About Time

by Danielle Torella

  “You do. You just don’t know it yet.”

  I stand up and grab out the large duffel bag I had used when I left north to come here. I step over to my spilled clothes and re-fold them and put them on my bag. I fist my underwear, socks and bras, attempting to keep them from Derrek, but I catch him playfully peeking into my bag as soon as I step away. I can’t help but stifle a laugh.

  I finish with the few things in my closet including the couple pairs of shoes I own. He grabs all of my books and puts them into a garbage bag I told him to grab, “Man, you sure do have a mini library of your own in here don’t you?”

  I shrug, “Just be careful with my babies,” I warn, pointing a finger at him. I pack the last of my toiletries and stand in my room looking around. Derrek puts the mattress back onto the bed frame and that’s that.

  “Ready?” He asks me.

  I bite my lip and nod. “It’s time. I can’t live with this anymore. I will find a place as soon as possible.”

  “So, where to?” He asks me.

  “You can just take me to the library.” I tell him

  He scrunches his forehead, “And why would I take you there exactly?”

  I chew on the inside of my cheek, “Because that’s where I have been staying…”

  He goes to open the front door for me and as soon as I say it he slams it shut before I can even pass through, stopping me from leaving. He moves around me and slams a fist onto the breakfast bar and growls out. He has a stern, angry and sad look on his face. His jaw is set tight and his eyes are on fire. He brings his hands to his face and pushes the heel of his hands onto his sockets. He moves his hands hastily to his hair and pulls hard on it. I have seen him do this before, he is really upset. I didn’t mean to upset him.

  Finally coming back to the entry he joins me, “Why have you been staying there?” His voice is low and nearly a growl, he is controlling himself.

  I fiddle with my hands and look down, “Because I couldn’t stay here with Maddy and her mood swings and guests and Mrs. Brown has a twin upstairs in one of the extra rooms…”

  He steps in close to me, I can just feel the brushing of our bodies and that probably, because my breathing has hitched. Not touching me he says, “No. You’re coming home with me.”

  “But, the libr…”

  “With me,” He growls and his hands reach for my shoulders then I feel his strong hands kneading my neck. I won’t show that it feels good. I can’t give in. “I’m already pissed off that you didn’t call me to help you out. I would have had you in my home a long time ago.”

  I hear the lock being turned and the door pushed open. I stay close to Derrek as we move back. I see Maddy step through and she must not see me right away. “What a fucking mess. You better help me clean this up, God knows she won’t.” Then I see Josh following her in.

  “Well after what she saw last night…” He starts. Once they close the door they see us.

  Derrek grabs my hand and grips it. I think he is telling me that he is not leaving and that he has me. I step in closer to him, feeling comfort, but his body is rippled with anger and he is going to pop.

  “I’m just getting my things and leaving.” I tell Maddy. I have nothing I want or need to say to her at this point. I have no reason.

  “Of course. See I told you she wouldn’t help clean up…” She elbows Josh in the stomach.

  Derrek steps forward, “You are a soulless bitch aren’t you?” His tone clipped and devilish.

  “Who the fuck are you?” Josh takes two steps towards Derrek. Seeing the two men together it is staggering on how much larger Derrek is compared to Josh. Derrek has at least four inches on Josh and there is no comparison muscle wise, Derrek wins hands down. Looking at them, I have no idea what I was thinking, thinking Josh was attractive. He looks mousy now and I have a visual of a fox snatching up a little gray mouse and shredding it to pieces. I smile inside.

  “Back off Josh. He is with me, he helped me.” I start.

  “I knew you were seeing someone else. Lying whore.” He seethes at me.

  “Excuse me?” Derrek barks. “You are the one fucking her so called friend!”

  Josh rolls up his Ralph Lauren button down blue shirt and goes toe to toe with Derrek. He has to look up at him, that’s comedic. “Well as you know I am sure, she can’t get off as it is. She is the worst sex I have ever had. She just lays there. I bet she secretly enjoyed being taken by those guys when she was back home…”

  Bam.

  Derrek slams a fist right in Josh’s gut. When Josh stumbles back, Derrek shoves him up against the wall and takes him by his collar. Holding a raised fist at his face Maddy yells for him to stop. I’m sure she is more afraid of Derrek messing up Josh’s face over him getting hurt. I am standing a safe distance away, I have seen physical altercations take place many, many times in the past and I know enough to stay out of the way. I see Derrek’s back muscles heave and ho with his heavy ragged breathing through his thin T-shirt. He is face to face with Josh who has a façade on. He looks like he is tough, but I know him well enough to know that he is nervous. His hands are loose and shaky, not balled into angered fists. His mouth is tightly shut and no cocky grin.

  I think Derrek senses this too and he lets go of Josh’s shirt, but doesn’t step away, “You don’t deserve her. You never did. You took advantage of a girl and you reaped the benefits.”

  “Yeah, what would those be? Because she wasn’t much fun.”

  That’s all it took and Derrek decides to deck him right in the face. “Derrek! Don’t!” I yell out at him. What if this is the last straw for Josh and this is the breaking point? He could be totally done with this secret that he might just blurt it at any given moment. I need to get Derrek out of here.

  When he steps back and turns I see him stretching out his hand, he must have hit pretty hard. I look at Josh and his lip is bleeding, he just scoffs and lightly touches his cracked lip.

  I step to Derrek and lightly touch his arm and persuade him to help with the door so we can finally get out of here. I stop to look back at Maddy, who I gave the benefit of the doubt for so many years. I thought she might straighten out, but you can’t teach an old dog new tricks huh? Well in her case she would only learn how to sucker guys in more and get them to empty their pockets for her. She certainly has Josh for that now. I doubt she needs a roommate any longer.

  When she doesn’t say anything and just turns to care for Josh that tells me everything that I need to know. She was never truly there for me. Looking at Josh I hope to find an answer in his eyes, what he plans to do. He cocks a slanted smile and I know I’m in trouble.

  Down stairs Derrek pops open his trunk and lifts my few bags into it and closes the lid. I never thought that when I moved out, it would be like this all over again. “How’s your hand?” I ask him when he has to put the car in gear and I notice him wince.

  “I’m fine. I am more worried about you though. That couldn’t have been easy. I know you’re tough, but come on, that was sickening. And to think those people were supposedly the only ones you could rely on.” He rests his hand on my knee.

  “Honestly, I don’t think I have any more energy to even think or feel.”

  He pulls off to the side of the road and puts his four ways on. He unbuckles his seat and turns his entire body to face mine, “That’s why you are coming home with me. I told you it would happen one day. Let me take care of you.”

  “I can take care of myself. That’s why I told you to just take me to the library.” I know I am being stubborn, but I have to be. I don’t need someone to take care of me, I have been taking care of myself my entire life.

  He growls and his hands find me and he holds my face for a moment. I have a pang in my chest and it’s all hitting home. “Don’t cry Honey Bee…”

  I didn’t even realize that I had started to cry. That’s how spent I am. Maybe I should just give in a little. Just don’t get attached Margot. I suck in a breath and wipe my eyes, making his hands m
ove. I nod my head, “Fine. Let’s go to your place.”

  “You can take my bed, I’ll sleep on the sofa. You need your sleep.” He is being so generous to me and not taking advantage. Now if Josh ever helped me out with anything, he would expect favors back.

  “I’ll do anything to repay you. I don’t expect to stay with you for free…”

  He cuts me off, “I don’t know why you think you have to repay me, but you don’t and you can stay as long as you need.” I can tell by the look in his eyes that he knows more than well, why I feel like I need to repay him.

  I purse my lips and just nod. We pull into a driveway of a small white house. He lives closer to Atlantic Beach than I had figured, more on the border of Beaufort and Atlantic. It’s a single family home and it’s just big enough for two people. He has a porch light on and his little front porch has a swing. I always wanted one of those, to sit in the swing, drink iced tea and read a good book.

  I follow Derrek up the few steps to his porch, he flings open the screen door and unlocks the front door. Reaching in, he turns on a light and holds the screen door open for me so it doesn’t nip me in the back. I am greeted with a small living room, the room is painted a medium gray shade with white molding. It reminds me of my bedroom, well old bedroom. He has hard wood floors and a dark blue area rug in the center of the room. He has a large black leather sofa and matching recliner, total bachelor style and a glass coffee table. On the coffee table is an empty coffee mug and a newspaper.

  He sees me eyeing the space and he darts over to pick up his rightful mess. “Sorry, I wasn’t exactly expecting company tonight…”

  I wave at him, “It’s fine, really.” I wonder if he cleans up before bringing any women home. I follow him into the kitchen which is a beige color and a round light wood table and matching chairs. He sets his mug and few other dishes that he had grabbed on the way into the sink. He wipes his palms on his jeans and when he looks at me, he appears to be a little embarrassed. It’s enduring.

  “So, this is the kitchen…” He looks around, “Obviously.”

  I nod and look around, “Looks like one.”

  He half laughs and starts to walk down a little hall way, “This is the bathroom…” I peek my head in and it’s bright white and just your basic bathroom. It’s not too big or too small. It has cream and white colored tile and I can’t tell if it’s stone or fake. Then there is an old soak tub up on brass feet. And I melt over it. I love that this old house still has an old tub. This is the kind I have always dreamt of, you can fill those babies to the rim and really soak and the amount of bubbles you can get in there… Mind blowing.

  He takes me to the room next to the bathroom, “This is my room, but yours for the time being. I will change the bedding for you.” He squeezes by me and opens a small linen closet right next to me and I watch him at work. Once his arms are full of sheets and blankets it’s a little more difficult for him to get around me so I’m forced to walk ahead of him. He set the new stuff on a chair next to the window and starts to pull the old bedding off. When he whips the sheets off I get a whiff of his scent thrown directly at me. He smells amazing, even when he sleeps. I close my eyes for a moment. “Oh sorry about that…”

  “What?”

  “They must not smell too great and here I am quaffing it up in the air,” He tells me, as he starts to move slower with the removal.

  I bring a hand to my nose and pinch it closed, “Oh yeah so smelly.” I giggle.

  He throws the pillow at me that he just took the case off of, I catch it and hold out my hand for a clean case. He hands it to me and I continue to help make the bed, until it is all done. I look it over and wonder how many women have stayed here.

  He catches me staring at the bed and steps to my side. He puts an arm on my shoulder, “What’s wrong? Do you need more pillows or another blanket?” He asks looking around the room for more bedding.

  I look down and shake my head, “No, It’s all fine. More than fine.”

  “So, what’s eating you?” He raises an eyebrow.

  I look up into those green eyes, “You really want to know?”

  “I do.” His face and tone a little more serious now.

  “I was just thinking, well more like wondering how many women have stayed with you in this bed.” My nerves are steady for once, which is a shock to me. With this kind of conversation, I would be pinker than a flamingo.

  He takes a deep breath of air and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. “I’m not going to lie to you, I have slept with a few women and yes here in this bed, but they never stayed overnight. You’ll be the first to actually sleep and wake up here in the morning.”

  I move to stand near him, but resist the urge to sit down. I thought hearing the answer I expected would sting, but it doesn’t. “Do you have sex with a lot of women? I have been hearing rumors…”

  He grunts out a harsh laugh, “Yeah, well don’t believe everything you hear.”

  “I don’t normally.”

  “Then why did you ask?” His eyes are burning into me, as if searching my mind and body for how I truly feel. I hope he can figure it out, because I sure as hell can’t. I shrug my shoulders. “Are you jealous?” He asks.

  I look down and I know I can’t be shy now, shooting my gaze back to him, “Yes.”

  He pulls on my hand and I fall into his lap. I have my arm around his neck and I get a heady feeling with his scent, I think it’s sandalwood. His touch and his hard body holding mine is a bit much. When I look him in the eyes he tells me, “Not tonight and probably not tomorrow. Hell, I would be lucky to even have you want to be mine. But when you do and I know you will, it will be for the right reasons and the right time. I’m not seeing anyone or fucking anyone. All I want is you.”

  He stands me up, leaves the room and comes back with my bags. “If you want to take a shower there are clean towels in the closet, help yourself to anything you need.”

  Just like that he turns on the cold water and I am left on shaking ground. “Thanks, I think I will take that shower maybe it will help me relax a little.”

  He smiles and runs his hand through that glorious hair of his and then puts them in his pockets, “I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.”

  He walks out of the room and I open my bag to pull out my shampoo and favorite wash. I go to grab my razor and I seemed to have left it behind. I groan and roll my eyes, this is not a good night. I walk out to the hall and pull out a towel then pad lightly out to the living room. “Hey, I forgot my razor, do you have an extra I can borrow? I’ll pay you for it.”

  He get up from the chair, “No need, I have plenty.” He steps into the bathroom and opens his medicine cabinet, “Here ya go.”

  He hands me a fresh razor form a pack. “Thank you.” He playfully salutes me and marches out of the bathroom. I close the door, walk to the beautiful tub and run my fingers along the cool edge. I close the shower curtain and turn the nob to hot. I start to remove the clothes I have on since God knows when, I don’t even know what time it is right now. I fold them and when I look up to the mirror it is already steamed over, thank goodness for hot water. I take my hair down and lift one leg into the tub then the next.

  Closing the curtain I just stand under the hot pressure of the shower head. I turn and let is ease my back muscles and I try to clear my mind. Impossible. Let’s see where to begin? Meeting Josh’s bitchy mother, him copping an attitude, running into Maddy and Michael which now really sucks, because I am sure Ms. Datton will be asking about it. Then there’s Justin, the bout, Derrek’s kiss, the girls. More of Josh’s drinking then him fucking me. Walking in on Josh and Maddy, the trip to the ER, my apartment being broken into and stuff stolen. And all of that not even being in order I am sure, I can’t even get it all straight.

  I wash my hair quick and shave my legs and arm pits. I turn off the water and grab the towel, I hold it up to my face and breathe it in. It smells good, most guys can’t do laundry to sav
e their lives and it seems as though Derrek actually uses fabric softener. The smell is soothing and I know I need to go to sleep now. I unfold the gray towel and wrap it around myself, grabbing my stuff to take with me. I don’t want to burden him with girl stuff. I go down the hall and into his room. I close the door and dry myself off, toss my sleep shirt on and a pair of shorts. I brush out my hair and braid it back. I hear a knock on the door. I open it to find Derrek holing a steaming mug.

  “What’s this?” I ask him.

  His breathing shutters and he looks me up and down. The way he looks at me makes me feel shy and vulnerable, but in a good sense. My already warmed up body oddly gets goose bumps. He holds up the mug, “Tea.”

  I smile and reach for the mug, “Thank you, that’s very kind.”

  He holds up a finger and brings forward his other hand that was behind his back, “Here you go,” He opens his hand to reveal honey packets. I bring my hands to my mouth and cover it. I actually am getting choked up on honey packets. “Hey, hey don’t get upset.” He steps in to close the gap, “I just know how much you like honey with your tea…”

  “That’s why I am choked up. No one remembers thing about me. I know you just found all of that out not long ago, but it means something to me. And thank you,” I take the packets and sit down on the bed. He joins me and takes the mug so I can squeeze a couple into my hot tea.

  “Oh a spoon, hold on…” He slow jogs to the kitchen and I can hear him open and close a drawer. He sits back down and hands me the metal spoon.

  “Thank you.” I stir and take a sip, “Is this Twinnings?”

  He raises an eyebrow, “It is…”

  “It’s my favorite. English Breakfast.” I inhale the steam and take another sip.

  He looks down, yeah I don’t normally drink hot tea, but after trying it at the diner I thought I would pick some up and give it a chance.” He tilts his head and grins at me.

  My heart clenches at his boyish smile.