As I made my way up the flight of stairs, I started questioning myself. What if he’d changed his mind? What if he wasn’t even there? What if he’d instead decided to go to bed?
In spite of my shaking hands and numbing toes, I continued the journey, and I made myself knock on the door before I changed my mind. But as I stood there and the seconds dragged on, I started chickening out. I felt my heart speed up again, like a drum at a thrash concert, and I decided if he wasn’t at the door in ten more seconds, I was outta there.
But then I heard the lock turn, and my heart started fluttering again.
He opened the door. Holy shit. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. Why the fuck had I never seen him without a shirt? Jesus Christ. He was gorgeous…rock hard and tight and tattooed all over. Pierced nipples too.
Okay, so, I was nervous as hell but no longer did I regret my decision. I know my eyes scoured him and I’m pretty sure my pupils got bigger. I don’t think my jaw actually dropped but it might have. I do know I lost every thought in my head…every real thought, that is.
He smiled at me, and if he had noticed, he wasn’t giving it away. “Well, hello, Valerie. What a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?”
I swallowed and found a reserve of courage. When I was able to make my lips move, I said, “Actually, I’m here to see Jet.”
He blinked but didn’t miss a beat. He pulled the door open and stood back. “Please…come in.” I made my feet start moving again and walked in his room all the way. Then he closed the door and stood next to me. “Can I get you something to drink or…?”
“Thanks, but there’s only one thing I want.” Wow. I said that?
And thank heavens he didn’t need any more encouragement. He placed his hands on my cheeks and pulled me into a kiss.
Okay…so Jet’s kiss was unlike any other I’d ever experienced before. It was hot and slow and breathtaking. And his snake bites…Jesus. The metal touching my skin was cooler than his hot lips and the contrast was sensuous. It brought me back to the first time I’d been with Ethan, how my mind couldn’t keep up with all the sensations. These different feelings were arousing me quickly.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and splayed my hands on his lower back. Shit. He was literally hot, and he was hard as a rock. His muscles were tight and firm, and he felt absolutely incredible. But his kisses…smoking. He was slow and deliberate. If he was in a hurry or hornier than hell, I couldn’t tell. It was like he had all fucking night, and he was going to enjoy every second.
Lucky me.
And then he moved his lips to my neck, and it was sensual all over again. The cool metal along with his warm lips made me feel insane. My panties were already wet, my muscles taut. This had been the best decision I’d made during this entire trip. A rush of air pushed through my throat out my mouth and to my ears it sounded not like a gasp, but a cry, like I was hungry, desperate. And I guess I was. But as he moved his hands down, he didn’t touch a thing…not yet. I felt as though I were his last meal, and he planned to savor me. Every last square inch. I can’t tell you what that did to me. It was like the entire experience was brand new.
And, really, it was. I’d only ever been with Ethan, so I had only one person to compare Clay…er…Jet to. And while I wasn’t thinking it at the time, I didn’t think the comparison would be fair. Clay had had lots more time to perfect his techniques.
But he was sober too. I was sure that also had a lot to do with it.
In the moment, though, I was trying to push Ethan out of my mind. This was not about Ethan. It was about me. It was about who I was and what I needed. What was it that Clay had said? That I had passions and desires? Yeah, I did, and I was just beginning to understand my deep needs, the ones that I’d denied myself for so long. Ethan (and Brad before that) had just started to awaken them. That was not the time to just leave me alone.
But I’d come to realize that Ethan was going to do what Ethan wanted to do, no matter what I had to say about it, and that was why I’d decided earlier that night that we were done. My heart couldn’t take Ethan anymore—his hot-and-cold nature, his callousness except when it suited him, his fucked up priorities. I couldn’t do it.
Should I have felt guilty about being with Jet before my break up was official? I didn’t think so, particularly because—somewhere deep in my gut—I knew Ethan was doing the same thing…or worse. Probably much worse.
Jet’s lips returned to mine, and I decided to take advantage of his lack of shirt. His body was beautiful, and I wanted to touch it. I felt just a little hair above his waistband…and a six pack. That was nice. The guys in my band were in shape, but they hadn’t worked on making themselves hardcore ripped. Jet had. But I couldn’t even pay attention to touching his skin because he was making me breathless. The way he kissed me made me feel like I was a well that he had to draw from, only every time he had to drink from it, I’d be knocked down from the sheer intensity alone.
My God. He was the best kisser ever.
I think he knew what he was doing to me too, which was why he was in no hurry. Either that or maybe he wanted to make sure I knew he was what I wanted. Whatever the case, after just being kissed like that, there’s no way I would have said no to him.
Somehow my fingers managed to continue their journey without my consciousness being fully involved. I found his pecs and his piercings and my fingers felt it all. And that’s when I felt his fingers on the bottom of my shirt. Was I ready?
Well, apparently my body was, because I not only raised my arms, I also felt behind my back, looking for the clasp on my bra. I saw his eyes. Jesus. He was intense. Yeah…this guy here. He wasn’t Clay. Clay was long gone, replaced by a sex machine, and he was all mine for the night. I saw a flash of a wicked smile pass over his face as he dropped my shirt to the floor and his hands joined mine to assist, but his mouth moved down to the flesh of my breasts not covered by the bra. And working my hands behind my back made me push out my breasts that much farther.
I got the stupid clasps undone and he took it from there, pulling it off in a quick motion. And then he touched my right breast, cupping it in his hands as though it were a precious gem, lapping at it until my breathing changed yet again. My toes curled inside my shoes and I shoved my fingers into his hair. I wanted him now, but I knew he was bound and determined to take his time.
I moaned again and he kissed down the side of my breast to my cleavage where he licked in swirls. God, that felt just as good or better. My fingers tightened their grip. I didn’t want to wait. I felt his fingers touch the top of my pants as he brought his lips back to mine and he said, “Now I know what the big deal was about.”
I didn’t know what he meant at first as his tongue found its way back in my mouth, but then I remembered he was talking about the incident he’d mentioned earlier, the one where lots of guys from bands (and their girlfriends) had seen me topless at my apartment. My breasts were a big deal?
If I hadn’t been so aroused, I might have laughed. But his mouth on mine was serious business, and I couldn’t help but respond. After he had my pants unzipped, he eased his fingers inside, and I could feel his warm hand on top of my panties.
Oh. I’d thought I was aroused before, but he sent me over the top. A year ago, I hadn’t even experienced sex, let alone an orgasm, but I was already becoming so tuned in with my body that I knew where to gauge myself in the process. Just thinking about it could get me feeling warm and kissing could get me closer. Foreplay wasn’t always necessary with me, and in this case it got me so close before he even had to try to get me off.
I let out another heavy sigh and he had to know what he was doing to me. My hands were on his back now, appreciating the musculature there. I felt his breath in my ear. “Last chance, Val. You want Clay or you want Jet?”
I smiled in spite of my feelings of desperation, and I could hear it in my voice. “Why? What’s the difference?”
“Clay would bother to take you to that bed over there, make sure you
were comfortable, relaxed, ready, kiss you longer.” He kissed my neck again and I gritted my teeth.
I already knew the answer, but I nipped at his neck. Oh, God, did he taste good all over. I licked the bottom of his earlobe. “And Jet?”
He shoved his fingers inside my panties and found me, throbbing and desperate. “He takes you right here, right now.”
“I think you know what I want.”
Oh, fuck. I don’t know to this day if I actually said it out loud or just thought it, but I came right that second with just his fingers barely starting to swirl that little nub. My back was up against the wall and somehow I’d wrapped my leg around his, so he had no problem squeezing in there. And what the fuck was he doing? Jesus Christ. The words streaming out of my mouth…they were unholy, desperate, pleading, and nasty. Nasty as hell.
I thought I really liked Jet.
A lot.
As I struggled to catch my breath up against the wall, he said in my ear, “You good, baby?”
My voice was throaty. “If by good you mean I’ve died and gone to heaven, then yeah. I’m better than ever.”
I felt his breath against my neck as he chuckled but he took a few seconds before removing his hand from my panties. He reached into his wallet, and I knew it was time for round two. I’d just had an incredible orgasm and yet I was primed and ready. I knew my body well enough already to know that I had a few waves left. So I shimmied my pants down my hips to my knees while he pulled down…
Oh, my fucking God. His cock was
huge.
I swallowed. Yeah, okay, so I was only comparing him to Ethan but shit.
And I couldn’t help myself. Fuck the pants.
“Well, hello there.” I grabbed him, my hands wanting to explore his unfamiliar girth. I stroked him up and down and touched the tip with my finger. He was already oozing, and I swirled the liquid into the head with my thumb, rubbing him as I imagined he had me. I could tell he liked it by the twinkle in his eyes. His jaw was tense as he held that condom at the ready, patiently waiting for me to finish playing.
Like it was an effort. His only effort was not losing his load too soon.
His lips slammed into mine, and he assaulted me with another deep kiss, taking my breath away once more. I think it was a distraction technique. It worked. He started pulling the condom on, and I once again focused on getting those damned tight pants down. Then I realized I wouldn’t be able to wrap around him like I wanted unless I got them off all the way, so I fumbled around, pulling the right leg down. I had to take the shoe off, and by the time I had the pant leg off, he was ready to go.
Who was I to argue?
He kissed me again, and his tongue invaded my mouth just as his cock found the warm, throbbing confines of my pussy. “Ohhhhh…” Yeah. Just as I’d suspected. Here came the next wave of my orgasm, and my God, did he fill me up. “Oh, fuck. Oh, God. Oh, Clay…” I didn’t call him Jet, and I don’t think he gave a shit at that point because he was near the end of his rope too. My fingers were digging into his back as though he were my only lifeline, and I couldn’t stop it. He slammed into me with the force of a dozen horses, and his eyes…they were wild. I clenched my legs around him when I realized he was holding me up against the wall.
When he finished, he rested his lips on my shoulder, and I felt his hot breath against my skin. My nipples got pebbly again in spite of the fact that I was satiated beyond belief. He kissed my neck and then, after what seemed like several minutes, he gently pulled out and set me on the floor as I unwrapped my legs from around him so I could stand.
Even his act of withdrawing gave me chills and made me suspect I could go one more time.
But I was exhausted, and my legs felt wobbly. It had been a long couple of days already and his fucking was…well, athletic might be a good word. No, no…that was rock star fucking. Up against a wall, fast but incredible.
He brought his hand to under my chin, urging me to look up in his eyes. “How was that?”
I smiled, feeling shy all of a sudden. “You couldn’t tell?”
He grinned back. “I’d like to think I’m all that, but I want to make sure.”
“Let’s just say I think I’m having an out-of-body experience now.”
He laughed and kissed me again. “You called me Clay, so I think maybe you want to be snuggled.” He took me by the hand and led me to the bed.
Oh…if that wasn’t sweet.
And at some point, I fell asleep. Fast asleep…and dreamed of nothing.
* * *
That was nice. Wow. Waking up in Clay’s arms was sweet and touching. And he was running his hand over my hair. He must have gotten up during the night, because the air conditioner was on. It was cool and being under the blanket wasn’t uncomfortable. He must have seen my eyes flutter. “How’d you sleep?”
“Pretty well, I think. What time is it?”
“Around ten. Guys want to leave at noon. It’ll take us three hours to get to the next venue.”
I nodded and felt his lips on my neck. “So I guess we have just a little time for a shower and breakfast.”
“I was kinda hoping you’d want to meet Clay this time.”
I giggled and considered it. “I haven’t brushed my teeth. I’m thinking I need to stick with Jet for a while. He doesn’t need to kiss me, right? And I’m already easy to access…”
“My God, woman, I love the way your mind works.” And I felt him grow hard right behind me, as though just my words had been all he’d needed to hear. He kissed the back of my neck and touched my breast. I sucked in a deep breath, not having realized how desperate I had again grown for his touch. But he paused and I realized he was sliding on a condom. That made me feel better too, that he wasn’t like Ethan in that regard. Ethan was sloppy with his sexual habits more often than not, and just worrying about it would impede any orgasm I might have built up to.
Clay then began nipping at my neck as he wormed his arm underneath my rib cage to touch my other breast. His other hand he slid up my neck and then he stuck two of his fingers in my mouth. As though it were the most natural thing in the world for me to do, I sucked on them. He let out a small groan and slid inside me, filling me up again, but then those fingers…oh, what he did with those wet fingers. He was too good at manipulating my clitoris and in no time he had me moaning again, issuing all manner of filth from my once innocent mouth. My mind was transported somewhere else, because it didn’t seem to be with me anymore. And even after his fingers stopped rubbing me, my body continued to experience the pleasure his cock was giving me. I wrapped my arms around the back of my head and thrust my fingers into his hair. His lips were on my ear, his hands cupping both my breasts, now even easier to access. And my orgasm continued.
As I came down, I had two thoughts in my mind. The first was I could get used to this. The other was Holy shit—could I survive this?
I only knew one thing: I was willing to give it a try.
Chapter Thirty
CLAY AND I took a long shower together after, and I made sure I brushed my teeth with my finger so I wouldn’t feel weird about kissing him. Then he ordered up some breakfast, and I didn’t realize it until the food was there that I was ravenous.
Before I left, he pressed me against the door and kissed me with one of his slow, pondering, thoughtful, toe-curling kisses. Yeah, I could definitely get used to this. It had been nice being held all night. I felt special, truly special, and Ethan hadn’t mastered how to do that. Clay, though…it seemed to be second nature for him.
He was still holding me when he asked, “So…do I have to be a secret boyfriend too? Is that how this works?”
Whoa…that hit me in the gut. First off…that he was already ready to take that step, to commit to me in a way like that, something that Ethan had always seemed hesitant to do…that thought almost winded me. And then it made me realize that this man had a pretty sensitive side. He needed my validation, needed to know I cared. So I held him tightly and kissed him back
and then said, “You’ll only be secret for a while. But by the time we get to the next stop, no secrets. I just need to break the news to Ethan.”
He got a look on his face that was pure Jet. “I can tell him for you.”
I smiled. “Thanks, but…I need to do this.”
“I know.” God…one last soul-wrenching kiss. He was killing me.
I walked to my room, a spring in my step, and as I turned the corner down the hallway to walk into the elevator, I looked back. He was still standing outside his door watching me. I smiled and waved, then giggled and finished my trek to the elevator.
I was dying to change clothes. I had my panties tucked in my pocket. I didn’t so much mind wearing the rest of the clothes after showering, but just the idea of putting the panties back on grossed me out, especially after I’d been so wet the night before.
I was soaring so high when I stepped out of the elevator on the second floor to make my way to my room. I pulled the key card out of my other pocket and swiped it in the reader. The little light turned green, and I heard the familiar click that told me I could enter.
I don’t know why I’d expected the room to be empty. Probably because that’s what I’d been used to.
But there was Ethan. He was packing a bag.
And then I realized my hair was still damp. I wondered how long he’d been there.
“You didn’t sleep here last night?” Well, that made me feel a little better that he was unsure, but he wasn’t a dummy. The beds were made, untouched, in pristine condition. And I needed to talk to him anyway. No better time than the present.
“Ethan…I need to tell you something.” I waited for him to look back up at me. “I’m breaking up with you…if that’s what you’d call it.”
I saw a flash light up his eyes…that glint, that chip he carried with him everywhere that he tried to hide. “What do you mean if that’s what I’d call it? What the fuck does that mean, Val?”
“That means that we’ve never been official, Ethan. But make no mistake. We’re over.”
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