About Time

by Danielle Torella

  I know I should pull away, but this … this is…

  His lips are warm and soft on mine, he is eager but slow and doesn’t move at first. I don’t know what I should be doing with my hands if anything other than pushing him away, but my arms feel like they have been filled with lead. His left hand has moved to my back while the right is now supporting the back of my neck as he presses into me for more pressure. Then he starts to move his lips and oh my lord.

  I don’t think I have ever been kissed this way. I follow his movements and my body starts to feel like mush and I start to slump. Justin must have noticed, because his grip on my back tightens. My breathing becomes erratic and heavy. Just as I am about to pull away for a breath to clear my head he parts his lips and I can feel his hot tongue brush my bottom lip begging for entry. I am so overcome with emotions and sensations I can feel hot tears start to prick my eyes. I part my lips ever so slightly and he takes his opening, darting his tongue into my mouth finding my tongue. I taste him and he tastes divine, almost better than the purest form of honey I have ever tasted. The tears in my eyes spring free and run down my cheek. Justin slowly pulls away and wipes it away with his thumb. “I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?”

  Where to begin with that question?

  “No, not at all. It’s me.”

  He dips is head to make better eye contact with me. I have to wipe away another stinging tear from my eye. “Look Margot, I know you have a guy, but I’ll be fucked if he has ever made you feel the way I just made you feel and I know you felt something.”

  I wasn’t going to lie to him, “I did and that’s what feels so wrong.”

  His eyes go from worried to sexy, “But how did it make you feel? Not how it should make you feel. I want to know.” His tone is steady and stern and sexy as hell. I feel a tight clench in my belly. My face goes pink as he smirks. “That’s what I thought, but I want to hear it.”

  “It felt amazing. I don’t think I have ever been kissed like that before.” I admit to him and I can’t believe I did either.

  “Good.” He leans in again and whispers, “That won’t be the last time I make you feel good.” He kisses my ear lobe and I go flush. “That’s a damn promise.”

  My knees are feeling weak and my stomach is fluttering. I don’t know if I should skip off or run to throw up. On one side I just kissed another guy while being in a relationship with Josh, but the other…I just got kissed by a sexy, rockin’ body, funny and sweet guy.

  I find my footing and I pull back, I don’t say anything because I don’t know what I should say, so I smile and start to lead us out of the library. Outside I lock the door, “Thank you for helping me out tonight,” I adjust the strap of my bag on my shoulders.

  “I meant what I said Margot. I don’t plan on letting you just write this off. You deserve to feel good and I want to be that guy who makes you feel good.”

  “I appreciate that more than you know, but…”

  “You have a guy.” He snaps at me. I feel a little shy now and awkward now. “So what?”

  “So what? So what, is that I am not a cheater.”

  “Break up with him.” He says matter-of-factly.

  I fidget with my hands and look all around, because I am flustered. “How can you ask me to do that? We haven’t known each other more than a week or so. Haven’t really talked till now and you expect me to just break up with my boyfriend? You don’t know me!” I don’t normally raise my voice, but you know what? The nerve of this guy to swoop in, make me melt, kiss me like that and then demand I break up with Josh. I have been through a lot and when I say a lot I mean a whole hell of a fucking lot!

  “But that’s why I want you to end it with him so I can get to know you, all of you,” His eyes travel from my eyes, down my body and back up again. “And I don’t want there to be this … thing hanging over you or us when we spend time together.”

  “Why are you assuming that we will be spending time together in the future, like that?” He knows what I mean.

  “Because you can’t kiss me back like that and not expect me to want to.”

  People are starting to come out of the coffee shop next door and I don’t want to overhear us so I pull him to the back lot where my car is parked. The sky is filling with pink, orange and lavender tones for the impending dusk. There is a light cool breeze coming up off the water and I can feel the tingling sensation that Justin is sending me by watching me walk in front of him. I know his eyes are devouring me. I have never been pursued like this before. I don’t know how to handle it. I have never been asked out like this. The men in my past have just taken.

  “I want your number so I can call you.”

  “Well I am not going to give it to you.” Damn Margot, that was a bit harsh and feisty. I practically feel my backbone straighten as I take the lead in this situation. He has to know that he cannot boss me around like this. “I have been bullied all my life and I am not about to let you think you can control me.” My hands on my hips and I purse my lips. My heart is racing and I am praying to God that I can keep this strength act up for just a little bit longer.

  He steps in closer and I don’t budge.

  That’s right girl keep your footing.

  He is toe to toe with me and he looks down, without bending and I peer up at him without moving my head either. “You want to play hard to get?”

  “Why are you being so different? You were to funny and sweet at the music store.” I have to ask, because this mood swing is throwing me through a spiral.

  He puts a hand on my arm, but lightly, “I am still here, but it seems as though the funny sweet guys don’t get the girl they really want. They get friend zoned right off the bat and I knew the look you were giving me earlier and I knew I was being placed in that zone. I want you to know that I cannot be friends with you. That isn’t enough for me.”

  “I am sorry, but that is all that I can offer you.” I turn to unlock my car door and my phone rings. I ignore it, because that’s the text tone I set for Josh.

  “Is that him?” he looks to my bag. I nod. “Shouldn’t you look at it if he’s so worth your time and I’m not?”

  I turn back and I must have puppy dog eyes, because that remark hit my heart and I feel instantly like crap for the things I said to him. “I didn’t mean to sound like that. You are a great guy…”

  He turns and kicks the gravel as he does. He throws his hands in the air and then back to his head, which he tosses back. He stops and crosses his huge arms over his chest and I can see some more tattoos on the backs of his arms. Watching him to see what he is going to do next he growls, “But not the guy.”

  “Justin, that’s not fair. We just met damn it!”

  He turns and rushes back to me before I can suck in a sharp started breath, he has me pinned to my car, the door open and he has his face right to mine. “Then give me the chance to prove that I am better than whoever that guy is, who obviously wants your attention.”

  My phone keeps going off and instead of trying to call me, Josh keeps texting me. I am getting really pissy about this right now and I don’t know who I am more annoyed with, Josh or Justin. I back up just enough so I can fall into my seat and pull my legs in when I go to grab the door to close it, he stops it with his strong grip.

  “Drive safe.” Is all he tells me and he closes the door for me. He backs up and I start Blue Belle. I pull out of there trying not to kick up stones and hurt him, but fast enough to get the hell out of there. I realize that I am not headed towards home when I leave. I don’t know where I am going, but I don’t want to be anywhere that makes me think about Josh or Justin right now. I’m sitting in silence in the car with the windows down, just taking it the beautiful sky. I decided this is a great time to head to the beach to my spot.

  I get there and it isn’t too terribly packed and I park in a front spot. I always have a backup bag in my trunk that holds a suit, towel, and back up book. I grab a pair of sunglasses from my back seat and climb out. I keep m
y head held high, because this is one place where no one can get to me. This is my place. I round the car to the trunk and grab the back up. I make my way into the smelly ladies room and carefully change into my suit, without touching anything. I exit in a rush, because it is just gross. I make my way across the beach and head to my seclusion.

  I reach my desired location and look around to make sure no one is around to bother me and I am in the clear. I smile and layout my blanket and lounge out on my back propped up on my elbows. I let the evening sun wash over me and the breeze skim my skin. The backup suit is a little smaller and more on the string site. Not something I would choose to wear. That’s why it is the designated suit. It is a dark plum color with gold clasps and little golden beads on the ends of each string.

  I consider pulling my hair up into a bun, but I kinda like the way the soft breeze is blowing it across my shoulders and maybe with it down it will act as a slight cover over my body. I don’t have body issues, I am pretty content with the way I look. I am lean and fit. I have some muscle, but I can’t tell you the last time I actually worked out. After talking to Justin about how he helps people transform themselves inside and out with exercise and good diet, it makes me want to try a little better. Except I refuse to give up my honey and my baking. I don’t eat store bought sweets often at all, but when I bake I am going to eat it. No doubt about it.

  I am thinking about Justin, I don’t want to so I reach for my back up book. It is one I have read a few times already and I don’t care, it’s a good distraction read. And hot. I get a couple chapters in and I decide to roll to my stomach and keep up on my elbows and my feet are up in the air. I am swaying them as I read a steamy scene. I look over the top of the book when I see a pair of feet in front of me. I set the book down and look up through my sunglasses to find Derrek.

  Two guys in one day. This is asking for trouble.

  “Hey Honey Bee.”

  I shift to a sitting position and rest my arms on my bent knees. I look up to him and I smile. Feeling already warm from the outside in from the sun and the sexy scenes I just read I am feeling pretty good. Heady. “Hey yourself.”

  “What are you doing out here at sunset?” He sits down next to me, I don’t object though. He mimics the way I am sitting and looks over his right shoulder at me. He is right though we have maybe a little over half an hour till the sun fully sets and everyone leave the beach.

  “Clearing my head,” I admit.

  “What needs clearing?”

  I toss my book into my bag and he is watching my every movement. I put my sunglasses on top of my head and I rub my eyes. His green eyes are sparkling in the setting sun rays and they are marvelous. They have this way of making me want to be open, to be vulnerable with him.

  Derrek is straight forward with me just like Justin is, but he has this ease about him and I feel like I can tell him anything and I have told him the hard stuff. Not all, but a good start of it.

  It isn’t until he leans back that I see his once again shirtless torso. His head is tossed back and he has a strong jaw and a touch of stubble. I can’t help but pull in my lip and suck on it. I don’t know if it was the book that has me hot and bothered, but Jesus Christ this man makes me think very dirty things. He lifts his head, “Well?”

  “Huh?” I snap my head back to his face. Damn it! He caught me looking at him … again.

  He chuckles and sits up more, “What’s eating at you Honey Bee?”

  “My friend and the guy I am seeing…”

  He nods, but doesn’t get moody about the subject of Josh like it did with Justin. “I am all ears.”

  I shrug my shoulders and start to write in the sand, “Maddy, my roommate is acting strange and well Josh, is being a…”

  “Douche nozzle?” He smirks.

  I squint my eyes and start to nod my head, “Yes, a douche nozzle seems to fit nicely.” I laugh out loud for the first time since everything happened this morning and afternoon with Justin.

  “So, what did douche nozzle do?”

  Well I can’t tell him about the dirty meaningless sex of our relationship. “We had an argument about where I was last night.”

  “Man, I can’t believe that was just last night! It has been a long fucking day today.”

  “I couldn’t agree more. I don’t drink and I feel like I could use one…”

  “Come on then.” Derrek swiftly hops to his feet and holds out his hand for me to take. And you know what I do. Once I am standing I brush off some sand that had been blown on me by the wind. I look back to Derrek and I see a twitch in his shorts and that catches my breath. He only smirks at me and I can feel my nipples harden from his gaze. Oh geez, I bend and grab my towel and wrap it around myself. “Get a cold chill?” He winks.

  I shoot him a warning glance and giggle as I grab my bag.

  I reach my car and I see that he parked a few spots down. How did I not notice his sleek black Dart when I arrived? Oh, that’s right I was too busy with the day’s events running rampant in my mind. “Do you mind if I swing home to change first?”

  “Nah, of course not, although I am not complaining about that lovely suit of yours. You look amazing in purple.”

  I shyly glance away and smile, “Thanks.” He opens the car door for me once I unlock it. “Give me the address of the place and I will meet you there when I am ready.”

  “How about if I just follow you back and wait for you and I can drive us?”

  I chew on the inside of my cheek, I think about what Maddy would think when she got home and saw that my car was here and I wasn’t. And what if she calls Josh? “I’ll follow you.”

  He doesn’t say anything for a moment and I think he can read my thoughts, “Don’t need to give you anything else to answer to huh?”

  “Yeah, kinda. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re ashamed to be seen with me. I get it…” He drops his head and kicks the ground and starts to walk away.

  “Derrek I’m not…”

  He slowly turns back and points at me, “Got ya!”

  I stomp my foot and my towel falls and his smile fades and I can see the muscles in his jaw tense up into tiny balls. I squat down to pick it up but he is already there faster than a blink of an eye and he is kneeling before me holding the towel. His eyes are looking pretty sultry right now and I need to quickly take the towel and get into my car. When I make it back I tell him, “Follow me.”

  I watch out my rear view mirror as his Dart weaves in and out of cars to stay close to my back end, even when the light was going red he would speed into it. My heart would race each time he would do that, I didn’t want him getting into an accident because of me. The sun has dipped away behind the horizon and I see his turn his lights on and I follow the safety protocol. We pull into my small driveway for the converted house turned apartments. Our entry way is inside and is adorned with the big wooden door. I don’t see Maddy’s car so I think I am in the clear to make a quick wardrobe switch and bounce out. I get out of the car and walk over to Derrek who is open his door. What the heck is he doing?

  “Um…”

  “Oh come on we are just friends. You can obviously have friends up right? And it doesn’t look like anyone is home anyways.”

  “Eh…okay but you have to stay in the living room.” I point to his chest and stare daggers at him with my eyes.

  “Scouts honor,” He hold up his index and middle finger. I walk to the door and let us in and walk up the steep set of stairs, “Well this explains the nice ass…” I look back at him and miss a step as I am inclining, he jolts forward and grabs my waist before my face meets the top step. I am turned to my back and he is over the top of me. “Careful, don’t want anything to happen to that brilliant head of yours.”

  His long lean body is out stretched over mine and my chest is starting to heave with the close proximity. We hear the main door open and I crawl out from under Derrek and quickly unlock my door and shoot inside. “Have a seat or help yourself to anything in the
fridge.” I yell back.

  “Thanks.”

  I renegade my closet and I have no clue what to put on. “What should I wear?” I creek open my door and ask him. Better safe than sorry. I don’t hear him at first and when I walk out to see what he is up to, I find him picking a piece of that banana bread I had left over from a little while ago, he must have found it in the fridge. “Uh, that’s a little old, I just haven’t tossed it yet…”

  He looks to me and smile, “Tastes fine, really good actually. Where did you get this?”

  I am still in my suit, so I cross my arms over myself. It’s one thing to be standing on the beach with a suit on, but when you are in a now seemingly smaller apartment alone with a hot as hell man in front of you, you are a little more aware of yourself. “I made it actually.” I smile, feeling confident about my baking skills.

  He takes another little piece off and pops it in his mouth and slowly draws his thumb out of his mouth, between his lips and lightly moans. “Well it is very delicious. This is the kind of baking we need at my families restaurant.”

  “Well I am glad you like it, but I like to just bake for me. It’s something I do to relieve stress.”

  He looks me over again, just as he did on the beach and tells me, “You better get changed, before I’m tempted to show you another stress relieving technique I know of.”

  “Oh.”

  He raises an eye brow and I turn to go back into my room, I get inside and poke my head back out, “What should I put on?”