The Thirteen Problems (miss marple)

by Agatha Christie

  'You're doing it beautifully,' said Dr Lloyd encouragingly. 'Go on.'

  'Well, this curious thing happened. My friend was sent for to the police station. And she went. It seemed there had been a burglary at a riverside bungalow and they'd arrested a young man, and he told a very odd story. And so they sent for her.

  'She'd never been to a police station before, but they were very nice to her - very nice indeed.'

  'They would be, I'm sure,' said Sir Henry.

  'The sergeant - I think it was a sergeant - or it may have been an inspector - gave her a chair and explained things, and of course I saw at once that it was some mistake - '

  'Aha,' thought Sir Henry. 'I. Here we are. I thought as much.'

  'My friend said so,' continued Jane, serenely unconscious of her self-betrayal. 'She explained she had been rehearsing with her understudy at the hotel and that she'd never even heard of this Mr Faulkener. And the sergeant said, "Miss Hel - "'

  She stopped and flushed.

  'Miss Helman,' suggested Sir Henry with a twinkle.

  'Yes - yes, that would do. Thank you. He said. "Well, Miss Helman, I felt it must be some mistake, knowing that you were stopping at the Bridge Hotel," and he said would I have any objection to confronting - or was it being confronted? I can't remember.'

  'It doesn't really matter,' said Sir Henry reassuringly.

  'Anyway, with the young man. So I said, "Of course not." And they brought him and said, "This is Miss Helier," and - Oh!' Jane broke off open-mouthed.

  'Never mind, my dear,' said Miss Marple consolingly. 'We were bound to guess, you know. And you haven't given us the name of the place or anything that really matters.'

  'Well,' said Jane. 'I did mean to tell it as though it happened to someone else. But it is difficult, isn't it! I mean one forgets so.'

  Everyone assured her that it was very difficult, and soothed and reassured, she went on with her slightly involved narrative.

  'He was a nice-looking man - quite a nice-looking man. Young, with reddish hair. His mouth just opened when he saw me. And the sergeant said, "Is this the lady?" And he said, "No, indeed it isn't. What an ass I have been." And I smiled at him and said it didn't matter.'

  'I can picture the scene,' said Sir Henry.

  Jane Helier frowned.

  'Let me see - how had I better go on?'

  'Supposing you tell us what it was all about, dear,' said Miss Marple, so mildly that no one could suspect her of irony. 'I mean what the young man's mistake was, and about the burglary.'

  'Oh, yes,' said Jane. 'Well, you see, this young man - Leslie Faulkener, his name was - had written a play. He'd written several plays, as a matter of fact, though none of them had ever been taken. And he had sent this particular play to me to read. I didn't know about it, because of course I have hundreds of plays sent to me and I read very few of them myself - only the ones I know something about. Anyway, there it was, and it seems that Mr Faulkener got a letter from me - only it turned out not to be really from me - you understand - '

  She paused anxiously, and they assured her that they understood.

  'Saying that I'd read the play, and liked it very much and would he come down and talk it over with me. And it gave the address - The Bungalow, Riverbury. So Mr Faulkener was frightfully pleased and he came down and arrived at this place - The Bungalow. A parlourmaid opened the door, and he asked for Miss Helier, and she said Miss Helier was in and expecting him and showed him into the drawing-room, and there a woman came to him. And he accepted her as me as a matter of course - which seems queer because after all he had seen me act and my photographs are very well known, aren't they?'

  'Over the length and breadth of England,' said Mrs Bantry promptly. 'But there's often a lot of difference between a photograph and its original, my dear Jane. And there's a great deal of difference between behind the footlights and off the stage. It's not every actress who stands the test as well as you do, remember.'

  'Well,' said Jane slightly mollified, 'that may be so. Anyway, he described this woman as tall and fair with big blue eyes and very good-looking, so I suppose it must have been near enough. He certainly had no suspicions. She sat down and began talking about his play and said she was anxious to do it. Whilst they were talking cocktails were brought in and Mr Faulkener had one as a matter of course. Well - that's all he remembers - having this cocktail. When he woke up, or came to himself, or whatever you call it - he was lying out in the road, by the hedge, of course, so that there would be no danger of his being run over. He felt very queer and shaky - so much so that he just got up and staggered along the road not quite knowing where he was going. He said if he'd had his sense about him he'd have gone back to the bungalow and tried to find out what had happened. But he felt just stupid and mazed and walked along without quite knowing what he was doing. He was just more or less coming to himself when the police arrested him.'

  'Why did the police arrest him?' asked Dr Lloyd.

  'Oh! didn't I tell you?' said Jane opening her eyes very wide. 'How very stupid I am. The burglary.'

  'You mentioned a burglary - but you didn't say where or what or why,' said Mrs Bantry.

  'Well, this bungalow - the one he went to, of course - it wasn't mine at all. It belonged to a man whose name was - '

  Again Jane furrowed her brows.

  'Do you want me to be godfather again?' asked Sir Henry. 'Pseudonyms supplied free of charge. Describe the tenant and I'll do the naming.'

  'It was taken by a rich city man - a knight.'

  'Sir Herman Cohen,' suggested Sir Henry.

  'That will do beautifully. He took it for a lady - she was the wife of an actor, and she was also an actress herself.'

  'We'll call the actor Claud Leason,' said Sir Henry, 'and the lady would be known by her stage name, I suppose, so we'll call her Miss Mary Kerr.'

  'I think you're awfully clever.' said Jane. 'I don't know how you think of these things so easily. Well, you see this was a sort of week-end cottage for Sir Herman - did you say Herman? - and the lady. And, of course, his wife knew nothing about it.'

  'Which is so often the case,' said Sir Henry.

  'And he'd given this actress woman a good deal of jewellery including some very fine emeralds.'

  'Ah!' said Dr Lloyd. 'Now we're getting at it'

  'This jewellery was at the bungalow, just locked up in a jewel case. The police said it was very careless - anyone might have taken it.'

  'You see, Dolly,' said Colonel Bantry. 'What do I always tell you?'

  'Well, in my experience,' said Mrs Bantry, 'it's always the people who are so dreadfully careful who lose things. I don't lock mine up in a jewel case - I keep it in a drawer loose, under my stockings. I daresay if - what's her name? - Mary Kerr had done the same, it would never have been stolen.'

  'It would,' said Jane, 'because all the drawers were burst open, and the contents strewn about.'

  'Then they weren't really looking for jewels,' said Mrs Bantry. 'They were looking for secret papers. That's what always happens in books.'

  'I don't know about secret papers,' said Jane doubtfully. 'I never heard of any.'

  'Don't be distracted, Miss Helier,' said Colonel Bantry. 'Dolly's wild red-herrings are not to be taken seriously.'

  'About the burglary,' said Sir Henry.

  'Yes. Well, the police were rung up by someone who said she was Miss Mary Kerr. She said the bungalow had been burgled and described a young man with red hair who had called there that morning. Her maid had thought there was something odd about him and had refused him admittance, but later they had seen him getting out through a window. She described the man so accurately that the police arrested him only an hour later and then he told his story and showed them the letter from me. And as I told you, they fetched me and when he saw me he said what I told you - that it hadn't been me at all!'

  'A very curious story,' said Dr Lloyd. 'Did Mr Faulkener know this Miss Kerr?'

  'No, he didn't - or he said he didn't. But
I haven't told you the most curious part yet. The police went to the bungalow of course, and they found everything as described - drawers pulled out and jewels gone, but the whole place was empty. It wasn't till some hours later that Mary Kerr came back, and when she did she said she'd never rung them up at all and this was the first she'd heard of it. It seemed that she had had a wire that morning from a manager offering her a most important part and making an appointment, so she had naturally rushed up to town to keep it. When she got there, she found that the whole thing was a hoax. No telegram had ever been sent.'

  'A common enough ruse to get her out of the way,' commented Sir Henry. 'What about the servants?'

  'The same sort of thing happened there. There was only one, and she was rung up on the telephone - apparently by Mary Kerr, who said she had left a most important thing behind. She directed the maid to bring up a certain handbag which was in the drawer of her bedroom. She was to catch the first train. The maid did so, of course locking up the house; but when she arrived at Miss Kerr's club, where she had been told to meet her mistress, she waited there in vain.'

  'H'm,' said Sir Henry. 'I begin to see. The house was left empty, and to make an entry by one of the windows would present few difficulties, I should imagine. But I don't quite see where Mr Faulkener comes in. Who did ring up the police, if it wasn't Miss Kerr?'

  'That's what nobody knew or ever found out.'

  'Curious,' said Sir Henry. 'Did the young man turn out to be genuinely the person he said he was?'

  'Oh, yes, that part of it was all right. He'd even got the letter which was supposed to be written by me. It wasn't the least bit like my handwriting - but then, of course, he couldn't be supposed to know that.'

  'Well, let's state the position clearly,' said Sir Henry. 'Correct me if I go wrong. The lady and the maid are decoyed from the house. This young man is decoyed down there by means of a bogus letter - colour being lent to this last by the fact that you actually are performing at Riverbury that week. The young man is doped, and the police are rung up and have their suspicions directed against him. A burglary actually has taken place. I presume the jewels were taken?'

  'Oh, yes.'

  'Were they ever recovered?'

  'No, never. I think, as a matter of fact, Sir Herman tried to hush things up all he knew how. But he couldn't manage it and I rather fancy his wife started divorce proceedings in consequence. Still, I don't really know about that.'

  'What happened to Mr Leslie Faulkener?'

  'He was released in the end. The police said they hadn't really got enough against him. Don't you think the whole thing was rather odd?'

  'Distinctly odd. The first question is whose story to believe? In telling if Miss Helier, I noticed that you incline towards believing Mr Faulkener. Have you any reason for doing so beyond your own instinct in the matter?'

  'No - no,' said Jane unwillingly. 'I suppose I haven't. But he was so very nice, and so apologetic for having mistaken anyone else for me, that I feel sure he must have been telling the truth.'

  'I see,' said Sir Henry smiling. 'But you must admit that he could have invented the story quite easily. He could write the letter purporting to be from you himself. He could also dope himself after successfully committing the burglary. But I confess I don't see where the point of all that would be. Easier to enter the house, help himself, and disappear quietly - unless just possibly he was observed by someone in the neighbourhood and knew himself to have been observed. Then he might hastily concoct this plan for diverting suspicion from himself and accounting for his presence in the neighbourhood.'

  'Was he well off?' asked Miss Marple.

  'I don't think so,' said Jane. 'No. I believe he was rather hard up.'

  'The whole thing seems curious,' said Dr Lloyd. 'I must confess that if we accept the young man's story as true, it seems to make the case very much more difficult. Why should the unknown woman who pretended to be Miss Helier drag this unknown man into the affair? Why should she stage such an elaborate comedy?'

  'Tell me, Jane,' said Mrs Bantry. 'Did young Faulkener ever come face to face with Mary Kerr at any stage of the proceedings?'

  'I don't quite know,' said Jane slowly, as she puzzled her brows in remembrance.

  'Because if he didn't the case is solved!' said Mrs Bantry. 'I'm sure I'm right. What is easier than to pretend you're called up to town? You telephone to your maid from Paddington or whatever station you arrive at, and as she comes up to town, you go down again. The young man calls by appointment, he's doped, you set the stage for the burglary, overdoing it as much as possible. You telephone the police, give a description of your scapegoat, and off you go to town again. Then you arrive home by a later train and do the surprised innocent.'

  'But why should she steal her own jewels, Dolly?'

  'They always do,' said Mrs Bantry. 'And anyway, I can think of hundreds of reasons. She may have wanted money at once - old Sir Herman wouldn't give her the cash, perhaps, so she pretends the jewels are stolen and then sells them secretly. Or she may have been being blackmailed by someone who threatened to tell her husband or Sir Herman's wife. Or she may have already sold the jewels and Sir Herman was getting ratty and asking to see them, so she had to do something about it. That's done a good deal in books. Or perhaps she was going to have them reset and she'd got paste replicas. Or - here's a very good idea - and not so much done in books - she pretends they are stolen, gets in an awful state and he gives her a fresh lot. So she gets two lots instead of one. That kind of woman, I am sure, is most frightfully artful.'

  'You are clever, Dolly,' said Jane admiringly. 'I never thought of that.'

  'You may be clever, but she doesn't say you're right,' said Colonel Bantry. 'I incline to suspicion of the city gentleman. He'd know the sort of telegram to get the lady out of the way, and he could manage the rest easily enough with the help of a new lady friend. Nobody seems to have thought of asking him for an alibi.'

  'What do you think, Miss Marple?' asked Jane, turning towards the old lady who had sat silent, a puzzled frown on her face.

  'My dear, I really don't know what to say. Sir Henry will laugh, but I recall no village parallel to help me this time. Of course there are several questions that suggest themselves. For instance, the servant question. In - ahem - an irregular ménage of the kind you describe, the servant employed would doubtless be perfectly aware of the state of things, and a really nice girl would not take such a place - her mother wouldn't let her for a minute. So I think we can assume that the maid was not a really trustworthy character. She may have been in league with the thieves. She would leave the house open for them and actually go to London as though sure of the pretence telephone message so as to divert suspicion from herself. I must confess that that seems the most probable solution. Only if ordinary thieves were concerned it seems very odd. It seems to argue more knowledge than a maidservant was likely to have.'

  Miss Marple paused and then went on dreamily.

  'I can't help feeling that there was some - well, what I must describe as personal feeling about the whole thing. Supposing somebody had a spite, for instance? A young actress that he hadn't treated well? Don't you think that that would explain things better? A deliberate attempt to get him into trouble. That's what it looks like. And yet - that's not entirely satisfactory... '

  'Why, doctor, you haven't said anything,' said Jane. 'I'd forgotten you.'

  'I'm always getting forgotten,' said the grizzled doctor sadly. 'I must have a very inconspicuous personality.'

  'Oh, no!' said Jane. 'Do tell us what you think.'

  'I'm rather in the position of agreeing with everyone's solutions - and yet with none of them. I myself have a far-fetched and probably totally erroneous theory that the wife may have had something to do with it. Sir Herman's wife, I mean. I've no grounds for thinking so - only you would be surprised if you knew the extraordinary - really very extraordinary things that a wronged wife will take it into her head to do.'

  'Oh! Dr Lloyd
,' cried Miss Marple excitedly. 'How clever of you. And I never thought of poor Mrs Pebmarsh.'

  Jane stared at her.

  'Mrs Pebmarsh? Who is Mrs Pebmarsh?'

  'Well - ' Miss Marple hesitated. 'I don't know that she really comes in. She's a laundress. And she stole an opal pin that was pinned into a blouse and put it in another woman's house.'

  Jane looked more fogged than ever.

  'And that makes it all perfectly clear to you, Miss Marple?' said Sir Henry, with his twinkle.

  But to his surprise Miss Marple shook her head.

  'No, I'm afraid it doesn't. I must confess myself completely at a loss. What I do realize is that women must stick together - one should, in an emergency, stand by one's own sex. I think that's the moral of the story Miss Helier has told us.'

  'I must confess that that particular ethical significance of the mystery has escaped me,' said Sir Henry gravely. 'Perhaps I shall see the significance of your point more clearly when Miss Helier has revealed the solution.'

  'Eh?' said Jane looking rather bewildered.

  'I was observing that, in childish language, we "give it up". You and you alone, Miss Helier, have had the high honour of presenting such an absolutely baffling mystery that even Miss Marple has to confess herself defeated.'

  'You all give it up?' asked Jane.

  'Yes.' After a minute's silence during which he waited for the others to speak, Sir Henry constituted himself spokesman once more. 'That is to say we stand or fall by the sketchy solutions we have tentatively advanced. One each for the mere men, two for Miss Marple, and a round dozen from Mrs B.'

  'It was not a dozen,' said Mrs Bantry. 'They were variations on a main theme. And how often am I to tell you that I will not be called Mrs B?'

  'So you all give it up,' said Jane thoughtfully. 'That's very interesting.'

  She leaned back in her chair and began to polish her nails rather absent-mindedly.

  'Well,' said Mrs Bantry. 'Come on, Jane. What is the solution?'

  'The solution?'

  'Yes. What really happened?'

  Jane stared at her.