Mustaches for Maddie

by Chad Morris

  Ask who what? My mind had to think for a second. Ask someone about Disneyland? No. Ask the doctor when I was going to have surgery on my brain? Ask if I was going to die? Did she know? How would she know?

  “Did you ask Devin?” Cassie whispered, obviously seeing my confusion.

  Oh, yeah. My secret mission. “Not yet,” I said.

  “Why not?” Cassie asked. She was giving me her “I’m the boss, and I’m disappointed in you” face. Maybe we weren’t best buds yet. “You’ve had lots of time.” She sounded like a mom getting after her kid who hadn’t cleaned their room. Maybe Cassie’s mom talked like that.

  “Um. Because I was in the hospital all day yesterday and found out that I have some giant tumor in my head messing up my brain and my eyes and the left side of my body like a monster watching and waiting to gobble me up, and I might die.” That was the best excuse in the universe.

  But I didn’t say it.

  I couldn’t.

  “Sorry,” I said, opening the door to go outside. Cassie walked out first. I followed. “I’ve been really busy. But I did find out that I’m going to Disneyland.”

  “Really? Oh.”

  Not quite the reaction I was looking for.

  “Well,” she said and gave out one of her little huffs, “ask Devin soon because I want you to hang out with me, but you can’t until you ask him.” Then she gave me a big painted smile.

  “Okay,” I said. I didn’t know what else to say.

  Cassie continued toward the walking path, the other girls following. I lagged behind. At least she wanted to hang out with me. I guess that was something on my terrible day-after-I-found-out-I-had-a-tumor day. But with each step, what Cassie had said felt less and less nice. Why couldn’t she let me hang out with her now? Why did I have to ask Devin first? She had asked me to do it as a favor, but it didn’t feel like that anymore. It was almost like she really was some queen and had banished me from the kingdom until I went on a quest for her.

  Yasmin had been following Cassie, but paused. “Aren’t you coming?”

  “I’ve got to do something,” I said. “I’ll catch up.”

  “Does it have to do with a huge pig-dragon monster?” she asked, a smile on her face.

  “Maybe,” I said with a grin and a wink. I wanted to tell her about my secret mission. I wanted her to help me, but Cassie probably wouldn’t have liked that. I wanted to tell Yasmin about my tumor even more. Maybe she would have something to say, something that would help. Maybe she would hug me and tell me it would all be okay.

  Or maybe she would think I was a freak.

  I didn’t say anything.

  “Okay, hurry and meet us on the track,” she said and ran to catch up with Cassie.

  I didn’t want to do any of it. I wanted to collapse and cry. But I didn’t have anywhere to go. My bed was back home, and I didn’t have a mustache blanket to pull over my head. I could call my mom and she would pick me up. But then what would I do? Worry and cry? I knew I couldn’t sleep. Maybe I could think about Disneyland. No. I knew even that would fade and I would end up depressed.

  It wasn’t my favorite option, but I decided to accomplish my secret mission. At least I would be thinking about something other than my tumor.

  It would be easiest to talk to Devin when I was walking home after school, but I didn’t want to wait that long. My life had been hard enough lately without spending recess alone. I wanted to ask him soon and get back to hanging out with Cassie and Yasmin and the others.

  I knew just where to find Devin: the basketball court. He loved basketball. He always had. He wore an LA Clippers jersey at least once a week. I thought Clippers was a weird name for a basketball team. Were they like haircutters, or did they take care of the lawn? Anyway, Devin even played on some super-­sweet team that went places on the weekends to compete.

  Okay. Go to the basketball court. But I had to get there before they started playing, or I couldn’t ask him ­until . . .

  Too late.

  The boys had already picked teams and started the game. And I wasn’t about to go over there and stop them all to ask Devin who he liked in front of everyone. Then my mission wouldn’t be secret at all. Plus, all the boys would probably think that I liked Devin. Which of course I didn’t. I mean, sure, he’s cute and nice and can be funny, but it wasn’t like when he looked at me his face went all in slow motion and my heart start thumping really fast like in the movies. And I definitely didn’t want everyone else thinking it was.

  Devin dribbled the ball down the court, faked one way, then drove the other toward the basket. When a few guys on the other team tried to defend him, he passed to Ryan, who was wide open for the easy shot.

  Pretty good.

  But now I had to wait until the end of recess and try to “happen” to walk next to him as we went back to class. And I had no one to hang out with.

  “Hey, Maddie,” someone said.

  Who was talking to me?

  I turned to see Lexi looking at me. She was wearing a cute dark blue shirt with a matching bow in her hair.

  “Hey, Lexi,” I said, probably a little too loudly. I was pretty excited not to be alone.

  “Cassie wouldn’t let me hang out with her. You neither?”

  I didn’t want to admit it because I was doing a favor for Cassie. This wasn’t a normal situation. It wasn’t like I didn’t get chosen. Okay. Maybe that wasn’t entirely right, but it felt different than not getting picked.

  “Not today,” I said.

  “Well,” Lexi said, “is it okay if we hang out?” Normally Cassie wouldn’t like that, but I needed someone right now.

  “Sure,” I said. “What do you want to do?” I had to do something to pass the time before the end of recess when I could meet up with Devin.

  “I dunno. The monkey bars?” she asked.

  I almost agreed, but my arm. I used to be good at the monkey bars, but I’d noticed a while ago that I wasn’t anymore. That was actually my first clue that my arm was a little weird. I had avoided them ever since. “How about we pretend we’re trying to cross the Sahara to rescue a kidnapped millionaire before we die of thirst,” I said.

  “What?” Lexi said.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have said whatever crazy thing came into my mind. “We just walk around and talk and stuff.” I shrugged. “Oh, and we can pretend we’re thirsty if we want.”

  Lexi nodded and smiled. I imagined that if I was in Lexi’s shoes, I would love to have someone to be with. New school. Not many friends.

  “So what’s up with you?” Lexi asked.

  An MRI.

  A huge tumor.

  I might die.

  Of course I didn’t tell her.

  “Other than crossing the Sahara and my parched throat? I’m going to Disneyland soon,” I said. I did feel comfortable saying that.

  “Really?” Lexi asked. I guess after the whole desert thing, it was tough to know if I was telling the truth. When I confirmed it was for real, Lexi brightened up. “I’ve never been, but I hear it’s really fun.” That was more of what I hoped Cassie would have said.

  “Yeah. I hope it is.” And I really did. I hoped it was the best vacation ever. One so good that I’d forget all about my surgery. “And I’m pretty excited about the Shakespeare plays. I really want to know what part I have.”

  “Me too,” Lexi said. “I want to be Viola in Twelfth Night.”

  “Oh, she would be great,” I said. “She gets in an awesome mess.” While she’s pretending to be a boy, Viola meets this guy and really likes him. The problem? He thinks she’s just one of the boys. Then the guy sends her with love letters to a different girl. And that girl, thinking Viola is a boy, falls in love with her. A crazy mess. Lexi had good taste.

  “How about you?” she asked.

  I told her about Hamlet or Katherine. I le
ft out the Juliet part.

  “This morning Mrs. Baer said she would announce our parts before the end of the day,” Lexi said.

  Awesome. I could really use some good news after yesterday. “Good,” I said. “And what have you been up to?” I glanced over at the boys playing basketball. Devin was guarding Coby. I wasn’t lucky enough for him to leave to get a drink or want to sit out for a minute.

  “I got to see my dad last night.”

  “Your dad?”

  “Yeah, it’s been a while. I usually go over there every other weekend, but he’s been out of town.”

  Her parents must be divorced. I didn’t know that. I imagined that might be tough, not being with both your parents all the time. I didn’t want to go a week without seeing my dad.

  “So what did you do?”

  “We got some sweet-pork burritos and smoothies. I doubt it’s as cool as Disneyland, but I love smoothies.”

  At least she got to have some fun with her dad.

  “Yay for smoothies. But pork?” I thought of Drago­porkisaur. “Nope to meat. Potatoes are the best.” I looked at the court again. Devin was running beneath the basket with his hand up, calling for the ball.

  “Potatoes are definitely not the best.”

  “What about sweet-potato fries?” I asked.

  “Those aren’t real potatoes, but they are pretty good.”

  “Yes, they are—and yes, they are. Especially since we’re both starving in the desert.”

  Lexi laughed again.

  We walked for a while, and I really liked it. I didn’t have to force anything to say, stuff just came out. And Lexi liked my crazy thoughts, listened, asked stuff back, and played along. I thought Yasmin would like her, too. I didn’t see why Cassie wouldn’t let her hang out with us.

  We were coming up on the basketball court so I checked to see if Devin was still playing. Yep.

  Lexi smirked at me. “Why are you looking over at the boys on the basketball court so much?” she asked.

  She thought I had a crush. I’m sure I turned red. “What? Those aren’t boys. They’re just a mirage.” Good one. My slightly damaged brain thinks fast sometimes.

  “Well, then, why do you keep looking back at that mirage?” Lexi said. “Do you like one of those mirages better than the others?”

  “No. I have to find out who one of them likes,” I said. “For a friend,” I added.

  “Really? So they aren’t just mirages?” Lexi’s eyebrow went up. “Which friend?”

  I thought for a second. “The bandit empress of the dunes,” I said.

  Lexi nodded. “And you aren’t going to tell me who that is, are you?”

  I shook my head, though I wondered if she guessed it was Cassie.

  “So it’s kind of like Twelfth Night,” Lexi said. “You’re the messenger trying to help two people get together.”

  “Yeah. Kind of,” I said. “Except I’m not pretending to be a boy.”

  “But maybe whoever you are asking will fall in love with you instead of whoever you are asking for,” Lexi said.

  “No way.” But I’m pretty sure I blushed.

  “Which boy do you have to ask?” Lexi asked.

  “You mean which mirage? The one that looks like Devin,” I said.

  This time Lexi reddened. We took a few more steps together, but Lexi was fidgety.

  “Do you want me to tell you what I find out?” I asked.

  She smiled big and nodded. I was pretty sure she didn’t want the boy to fall in love with the messenger anymore.

  “Okay,” I said. “But I might need some help.”

  “What do you mean?” Lexi asked.

  “Well, all the boys are always together,” I said. “If you could distract some of them, then I could talk to Devin—or the mirage that looks like him.”

  “I can try,” she said. “But what would I do?”

  “I don’t know.” Maybe she could lead them all into a trap, like quicksand. Or tranquilize them with blow darts. No. That wouldn’t work on mirages. Or she could . . . “Wait.” I actually had an idea. “Ask them who won and who scored the most and stuff like that. Boys like to talk about stuff that makes them seem cooler. Trust me. I have brothers.”

  “But I’m kind of shy,” Lexi said.

  I shrugged. “Me too,” I said. “But I think we can do this.”

  Lexi thought for a second and then nodded.

  The bell rang.

  Recess was over. Time for action.

  “That was awesome,” Cesar said. “I was on fire.”

  “What?” Coby asked. “Were you playing a different game, because that never happened.”

  “Um,” Cesar said, “you must have hit your head while trying to defend me, because it definitely happened.”

  “I think you came closer to hitting my head than the basket,” Coby said.

  I moved behind them on the way back to the school. I had to talk to Devin before we got to class, but I couldn’t do it in front of all of his friends. I passed a few girls playing four square and walked behind the boys.

  Now it was up to Lexi.

  I waited, hoping.

  Hoping.

  They came closer to the door. I looked for Lexi, but I couldn’t see her in the crowd of kids coming back in from recess. What would I do if she backed out?

  “Hey, guys,” Lexi said from the other side of Cesar. “How did basketball go?”

  Wow. She had told me she was shy, but she jumped right in. Impressive.

  “Awesome,” Cesar said. “I was like an all-star, driving and swishing everything I shot. I think I got my personal record for points this recess.”

  “He only hit one basket,” Coby said. “And apparently that’s his record.”

  Cesar swatted him.

  The distraction was definitely working. The other friends soon joined in. Few things are as tempting to a boy as showing off in front of a girl. Devin stepped toward them. I had to act fast.

  I rushed out from behind the group. I was only a few steps away.

  And then it happened. My leg froze midstep, sending me tumbling to the ground, bumbling and crying out as I fell.

  Not in the plan.

  Maybe they didn’t notice. Maybe they were so distracted by Lexi that they would walk past. I looked up, knowing I probably had dirt and blacktop rocks in my hair and across my face. Coby and Cesar erupted in laughter.

  They definitely noticed.

  Devin jogged over to me. “You okay?” he asked, offering me his hand. Boy hands felt weird. His was warm and sweaty. He helped me up easily, maybe even pulling too hard to show how strong he was. I thought about Twelfth Night. That would be awkward—Devin liking me. Well, not completely awkward, but not likely with blacktop rocks on my face. I brushed my cheeks just in case the little rocks were there.

  Cesar and Coby bobbed up and down behind Devin, unable to control themselves.

  “It’s not funny, you two,” Devin said.

  Cesar nodded but let out a snort. And that made Coby snort in return. Double snort. I almost broke out in a laugh at that.

  “So who won?” Lexi asked, trying to save me. The two turned back to her quicker than a crossover dribble. Thank you, Lexi.

  “Sorry,” I apologized to Devin. “I’m pretty clumsy sometimes.”

  Yep, ever since I went up for a backflip dunk and hit both my left arm and leg against the rim while I was rotating, they hadn’t worked so well. Of course, I still made the dunk.

  “Me too,” Devin said. I couldn’t picture that. He was a good athlete. Every move seemed smooth and calculated. He looked over at Lexi, probably making sure his friends weren’t still laughing at me.

  “I have to ask you a question,” I blurted out, trying to get it over with. “Cas . . .” I stopped myself. “Somebody wa
nts me to ask . . .” I tried to clear my throat quietly. I felt sheepish even asking, but I had to do it. Otherwise I couldn’t hang out with Cassie. “Who do you like?”

  Devin blushed, his eyes moving to the side.

  I didn’t expect that, though I’m not sure why. He looked back at me and then over his shoulder at Lexi. His cheeks deepened a darker shade of red.

  “Nobod . . . I don’t . . . I’m not answering that,” he said.

  But I was pretty sure he already had. This was not like Twelfth Night. Devin wasn’t interested in the messenger. It was pretty clear he liked Lexi.

  It bothered me a little. Silly, I know, but whenever I heard that a boy liked another girl I felt a little jealous. Like I was less than she was.

  “What about . . . Cassie?” I asked, trying to sound like I was picking out a random name. I had to be sure.

  “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I mean. She’s pretty and stuff, but no.”

  I nodded.

  Part of me was thrilled for Lexi, but the other part didn’t want to tell Cassie. This was not what she wanted to hear.

  Cassie waved me over to the corner of the room. Everyone was still coming back in from recess, and class hadn’t gotten started yet. Lexi saw that I had talked to Devin, but Cesar and Coby were still telling her about the basketball game.

  “Did you ask him?” Cassie asked me.

  I nodded.

  “And?” She was practically bouncing.

  What was I going to say? “He wouldn’t tell me,” I said. That was technically true.

  “What?” she asked, her expression instantly falling. What had she expected? For him to dramatically confess his love for her? Um, he was a sixth-grade boy. Cassie moved in closer, still talking quietly. “But he doesn’t like Lexi, does he?”

  “What?” I asked. Had she been watching? Had she seen him look at Lexi and blush?

  “Oh,” she said, “I heard Cesar talking to Coby one day. I don’t know for sure if they were talking about Devin or not, but they mentioned that someone liked Lexi.”

  “I’m not sure,” I said and shrugged. Of course I was 97½% sure that Devin did like Lexi.