If You Deceive mb-3
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She reluctantly let him. "But I haven't eaten more than a regular meal."
"Which is still much more than you're accustomed to right now."
When he led her, grumbling, to a seat at the empty dining table, she stared over her shoulder at the food. He again experienced that tightness in his chest, the same he'd felt when she'd been about to cry over her apple.
"Lass, there's more where that came from. You doona have to behave like it's your last meal."
She laughed without humor. "Spoken like a man who's never missed one."
Chapter Eighteen
The Scot hadn't even raised a brow when tray after tray of food had arrived—fruit, pastries, lobster, salads, and a trio of desserts. Surveying all the dishes she'd just enjoyed, she realized he'd been right—the apple had been such a worthy sacrifice.
Yet Maddy had been suspicious when he'd wanted to dinein his room and had almost fled with the ring. Then she'd concluded that he didn't want to be in the restaurant because of his face, which was understandable, considering how extensive the scar was. She couldn't believe he'd hidden his true appearance from her that first night—willfully hidden it, even as he'd taken her.
He brought her glass of champagne to her seat at the table. Though she was already light-headed, he'd drunk nothing. She'd noticed before that he seemed to favor one side, and now he sat gingerly on the bed as though he was in pain.
"You told me you've lived alone since you were fourteen," he said. "I'm curious to know how you pay for rent and food."
"You mean, if tonight's performance was any indication." She'd lost more than she'd made—until the Scot had given her adiamond ! Unfortunately, it would be difficult to sell promptly for its true value. And she needed money immediately. But then, she'd already snared a gold watch from his bag and some silverware from the dinner settings.
He wisely said nothing to her comment. She wasn't keen on answering his questions, but she figured she'd have to until she could either eat more or pocket more of the silver. "Sometimes I deal cards and sell cigarettes at a café near Montmartre." She shrugged as she drank. "If not that, then I run a shell game at fairs or bet themutuels on the side."
"I saw the book by your bed. Doona tell me you consider yourself a Bohemian."
"Not at all. The book is recent and set in a neighboring quarter. I was merely picking up tips on getting things for free. I have no sympathy for them, even the ones who are poorer than I am." She absently murmured, "Do you know how hard you would have to work to be poorer than me?" Shaking her head, she said, "Many of them purposely leave their wealthy families to come starve in La Marais."
"Quin told me your mother and stepfather live in St. Roch. Did you no' do the same by leaving?"
"My reason for leaving St. Roch had nothing to do withpretension . And it's a matter I don't wish to discuss."
"What kind of woman lets her daughter live in the slum?"
Maddy set her glass down and rose, turning toward the door.
He lunged for her wrist, moving swiftly for such a big man. "Just wait," he said, gritting his teeth as though in pain.
She glared at his hand. "I've told you I don't want to talk about it."
"I will no' bring it up again." He released her and she swished back to her chair, resuming her drinking. "But I wonder that you're so inclined to leave when you've no' even heard why I'm here."
"Yes, your 'proposition.' I'm quite certain I know what it is. You as much as told me so that night."
"Aye, I'd thought about setting you up as my mistress. And it seems you might have waited in London until I returned, if this life was what you faced."
"I didn't want to be your mistress. That would mean I would have to repeat the actions of that night." She shuddered. "I think I might rather die. The only way I'd ever endure that again is in marriage—"
"Then it appears I'll be marrying you," he grated.
She gave him a look of pure disgust. "I have had a day like no other, MacCarrick. I really don't need to sit here and listen to this."
"What if I told you I came here specifically for you? To collect you and take you to Scotland to wed?"
"I'm in no mood for your jesting." She stared at his impassive face with dawning horror. "Oh, Lord, you're…serious.Marriage is what you've decided needs to be done with me?" In a panicked tone, she said, "I only mentioned marriage because I was certain you'd violently balk again!"
He glowered at that, then seemed not to know how to proceed, running his hand over the back of his neck.
"You actually thought I'd welcome your proposal?" she sputtered in disbelief. The arrogance! "You looked at my 'hovel' and thought I'd weep with joy and consider you my savior. Should I fall to my knees?"
"I think no,' else all that silver stowed in your skirt pocket will clink about like chimes."
She quirked an eyebrow. She didn't get detected often, and she'd been careful tonight. He was good. "I don't know what you're talking about."
To his credit, he didn't press that subject, instead returning to the proposal. "It would make sense that you might be pleased to receiveany offer of marriage."
"You told me you wouldnever be moved to marry." She made her tone woeful. "Oh, if only I'd listened! Then I wouldn't have tried to trap you seconds later."
"Things have changed. Recently I was injured, and it brought my life into focus. I have a title, and I've realized I need an heir, so I must marry."
"What's your title?"
"I'm an earl in Scotland. The Earl of Kavanagh."
"Planning to make me acountess ?" she breathed with wide eyes. "How novel! I'venever heard that one in Montmartre."
"It's true."
"And why would you choose me?"
"None of my options seemed enticing, and then I thought of you. After I asked around and learned much about you, I determined we would suit. You're known to have a steady, practical personality, and to be intelligent."
"You could make a much more advantageous match."
"You underestimate your charms."
"No, I don't. I know I'm pretty and intelligent, but I have no connections—and no dowry. In case you haven't gathered, I'm abysmally poor."
"I have no need of connections and have more money than either of us could possibly spend in a lifetime. I can choose my bride based only on if I find herpretty andintelligent ."
She quirked an eyebrow at that. "Why do you thinkI would actually haveyou ?"
"You told me at the masquerade that you wanted to marry a man with money. I have money. You told me you wanted an expensive ring, and I've given you one worth a small fortune. You'll be a countess and have more wealth and homes at your disposal than you've dreamed of."
Homes and wealth? Countess?Was this odd Scot genuine? Hadn't she just begged for one break? One pause in the endless series of heartaches?
And then this MacCarrick just happened to show up at her door, proposing?
No! Gifts don't fall from heaven like this! Not for me. Something is off!
"All you have to do is leave Paris with me. I'll wed you in Scotland."
"Why not marry here inla ville lumière ?" In a dry tone, she said, "You're clearly such a romantic, and thisis Paris…"
"Because I'm the laird of my clan, and I'm expected to marry at the MacCarrick seat with a grand wedding for all the clan to enjoy. And marrying in front of witnesses from my county in Scotland will help ensure my children inherit without challenge." When she remained unconvinced, he quietly said, "Money, protection, a life of ease are all within your grasp. Marriage to me is that repulsive a proposition?" He absently dashed the back of his hand over his scar.
"Yes, and before you begin thinking it's because of your face"—he dropped his hand, seeming surprised he'd been touching it—"I'll ask you to hark back to your behavior that night. You ruined what could have been,should have been, wonderful. I thought I had a firm grasp of what cruelty was, but you educated me further."
"It was no' that bad—"
The black look he gave her was rewarding. "Given the chance to do things over, I'd have done them differently."
"Is that supposed to be an apology?"
"I doona believe in apologies. Instead, I'm offering you a future, which is more valuable."
"That night, you kept going even though I was hurt."
"I dinna know—"
"You mean to tell me that an experienced man of the world couldn't tell when a woman beneath him is in pain and on the verge of sobbing?"
Did he stifle a wince? "You had a mask on. I could no' see your tears. And I swear to you, I stopped as soon as I realized."
"Right. And then you…you finished what you'd started, adding to the humiliation."
"I dinna intend to humiliate you. That was…involuntary."
She frowned. "Involuntary? What does…?" She trailed off, feeling herself flush at the notion of him overcome with lust. "Oh. Well, the fact remains that even when you realized, you almost didn't stop."
"But I did. And one day you'll understand just how goddamned difficult that was." He looked to the right of her and said absently, "It's hard for you to imagine because you were feeling pain, but I was no'." His brows drew together as if remembering the encounter right then—an idea that made her shiver. "I was feeling more pleasure than I had in years."
"Then whydid you stop?"
"I dinna want to hurt you." He turned back to meet her eyes. "I suppose that means I'm no' yet thoroughly beyond redemption."
"Redemption? I hope you didn't come here expectingme to redeem you, MacCarrick, because if so, you've chosen the wrong girl."
"No, I came here expecting you to marry me." Raking his heated gaze over her, he said, "And I think I got her right."
Chapter Nineteen
Ethan was confounded by how much shewasn't jumping at this opportunity.
"So how rich are you? As rich as Quin?"
"No. Quite a deal more than Quin."
Instead of being pleased by this, her face turned cold. "You're rich, titled, and not too terribly old. You could have anyone you wanted. Yet you chose a dowryless girl you don't know?"
Too terribly old?"I've already explained this."
"And I don't accept your explanation. Something is wrong with you or your situation, and you're hiding it. You chose me, a foreign girl, so I wouldn't have heard about unsavory predilections or tales of gin-swilling or shaky finances—"
"I doona drink liquor. My finances are solid." He wondered why he sounded so fierce about this, when he had no intention of marrying her. "And the only unsavory predilection I have is that I plan to use you well, until we're both spent, every single night."
Her face screwed up into an expression of distaste. "Would you really want me, knowing that the only reason I'd accept a man like you is because I'd rather forgo hunger pangs and torture by henchmen?"
"Does no' matter why. Just that you do."
"It doesn't feel right to me. I know how aristocratic lords are—there'salways something wrong, always some secret." Though he wouldn't have thought it possible, he realized she was more cynical than he was.
In a deliberate tone, he asked, "Are the reasons why I have no' made a match no' obvious?"
"Because of your foot-long scar?" She rolled her eyes.
"Damn it, witch, it's no' that long," he said between gritted teeth.
"Maybe it's not if you measure end to end, but if you trace every turn, it is."
How badly he'd wanted a woman to acknowledge the scar, to get the awkwardness out of the way. And here this chit was looking him in the eyes, facing him fully, discussing it—but not in any manner he'd ever imagined. "You're daft."
With a huff of irritation, she crossed to his spot on the bed. She lifted a knee to the edge, tilting her head as she studied his face. She smelled of strawberries and sweet woman, and his cock shot harder. He was struggling not to clutch her waist and roll her to the bed—
She…touchedhis scar.
Biting her lip, concentrating, she traced her finger along it.
A beautiful woman was touching his face—analyzingit. The mark was disgusting—why wasn't she repelled?
When she apparently couldn't get the length she'd claimed, shetugged on his face. He willed himself not to snatch her hand away, anxious to see what she would do next.What will she say? What will she call me…?
At last, she simply seemed to grow bored with it. "Well, perhaps I was wrong," she conceded. "But the scaris big—very big. How did you get it? Did it hurt?"
"Of course, it bloody hurt," he snapped, reminded as ever that she was the daughter of the one who'd dealt him that blow.
She drew back from him, the intimacy lost. Then assuming a haughty expression, she clucked her tongue. "Running with scissors, Scot?"
"One day, I'll tell you all about it," he lied.
She huffed back to her spot on the floor and mouthed, "Big" to him before plucking up another strawberry.
"Well, thank you for dinner and the ring," Maddy said half an hour later as she rose to leave. "Both proved agreeable."
"Madeleine, the watch you've pocketed belonged to my father's father. You canna have that one, but I'd be glad to get you another."
She jutted her chin up, digging for it and tossing it on the bed.
"And you managed to get that candle holder you were eyeing into your pocket, too?"
Deuce it, how had he seen her?
"Commendable,sionnach ."
"What does that word mean?"
"It means 'fox.' That's what you remind me of."
"Do you know what you remind me of? A wolf in sheep's clothing. Tonight you've been more civil, but it's obvious to me that it's a strain on you. It's not your nature."
"Aye, that might be true," he said, surprising her with his honesty. "I'm no' polite, nor am I one for wooing and compliments. I say what's on my mind whether a lady's in the room or no', but—"
"But if I look past the tarnished surface," she interrupted in a saccharine tone, clasping her hands to her chest, "there's a good man beneath? Just waiting for the right woman to turn him around? Tell that to Blue-Eyed Bea. She believes it again and again. I do not." She put her hand on the doorknob.
"No, I was no' going to say I'm a good man. I canna make that claim. And I doona believe a man can change his nature. But I was going to point out that I'm likely the best you're going to get. I will no' ever strike you, you will never want for anything, and you will never have to back down to anyone again. There's a reason you have no' asked the Weylands for help. You're prideful. Why no' go back to England as their equal?"
"On the surface, this seems logical." So why did she feel like she was about to pocket a scarf and a hidden gendarme was watching her every move? She suddenly narrowed her eyes, suspicion flaring. "You've never asked me about my proposal, the one I told you I had waiting in the wings."
"It was obvious to me that you had no' and would no' accept him if you were still living in poverty, and the last thing I wanted to do was remind you of another candidate."
"No, I was ready to accept him, buthe refusedme . After waiting for so long, he was suspicious of my virtue."
MacCarrick's brows drew together. "Do you think I could possibly have something to do with that? Of course, I wrote him of my conquest." When she remained unconvinced, he said, "Which begs the question: Why did you keep him waiting?"
"I had a bad feeling."
Instead of scoffing, he nodded and said, "Do you have a bad feeling now?"
"I don't know." She couldn't tell. She was exhausted, bewildered, and probably drunk. She didn't think she should believe him, but if she trusted her instincts…"I just need some time to think about all this."Am I doing something to
leave myself vulnerable? "It's a big step."
He ran his hand over his face. "Then at least stay here. What happens if you get caught by those henchmen? They'll take you straight to their boss."
"Inever get caught." That wasn't true. She had been caught several times, but no one had ever made it to the police station with her in tow.
When she opened the door, he quickly rose, and his hand shot to her elbow. "Going out into the night again? That is out of the question." He seemed alarmed at the idea of her escaping him. "Damn it, Madeleine, would it be so terrible to have a man take care of you? To protect you?"
Protect?She swallowed, the image of the ladies in the boulangerie flashing in her mind. Had the dream ever been this close…?
"I'm no' leaving Paris without you, lass." Softening his tone, he said, "You're going to be mine—I doona know what I have to do to effect that, but it must be so."
Maddy knew men. They could feign love and affection easily, yet jealousy, when absent, was hard to conjure. She'd noted the look of rage on MacCarrick's face when the man had asked if he was done with her. She'd seen how swiftly he'd pulled his gun.
He was possessive already.So why am I so afraid of this? She could establish parameters to protect herself, limit her vulnerabilities.
De mal en pire. From bad to worse. Was she afraid to take this chance because she didn't trust him—or because La Marais had already beaten her?
Never.Fortune favors the bold.
And that's when she knew she was going to go along with this. "I will consider your proposal."
He exhaled and schooled his features, but she'd seen he was relieved—very much so.
"But I have some conditions…."
Chapter Twenty
"The hell we're no' having sex till we're married!"
"I'm in earnest, Scot. I won't make the same mistake twice."
He'd just been fighting an overpowering sense of relief that she was staying when she'd thrown these ridiculous conditions in his face. "I will no' question you about your past, and, aye, I'll be faithful to you. Fine, I agree to those conditions. As for your wanting to start a family right away—then, aye, God willing," he baldly lied. "I'll certainly do my part to contribute. But the fourth condition is unacceptable. I've a man's needs, and they will no' simply disappear during our engagement—"