The Legacy

by ADAMS, J.

  I relish the feel of his gentle hands on my face and in my hair. And as he pulls me firmly against him, the love and longing that surges through me makes me weak with a great and terrible yearning that is beyond words.

  Adagio is drowning in delirium as Cisely's softness and warmth consume his every sense. He can't hold her close enough, can't kiss her enough. Each kiss and each moment in her arms only fuels his burning need for her. It's as if he will die if he waits any longer to make love to her.

  Drawing back, he stands, lifting her in his arms. Their gazes are locked as he carries her into the house, their eyes convey to each other that no more words are needed.

  When we finally arrive home, we are showered with hugs, and we in turn shower our children with gifts. Phillip, in particular, has missed us greatly. From the day I was released from the hospital, he has stayed close to me, and it had been hard for him to see us leave.

  Adagio and I are grateful for the time away, but we are happy to be back with our family. And though we know we will have many more vacations alone in the future, this particular one will always be especially treasured.

  Mali returns the next summer for two months and we are thrilled to have her back. Emotionally she is still healing but doing much better, and I watch the bond between her and Phillip grow even stronger. Wendy joins her daughter for the last two weeks and we have a marvelous time.

  Once again, Phillip is sad to see Mali go, but there will be another summer, and the promise he made to Mali last year will stay in his heart, never letting him forget her part in his life, or his goal to have her share his future.

  I have held the hope in my heart for some time that my son would follow in my footsteps. All of our children are striving to live good lives, and they make me proud. But watching Phillip is truly like viewing my younger self, only he has grown into a better man than me. I cannot ask for more than that.

  Adagio St. John’s journal

  Ninety-five

  Ten years later After checking off everything he needs, Phillip places his neatly folded clothes in the large suitcase, adding the toiletry bag last. Having finished, he looks over his list once more and smiles, musing over how much he has taken after his mother. She makes lists for everything and he finds he has adopted the habit as well because he hates forgetting anything. When he is sure he has everything he needs, he sits on the edge of the bed and stares out his window down into the front courtyard, pondering with irony what he is about to do.

  He was fifteen the last time he saw Mali, and sixteen when he received her last letter. That was the year he was told by her mother that she left home and married a guy she knew in school who graduated that year. With that news came a sorrow that crushed his world.

  Thanks to a lot of inspired wisdom from countless conversations with his parents, he was able to bury the pain and get past the heartache, but deep down, it never completely went away. Mali’s choice to marry someone else caused him a pain unlike anything he’d ever experienced, but he couldn’t let her go. He was still young, but he couldn't get her out of his heart.

  Then two years ago his mother received a call from Wendy. She told Cisely Mali had been in a car accident the week before. Mali’s husband had been driving while intoxicated and crashed into a large tree. Neither of them suffered any major injuries, but a piece of glass from the shattered windshield had sliced into Mali’s face, leaving a large scar going down the side of her cheek. Because her face was scarred and she was no longer perfect to her husband, he quickly decided he didn’t love her anymore and soon left her for someone else. Mali then moved back in with her mother. A month later Wendy called Cisely and told her Mali’s divorce was final.

  Closing his eyes, he ponders what Mali had gone through, unable to imagine her pain. He had wanted so much to go to her when he first learned of the accident but decided letters would be better, especially when her emotions were still so raw. If he had gone to her, he wouldn’t have been able to leave. He knew he wouldn't. Instead of helping, he might have just made things worse. Besides, he got the impression that she didn't want to see him.

  He started writing Mali weekly and was discouraged when there was no response. Nevertheless, he continued to write. Every day for a year, he searched his mail, hoping for a letter from her, but there never was. Yet his letters were never returned. He also emailed her twice a week, but she never answered. He wished he could shut his feelings off. He had tried to give up the dream he’d kept locked inside since childhood, but his heart couldn’t give her up.

  Even now with everything that has happened, he knows with every fiber of his being he and Mali are meant to be together. Every desire in his heart is centered around her, and he is driven to make this trip. Just as his mother owns his father’s heart, Mali owns his. She claimed it when they were twelve, and he's never desired to have it back.

  Sighing, he zips the suitcase shut. He doesn’t know what the outcome of this trip will be, he just knows he must to go to her. Everything else is in God’s hands. He is moving the suitcase next to his bedroom door when his mother enters.

  “Do you have everything?”

  “I think so. No, correction, I know so,” he says, holding up his list for her to see. He chuckles at her soft noise of approval.

  Watching his mother scan his bedroom, he can guess her thoughts. There is a great deal of his personality in the room. Two walls are lined with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. On the other two hang framed photos of his family. A cushioned bench sits beneath the large window and a thick, beige down comforter covers the bed. His desk is topped with a stacks of books. The ambiance is very cozy.

  “I’m sure the house will probably need a bit of dusting when you get there.”

  “Probably,” he agrees with a smile. “But don’t worry, Mama, I will take care of it.”

  “Are you sure you want to stay in that big place alone? You could probably stay in a cozy room somewhere.”

  “I don’t mind being there alone. I love the memories we made there, before Jessica died and after. Besides, I'll feel closer to you and Papa.”

  She touches his face. “I know it's only for a month, but I will still miss you.”

  He smiles, embracing her. “I will miss you too. But I will be back before you know it, and hopefully not alone.”

  Drawing back, I look into his eyes, meeting the emerald gaze that is so like his father’s. To me, looking at him truly is like looking at a slightly tanned, younger version of Adagio. “Are you sure a month will be long enough?” I ask him.

  “All I can do is hope.” He pauses, and I know he is remembering his conversation with Wendy last week. He had shared details of the call with me.

  Wendy told him how withdrawn and self conscious Mali has become. She spends her days working in the stock room at the boutique, hiding her face from customers. Wendy also told him Mali said she doesn’t want to see him, despite the energy her mother exerted trying to talk her into it. Phillip spent close to an hour talking with Wendy about Mali and his feelings for her. Wendy is sure Mali still has feelings for him as well, but her daughter has become too afraid to trust anymore. Of course, neither of them can blame her since her father had also abandoned them for someone else years ago. Phillip let Wendy know he is coming and asked her not to tell Mali. She was only too happy to keep his secret, hoping he will be able to get through to her daughter.

  “I have to believe,” he finally says.

  “Your father and I will keep you both in our thoughts. We really think she is meant to be a part of our family.” Phillip squeezes my hand. “Sometimes I think I could live

  on your faith and be fine, because it is so strong.”

  I chuckle softly. “Oh, I have my moments, believe me.

  Sometimes I think I would be a lost cause if it wasn’t for your

  father. He keeps me steady.”

  As Phillip quietly looks at me for a moment, his face

  bears a mixture of emotions I can’t discern. He squeezes my
/>
  hand, saying with emotion and strength, “I want what you and

  Papa have.”

  “You already have it,” I say, pressing a hand over his

  heart. “Right here. You always have. Like your father, you have

  perfect love.” I pause a moment, allowing my gaze to roam

  over his handsome features. “I remember a conversation you

  and I had when we came back home after the ordeal with my

  aunt. I was sitting out on the veranda one day thinking about

  what we had gone through, and you came out and sat next to

  me. You placed your hand on my stomach and quietly sat,

  enjoying the feel of Ian and Isabelle moving around. After a

  few moments, you asked me something. Do you remember

  what it was?”

  Phillip smiles somewhat sadly. “Yes, I do. I asked you if

  you and Papa were still mad at Gladys. You told me you

  weren't.”

  I nod. “We really weren't, because we had to forgive her

  and let it go. It was hard, but we had no choice.” I squeeze his

  hand. “Do you remember what you said to me?”

  “Kind of, but I'm sure you remember exactly what I said,

  don't you? You never forget anything, especially anything

  pertaining to the family.”

  “I do remember,” I say softly. “You said you were glad

  we were not still angry with her because there was still good in

  her, and she only acted that way because she had forgotten how

  to be good.” I touch his face. “In that moment I knew the kind

  of man you would be. At almost six years old, you retaught me

  what I already knew but still struggled with from time to time. I

  never struggled with it again after that.” Sighing, I place my

  hand over his heart again. “So you see, you already have

  everything you need right here, just like your father. I think you

  were both born with the ability to love unconditionally.” Phillip looks down, swallowing hard. “You give me more

  credit than I deserve, Mama. I mean, I still have my moments.” “Oh, I know you do,” I agree with a chuckle. “Honey,

  look at me.” I touch is chin and he raises his eyes to mine. “I

  know you're not perfect and I'm not trying to put you on a

  pedestal. I'm just telling you what I've observed. Throughout

  your life, you have been able to get along with everyone, and

  you have handled every situation you've been faced with well.

  Your brothers and sister are like that, too, but you have always

  been especially strong.”

  “I try,” he says humbly.

  “I know, and I can't ask for more than that. I know that

  characteristic about you will never change. That is why I know

  Mali will finally see into this heart she unknowingly claimed

  years ago. When she does, she will know what real love is.” Phillip embraces me, pressing a kiss into my hair. “I long

  for that as well.” He draws back, touching my face. “Thank

  you, Mama, for everything.”

  “Thank you for making me so proud.”

  “I second that,” Adagio says, standing in the doorway,

  surprising us both.

  Phillip smiles as his father joins them, putting an arm around his shoulders. He watches his mother gaze at his father before reaching out and softly brushing her hand back through the graying waves. His father smiles, taking her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm.

  Witnessing these displays of affection between them each day makes Phillip marvel and know of a surety that unconditional love never fades but continues to grow stronger with each passing day. He supposes that is why he's never been able to get over Mali. He continues to watch his parents. With one look, their eyes convey a thousand words.

  “I only have one request for you, son,” Adagio says, turning to him with feigned sternness.

  “And just what would that request be?” Phillip asks with equally feigned seriousness.

  His father grins boyishly. “Don't come back here without her.”

  “You can count on it.”

  “I’m glad you will be spending some time with Ingo and his family,” his mother says with a sigh.

  “I am too. It's been a long time.” He reflects on his brother's decision to leave Italy.

  Ingo met his spouse while attending Arizona State University and they decided to make their home in Phoenix. Ingo and his wife, Erika, have a six month old baby girl. The whole family went to see them a few weeks after she was born. Ingo had grinned proudly when everyone declared Beth looked exactly like him. He and his family came back to Italy for Christmas last year and try to visit whenever they can, but his parents still miss them. School and work take up a lot of Ingo's time, so he's unable to come back home as often as he would like.

  “Well, hopefully there will be a wedding sometime in the near future and we can get them back here for that,” Adagio says.

  “Amen to that,” Cisely agrees, putting her arm around her husband’s waist and they laugh.

  “Well, I promise you both I will do my best,” Phillip assures them.

  Adding a sprig of parsley and a lemon wedge to the two seafood platters he’d just prepared, Phillip places them in the steel pickup window under the heating lamps. He taps the bell, feeling a familiar sense of satisfaction that comes whenever he masters another of his father’s popular dishes.

  Phillip’s love for cooking developed at an early age and has grown steadily through the years. He spent countless hours learning everything he could from his father. By the time he was sixteen, his culinary skills were exceptional. Then two years later, Adagio made him a chef in the restaurant. His father frequently tells him how proud he is, and Phillip cherishes every opportunity he gets to work side by side with him. In Phillip's opinion, he has learned from and is working with the best.

  Ian and Isabelle’s playful bantering draws him from his thoughts. His sixteen-year-old siblings help out in the restaurant for a few hours two days a week, and they both work longer shifts on Saturdays. Ian buses tables and Isabelle hostesses. Phillip smiles at the two as they wave, thinking how valuable their family's work ethic is. His parents have always taught them to work for what they want and not expect anything to be handed to them. He will always be grateful for that lesson. It makes him want to work hard for everything he desires in life.

  Including a life with the woman I love.

  By the end of the evening after the restaurant is closed and the kitchen is in perfect order, Phillip sits at one of the tables in the silent dining area. Pulling off his chef's hat, he rakes his fingers back through his hair and heaves a tired sigh as his mind drifts to tomorrow and what it will bring. This is the first time in his life he’s ever lived for that word.

  Tomorrow. The beginning of my future.

  Salk Lake City, Utah

  As the afternoon sun raises the temperature considerably, Mali shifts in the cushioned chair on their covered patio, making herself more comfortable. Combing her fingers back through her shoulder-length, layered black hair, she closes her eyes and ponders the turn her life has taken.

  Once upon a time she had great hopes for her future, but due to a series of turns, some of which occurred because of poor choices, she is convinced her life is basically washed up. At twenty-two, her life is a mess and her future will be as well. She will never understand how she could have been so naive when it came to men. But then again, if the guy whose name she took had been a real man, she wouldn’t be in this situation.

  But why should things be any different for me? she questions silently. After all, Dad did leave Mom for what he considered a more perfect version of a soul mate. And I am my mother’s daughter. What comes around goes around.

  Mali brushes a tea
r away as she thinks of Jake. From the beginning, he had said and done all the right things, and she had been convinced that marrying him was right. What a fool she was. Jake’s promise to love her forever was cut short the moment the broken windshield cut into her face.

  So much for promises. They are nothing more than words to her now.

  Closing her eyes against the stinging tears, another promise comes to mind. A promise spoken by a perfect boy and received by a not-good-enough girl. A promise entered into by two young people who had been innocent enough to believe in fairy tales, yet too naive to realize that fairy tales are like elusive dreams. No matter how much you believe in them, no matter how much you want them to come true, they simply will never be.

  Mali is smart enough now to know this.

  And no one will ever make me believe otherwise. Adagio lay awake, staring up at the faint moonlight shining on the ceiling over their bed, his thoughts traveling to their son. He's sure Phillip had probably experienced nervous anticipation throughout the day thinking about his trip tomorrow, and he understands. Wanting so badly for this to work out for Phillip, he can definitely imagine what he's feeling. Adagio knows what it is like to be consumed with love so strong for someone, your heart is literally driven to make the person who claimed it yours. He knows the feeling well.

  He thinks back to the day he realized he was in love with Cisely. The emotions that surged through him that day had been intensely deep. She was all he could think about. Even as he'd wrestled with his feelings, he'd known they were meant to be together, and the thought of actually making her his had been exciting and frightening. He had needed her in his life so much, yet the thought of her rejecting him was more than he could bear. In the end he had simply hoped for the best. And his prayers were answered with the gift of her love.

  Yes, Adagio understands what his son is going through, and he hopes all would be well for him and Mali. She is meant to be his daughter-in-law. He only hopes she will recognize and accept Phillip's love, and open her heart to him in return.

  Tightening his arms around his sleeping wife, Adagio presses his lips into her hair. Closing his eyes, he soaks in her warmth. He and Cisely have been blessed with a lot of years together, and he's treasured every moment through both good and bad times. He realizes he isn't getting any younger and the years are beginning to pass quickly. Focusing on the woman in his arms, his heart is again full of gratitude. She is his, his heart, his soul, and the love of his life. And she will always be.