Just Breathe

by Anna Leigh Keaton

  His hand settled over the left side of her chest. Over her scar. Over nothingness. “Does it hurt?”

  She shook her head, but then nodded. “I get some ghost pains occasionally, but not often. The doctor said it’s not abnormal.”

  “You can open your eyes, sweetheart. I’m still here, and I’m not screaming.”

  The humor in his voice bolstered her courage a bit. She opened her eyes and looked into his. There was no disgust on his face. Sympathy? Perhaps, a little. But it didn’t look like pity to her. She hoped it wasn’t pity.

  “It’s really not as bad as I thought it would be,” he said, and she was glad for his honesty. “I thought women who had their breasts removed got implants. A fake one, a built in prosthetic or something.”

  Looking down at herself, at his big hands covering her chest, she couldn’t stop the tears that filled her eyes or the tightness in her throat. He was touching her. After Randy’s abdication, and after seeing herself for the first time post-surgery, she’d been sure no man would ever touch her again. With the counseling she’d gone through, she knew that a lot of breast cancer survivors, some who’d had double mastectomies, often carried on normal romantic relationships. But she’d never believed she could ever again.

  She sniffed back her tears. “It is common to get implants, but I spent too long trying to get the cancer out of my body. I have a huge mental block about putting something back in.”

  Dex nodded. “Understandable.” He put his hand under her right breast and lifted it a bit, then he reached over on the bed and picked up the prosthetic and hefted it in his palm.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  He grinned. “I was seeing if they weigh the same. I’d think you’d feel a little lop-sided with one attached, and one not.”

  A startled giggle came out of her mouth, and all the tension built up inside her dissipated like smoke.

  Dex set the prosthetic back down on the bed and then wound his arms around her and held her snug against his chest. “You amaze me, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead. “After everything you’ve obviously been through, you’re still so sweet and warm and loving.”

  She started to shake her head, but he cupped the back of her head in his hand and held her snug against his shoulder. “Don’t argue with me. I see you. With the uncles, with the twins...with the way you’ve come into my house and tried to take care of me.”

  She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes closed, praying she wouldn’t start bawling. She didn’t want to cry, but he was just so...wonderful. And she loved him with all her heart.

  After placing another soft kiss on her forehead, he lifted her under her bottom and stood.

  She yelped and wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck. He chuckled.

  “Where are we going?” she asked as he headed for the door.

  “My room. I only had the one condom in my wallet, so we need more.” He stopped in the hallway, pressed her up against the wall, and captured her mouth in a hard, demanding kiss that stole her breath and sent waves of arousal coursing through her, making her tingle from head to toe.

  He pulled his mouth from hers. Breathing hard, he said, “And I need to get the smell of Jerald’s damn cigar smoke off of me.”

  She grinned. “It is a little distracting.”

  With a raised eyebrow and, holding her gaze, he rounded into his room and took her directly into the bath. After setting her down on the plush blue rug, he turned on the taps to the big whirlpool tub. “How about a soak?”

  She nodded. He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss before leaving the room. Across from her, she caught a glimpse of herself in the full-length mirror on the wall. She raised her hand and covered the left side of her chest. Her one remaining breast was small, not quite a B-cup, always had been.

  In her perspective, she’d stop growing and physically maturing at around age thirteen. She was skinny—scrawny. There was a slight curve to her hips, but that was about it. Her hair was short, messy. It had only been six months since it started growing back, and she’d been shocked when a lot of it was gray, so she dyed it her natural color of pale blonde.

  What the heck did Dex see in her? A thirty-five year old woman with one boob and no figure to speak of. Her mouth, he’d said?

  She grinned at her reflection and shook her head.

  Dex came back into the room carrying the baby monitor and a couple of condom packets. “I love it when you smile,” he said, dropped the condoms on the rim of the tub, and set the monitor on the counter by the sink. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her deep, his tongue sinking repeatedly into her mouth. Crystal clung to his shoulders and moaned when the lengthening of his erection pressed against her belly.

  “God,” he said as he lifted his head. “I could do you all night and not have enough.”

  Crystal laughed. “And you’re so romantic, too.”

  He nipped her shoulder. “I’m crazy about you, sweetheart.”

  She met his gaze and felt as if she were drowning. But in a good way. As if he was washing away years’ worth of hurt and betrayal. “I’m pretty crazy about you, too,” she admitted in a whisper.

  His grin was sweet and playful. “Sounds like the Mutual Admiration Society is called to order.” Without warning, he lifted her into his arms and deposited her in the bath. He turned off the taps, hit a button on the wall that set the water to foaming and roiling, and then climbed in behind her, pulling her onto his lap so her bottom nestled his solid, thick erection. Then he reached around her, dove his hands under the water, and ran a long, slick finger between her thighs.

  Crystal cried out at the pleasurable shock and gripped his arms. “Dex! What...?”

  He chuckled in her ear and nipped her shoulder again. “You’re so responsive.” His finger slid deep into her, withdrew, and then rubbed gentle circles around her hardened clit until she moaned.

  “Your little pants and noises drive me insane,” he said right next to her ear, sending shivers racing down her arms before he sucked her lobe between his teeth. “You taste so good.”

  “Please,” she groaned.

  His free hand closed over her breast, and he flicked her pebbled peak, making her jump in surprised shock at the sensations.

  “Let me feel you, hear you.”

  She sobbed as her muscles tightened as the pleasure his hands brought throbbed through her. Faster and faster. His long, hard cock pressed against her lower back, and she wanted him inside her, but she had no breath left to ask for it.

  “Come for me,” he whispered in little more than a growl.

  And just like that, the ecstasy exploded within her, and she cried out, arching against his hands.

  “That’s it, sweetheart,” he said in her ear as he continued stroking her, making the frissons of pleasure go on forever.

  She went limp in his arms, sucking in huge gulps of breath. “Oh. My.”

  He chuckled, and the sound rumbled all the way to her heart. He pushed up onto the rim of the tub, ripped open a condom package and sheathed himself, then slipped back into the water.

  Fast as lightning, he lifted her, turned her, and brought her down over him in one long, hard thrust.

  Her head fell back, and her sigh mingled with his.

  “Yeah,” he said as she rose up on her knees then sank back down.

  She gripped his shoulders. His hot, damp lips found her nipple and suckled. Her inner muscles contracted around him when only seconds before she was sure couldn’t take any more.

  He growled against her breast. She whimpered. Blood rushed to her face. Her fingers and toes tingled. His hands holding her waist guided her into a hard rhythm. She cried out when he gently bit down on her breast, and her entire body contracted.

  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she held him as tight as she could while he thrust into her a few more times. Then his arms tightened around her, he groaned low in his throat, and he pulsed within her.

  Burying he
r face against his neck, she drew in deep, shaky breaths. Tears stung her eyes, but she held them back. She never knew she’d find someone so...so...

  “You’re all tensed up, sweetheart. What’s wrong?” When he spoke, his deep voice rumbled against her chest.

  She let out a shaky laugh. She was being silly. She was only feeling this way because it had been so long since she’d been held in a man’s arms, since she felt the incredible surge of passion and lust and release...and love.

  “You still smell like cigars,” she said then settled against him, tucking her arms between them and cuddling close, her nose pressed against his neck, the hot water bubbling around them making her feel tired and over-relaxed.

  His big hands coasted up and down her spine. “Sorry.”

  She smiled then yawned. “It’s okay.”

  Cupping the back of her head, he kissed her forehead. “I’m glad you’re here, Crystal. I’m glad you came into our lives.”

  She sighed in contentment. Even if her love for him was never returned, she’d be forever grateful for showing her that not all men were as shallow-minded and hurtful as her ex.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Shit!”

  Crystal jumped at Dex’s curse and turned toward him from the stove where she was scrambling eggs. “What?”

  He glared at his coffee cup. “I burned my tongue.” He glanced at his watch. “Shit.”

  She chuckled. “It won’t be long ’til the munchkins start repeating what they hear. You might want to curb your tongue.”

  He frowned at her then bent over and kissed Ruby and Amber each on the forehead as they sat in their little chairs on the tabletop. “My girls will never say anything bad. They’re going to be perfect.”

  Crystal burst out laughing. “And you haven’t spent much time around children.”

  “I’ve got to go.” He took another sip of his coffee, made a face, then set the cup on the counter. “I should make it home for supper, but I’ve got a meeting downtown at three.”

  “Breakfast?”

  He shook his head. “Can’t wait, sweetheart.” He kissed her cheek and turned away, but then he turned back, wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her flush against his hard chest, and kissed her deep. “God. You taste good.”

  She smiled against his lips. For the past three days, Dex had been so loving. Always kissing and hugging and holding and... She sighed. She couldn’t ever remember being happier. “Toast.”

  He nibbled her bottom lip. “Hmm?”

  She pulled away with a grin, slipped the bread from the toaster, and buttered it in two quick swipes then made a quick sandwich with the eggs and wrapped a paper towel around the whole thing. “Here, take this, at least.”

  His smile was warm and gentle as he looked into her eyes. Shaking his head and leaning down to kiss her again, he said, “You’re too good to me.”

  Closing her eyes, she sank into the kiss. As long as he kept kissing her, she’d give him anything, do anything he wanted—even make him breakfast every morning for the rest of his life.

  “I have to go,” he whispered between nibbling kisses.

  She nodded and wound her arms around his neck. “I know.”

  He chuckled. “I don’t want to go now. I want to take you upstairs, strip that cute little dress off you, and have my way with you all day.”

  “Oh!” She pulled back. “I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. Would you mind if the uncles came over to watch the girls? I won’t be gone long.”

  “You okay? Why are you going to the doctor?”

  There was no mistaking the worry in his tone, and she smiled to reassure him. At the same time, her heart went soft and gooey at his caring. “It’s just a routine checkup. Don’t worry.” She grinned. “And then I thought we could have the uncles over for supper and a soak in the hot tub, if you don’t mind.”

  He hugged her hard. “It’s fine, sweetheart. Whatever you want. And between the three of them, I’m sure they can take care of the girls for a little while.” He kissed her again, hard, then pulled away. “I have to go now.”

  Amber let out a grouchy wail and flailed her little hands in the air.

  “Oops. Looks like I’m leaving just in time,” he said with a wink. He kissed the babies one more time, taking a tiny fist in the nose from Amber. “Mommy will make you all better,” he said then headed out the door for the garage.

  Crystal’s heart stuck in her throat, and for a minute she couldn’t move. Had she just heard what she thought she heard? Had he just referred to her as Mommy?

  Tears stung her eyes as joy surged through her. If he was calling her Mommy... Did that mean? Could it mean?

  She felt a little lightheaded for a moment as she stared at Ruby and Amber. “Mommy,” she whispered. Tears blurred her vision as she lifted a wailing Amber into her arms. She’d never thought anyone would ever call her Mommy.

  Amber quieted almost the instant Crystal held her against her shoulder. “That’s my girl,” she crooned as she patted her little diapered rump.

  Maybe it had just been a slip of the tongue. He was in a rush and wasn’t thinking.

  With the baby snuggled against her, the other one peacefully sleeping in her chair, Crystal decided she didn’t want to overanalyze it. She couldn’t. The relationship between her and Dex was too new, too precious, to start pushing for more. He cared for her, was obviously physically attracted to her, since he seemed insatiable in bed. She had to accept that as enough.

  “Damn,” she said when she smelled the leftover eggs burning.

  Cradling Amber in the crook of her arm, she used her other hand to take the pan off the stove and dump it in the sink. Then she giggled. “Don’t tell Dad I said that.”

  * * * * *

  “What the hell is this?” Uncle Charlie groused when Crystal put a plate in front of him.

  Dex grinned. He’d warned Crystal that the uncles wouldn’t be happy with her change in menu.

  Crystal kept a smile pasted on as she said, “Roasted chicken breast with rosemary and sage, green beans, and garlic mashed potatoes.”

  “Where’s the gravy?” Jerald asked, poking the browned chicken breast with his fork as if it were a dead rat.

  Dex struggled to keep his chuckle to himself.

  “Why are you doing this to us?” Charlie said, staring at his plate with a supreme look of disgust. “You said you were making chicken and potatoes. Fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy like we like. This looks...awful.”

  “Its not dry, Uncle. Try it.” Crystal took her seat next to Dex and sent the old men a mean frown.

  Dex picked up his fork and knife and cut into the chicken. It was juicy, and when he bit into it, he closed his eyes to savor the spices. “Wonderful,” he said and smiled at Crystal after he’d swallowed. “Every meal you cook is superb.” Without thinking, he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

  Crystal’s eyes went wide, and a pretty blush colored her cheeks. He glanced over and saw the uncles staring at them. Oops. He grinned.

  Uncle Charlie narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to say something, but Crystal cleared her throat.

  “It’s none of your business, Uncle.” She met each of the old men’s eyes in turn and then added, “Fried chicken is going to kill you, so we’re going to start eating healthier from now on. I’m not going to let any of you have a full-blown heart attack—which you’re all headed for, I’m sure—because I catered to your bad eating habits.”

  Jerald mumbled something under his breath but lifted his fork and scooped up some potatoes. Gus was smart enough to keep his mouth shut and started cutting his chicken into bite-sized pieces, but Charlie just couldn’t let it go.

  “I’m glad you finally slept with him. I thought I noticed a difference in you earlier, but now I can really see it.” He grinned, and his eyes nearly disappeared in his wrinkles. “Welcome to the family, son.”

  “Oh, for crying out loud,” Crystal murmured. “It’s not like we’re e
ngaged or anything.”

  No, they weren’t, Dex thought, but it sounded like a damn good idea to him. “Thank you, Uncle Charlie. And a fine family it is.” Dex scooped some potatoes onto his fork. “You really should try the chicken, it’s delicious.”

  Without another grumble, Charlie cut into his chicken and didn’t complain again.

  Crystal bumped his knee with hers. When he looked at her, she was smiling and blushing, her gorgeous eyes sparkling like a deep tropical lagoon. He reached under the table, laid his hand over her thigh, and gave it a squeeze. I can’t wait to get you alone, he thought as he gazed at her. I love your family, but I want you.

  Her blush deepened, as if she understood his thoughts, or perhaps it was only the way he looked at her that made her know what he wanted, and how much he wanted it.

  “Eat your food,” she whispered. “It’s getting cold.”

  He ran his palm up her thigh, and she sucked her breath in. She caught his hand just short of its mark and squeezed his fingers. He winked, and she blushed even deeper.

  Uncle Gus cleared his throat. “So, Dex, you’re planning to attend our annual Fourth of July block barbeque this year, aren’t you?”

  “He’s never come before, and he’s been living here for three years,” Jerald threw out.

  “Yeah, why have you ignored our invitations for so long?” Charlie asked.

  “I uh...” He sighed and cut another bite of chicken. “Yes, I’d love to come, and I’m sorry I’ve missed it before.”

  “He’s usually working on the holiday,” Crystal said, obviously defending him.

  Gus grunted. “Can’t work all the time. Family comes first, now, son. You best remember that.”

  “Yes, sir,” he answered with a grin. The whole thought of family was definitely growing on him. Ruby, Amber, Crystal, the grumpy uncles who turned into big marshmallows when they held the babies. God, he missed his sister.

  He laid his arm across the back of Crystal’s chair and fiddled with the short strands of hair at her nape. “I’m beginning to see just how important family can be.”