Three Years Later

by Casey McMillin

  I'd never really thought of my parents as being adventurous eaters, but based on his amazement, I figured that's what they were.

  We had a really easy time talking, like old friends catching up. (Old friends with a side of heart-stopping attraction.)

  I asked Collin a million questions about swimming. I didn't think I'd necessarily want to try it myself (at least not competitively) but I'd swim a few laps next time I go to the Y, just to see how it feels, and I'd definitely pay closer attention during the next Olympics.

  Collin had Olympic dreams, but he said not all the guys on the team do. Some of them are just happy to get a scholarship, or even a partial scholarship for that matter.

  Since the Olympics just happened this year, Collin has more than three years to train and prepare for the trials. He said he thinks he has a real shot at it if he continues to progress at the pace he's at now.

  I could tell, despite our conversation being surface level, he was prepared to work really hard for it. I believed in him already, and we'd just met.

  Collin and I decided to order food from one of the resort's restaurants instead of going out to eat. Although we both claimed to be hungry, we ended up talking for an hour before we made up our mind about what to eat.

  "Let me go get it," Collin said, once we'd decided on a burger and fries. He had a little bit of mischief in his eyes, and I couldn't quite tell what it was about. I thought maybe he was going to surprise me with a special dessert or a drink or something.

  As much as I didn't want to see him go, I needed to catch up on a few texts and communicate with my parents.

  "Okay," I agreed. "You sure you don't mind?"

  "I'll be back before you know it." He smiled, and I knew he had something up his sleeve, but I couldn't imagine what.

  He had already stood up to leave, but he dropped down, bracing himself on the back and the arm of the couch, looming over me. He leaned down and put a kiss on my forehead. I looked up, just begging for him to kiss my mouth, and he did. His soft lips met mine in the sweetest kiss I'd ever experienced.

  He pulled his lips away from mine a few times, and each time they came right back. He had repeated the process five or six times before he said, "If I don't go now, I'm not going at all."

  "I guess you better go," I said, smiling shyly. I was actually grateful for the distraction. I could see myself having no reserve or morals at all when it came to this guy, and I needed a second to cool down.

  "I'll be right back." Collin grabbed his wallet and room key before heading out the door. He looked back and smiled over his shoulder on his way out, and any uncertainty I was feeling earlier in the day had completely faded. I felt like Collin really did like me.

  I waited several long seconds after the door was closed to let out the squeal I'd been holding in. My hands were over my face so it came out muffled, but there was no way I could've stopped it completely.

  It really did seem like he liked me, and I really liked him too. I had no idea where we could possibly go from here, though. I had a gut feeling that tonight wouldn't be the end of the line for Collin and me, but it would be interesting to see how it all played out.

  I knew I had to get in touch with my parents, but I still took a minute to imagine the possibility of things getting serious with us. I wondered what it would be like to go to Cal. Since he was going into his junior year this fall, Collin would be a senior when I'd be a freshman.

  Knowing I was getting too far ahead of myself, I dug my phone from my bag and sent a text to my mom that said: Still with Lucy, we're going to stay at the resort.

  Mom: Wish you would have stayed for the light show, but glad you're having a good time. Is she a nice girl? Her parents there?

  Me: yes and yes

  Mom: Okay, your dad and I are going to walk around a while longer. See you in a couple hours. Did you eat?

  Me: Yes

  Mom: Good. Love you.

  I was in the process of texting Brit (who had no clue about Collin) when I heard the low hum of a phone on vibrate. I realized Collin's phone was still sitting on the coffee table right in front of me.

  In my defense, the phone was facing up. I like to think I wouldn't have picked it up and looked at it if it were face down. Maybe I would have, who knew. Either way, his phone was face up and the screen was displaying the image of a girl in a swimsuit. Not just a swimsuit like she was at the beach, but one that a swimmer would wear.

  I could tell with one glance that this gorgeous girl was on a swim team, but I had ample opportunity to check her out because his phone rang for what seemed like an eternity. Why was it ringing so long? Did he have his voice mail set on thirty rings? Or was she just calling over and over again?

  She had long, amber-colored hair, which hung in damp waves over her shoulders. She was smiling seductively at the person taking the photo. The name Jamie was written across the top of the screen. I thought I'd rather enjoy bitch-slapping this Jamie right about now.

  I assumed Collin had taken the photo, which meant the take me to bed face she was wearing had probably been meant for him. I felt a sudden wave of jealousy and no small amount of queasiness at the thought.

  I tried to tell myself it was nothing. Girls make faces like that all the time, I thought, I'm sure I've even made that face in pictures. They're probably just friends from the swim team.

  I was actually starting to feel a little bit better when his phone shook and lit up again. I glanced down at the screen. I could tell it was that Jamie girl again, even though a translucent box in the middle of the screen obstructed the photo.

  I had a split second internal battle over whether or not I should read the text message. I knew I had to decide fast if I didn't want to have to turn his phone on again once the screen went black.

  I couldn't help myself. I just had to look.

  The absolute worst case scenario of words were on the screen in front of me!

  It said: "Collin I miss you something awful. Please come back to me."

  I had time to read it twice before the screen went black. I took a deep, shaky breath. At best, she was a friend who had an odd sense of humor, but I knew deep down that wasn't the case.

  How had I been so sure of his sincerity a few minutes ago? I thought I was good at reading people. How had I been so far off with him?

  My mind was now racing with possible outcomes of this situation. Should I stay and ignore the text like I'd never seen it? Should I stay and confront him about it? Neither of those options seemed reasonable at that moment.

  It was obvious the girl on the screen wasn't just a friend with an odd sense of humor, and that made my decision easy. I had to get out of here.

  Collin had a girlfriend at home, and he was trying to get a little something-something on the side. The thought of it made me literally sick.

  His phone lit up again with a reminder of the incoming text. I allowed myself one last glance at the phone (just to be sure) before I grabbed my bag and left his room.

  My eyes were burning with the pain of unshed tears all the way back to my room. The tears kept welling up, making my vision blur, but I wouldn't let myself completely lose it until I was behind closed doors. I walked as quickly as I could without breaking into a run.

  Never in my life was I so glad to be in an empty room. I let the door close behind me and collapsed onto the bed. I was hurt, embarrassed, and angry enough to see red. I should have known he was too good to be true.

  Chapter 6

  Collin

  I wanted Rachel to come with me to get the food, but I wanted even more to bring her a little surprise. A Disney employee who was walking around with a camera took a picture of Rachel and me with Mickey earlier today. He gave me a card with a code on it, and said I could type in the code at any photo kiosk to print the picture. I doubted Rachel even saw him give me the card, so I thought she'd really be surprised if I brought a picture back with me.

  There was a photo kiosk right by the entrance to the restaurant where
we ordered takeout. I punched in the code that was written on the card and the photo we'd taken earlier today appeared on the monitor. Mickey was in the middle, and Rachel and I were on either side of him. I smiled at the sight of her face. Just beautiful.

  Deciding what kind of prints to buy took a little thought. It seemed a bit overkill to show up with coffee mugs or keychains, so I just printed out two wallet size photos.

  I laughed at myself for paying fourteen dollars a piece for a two-inch piece of paper. (Probably ounce for ounce about the same as gold.) The hilarious truth was, I would've paid way more than that. Once the photos printed out, I gave them a quick look and slipped them into the back pocket of my jeans.

  I smiled the whole time I was in that restaurant, thinking about Rachel. Even the challenge of trying to figure out a long distance relationship seemed like no big deal. I felt like we could, no, would work it out. I'd have to ask her where exactly she lived in Oregon, but I was relatively sure, no matter where it was, I could make the trip up there in a day.

  I way over-tipped the person who brought me the bag of food because they'd been so quick about it. Rachel and I only had a few more hours until she'd have to go back to her room, and I was dreading that time already.

  We'd talked about not being able to see each other before I left in the morning. I told her I had five guys riding back with me to San Diego, and one of them had to be back for something, so there was no changing the departure plans. We had to be on the road by ten.

  I walked into the room, anxious to show her the photo. Smiling, I poked my head around the corner.

  "I got something…"

  My smile stayed in place, even when I didn't see her in the main room. She's probably in the bathroom, I thought. I set the bag of food, my wallet, some loose change, and my room key on the desk.

  At a glance, I didn't think I could see light coming from under the bathroom door, so I went to investigate.

  Walking to the opposite end of the room, I could see that the bathroom door was partially open and no lights were on. I still peeked in there to make sure she wasn't randomly sitting in the dark for some reason.

  I was so taken aback by Rachel's absence that I thought I might have gone into the wrong room. I got nervous and glanced around quickly, looking for familiar items. I knew I'd used the room key when I came in, but I still looked around for more confirmation. Sure enough, there were two empty bags of Cheeze-Its and a Gatorade bottle on the nightstand.

  Rachel's not being around was a bummer, but I figured she'd just stepped outside for a minute. I thought it was only a little odd that she didn't leave me a note or anything. Thinking she'd be back any second, I opened the bag of takeout and munched on a few fries.

  I'd only been in the room for two minutes max before I started feeling antsy. I wouldn't call it pacing, but I did walk to the bathroom and back a few times. It was more like I was moving around as I thought. During one of my trips across the room, I noticed my cell sitting on the coffee table. I hadn't missed it at all on my trip to pick up food.

  I thought Rachel might have tried to reach me, so I bent to pick it up and check it out. As I was in motion, it dawned on me that, in spite of the fact that I was falling for this girl in a hurry, I hadn't even given her my number yet. I decided to go ahead and check my phone, just to be sure.

  I hit the home button, and the phone came to life flashing two notifications, a missed call and a text, both from… Jamie?

  My slight annoyance at her attempt to contact me took a sharp turn toward rage when I read her text. I miss you, come back to me?

  Jesus, had Rachel seen this? My heart fell from my chest. My whole body buzzed with anger as the reality of the situation began to sink in. I played mental tug of war for a few long seconds. Half of me believing her absence in the room had nothing to do with Jamie's text, the other half knowing it had everything to do with it.

  If I hadn't been pacing a minute ago, I was pacing now. I had enough adrenaline to shoot through the roof, but I had no idea where to start, where to look.

  I tried to remember back to the hours of conversation we shared. Had Rachel mentioned what room she was in? I racked my brain for a few long moments, combing my memory for anything… any clue that would help me reach her.

  My anger gave way to fury when I couldn't, for the life of me, come up with anything. I didn't even know her last name for Christ's sake.

  How could I know she loves strawberry pie and Skee-Ball and the History Channel, and not know her freaking last name? I did one last frantic sweep of the room, looking for any shred of hope that my worst suspicions weren’t true. Please, God let something tell me she's coming back, or at least where I can find her.

  Everything was in hyper mode. I had an acute awareness of my surroundings (and not necessarily in a comfortable way). My thoughts were going a mile a minute, and I didn't even know where to begin in trying to fix this situation.

  I picked the phone and dialed Jamie's number.

  "Collin, I'm so glad you called me back. I had a feeling you would."

  "Did anybody pick up the phone when you called me?"

  "Wh-what?"

  "Did anybody pick up the phone when you called, Jamie? Think. Did a girl pick up my phone?"

  "No, nobody picked up."

  "You're sure? Did it go to my voicemail?" (A brief silence.) "Did it go to my voicem—"

  "Yes. Jesus, Collin. It went to your voicemail."

  "Did the text you sent say delivered?"

  "I don't know, I guess, I didn't really look at that. What's that even mean? What's going on Collin? I wanted to talk."

  "Jamie, I swear, if you make me lose her I, I… you just better hope I find her."

  "You're not making any sense. I have no idea who you're talking about."

  "You're sure nobody picked up my phone?"

  "No, I mean, yes I'm sure. It went to voicemail after like twenty rings."

  "Okay. I gotta go."

  "Collin, wait, I wanted to talk."

  "I can't Jamie."

  "What? You can't right now?"

  "Probably not ever. I really have to go."

  "Oookaaay."

  "Bye Jamie."

  "Bye." I was hanging up before she could get the word out.

  The possibility of Jamie knowing something was the only thing keeping my hopes alive. I had no idea where to begin. I thought about going up to the front desk to try to find out what room she's in, and remembered in order to do that, I needed to know her last name. That teeny piece of information could solve everything!

  Rachel, Rachel, Rachel who? I wanted her so badly, I felt violent. I wanted nothing more than to push the desk over or punch a hole in the dry wall. Who was I kidding? I felt as if I was in danger of turning into something that resembled the Incredible Hulk.

  I let myself make plans in my head involving this girl. I really thought I'd found the one. I just couldn't get it through my thick skull that I was going to lose her this soon after finding her.

  I even entertained the idea of walking around with her picture and asking random people in the lobby if they'd seen her. If I had thought there was a chance of that working, I would've risked being perceived as a crazy stalker guy and given it a shot.

  I knew there was pretty much zero chance that anyone would've seen her in a place this size. Besides, even if they had seen her, nobody would really give information to a guy with a picture who doesn't even know the girl's last name. Still unsure of where to start, but knowing I couldn’t just sit around and do nothing… I jotted down a note and closed the door on it so she'd see it when she came back.

  Rachel,

  I'll be right back.

  Stay here, please.

  C

  I took off at a brisk pace. My plan was to do a quick pass down as many hallways as I could before coming back to my room every fifteen minutes or so to check.

  I did that, and then repeated the process four or five times. By the time I'd walked the resor
t hallways for just over an hour, I started to feel like the crazy stalker guy. I went back to my room, defeated and beyond pissed. I took a twenty-minute cold shower. It didn't help.

  I figured the best I could do was try again in the morning before we left. Maybe I would show the picture to a few people. At this point, I didn't care what anyone thought.

  Screw me for leaving my phone.

  Screw Jamie for calling.

  Screw Rachel for not staying to ask me about it.

  ****

  I had no luck whatsoever the next morning. I knew I'd never forgive myself if I didn't take one last shot, so I showed the photo to a few people in the lobby including the girl working the main desk at guest service. No one recognized her. I left the resort with a truck full of guys who had no clue how sick I was feeling over it. They thought I was just in a rotten mood.

  Three years later.

  Chapter 7

  Rachel

  "How are you planning on managing this, Rachel? You can't be in two places at once."

  Gretchen held up the printed copy of my course load for UCLA fall semester.

  "You said that last semester, remember?"

  "Yeah, but this is crazy." She looked at the schedule again like she couldn't believe her eyes. "Why do you feel like you have to finish so fast, anyway?" I swiped it out of her hands, smiling.

  "Don't let it stress you out, Gretch. I'll be fine, I always am."

  "I'm not saying you won't pull it off, you just won't have time for a life."

  "I never have time for a life."

  "Exactly. I feel like it's my duty as your assistant and friend to remind you that you're only twenty."

  "I know, but I love my job and I love school, so it's no big deal."

  "You may love a night with the girls, too, but do you try that? No, you don't. You come here and you go to school and you barely have time to breathe in between."