The (sort of) Dark Mage (Waldo Rabbit)

by Nelson Chereta

  “Oh I’ve heard that before. There is no way you could afford the price.”

  “How much?”

  Elsa rolled her eyes. “One hundred pieces of gold, by coin or by weight.”

  “Fine.” He opened up his backpack and rummaged through it.

  Alice stood there certain she must have heard wrong.

  “What did you just say?” Elsa asked.

  Producing the leather purse his mother had given him, he opened it up and let all those beautiful coins spill out onto the bar.

  “One hundred pieces of gold, by coin.” He smiled eagerly at Alice. “You belong to me now.”

  She couldn’t believe it.

  He was literally giving up a fortune… for her.

  He was her hero, her savior…

  Her husband.

  “Darling!” In one easy move she leapt clear over the bar and landed at his side. She wrapped her arms about him and hugged him, mashing his face into her massive breasts. “I’m so happy!”

  Waldo’s arms jerked about. “You’re… crush… ing… me.”

  “Oh! Sorry!” She immediately let go of him. “I’m much stronger than I look.”

  He staggered and gasped for breath. She was really strong. He also noticed that she was also about a head taller than he was. “It’s fine. I’m glad you’re so robust.”

  He is so cute, she thought. “Normally darling, I don’t like being touched by men, but of course you can touch me as much as you want.” She put her hands together and twisted about girlishly. “Though, ah, could we wait a little while to have our wedding night? I’m sort of shy about those things, so could we hold off just for a while?”

  XXX

  Wedding night? What is she talking about? It wasn’t as though he was marrying her. He just assumed that was how the locals here referred to the first time being intimate with someone. She was certainly very beautiful and he had no problem believing lots of men wanted her. Waldo though was not worried about losing his virginity. He had much more important things on his mind. He still needed to acquire the other two Great Monsters and continue his quest.

  “That’s fine,” he assured her. “Like I said, I didn’t come here just to try and sleep with you.”

  “Do you really mean that darling? You don’t mind waiting?”

  “No, of course not.”

  XXX

  She sighed contentedly. He was just too perfect. He’d paid a fortune to free her and didn’t even demand a husband’s privileges. He was treating her with respect and care; the way you would treat a wife rather than a mistress. Now he was going to take her far away from this place.

  He was everything she’d dreamed of.

  Well except for him being an evil wizard, but then we all have our faults.

  Everyone knew that the people from the south were evil to the core. They were savages who murdered and stole almost from birth. She’d met some merchants and wagon drivers from the south; they had seemed no better or worse than the people who lived here. Alice had never met a Dark Mage before though, and her new husband certainly didn’t seem anything like the stories.

  When she really stopped to think about it maybe it was because he was a dark wizard that he was so accepting. No ordinary man would have been so generous and compassionate. There was no comparison at all between him and Sir Lancel. The knight would have spent money on her, but she would have been nothing more than his property. Alice was sure he spent plenty on his mounts and his armor as well.

  “I will definitely make you happy, you will never be sorry that you chose me.” Alice said.

  Rubbing his ribs he nodded. “I have no doubt.”

  “I am a good cook and can sew and take care of the home. I also promise to be a good mother to our children.”

  “Our children?” Waldo echoed sounding confused.

  Alice began to twist about again. “Let’s just take our time though, there’s no need to rush.”

  While all this had been going on Elsa had been counting out the coins. She bit a couple of them just to confirm they really were all gold. She also checked to make sure none of them were shaved. Most were ducats, but there were also denari, lions, and gleks mixed in. All the coins were minted to the standard weight, which was all that mattered to her.

  Elsa could find nothing to complain about.

  When she finished counting out all one hundred coins she quickly slid them into the small chest she kept behind the bar.

  “You belong to him now Alice.” Elsa announced. “Go gather up your things. It was a great pleasure doing business with you Sir Waldo. If you ever grow bored with her please feel free to come back and enjoy the services of our other girls.”

  “My proper title is, ‘Master’ not, ‘Sir.’” Waldo said. He turned back to Alice. “Now that you are mine we need to perform the ceremony that will bind you to me.”

  “Right now? Right here?”

  Waldo nodded. “I insist on it, I refuse to take any chances of you being parted from me.”

  Hearing him be so decisive and manly just made her want to melt. “Oh! Darling, is this the ceremony they perform in your country?”

  “Well yes, though as far as I know all mages use it, not just the ones from Alteroth.”

  “Then wait just one minute please!” She ran out the door.

  “Hey! Where are you going?”

  “Just one minute darling!”

  Outside the Inn Alice scanned the weeds clumped about the stony ground. She tore some of them up and then quickly ran back inside.

  “Here!” Alice pressed them into Waldo’s hands.

  He had half a dozen white and yellow plants. “What are these?”

  “Have you never seen daisies before?”

  “Well, yes, on my way here. I’ve seen a lot of different plants since I left Alter. Why are you giving them to me though?”

  “It’s so you can give them to me darling!”

  “You gave them to me so I could give them back to you?”

  “That’s right.”

  He closed his eyes and shook his head.

  “Very well, here.” He handed the daisies right back to her.

  Alice accepted the flowers from him. “Now please say what you said before.”

  “What I said before?”

  “What you said when you first saw me.”

  He stared at her dumbfounded. “You are making no sense at all.”

  “Oh please! I don’t mind performing your ceremony, but I’ve always dreamed of this so please let’s do it the proper way first!”

  “I have no idea what you are talking about, but if I do this you’ll let me perform the binding ritual without any more delays?”

  “You call it the binding ritual? That’s not very romantic.”

  “Romantic? It’s not meant to be romantic, it’s simply meant to bind you to me.”

  Alice was a little disappointed. Some people, particularly nobles, had that view of marriage. Overhearing Lancel talk to his men it was obvious he felt nothing at all for his wife. Waldo was also a nobleman, or something similar, so she supposed it was only to be expected he see it that way too. But calling a wedding a, ‘binding ritual’ seemed a bit much.

  “Please say it darling, it would mean so much to me if you would.”

  Waldo shrugged and took a moment to recall what it was he’d said. “I have come here to make you mine.”

  “I would gladly be yours.” Alice felt her knees grow weak and was trembling. It was really happening. All her dreams were coming true. “Please kiss me now, and I will be yours forever.”

  “Well that’s true.”

  He reached out and took the hand that was not holding the flowers. To make a contract it required they be in physical contact as he recited the spell. To Elsa the words were in the language of magic and completely incomprehensible. To Alice, who was being bound, they were clear as day.

  “Until the moment of my death, or the moment of your release, I bind you to me. Your life is one w
ith mine. You shall obey me and do me no harm. You shall answer my summons. You shall never be parted from me or be hidden from my sight. This is our contract.”

  He leaned forward and got up on his toes, he touched his lips to hers completing the spell.

  For both of them this was the very first kiss.

  To Waldo there was nothing at all emotional to it. He thought of it simply as a necessary component to performing a magical spell; no different than motioning your fingers or using some basalt or mandrake.

  Though he couldn’t help but notice that her lips were very soft.

  For Alice his kissing her represented a promise. That he was her husband and she was his wife. The words he had spoken were a little bit extreme and not at all loving. She supposed that was just how nobles did things. It was fine though, marrying a foreigner you had to accept strange ways. The important thing was that she was now properly married.

  When he touched his soft lips to hers she felt a flash of heat rush through her body from head to toes. All her strength left her and she actually fell on her butt right in front of him.

  Sitting on the floor she looked up at her new husband in amazement. “I… I never knew a kiss could be so amazing darling!”

  “Well it’s done now.” He held a hand out to her. “You’re mine.”

  Blushing she took it and got back up to her feet. “Yes I am darling. I’m your wife!”

  “Huh?”

  XXX

  Outside the Inn, on the other side of the foot bridge, a crowd had gathered and waited for Waldo to come out.

  Chapter 7

  The Wrong Thing To Say

  “Yes I am darling. I’m your wife!”

  “Huh?”

  “So where will we be going? Will I get to meet your family? How many children do you want to have? There is so much about you I want to find out!”

  “Wait! Wait! What are you talking about?”

  “I just want to find out what you plan for us. Not that it matters; now that we are wed I’ll be by your side no matter what.”

  “I believe there’s been a misunderstanding here. You are my servant, my familiar, not my wife.”

  Alice frowned. “That’s not very nice. I don’t know how things are in your country, but here you don’t treat your wife that way. Calling me a servant is just plain rude.”

  “You are not my wife.” Waldo told her flatly.

  Alice tilted her head slightly. “You change your mind quickly. You’ve married me, before gods and men. Marriages are until death, so even if you decide different you can’t unmarry me.”

  “She’s right,” Elsa said from behind the bar. “Marriage is for life here, and just so we are clear, even if you decide you don’t want her I don’t give refunds.”

  “I’m starting to get a headache.” Waldo muttered.

  “Would you like me to massage your temples darling?”

  He shook his head. It wasn’t as though she was trying to oppose him the way Enver did with his mother. She seemed willing to do whatever he asked. It was just her being confused about the situation. As her new master it was his responsibility to make her understand.

  “All right, obviously I’ve somehow failed to make things clear to you. The ritual I performed just now, the binding ritual, is just that. It binds you to me as master to servant.”

  “That’s a very cold way to see it darling. Even if you are from a lordly family, it’s very insulting.” She crossed her arms underneath her ample breasts. “Of course I’ll be happy to do things for you, and take care of you. It’s only proper that a wife care for her husband, but you can’t expect to treat me like hired help. I want to be loved and cared for. I definitely won’t put up with just being ordered around.”

  “Yes you will! It’s part of our contract; you have no choice but to obey me!”

  “You’ve obviously never been married before.” Elsa commented with a chuckle.

  “I am not married!”

  “Yes you are darling. We are twice married in fact, once your way and once mine.”

  “Huh?”

  “When you gave me the flowers and made your declaration, I accepted and then we kissed; in Lothas that is all that is required to wed.”

  “What? Don’t you at least need a priest or some sort of official?”

  Alice and Elsa shook their heads.

  “Cannassa, goddess of the home, family, and childbirth teaches that all a marriage requires is the willing heart of the man and woman.” Elsa said. “We are a practical folk here and we don’t worry too much about ceremony.”

  Alice nodded. “She is one of our twelve gods, and the only one who doesn’t have any temples or priests. She asks for no rituals or offerings, just for devotion.”

  How barbaric, Waldo thought. The Dark Powers had no temples or priests either, but they demanded offerings, not devotion. “So you’re telling me she and I are really married?”

  “That’s right,” Elsa confirmed.

  “Well that’s… interesting, but it doesn’t really matter.”

  “What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” Alice gasped. “How could it not?”

  “The important thing is that you are bound to me as my familiar. If I accidentally performed some other ceremony I wasn’t even aware of, so what?”

  XXX

  For a second Alice’s eyes tried to bulge out of their sockets. He didn’t think getting married was important?

  She did not understand. Less than ten minutes ago, he had stormed in here proclaiming that he wanted her. Wanted her in a pure and chaste way. He had handed over a fortune in gold to Elsa to free her and then performed not one, but two, wedding ceremonies Followed by a kiss that had literally brought her to her knees.

  Now he was pretending none of that had happened and that they weren’t married.

  “I don’t understand you at all.” Alice told him.

  He opened his mouth to say something but she continued giving him no chance.

  “But it’s all right. You are my hero and my rescuer and I… I like you.” Her cheeks blushes and she twisted about. “Even if you are strange and say rude things, I promise to stay at your side and take care of you. I can tell you are a very sweet and kind person. In time we will definitely love each other.”

  “You think I’m sweet and kind?”

  “I do!”

  “There is no reason for you to be insulting you know.”

  Alice’s mouth hung open for an instant. “It’s going to take me awhile to understand you isn’t it?”

  XXX

  Waldo stood there and just shook his head.

  She thought he was the strange one?

  When had he ever said a word about marriage or wanting her as a wife? From the start he’d made it clear that he wanted her because she was a powerful monster. She’d been the one to grab the flowers and trick him into performing some bizarre marriage rite.

  What she did not realize, was that as a member of the Corpselover main family he could not take a wife without the approval of the head of the clan. Until, or unless, his mother acknowledged the union he was not married under Alterothan law. What the locals here believed didn’t matter to him in the least.

  Now that he knew what she was talking about he stopped and really examined her. Physically, Alice was a stunning; no man could possibly have any complaints there. Her being so much taller than he was, was a bit annoying but not a real issue, neither was the fact she was clearly older. As he’d said, he did not have any aversion to being intimate with a non-human. While it was much more common to have them as lovers, it was not completely unheard of for someone in the seven families to actually marry one; particularly among the Blooddrinkers. He even found her wish to delay being intimate rather appealing. (He was used to having the pretty slaves offer themselves to him in hopes of gaining his favor.) Despite her weird ideas she certainly sounded eager to take care of him.

  He didn’t find the thought of her being his wife distasteful; it was just inconvenient.<
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  All that mattered was completing the conditions of the quest and eventually returning home. Alice was the first, and most important, step in that. With her help he could acquire the other two Great Monsters. What he needed was for her to behave like a proper familiar.