Blitz

by Claire Rayner

  ‘Run away again?’ Robin said sympathetically.

  ‘Course ’e has! Yer Ma had a bad time of it down that canteen of hers last night, and then comes home dead tired and there he is down in the area and waitin’ for ’er. Told me, she did, this morning when I got her into bed. Couldn’t hardly move she couldn’t, she was that stiff. But she said he’d got to go back o’ course. Shame really.’ Goosey got to her feet with an audible creaking of her old stays. ‘When he just don’t want to. It’s not that my brother’s boy’s not good to him and to our Lee, of course he is, but it stands to reason the poor little things want to be with their Ma and Pa, don’t it? It’s flyin’ in the face of nature, that’s what it is, to keep these children so far away from their own. We’ve had no bombs here, have we? They’re all down in that nasty East End of yours.’ And she looked at Robin sternly as though to blame her for the pasting that was being suffered by the slums in which she worked. ‘If it was up to me, I tell you straight, I’d keep the children here and make sure we all got down in that nasty shelter whenever there was any hint of trouble and we’d all be fine and young Joshy wouldn’t have to keep on upsetting everyone by legging it the way he does. And my nephew,’ she went on with an air of great virtue, ‘my nephew could take on some other of these ’ere evacuees what’d be glad of the chance to go and live on a farm like his. Ducks and geese and there’s chickens and all – but there it is, no one don’t want my opinion, do they? I’m just an old woman and no good to no one, not when it comes to opinions, though I can cook and clean and so forth o’ course – ’

  Robin cut in hastily to stem the tide of chatter which was threatening to turn into an all too familiar diatribe. No one knew better than Robin just how much of the housework and cooking Poppy had to do now that Goosey was so old and frail, and equally no one knew just how much the old woman tried to convince herself and everyone around her that she was still the prop and stay of the household that she always had been.

  ‘Listen, Goosey, where is he? Joshy, I mean. Has he gone out to play or something? Because – ’

  ‘Him, gone out? Not a bit of it. Fast asleep still, isn’t he? Up there in his bed looking like every angel you ever saw, as pink as a picture that he is. He was always the best-looking of all you babies. Goosey should know, because didn’t I have the care of all three of you? But no one never asks me for an opinion – why should they? I’m only old Goosey, been here for ever – ’

  She went on muttering to herself as she began laboriously to wash the last of the dishes Robin had swiftly taken from the table to the sink, and only stopped when Robin kissed the back of her old neck, which smelled as it always did of baby powder and lavender water, and made for the stairs.

  ‘I’ll go up and see him,’ she said. ‘I’ve missed the little wretch dreadfully. And it’s high time he was up, surely – ’

  ‘Didn’t get to bed till well after one, or maybe it was two, this morning,’ Goosey said. ‘And he’d been on the run all day. He might well be sleeping yet.’

  ‘It’s ten o’clock now – so he’s had eight hours at least. Do start some breakfast for him, Goosey. Have you another egg to manage some French toast for him? He loves it – I’ll be down with him soon – ’

  And she ran up the stairs eagerly. She had always adored her small brother, from the moment she had first seen him, a crumpled creature with a furious expression on his face, the day Poppy had brought him home from the hospital. Lee had always been a little remote, a self-contained child with a strong will of her own and a tendency to be silent and watchful, but Joshy had always been delightful, confiding, friendly and just wicked enough to be amusing. To see him before she curled up for a day’s sleep herself would be lovely.

  He was already awake when she put her head round his door, sitting on the edge of his bed and struggling to tie his shoelaces tight enough. Even at his age he still found that a problem and his big sister was one of the few people he allowed to know it, and he grinned cheerfully at her over his shoulder as she said, ‘Joshy!’ in a delighted voice, and stuck out one leg.

  ‘I knew someone’d come if I tried on my own first,’ he said. ‘And I’m glad it’s you. You won’t give me a row, will you?’

  Robin crouched in front of him and expertly lacing and tying his scuffed brown shoes, laughed.

  ‘Ma been giving you a tongue-lashing?’

  He made a face. ‘Sort of.’

  ‘I’ll bet. You are a wretch, Joshy. You know how she worries – tell me, how’d you do it this time?’

  He launched into a graphic account of his escapade, and she stayed there sitting on her haunches in front of him and watching his eloquent face as he chattered on and marvelled a little. She was used to children from her work at the hospital, and of course from Lee, who at two years his senior had been the first small child she’d ever had much to do with; but none of them had ever seemed to her to have his ready wit and sharp intelligence. One day, she found herself thinking now as he mimed for her the way the ticket inspector had slammed open the lavatory door behind which he had been hiding, one day he’ll be famous. He’ll do something very special with his life. He’s that sort of person.

  Joshy finished then with a sudden descent into gloom. ‘ – So Mummy found me and said I’d got to go back. I had a lovely supper and everything but she says I’ve got to go back. It’s not fair.’

  Robin got to her feet a little stiffly. ‘I’m sorry, Joshy, but it is, you know. It’s dangerous in London. I was in a raid the other night and last night – well, the injured people in Casualty – it was dreadful.’

  ‘Lots of blood?’ Joshy said and his eyes glowed.

  ‘Lots,’ Robin said. ‘And no, I will not tell you the details, so stop gloating. You’re a revolting child, young man, that’s what you are. If someone came and spilled all their guts at your feet you wouldn’t turn a hair, I suspect – ’

  ‘Course I wouldn’t!’ he said disgustedly. ‘It’s what wars are about, isn’t it? That’s why I want to stay home. To be where it’s all happening and see all the fun.’

  ‘Not to be with us? With Ma and Pa?’ Robin was genuinely curious, for he had always been a most affectionate child as well as being as normally bloodthirsty as any boy of his age, and he looked at her and then away and made a face.

  ‘Course I do,’ he said gruffly. ‘That’s mostly why I want to stay here, but I can’t tell them that, can I? They’ll get all worried and that’s no good to anyone. I thought if I showed them how brave I am and everything they’d let me stay because they’d know then that nothing that happened would upset me. They’d think I’d be all right and – ’

  ‘You’re missing the point, Josh,’ Robin said as gently as she could. ‘It’s not the possibility that you’d see something nasty and be upset that worries them. It’s the possibility that you’d be the something nasty and bloody that they’d see. You could be hurt, love, killed even.’

  Joshy stared at her, invincible in his belief in his own immortality. ‘You haven’t been hurt or killed,’ he said. ‘Have you? And you’re down in the East End where it’s much worse, and you’re working in a hospital where there are all sorts of disgusting germs to give you dreadful diseases, and you haven’t caught any of them.’

  ‘Haven’t I just,’ Robin said with considerable feeling. ‘Didn’t I have the most appalling flu last year, caught from the hospital?’

  ‘Well, so did we all, didn’t we? So it wasn’t just the hospital, it was everywhere. Anyway, they couldn’t hurt me, those bombs. I can run ever so fast. And anyway, there are the shelters, aren’t there?’

  ‘They’re not always all that safe,’ Robin said, remembering the night last week when a shelter had had a direct hit across the road from the hospital, and all the fifteen people in it had died. ‘You’ll have to go back, Joshy. You know you will.’

  He looked triumphantly at her and shook his head. ‘Well, maybe, but not yet. I don’t know when. I heard Ma and Pa talking last night. They came in
to see me and I sort of stayed asleep, you know what I mean. And they were saying there’s no one to take me back. Pa’s got his work and Ma’s got the canteen and Goosey’s too old. So there it is. I’ll have to stay a while, at least.’

  She looked at him consideringly. ‘I’m afraid it isn’t, my love.’ And she reached out and hugged him. ‘Don’t hate me for it. But I’ve got three nights off. I could take you. And I will, because it just isn’t safe enough for you in London. No, don’t look at me that way. Believe it or not, I’m on your side. But I also know what your tricks are, so go back you will. And I’ll take you. But not right now. I need some sleep in the worst way, and Goosey’s making some breakfast for you in the kitchen. So, on your way sweetheart. Big sister needs some time to herself.’ And she slapped his bottom gently as he stood up reluctantly and went over to the door his head down and his feet dragging.

  ‘I should have guessed no one’d understand,’ he said mournfully. ‘It’s always the same. Not fair –’ And he went out of the room and down the stairs slapping his feet noisily on each step as a form of protest – it always annoyed Goosey dreadfully when he did it – leaving Robin wanting to weep for him. It is really a rotten time to be a child, she thought. At least she could be part of it all, and feel she was useful. Or could most of the time, for she remembered suddenly the expression on Staff Nurse Meek’s face when she had argued with her about Todd, and she sighed. Going to Norfolk with Joshy could be fun really. She might even decide to stay there with him, and to hell with the hospital and nursing. It was a thought –

  But one not to be thought, or at least not now, and she went across the hallway to her own familiar room and went to bed. There was no way she could cope another moment without some rest. And she was asleep almost before she pulled the blankets above her naked body, for she had been too weary to go down to fetch her things from the hall.

  ‘I’ll tell you what,’ David said. ‘We’ll have a holiday. Tomorrow everyone has to get back to work – me to the bureau and your Ma to the canteen and you to the farm. That’s your war work, really, Joshy, isn’t it?’ Joshy opened his mouth to speak but his father rushed on, preventing him. ‘So what say we all go out to dinner tonight, hmm?’

  Joshy was immediately enthralled. ‘To a restaurant? I mean, a real one, not Mummy’s or Auntie Jessie’s?’

  David laughed as Poppy made a little face, but it was clear she wasn’t upset. ‘I think so. We could do better than at an hotel, I think. I wonder –’ and he looked thoughtfully at Joshy. ‘Is it time you tried Chinese food, do you think?’

  Joshy’s eyes widened and Robin laughed. She remembered how exciting it had been the first time David and Poppy had taken her to a Chinese restaurant. It had been back in those days when she hadn’t been absolutely sure how she felt about David, whether she liked him for being fun or hated him for being so important to Poppy. That night learning from him how to eat with chopsticks had helped to resolve the problem.

  ‘He’ll show you how to eat with chopsticks, Joshy,’ she said. ‘It’s fun. You’re allowed to pick the bowl up and hold it under your chin – ’

  Joshy snorted with laughter. ‘Will Goosey be coming? She’d have a fit if she saw me do that.’

  ‘No,’ Poppy said. ‘Not Goosey. She doesn’t really like foreign food and anyway she likes to get to bed early. Will that help, Joshy?’

  His face lost some of its sparkle as he glanced at her and then he sighed and nodded. ‘I suppose so. I mean I’ve got to go back anyway, so there it is. I might as well have some fun out of it all while I’m here. There isn’t any in rotten old Norfolk.’

  ‘Fiddle de dee,’ Poppy said crisply. ‘It’s there if you look for it. Fun comes from inside you most of the time anyway. When you go anywhere at all you always find yourself waiting on the step when you arrive.’

  Joshy stared at her. ‘That’s soppy,’ he said. ‘I mean, I don’t want to be cheeky or anything, but it is soppy.’

  ‘It’s very wise, my son,’ David said and leaned over and tugged him to his feet. ‘As you’ll realize one day. Come on. We’ll kick a ball about in the garden for a bit and then get changed. Poppy, you can get someone to stand in for you tonight? Under the circumstances?’

  ‘What else can I do?’ Poppy said. ‘Sometimes it’s just – well, not to worry. Jessie said she’d go and keep an eye on things, which is good of her. I’ve asked Flo and Edna not to let her do too much, but you know how she is. And I just hope there aren’t any bad incidents tonight. At least she’ll be safe there. I worry myself sick about her at Cable Street. She never uses her shelter, you know?’

  ‘I thought she went to her cellar?’ Robin said.

  ‘If she feels like it. But too often she doesn’t. At the canteen she’ll be fine, though. It shakes a bit but even close hits leave it secure.’

  ‘I worry about Auntie Jessie,’ Robin said after a while and went over to the drawing-room window to look down into the garden where David and Joshy had arrived and were now kicking a battered football with a great deal more energy than accuracy. ‘She’s so stubborn – Ma, tell me about the man at Auntie Jessie’s.’

  ‘Man? What man?’

  ‘Oh, come on. You know who I mean! He turned up at Auntie Jessie’s the day I was there with Chick and you looked like thunder. He knew who I was and said something about Chloe. Who is he and why do you loathe him so?’

  There was a little silence and then Poppy said shortly, ‘Private, my love. Private.’

  ‘Oh, Ma, come off it. This is me, remember?’

  ‘Could I forget? Well, I suppose – it’s just that he’s – oh, he’s such a chancer! Not as scrupulously honest as he might be, and nasty with it.’

  ‘That doesn’t tell me who he is. Just what he is.’ Robin looked over her shoulder at Poppy. ‘Come on, Ma, Spill it!’

  ‘Oh –’ Poppy made a face and went and curled up on one of the big multi-coloured cushions by the empty fireplace. ‘I suppose you’ll find out sooner or later. He’s Bernie – ’

  Robin frowned. ‘Bernie? I’ve heard of him before – ’

  ‘Possibly,’ Poppy said drily. ‘He’s Jessie’s son.’

  ‘That’s it! I knew I’d heard hints from – well, never mind. I just knew there was something about him! So he’s Jessie’s, is he? He must have had a simply gorgeous-looking father!’

  Poppy lifted her brows. ‘As a matter of fact, he gets his looks from his mother’s side of the family,’ she said a little frostily. ‘Your grandfather – my father and Jessie’s brother – was a very good-looking person and Jessie, when she was younger – and anyway, look at you. You’re no slouch!’

  Robin went pink. ‘Thanking you kindly, ma’am,’ she said as lightly as she could. ‘So, he’s Jessie’s son and he’s a bit of a chancer, not too honest. Is that why you loathe him so? And where does Chloe come in?’

  ‘Enough,’ Poppy said. ‘This is turning into gossip.’

  ‘Mm’ Robin’s eyes glinted with amusement. ‘And isn’t it fun?’

  Poppy laughed in spite of herself. ‘Honestly, Robin, you’re as bad as Joshy sometimes.’

  ‘I wish I had half his intelligence and a quarter of his charm,’ Robin said. ‘He really is something rather special.’

  ‘He is, isn’t he?’ Poppy smiled at her daughter then. ‘You all are. And it’s lovely to see you so attached to him. Half-brother and all – ’

  ‘To quote an expert,’ Robin said lightly. ‘Fiddle de dee! He’s my little brother completely, and there’s an end to it. Now tell me about Chloe. Don’t keep changing the subject.’

  ‘I can’t,’ Poppy said uncomfortably. ‘She’s your sister too, and – ’

  Robin made a face. ‘Now she really feels like a half-sister. In fact a quarter, or less. She can be so – oh, you know what I mean.’

  ‘I do and I don’t want to talk about it.’ Poppy was more uneasy than ever. ‘She’s a – I mean she’s a private person now. Lives her own life. We don’t see much of her
and it’s horrid to gossip about her – ’

  ‘I see,’ Robin said shrewdly. ‘So she and Bernie were some sort of – ’

  ‘That’s enough, Robin!’ Poppy was on her feet. ‘I’m going to bath and change. It’s high time I dressed properly. I’ve been slopping around like this for far too long.’ And she tugged at her dressing gown. ‘You could do with something different too. Have you anything with you from the hospital you can wear? Or would you like to borrow something of mine?’

  Robin pulled at her skimpy green siren suit. ‘I can’t go in this?’

  ‘You know perfectly well that –’ And then Poppy stopped. ‘You really can get me so agitated, Robin! Time you grew out of that at your great age.’

  Robin laughed. ‘I know. Isn’t it awful? But at least it means I’m old enough to wear that little green number of yours. The suit – the one with the silly hat to match.’

  Poppy made a face. ‘I was going to wear that – oh, all right. I’ll make do with the black.’

  ‘And very nice, too,’ Robin said as they made for the door. ‘You look like a femme fatale in it. I’ll need some stockings too. Any possibility of those?’

  And arguing amiably over clothes they went upstairs. Talking about Chloe clearly wasn’t on the agenda today, Robin thought privately as she chattered on about the use of a string of pearls that Poppy had and which would look splendid with the green suit. Sooner or later she’d find out about the link between her and the amazingly good-looking and highly dubious cousin. Be nice, and persuade Ma, that was the secret, but not now. Now they were going out as almost a family to eat exotic food and have some fun, war or no war.

  10

  Joshy was for once in his life silenced with awe by the restaurant to which David took them. The place was full of bead curtains and low lights and carved wooden partitions between the tables, all painted in bright green and red and gold lacquer, and the smell was extraordinary; Robin identified ginger and cinnamon and garlic and then had to give up as the scent, exotic, delicious and highly promising, overwhelmed her, and then laughed aloud as she caught sight of Joshy with his head up, snuffling the air like a small hedgehog.