Cursed Soul (Cursed, 4) (Cursed Series)

by t. h. snyder

  “I guess the only place for me to start is the beginning,” I utter while clenching my fists together. “I was born and raised right here in Alabama. My father was convicted of a felony shortly after I was born and my mother was a crack whore. The ways in which I grew up were horrid, a life I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It’s nothing I’d ever want to dwell on or relive, but fuck . . . it was what it was. Shortly after my eighteenth birthday, I skipped town leaving behind the memory of my father and my mother who . . . I don’t even know if she’s still alive. There was no love lost, no emotional attachment and no need for me to stay. I needed to get as far away from here as possible so I bought a one-way bus ticket to Miami. I figured it would be a new world, a new life, and a way for me to start over. When I got there, life was anything but ordinary. I needed to find work. The money I had saved up wasn’t much and I was staying in motels that made roach motels look luxurious. Fortunately, I got a job at a restaurant and was able to make some easy cash. One thing lead to another and I started spending time with some of the guys from work. I was young, stupid, and getting free beer. Life seemed to be perfect until I hurt my back and fell in love with a little white pill. It didn’t take me long to crave the relaxation, the peace and the freedom from pain. Days intertwined with the nights, I was floating through life on a constant high. One night a deal went down at Tim’s house. I was scared and wanted out so I left and didn’t look back. Trouble wasn’t something I needed to be a part of and I didn’t want to go to prison like my father. I kept myself clean for the most part and distanced myself from the guys. Everything seemed to be settling down until one day I overheard Tim getting the shit kicked out of him for stealing money from the boss he was dealing for on the side. I couldn’t sit back and watch. Tim had been there for me when I needed him and I had to intervene. That day, that moment in time, changed everything.”

  The memories of that day set my thoughts into frenzy. I start to pace ignoring everything around me. I can see everything so clearly as if it’s taking place right here in front of me. If for that one second I would have gone back into the kitchen. If I would have minded my own business and walked away . . . none of this would be happening. Feeling like the weight of the world is about to crush against my rib cage, I stop in my tracks and reach my hand for my chest. Pain begins to swell around my lungs as my breaths become shallow. A panic attack begins to consume me as beads of sweat form around my brow.

  “Cliff . . . Cliff!” I hear Etty’s voice calling out to me.

  I can’t respond. I can’t even turn to look in her direction. In seconds, she’s by my side along with Steve. I can sense them walking me over to the couch and helping me to sit down. The leather of the couch dips alongside me as I feel them both still by my side.

  “Breathe, buddy. Ash, please go get him some water,” Steve says.

  Before I can register how thirsty I really am, Ashley is standing in front of me with a glass of water. As I reach to grab it, I can’t help but notice my hands trembling.

  “Here you go, sweets, let me help you,” she says while placing the glass to my lips.

  Taking a few small sips, I lift my hand to let her know I’m good. The fast rhythm of my heart racing slows while I attempt to gain back control of my breaths.

  “You good, bro?” Dault asks.

  “Yeah, man, this shit is really starting to make me look like a pansy. I can’t fucking stand it.”

  “Dude, seriously, we all get them. You’re reliving a part of your past that isn’t the fondest of a memory. Take your time. We’re not going anywhere,” Linc responds.

  Taking a deep breath, he’s right. They may not be going anywhere right now, but who’s to say that they’ll want me to stay wants they know the rest . . . once they know the truth?

  Chapter 17

  “You don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to, Cliff,” Etty’s sweet voice chimes in.

  “She’s right you know. If this is too much, we can always finish later,” Jo says.

  I can’t help but smile. These ladies have a way of making the worst situations seem so much better. Their love and support is right here with me.

  “No, I’m good, ladies. Thank you, but I need to finish. I’m a big boy, I can do this.”

  Allowing my eyes to scan the room, I decide to stay where I’m sitting and keep going. There’s no need to prolong this any longer. Now all I need to do is keep my shit together until I get it all out there and in the open.

  “Okay, where was I . . . yeah, so the fight. I stepped in, stopped the fight and before I realized what I was offering, I was going to work for the Sabatino family.”

  “Shut the fuck up,” Jo squeals. “Shit, I’m sorry, Cliff. I didn’t mean to bark that out. I’m from Sarasota, not quite Miami but I’ve heard of them. I know—”

  “Yeah, I’m sure you’ve heard of them as well as anyone else who may have watched the news in the past hundred years. The Sabatino Family is the largest known drug ring within the country. They’re known for the large amounts of trade, exports, and crime that revolve around anyone who stands in their way. I was a part of that business family for years. In fact, I led one of their largest fleets of men and successfully transported billions of dollars in cocaine, heroin, and marijuana.”

  Pausing for a moment, I realize what it is that I’m actually saying. Instead of being regretful for my actions, it’s almost as though I’m boasting about the success I earned. The lump in my chest starts to climb back up my throat. Fisting my fingers within the palm of my hands, I release a groan of frustration.

  “I’m not proud of what I’ve done or who I was at that part of my life. Please, believe me when I say I know what I did was wrong. I thought I would go to work for Mr. Sabatino, ensure the money Tim stole was returned and get the fuck out . . . but it didn’t happen that way. As soon as Tim’s debt was covered, he took off. He fled the business, the state and honestly, I could give a flying fuck where he is today. I did a so-called friend a favor and he left me. I was alone and the only family I knew was the men I had working for me. Everything I once believed was wrong turned me into a different man. I became addicted to the rush of power I held. Everything I did turned in my favor. I was bringing in more money than any other man or woman working under Mr. Sabatino. I made enemies because of my skill, men who hated that I was leading the business in every way. It meant nothing to me yet I kept going until one day the business turned on me. I don’t know what happened, nor did I ever look back. All I remember was being at the drop location and finding myself surrounded by one of the other dealers, Raphael, and his men. Before I realized what was happening, I was tied up, thrown on the floor, and had the shit beaten out of me. Yet I still didn’t care. Every emotion I should have felt was numb. Nothing they could have done to me would hurt me. I refused to let Raphael know even though the pain of his shoe in my ribs was gutting me from within. After a few minutes or maybe even hours, Mr. Sabatino showed up saying something about me turning on him and wishing we were meeting under different circumstances. Everything from that point happened so fast. I was confused yet I couldn’t utter a word, I was in shock. Before I knew it, he had one of his right hand men pull a gun on me and shot me as the entire warehouse was invaded by the feds.”

  “Oh my God, Cliff! You were shot?” Etty screeches. “Were you okay . . . I mean are you okay now?”

  “Yes, I’m fine now . . . then, I can’t really recall what happened after I fell to the ground. The only thing I can remember is waking up in a hotel room, but I was alone. I don’t know how I got there, who was with me, or who cared for my wound. A million things ran through my mind once I woke up and being left alone I knew I only had one choice . . . one chance to break free for good. I ran back here to Alabama and never looked back. It was a sign, my chance to leave like Tim did and start over . . . again. It’s been years, no one has ever made me think I wasn’t safe or that someone was after me. I never thought they’d come here to find me. I guess I was wrong,�
� I finish, slouching into the couch and covering my head in my hands.

  Tears begin to fill my lids. I can’t hold back the pain of what I’m causing, there’s no use fighting it.

  “Shh, come here, you big lug . . . no crying. You did it. You told your story, shared your past and now we’re all here to help you make it right,” Etty says while wrapping her arms around me.

  “I don’t know if it can. If what’s been happening is because of me . . . I can’t risk them being here and one of you getting caught in the crossfire. I’m sorry for what I’ve done, I never meant for this to happen.”

  “Let me get this straight,” Dault’s voice booms through the room. “You were a high end drug dealer, got yourself shot and now the thugs are after you here in ‘Bama?”

  “Daulton, seriously,” Etty perks up.

  As she moves herself away from me, I can’t help but to look at Dault. His expression is emotionless. I can’t tell if he’s just pulling it all together or being a fucking prick.

  “I’m not looking to cause a fight, Etty. I’m reevaluating what Cliff just told us. Forgive me if I’m wrong here, but he had himself mixed up with some dangerous people who were then . . . and still areca huge part of a crime family and now serious shit is happening right here . . . outside my shop,”

  “Cool it, Dault, this shop is all of ours,” Steve replies standing to his feet.

  “It doesn’t matter whose shop this is so shut the fuck up all of you. Cliff just poured his heart and soul out to us. He needs us,” Ash states coming to my side.

  I feel like a fucking idiot. It was never my intention for this to cause an issue between the guys. I’m not expecting anyone to take a side here. This is my wrongdoing and I’ll be damned if the errors of my way cause the crew to fall apart.

  “Stop!” I shout moving to stand and raising my hands in the air. “This is my past and my battle. I won’t have my problems tearing up the crew or the shop. I’m sorry for what has happened. If I could go back in time and take it back, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right again, even if it means me having to leave town and make them chase me to another city. I will do what it takes to keep every single one of you safe.”

  Making my way toward the door, Linc steps in front of me stopping me from moving forward.

  “Listen, don’t do anything rash. This is a lot for all of us to digest, but no matter what I meant what I said earlier. I can’t speak for everyone, but I will for myself. You’re not just a random guy working into a tattoo shop. You’re my brother and my friend. Whatever you need, we will get through it together.”

  “I need answers. Before I can know for sure, I have to find out more details about the explosion and the break in. I’ve tried going to the station. I’ve done my own footwork around the scenes and all I get are more questions. It’s frustrating as all fuck not knowing and the worst part of it all is that I’m scared that one of you will get hurt because of me.”

  “Breathe, man. We can’t have you going back into panic mode. We need to think and to be quite honest, I gotta know . . . have you told the cops what you’ve just told us?” Linc asks, his brow raised.

  “No, the first people I told was Steve and Ash and now here with you guys.”

  “You need to clue them in, Cliff. I know having to tell this story over and over again is tiring, but you need to make sure the right people know. It may be an opening to the case that they’re missing.”

  “You’re right,” I respond.

  “It's going to be okay. We are all going to be okay,” Jo cheers as she walks over and wraps her arms around me. “I’m proud of you for coming out with all of that, mister. Just know that you are not alone . . . not ever.”

  “Thank you, Jo. It means a lot,” I respond pulling her into me for a hug.

  “Hey, hey . . . that’s enough loving for him. She is having my baby, so back off,” Linc states with a laugh.

  “What?” Everyone shouts in unison.

  Slowly I release my hold of Jo and take a step away to look at her. “Baby,” I mouth as a shocked response.

  “Mm hmm,” she nods with a giggle.

  Cheers, screams, and cries fill the open space. In the matter of only a few short seconds my heart goes from pure panic to instant joy as the crew pulls together to celebrate the news. As I give the mother and father to be hugs, I step back and watch as everyone else does the same. There is so much excitement and happiness filling the shop, I can’t help but smile.

  “Yeah, that was our . . . situation as I called it earlier. Jo has been feeling a bit off the last few days and when she told me she was late, we decided to go get a test. So . . . the reason we were late was because we’re just having a baby,” he says before pulling off his ball cap and running his fingers through his hair.

  “What do you mean you’re ‘just having a baby’? That’s some big fucking news, bro,” Steve remarks.

  “Yeah, I know. We are excited and need to get Jo to the doctor, but right now we also have some pressing issues to figure out here.”

  “Jo and your baby aren’t pressing enough?” Dault asks in an annoyed tone.

  “I’m not saying that. What I’m saying is Cliff needs our help. I will make sure Jo and my baby are safe and sound. As for Cliff, we need all of us to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse.”

  “Worse? He’s almost been blown up and his apartment has been torn to shreds. How much worse can it get?” Dault states raising his hands in the air while beginning to pace the room.

  “Honestly, they’ve attempt to go after him twice . . . next time they may actually succeed. I won’t let that happen. Cliff is a part of this family and I will do whatever I can to make sure this shit gets taken care of,” Linc says while looking in my direction.

  Reaching for a bottle of water on the front desk, I open the lid and take a long sip. As I turn to set it back down, I feel like I’ve been removed from the room. The voices of the crew are carrying over me. I can see their body language and their expressions, yet I can’t vocalize a word. My body is becoming numb and my eyes are getting heavy. I can’t . . . I can’t keep my eyes open. Attempting to reach for the counter, my fingertips slip off the edge. Everything goes black and I feel weightless as my body falls onto a pile of nothing onto the floor.

  Chapter 18

  In all of the excitement of Linc and Jo’s news, I think we all lost sight of why we were really here.

  Ugh, I feel awful even thinking otherwise. Shit, Etty, you’re being a bitch. Seriously though . . . I don’t want to downplay my happiness for Baby Minzotto, I’m totally stoked to become Auntie Etty . . . but there’s a lot we still need to sort out in order to help Cliff.

  Having him share everything he just did, it took a lot for him to break down those walls. My mind is still spinning. Cliff has always been quiet, reserved, and never wanted to be a part of the spotlight. To think he was basically a drug lord, I can’t even imagine what his life was like.

  Trying to think back through every detail of what he told us, I’m at a loss. I don’t know why these men would come back to find him after all this time. I mean, wouldn’t they have done that years ago? I don’t know much about crime families, but I do know the fear that stays with a person after running away from your past. I lived with that pain for a long time after I left and came here to ‘Bama. I was scared and worried that when I told Linc and Dault the truth that they would think differently of me. I can empathize to a point and understand the anxiety Cliff must have been feeling all this time. But now . . . now we know. Everything is out in the open and we can work together as a family to put a stop to whoever is after him.

  Wanting a moment to talk to him alone, I spot him sipping out of a water bottle over by the display case near the front desk. With a puzzled look, I continue to watch as his facial expression starts to change into that of panic. His body begins to sway, his hand reaching out and slipping off the counter. Before I can understand what is happening, my
eyes bulge from their sockets as I watch Cliff’s body fall to the ground.

  “Oh my God!” I scream jumping up off the couch.

  “Jesus Christ!” Steve’s voice shouts through the shop.

  My feet move me closer to Cliff as everything around me plays out in slow motion. Steve and Linc are on the ground by my side while I check Cliff’s pulse and to see whether or not he’s breathing.

  “Is he breathing?” Ash asks.

  “It so faint, I don’t know what happened,” I frantically respond.

  “This is a fucking mess. Didn’t we just say what else could go wrong?” Dault barks.

  “Dault, please, not now,” I scold.

  “Seriously, man, what the fuck has gotten into you?” Linc grits through is teeth.

  “Is he having another attack?” Jo asks.

  My mind begins to reel with a million possibilities what could be going on.

  Did he have another panic attack? Is it a heart attack? Does he have low blood sugar? Will he be okay?

  Good God almighty, there are too many questions and I don’t know his medical history enough to understand what’s going on.

  “Etty, talk to us, what do you know,” Steve pleads.

  “I don’t know anything. I can feel a pulse but it’s barely there. We need to get him to the emergency room now. Call 9-1-1, please,” I beg looking in Dault’s direction.

  Tears start to fall from my eyes. I don’t know what is happening, but he won’t wake up.

  “Come on, Cliff. We need you to wake up. Stay with us,” I plead resting my head on his chest.

  There’s nothing I can do, no way of knowing what could possibly be wrong. As I sit and wait with the rest of the crew, I close my eyes and recite a prayer hoping that Cliff will be okay.

  He has to be okay, there’s no other option.

  Chapter 19

  Sitting on the window bench, I allow my body to relax as I savor a delicious cup of coffee. As the steam floats over the rim of the mug, I close my eyes and let the heat of the sun warm my face.