind her laptop screen, a smile curving her lips. “Sure, Julianne. Come on in. What’s up?”

  Jules walked into Carol’s office behind the kitchens she’d built for her catering business. She loved the open work space, the granite countertops, and the professional-grade ranges. When she was here, she felt like she was in her element. Like she belonged.

  “I’ve been thinking about something and I wanted to run it by you.”

  Closing the laptop, Carol leaned back in her chair and gave Jules her entire attention. “Absolutely.”

  Even though she’d rehearsed exactly what she wanted to say, it was still difficult to get the words out. Sliding into the seat opposite Carol gave her an excuse to stall just a little more but finally she couldn’t any longer.

  “I’m thinking about attending the CIA in the fall.”

  Carol’s eyebrows arched higher as her smile spread. “Oh, wow. That would be great! I mean, I’ll be sorry to see you go but it’s a great school.”

  The Culinary Institute of America was one of the leading culinary schools in the country. Jules had never even considered applying because she knew she wouldn’t be able to afford it. It’d been nothing more than a pipe dream.

  Now…

  She had the money. But it meant she’d have to move to New York.

  Away from her mom, her friends, her job. Away from Keegan and Erik.

  “I’m not sure yet,” she hedged. “But my mom’s doing really well and now…now I have the money.”

  More than enough to pay her tuition and room and board. Thanks to Keegan and Erik.

  Who were the reasons she hesitated.

  “And the problem is…?”

  Carol’s tone suggested she knew what the problem was.

  Sighing, Jules propped her elbow on the arm of the chair and let her head fall into her hand. “I’m not sure I want to leave.”

  Carol nodded, her expression sympathetic. “And does that have something to do with a couple of mutual friends?”

  Jules bit her lip, knowing this was exactly why she’d come to Carol, but afraid to discover that maybe Erik and Keegan had already moved on. It had been three days since Keegan had said goodbye after that night. Both men had promised to be in touch. Neither had.

  She’d gone from upset to pissed off to depressed and back to pissed off.

  Today, she was just worried.

  “Have you seen them lately? Or heard from them?”

  Carol shook her head. “Not for a few weeks. I…thought they were busy. With you. Did something happen?”

  “Yes. And no. Jeez, everything is just so screwed up.”

  Carol’s face twisted in sympathy. “And so much of this is my fault. I’m sorry, Jules, I never should’ve—”

  “No, Carol. No. It’s not your fault. I could have said no.”

  Carol grimaced. “But I knew you wouldn’t. I knew you needed the money. And I knew I couldn’t loan you that much. I knew you and your mom had gotten all the credit you were going to get. I knew this was such a screwed-up situation to begin with and I did it anyway. But I honestly thought…”

  Carol’s eyes closed as she shook her head, taking a deep breath.

  “Thought what?” Jules prompted.

  Carol stared straight at her. “I honestly thought you’d be good for them. I’ve known them for years. I’ve seen how Erik’s situation has affected them both. I know you didn’t know them before but…Erik was one of those people who had a good time no matter what he was doing. He genuinely loved life and he dragged Keegan out of his shell.”

  Leaning back in her chair, Jules listened, nodding at Carol to go on.

  “Erik’s accident changed them both at a fundamental level, and I really thought they’d never recover. That it would tear apart their friendship and their business. But what it did was draw them tighter together and alienated everyone else. I couldn’t bear to watch. Then they saw you and I saw a spark of that old life come back into Erik’s eyes.”

  Jules shook her head. “Did you honestly think one night with me would solve all of Erik’s problems? Because I think everything’s gotten so much worse.”

  “So tell me what happened.”

  As Jules told her about the previous night, she saw Carol’s expression become more and more distressed until finally she held up her hand. Jules had just gotten to the part about the accident being rigged.

  “Oh my god. Poor Erik. He must have been devastated. And Keegan… Jesus. So what are they going to do?”

  “I’m not really sure. I haven’t seen them since early Sunday morning.”

  Carol fell silent for several seconds, her gaze boring into Jules’s as she sorted through what Jules had told her. And what she hadn’t.

  “So let me guess. Erik said something stupid, Keegan tried to smooth it over, and they ended up pissed off at each other and not talking. And now you’re caught in the middle.”

  It was close enough that Jules nodded. “Pretty much, yeah. I haven’t heard from them since then. And I’m afraid I won’t.”

  “Do you want to? Hear from them again, I mean. Or is that why you’ve decided to finally move on with your life and go to culinary school?”

  Jules’s nose wrinkled as she grimaced. “I guess it would be nice if I figured that out, hmm?”

  Carol smiled. “Yes, it would probably make your decision much easier. But then, I’m not sure anything will make this decision easier.” After a short pause, she said, “Jules…can I ask…do you love them?”

  Jules didn’t answer right away. She didn’t want to blurt out “Yes” and have Carol doubt her. She took her time to think.

  “Honestly, I don’t know. What I feel for them is so wrapped up in how we first met and the sex and the emotion and, truthfully, the money just complicates everything.”

  Grimacing, Carol nodded. “Money usually does.”

  “It’s just…I think I do. Love them.” And just saying the words out loud made her heart thump in agreement. “But what if…”

  She couldn’t finish the sentence because she wasn’t sure she knew what she wanted to say.

  What if they don’t love me back? I’ll be heartbroken twice.

  “Yeah, that’s a big ‘what if,’ isn’t it?” Apparently Carol understood. “I honestly don’t know what to tell you. I love those guys like brothers but I know how they can be. They’re stubborn as hell and they both think they’re right about everything. Being in the middle of that is difficult, I’m sure. Just…don’t let it scare you away. Not if this relationship is something you really want.”

  And is it?

  Was it worth fighting for? There was just so much involved, from Erik’s scars to Keegan’s guilt, from the money that would allow her to leave this place behind to her guilt at wanting to leave her mom.

  And that didn’t even take into account what people in their community would think when they found out she was sleeping with both of them. Some of them already had a less-than-good opinion of her.

  “It just seems like there’s too many hurdles.” The words came out in an almost whispered hush, and shame curled in her gut. “And that sounds like I’m taking the easy way out.”

  “Honey, no one could ever accuse you of running from a difficult situation. And even if they did, they don’t know yo
u and you shouldn’t give a shit about what they think.”

  Jules nodded. “But you know it’s just not that simple. Erik and Keegan have a business. A hugely successful business. They have to deal with people from all over the world—”

  “Now wait a sec. Are we talking about the same men?” Carol’s amusement shone through her wry smile. “Keegan hates that aspect of the job, dealing with the boardroom stuff. Erik used to handle it before the acci—well, before the explosion. But even he didn’t really have the patience for it. Yes, he loved the party aspect of it but he hated the actual business aspect of it. Now, you know he won’t go near a cocktail party. Keegan does some of the social appearances when it’s absolutely necessary but he hates it even more than Erik, I think. They hire people to handle that stuff.”

  “But their reputation—”

  “May be slightly dinged if a few narrow-minded people decide to stick their noses in other people’s business. But they are way too good at what they do for people to discount simply because they both choose to love the same girl.”

  “And what if they don’t love me? What if I never hear from them again?”

  Carol huffed. “Then they’re idiots and I’m going to go smack them. I honestly don’t see that happening but, Jules, the relationship has to be right for you, too.”

  Carol paused, as if she could tell she’d hit a nerve. And she had. Jules hadn’t really thought about the situation in those terms before. In how it affected her personally.

  “The guys already know how to deal with each other,” Carol continued as Jules’s head continued to spin. “But you have to deal with both of them and that could drive any woman over the edge. Have you really thought about what your life’ll be like if you make this relationship permanent? About the reality of living and loving two men day in and day out?”

  When Jules just stared at her, Carol’s lips quirked.

  “Sometimes what we want isn’t what we need. Sure, a buffet is great but you know if you gorge, you’re going to make yourself sick.”

  *

  By Thursday afternoon, Keegan was ready to climb the walls.

  He and Erik hadn’t spoken since Saturday night. Erik had deliberately evaded him at the lab and Keegan had let him. And if he were being the least bit honest, he’d admit he hadn’t gone out of his way to run into Erik.

  So they were both in avoidance mode. Great.

  What sucked was that Keegan didn’t know what to do about it.

  Sitting in his office, which he rarely used unless he wanted to make a phone call away from the noise and general chaos of the lab, he stared at the wall.

  He and Erik had hired the best people they could find for the jobs they’d created but they’d also hired people they could get along with. The three developers had come from Princeton, were a few years younger than he and Keegan and just as brilliant. To a degree, they all shared Keegan and Erik’s sensibilities and their slightly offbeat approach to science.

  They also had an additional five technicians and an office manager who kept them all on a short leash. They’d hired Sandra Keating five minutes into her interview when she’d told them she’d raised five boys with her Navy husband around the world and had never seen a group of people more in need of a drill sergeant than this building of misfits.

  When Erik had been in the hospital, she’d been one of the first people to visit. She’d sat by his bed, held his hand, and kept him informed of everything going on at the office. She’d never once cried in Erik’s presence, but Keegan had caught her sobbing in her husband’s arms when he’d come to pick her up.

  Keegan had still been in shock at that point, going from the hospital to the lab with absolutely no purpose or direction. Seeing Sandra, who always looked so calm and collected with her perfectly styled blond hair and polished nails, break down had knocked Keegan out of his free fall.

  The office had needed someone to step up and pull them all back together. Keegan had managed it. Barely.

  Now Sandra entered his office in her sensible shoes and her khaki pants and white blouse and stared at him with the same look in her eye she’d given Erik when he’d first come back to work and refused to go to a staff meeting. Erik had been there minutes later.

  “All right, I want to know what’s going on and what’s going to need to happen to fix it.”

  Keegan blinked before he could stop himself. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Sandra cocked her head at him, eyes wide, and Keegan braced for the snark attack. “Oh really? So you haven’t noticed that you and Erik haven’t been in the same room together at this entire week? Or that you haven’t spoken to him all week? Or that the staff is starting to wonder if they’re going to have jobs next month if you two don’t figure out your shit and kiss and make up or whatever the hell you need to do to fix whatever happened?”

  Her husband might’ve been the one in the service, but Sandra was the family’s commanding officer. And TinMan’s, too. He and Erik owned the business, but she kept it running like a well-oiled machine.

  Since Sandra appeared to want an answer and didn’t look like she was going anywhere until she got it, Keegan nodded. “We’ll figure it out. There’s nothing to worry about.”

  Sandra’s eyes widened even farther. “Okay, that was the lamest bullshit I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth, Keegan.” Her hands went to her hips and Keegan sat a little straighter in his chair. “What the hell is going on? And don’t tell me nothing. I certainly know that’s not true.”

  “It’s…complicated.”

  “Son, life’s complicated. Did you two have a lovers’ spat?”

  Keegan sighed, knowing Sandra didn’t mean her question literally. She’d asked point blank when she’d taken the job if he and Erik were a couple. She’d quickly pointed out she wasn’t homophobic. She made it clear she believed everyone had a right to love whoever they wanted, so long as it wasn’t a kid or livestock. She only wanted to know because working with a couple was a completely different dynamic than working with two friends.

  “We’ve had a…disagreement. I’m sure we’ll be able to work it out.”

  “You know your Irish comes out when you’re lying. Surefire tell, kid.”

  He grimaced before he could hide it. Sandra, of course, saw it. Turning, she shut the door behind her then sat in the chair opposite him.

  “Now, you want to tell me what’s really on your mind? You know I don’t blab and you both looked like you got kicked in the nuts this past week. I’m cracking you first because you’re easier but I’ll be going after Erik next. Now spill. I don’t like to see my guys bleed.”

  Keegan thought it over for barely a second. Sandra had worked with them for more than five years. She knew them almost as well as she knew her own children, and he trusted her implicitly.

  “We’ve been seeing a woman.”

  She barely batted an eye. “We? As in, you’re both seeing the same woman?”

  “Yes.”

  A pause. “At the same time.”

  That wasn’t a question but he nodded anyway.

  “And how’s that working out for you?”

  Sighing, he shoved a hand through his hair. “It was working fine until about a week ago. Or so I thought.”

  Now her eyebrows lifted. “Seems to me it wouldn’t work at all, but knowing how connected you two are… Maybe you want to walk me through what happened.”

  So he did, laying it all out for her.

  At first, he couldn’t hide the blush that flooded his cheeks. He never talked to anyone but Erik about relationship stuff. Hell, even he and Erik didn’t talk much. They just barreled ahead and damned the consequences.

  But the more he talked, the easier it got. He and Erik often relied on Sandra to see things they didn’t, especially things that dealt with interaction between multiple parties.

  Of course, for Sandra, that sometimes involved knocking heads together, figuratively and literally.

  When he fina
lly finished, she cocked her head and looked at him for several long seconds. “So let me get this straight. You bribed this girl with half a million dollars to sleep with you and Erik. A girl who needed that money to pay for her sick mother’s hospital bills. A girl you knew couldn’t really say no.”

  He sucked in a sharp breath as her words slapped him. Every one of them was true. “Yes. We did.”

  “And when that night was over, what happened? Did you call her?”

  “No, I went to see her.”

  “You? Alone?”

  “Yes.”

  “And…?”

  “And we had sex.” He had to force the words from between his gritted teeth.

  Sandra sighed. “And after that?”

  “I left her. I fucking left her to deal.” Exploding to his feet, he began to pace. “I let Erik pick up the pieces with her, but when I walked in on them together… I was a total ass.”

  “And what did she do?”

  His turn to pause. And think. “She forgave me.”

  “And you and Erik have been, uh, dating her since then. And by date you mean actually taking her out and buying her dinner? Unless you’re using the word ‘date’ in a completely different way than I’m used to.”

  “No, Erik and I actually took her to dinner at Judy’s.”

  Sandra’s eyes widened in true surprise. “Erik went along? Actually went to the restaurant when other people were there?”

  “Yeah. I thought…”

  “You thought he was fixed.”

  Keegan grimaced. “No, not fixed. But maybe, just… Fuck, I don’t know.” He shoved a hand through his hair and yanked, letting his scalp burn. “Yeah, maybe I thought he was finally fixed.”

  “So this girl has some magical power to heal all of Erik’s wounds and fix your terminal case of the guilts?”

  “Shit. I know it sounds ridiculous. I’m not stupid. But I thought, maybe…”

  “He was starting to believe he could live again.” Sandra’s compassion bled through every word. “I get it, Keegan. Really, I do. And I’m encouraged to hear he actually went to the restaurant. Hell, I would’ve thrown a damn party if I’d known.”