Lily in Bloom

by Tammy Andresen

  Just as she was about to crawl out, she heard a voice that stopped her cold.

  “Is Mr. Sampson alone?” She heard Rings' voice clearly through the door.

  “Do you know Mr. Sampson?” Mrs. Embry asked.

  “We have a mutual friend. I hoped that our friend had arrived.” Rings was clearly on his best behavior. Even his accent was diminished.

  “Well, sorry to disappoint you but he is alone.” Mrs. Embry didn't sound like she had warmed up at all.

  “He hasn't been takin’ extra meals?” Rings was getting more insistent.

  “No, he hasn't,” Mrs. Embry snapped.

  “Not the brothers neither?” Rings asked.

  “No. They usually come down together but this morning Mr. Sampson slept in. Now if you will excuse me, gentlemen,” she paused on the word. “I have work to do.”

  Lily could hear Mrs. Embry's retreating steps then she heard Jack. “Where in tarnation is that girl?”

  Bags chimed in, “Do you think Tracker hid her? He's got a soft spot for that little filly.”

  “I don't know where he coulda hid her. He's off with Slim, lookin' south. Who'd be taking care of her?” Rings seemed genuinely confused.

  “Maybe Slim killed her,” Jack suggested.

  “Could be. Slim's like that and Curly bein' dead, somethin' went down. What Slim says about it don't seem right,” Rings seemed to be thinking hard.

  “How long do we gotta wait?” Bags asked.

  “Till they leave or we get orders otherwise,” Rings’s voice was fading out, as they walked away.

  Lily breathed a sigh and started to climb out from under the bed. Eric met her as she got halfway out and picked her up. She didn't realize she was shaking until she met his still body with her own. Lily tried to speak but her teeth were chattering so hard she couldn't get out the words. Eric tucked her head under his chin and held her tighter.

  Three hard knocks came at the door. Eric set her down on the bed. He had to pry her arms from around his neck. “I have to get the door. They will worry.”

  Lily lay on the bed, unable to control the shaking. She told her muscles to stop but she seemed unable to stop them. James and Tom entered the room and James’s face went from the angry black look he now wore to chalk white, “What happened?” he whispered. He reached out his hand and stroked her temple as Eric relayed the conversation they had overheard.

  “Why did she react like this?” Tom asked. “What did they do to her?” She could see the panic in Tom's face rising. While James, being the oldest, had always been more of a father figure, Lily and Tom had grown up as siblings and friends. She hated to see him so upset.

  “No, nuh uh no,” Lily finally stuttered, shaking her head. She sat up, still shaking her, breathing ragged. She took three deep breaths and the shaken lessoned. “It isn't what they did to me, it's what I did.”

  “What are you talking about?” James’s words were a little harsh but there was a gentleness to his voice.

  “When Tracker left, he gave me a gun. At first I thought it was to protect myself but then I realized I could escape. When I had been traveling for about an hour, Slim and Curly found me. They said it was part of the plan. They would leave, Tracker would follow, and I would escape. Slim said he was going to kill me. I couldn't see. I raised the gun and fired. I heard this cry...I...” Lily couldn't speak anymore the shaking took over her body.

  “You killed Slim.” James sounded shocked

  “No, Curly.”

  Eric came over to the bed to wrap his arms around her.

  James turned around and in an instant jumped at Eric. Eric, looked momentarily surprised but quickly recovered and knocked James off his course. The two were evenly matched in size, both being over six feet and broad shouldered. James slammed into the desk, then turned to make a second attack. Tom jumped in front of his brother in an instant and Lily sprang off the bed to launch herself in front of Eric.

  “This is your fault!” James hurled his words across the room.

  Eric's face twisted in pain, he clearly thought James was correct.

  Lily shook her head back in forth without realizing she was doing it. “No,” she said softly, then louder. “No, James. This is not his fault. It is the fault of my kidnappers. It is fate. Eric has no control over this.”

  These words seemed to only infuriate her brother. “Why are you standing up for him? What is it about him? Because he is handsome? Rich? His first wife came to an abrupt end and you are about to do the same. You don't think this has something to do with him? Well I know it does!” James turned toward the door and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

  Lily stood there stunned. She knew little about Caitlin's death but James seemed to think he knew more and that Eric was responsible. It was one thing to hear Kathryn say it but her own brother was entirely different. She turned her face to Eric's and it was again tortured. She put her hand on his cheek. “What happened to your wife?” she asked softly.

  He looked at her in surprise. “You're not going to blame me?”

  She smiled. “Everything I have seen with your son and with me tells me that you are good. I think you at least have a right to explain your side.”

  Eric smiled back and rubbed her cheek. When he smiled like that, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Lily had a sinking feeling that it didn't matter what he said. She was hopelessly in love with him.

  Tom cleared his throat. “I know you want to clear this all up but Eric needs to do some last-minute preparations so that we can leave tonight. The sooner we get out of here, the better we all will be.”

  Tom turned away and busied himself at the desk while Eric said goodbye. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear. “I promise I will tell you everything that happened with my first marriage soon. You have a right to know before we get married. Then you can decide if you still want to go through with it.”

  Lily pressed her body closer to his, “I'm sure I will.”

  He leaned down and kissed her. “Just wait until you hear it all,” He let her go and walked out the door. She was left feeling empty and alone.

  Tom cleared his throat again and Lily turned and smiled weakly at him. She drifted up next to him and laid her forehead on his shoulder.

  “It's going to be all right, Lil'. I don't think Eric's transgressions are that terrible. James is just being protective. And now that we have you back, we are not going to lose you again.” Tom stroked her hair as he talked.

  “Where is Eric going?” she asked.

  “To purchase clothes for you, I think.”

  “Won't that look suspicious?” she asked.

  “Usually your friends don't notice when only one of us leaves. When they do, we have gotten pretty good at shaking them long enough to complete our business. Much of what we have been doing doesn't give them much of a clue as to our plan and since they still don't know you are here, I think they are only half-heartedly following us. Truthfully, I think that they think you are dead and that it doesn't matter what we do. They'll know tomorrow that you are not.”

  “Shouldn't we stay here then? Won't they give up after a while?” Lily asked.

  “We risk you being exposed and then being trapped here. It is better to leave while we have the advantage.” Tom put one arm around her. “Try not to be too mad at James. I think deep down he feels guilty for pushing marriage on you. He's blaming Eric outwardly but inside blaming himself.”

  Lily snorted but didn’t respond. After a few moments, she asked, “What do you know about Eric and Caitlin?”

  Tom hesitated but seemed to make up his mind to continue. “I know Caitlin had other lovers.”

  Lily gasped. This is not at all what she had expected to hear.

  Tom sighed. “It is also rumored that she and Eric quarreled the night of her death. She died in a carriage accident and some say the carriage was tampered with.”

  Lily was stunned. She had always assumed that it was Eric's love of Caitl
in that had held him back but could he be suffering from more than a lost love? Was he responsible? Kathryn had made it sound like he was but Lily didn't trust Kathryn to tell any truth that wasn't to her advantage. Clearly, Kathryn was on the Colonel's side.

  “Do you really think Eric was responsible for her death?” Lily asked, biting her lip.

  “Lily, I like Eric a great deal but don't block out important information because of your feelings. This is your life we are talking about and it's important you have all of the facts.” Tom gave her a squeeze to emphasize his point.

  Lily knew that he was right but it was hard to separate her feelings from her judgment.

  At just after midnight, the four of them struck out. They didn't even check out of the hotel. They left a note with payment for the innkeeper. Lily was disappointed she was still traveling in men's clothing but she let it go. Judging by the tension when she had asked, James and Eric had disagreed over that as well. When they reached the outskirts of town, she saw a wagon waiting on the side of the road. Fear bubbled inside her but James approached easily.

  “Mrs. Madison, thank you for meeting us at this late hour. I trust you had no trouble getting here?” James smiled cordially.

  “No, I didn't. Thank you for asking. I would ask why we are leaving at this hour but I am sure that you will not tell me,” Mrs. Madison stated matter-of-factly.

  “Ann Madison, these are my brothers, Tom and Billy, and our friend Eric,” Lily almost jumped out of her skin. She was to pose as a boy all the way to Portland? It was one thing to do it for a few minutes but for several days? White hot fury swept through her as she realized why. She would not be able to so much as touch Eric, nor he her, if she were posing as a male. She could have chewed nails and spit them and the look she shot James said as much but he only smiled angelically.

  Tom took over driving the wagon and Ann rode next to him. Lily looked over at the woman they were traveling with. Even in the dark it was obvious that Ann was a young woman and quite pretty. She had dark hair and eyes and her features were quite refined.

  Lily wanted to ask why a lone woman would agree to travel with a group of unknown men but she couldn't find an opportunity to ask. She had her own horse, obviously a boy of her age would not ride with another man. She felt herself growing angry again and she was afraid Ann would hear her voice and know that they were lying. She supposed that James might just be trying to protect her but she was fairly certain he was just trying to keep her and Eric apart.

  She felt herself growing more and more tired and Ann eventually went to lie down in the back of the wagon, though she couldn't have slept much. Lily knew Ann was perfectly safe but it must be very strange to be traveling with a group of unknown men. She knew the feeling well. She wished she could lie down, or at least snuggle against Eric. She cursed James again but continued to ride.

  At about sunrise she started to fall asleep in the saddle. She woke herself up the first few times but then she felt herself slumping over. She closed her eyes for just a second and fell soundly asleep.

  “Billy, Billy, wake up,” she heard Eric's voice through a fog. She was still on her horse, her head resting against his neck.

  “Sorry,” she croaked, rousing herself. Eric rode over to James and she could hear the two of them whispering to each other in short bursts but she could not understand what they were saying.

  James rode over to the wagon. Ann, poked her head as they came to a stop. “I am sorry, Mrs. Madison, but my youngest brother is suffering from exhaustion. Would you mind riding next to Tom while Billy lies down for a bit?”

  Ann nodded her head. Lily climbed into the back and fell asleep before she even realized the wagon had resumed moving.

  She woke a few hours later, hungry and still tired. They stopped and made a brief meal, although more elaborate than hardtack, and then packed up, with Ann in the back of the wagon again.

  The sun was rising behind her and she realized that they were heading west instead of south. Perhaps they were trying to throw her kidnappers off their tracks? She had to admit, it seemed like a pretty good plan. Wouldn't it look better though, if she were also a woman?

  “James,” Lily rode up next to her brother, “why am I dressed as a male?”

  “To protect you, of course. Keep your voice down. You wouldn't want wake Mrs. Madison.” James smiled, clearly pleased with himself.

  Lily gave him a withering look. “But all of my kidnappers recognized me as a male. They would be less likely to recognize me as a female.”

  “Lily, no man that sees you as a woman is going to forget you. But as a male, change your hat and apparently they can sit next to you in a tavern and not know who you are.” James was enjoying himself.

  “You realize you are endangering Mrs. Madison. They could mistake her for me,” Lily shot back, exasperated.

  He nodded, “An unfortunate possibility, but I don't think it will happen.”

  “How could you be so callous?” She fell back in her spot between James and Eric, not waiting for a response. Eric kicked his horse up slightly and leaned over to whisper in her ear.

  “He's right about one thing,” he said with a grin. “No man is ever going to forget once they have seen you.”

  Lily stared hard at her brother's back. This was not over.

  They continued most of the day, their trail finally arcing south near sunset. They stopped and had dinner, a nice meal, and Lily was thankful they had a wagon that could carry provisions. The horses were tended and then James lay out the bedrolls. She was between her brothers, while Eric kept watch. Ann was, of course, in the wagon. Lily was exhausted after a long day and night of riding but she couldn't seem to fall asleep. She ached to be in Eric's arms. Now that she was back with him, polite rules of decorum interested her little. After what she had been through, it seemed more important that she be near him. They would be married soon and she didn't see why that precluded her from all physical contact. She just wanted to feel safe.

  Lily finally fell asleep late into the night but her dreams were restless and all night she dreamed of being kidnapped, or that she was separated from Eric and she couldn't find him no matter how hard she looked. Toward dawn, she began to have a dream that she was alone in the woods. She could hear Slim's voice calling to her. She tried to run but the more she ran the closer he seemed to get. His voice was right in her ear. “I'm a comin' for ya, girlie,” he cackled.

  Lily woke in a cold sweat and sat up. She felt so alone and afraid. She couldn't even talk about how she was feeling for fear of being discovered. After a night of rest, Ann would not be retiring to the wagon today. She was forced into silence.

  The day seemed to drag on, even more so because she was exhausted. She craved sleep but when the time came to actually fall asleep she again had difficulty and was plagued by nightmares. By the next day, Lily could feel her shoulders slumped with exhaustion but she was too tired to do anything about it. She also noticed Tom, Eric, and James whispering and looking at her with concern but she didn't know what they were saying and couldn't bring herself to muster the strength to ask. When they broke for camp, Ann and Tom went to gather firewood.

  Eric immediately wrapped his arms around her and she slumped against him. Her eyes closed of their own accord.

  James started to protest but Eric gave him a sharp look and growled, “Not now, James.”

  James was silent and Lily was thankful for the warmth of his embrace even for a few minutes.

  Finally, James spoke. His voice was the gentlest it had been in days. “Lily, what is wrong?”

  “Can't sleep,” she mumbled, “nightmares.”

  “James, we can't let this continue. She looks like the walking dead.” Eric gave her a small squeeze.

  “What choice do we have? We have to continue, we have to get her to safety.” James paused. “We could say she is sick and let her sleep in the wagon.”

  Eric thought for a second. “Then what would we do with Ann? Where would she sleep at
night? She might also try to tend to Lily and that could get...complicated.”

  James nodded and Lily thought it was nice to hear them speaking cordially.

  “James, could Eric sleep next to me?” Lily asked.

  “Lily,” James started to protest.

  “Please James, you'll be right on the other side of me and then, if I need to, I can hold his hand in the night when Slim comes to get me.” She paused, “I mean in my dream. He comes to get me in my dream.” She was already falling asleep in the warmth of Eric's arms.

  James nodded his head, concern seeming to override his desire to keep them apart.

  “Sweetheart, you've got to wake up and have dinner. Then you can go to sleep.” Lily roused herself as the meal was prepared. She shoved down what she could then lay down on the bedroll. She was already falling asleep and knowing that Eric would be next to her helped her start to drift off. She heard Ann, however, ask a few questions about her.

  “Is Billy all right? That boy looked tired all day. He isn't getting sick is he?”

  “I hope not,” Eric replied but Lily could hear the concern in his voice.

  The next morning, Lily woke feeling better and realized she was holding Eric's hand in her sleep. No wonder she had slept well. She heard someone stir and saw Ann coming back from the woods. Hopefully, the woman had not noticed that Lily was grasping Eric's hand.

  She quickly placed her hat over her bandana that held back her hair. It was braided and tucked into the wrap that bound her breasts. It was extremely uncomfortable but she could do little about it other than cut her hair and that was not going to happen.

  “Good morning,” Lily nodded to Ann, using her best male voice. Ann looked surprised and Lily realized that she had not spoken to Ann the entire trip.