Home For Christmas

by Patricia Potter

  By now, the major players are probably dead or retired. I am not sure who exactly from the police department and D.A ’s office were involved, and I don’t have any proof that would stand up in court. I hope you will do nothing with this letter, except realize that I have always loved you and tried to protect you in the only way I could. It is something I did gladly and without regret

  But I wanted you and your children to know the truth. I never wanted you to feel you had evil in your background.

  Be happy, my daughter, and know I will always be watching over you.

  Your father,

  Ryan Murphy

  Ryan slowly put it down. He could barely breathe

  He had his answers. Colliding emotions rampaged through his mind. Relief Anger. Regret Hope

  He pushed the letter over to Julie, then stood and walked out the door without another word. He needed time alone to absorb what O’Grady had said, what the letter had explained.

  Cold. Arrogant He’d been all of that. But he’d been more, too He’d loved his daughter and wife He’d loved them enough to spend his life in prison.

  He leaned against a tree, his body bracing against the cold ram which was falling steadily. He blinked to drive the rainwater from his eyes. And the tears. Not for himself, but for the man he’d once been

  Chapter 20

  Julie watched Ryan leave, then looked at the letter he’d pushed over to her She scanned it, then carefully read it agam

  Her heart broke for Ryan and the choices he’d felt he had to make ten years ago Maybe someone else would have made a different one. Maybe someone else would have trusted the system.

  But Ryan had trusted no one but himself And because of Sean O’Grady, she knew why.

  She hurt for the small boy struggling to care for a drug-addicted mother, the boy who’d gone to a foster family and been abandoned a second time Father O’Grady had apparently been his one ally, but he’d also been a reminder of what Ryan had wanted to leave behind. Yet Ryan had gone back time and time again to help others like him, and he’d become a police officer to prevent what happened to him from happening to others

  She thought she would have liked the old Ryan.

  She liked the new one better This one wasn’t shaped by the tragedy that had built unassailable walls around him He had obviously loved his wife and child, he’d just never learned how to show it

  Except by giving up his life, by spending years behind bars for a crime he hadn’t committed.

  Sean—he had asked her to call him that on the drive from Atlanta—had finished reading the letter and he stared sightlessly at the wall. “He should have told me,” he muttered. “I should have insisted. I knew something was wrong. Holy Father in heaven, he couldn’t have done it.”

  “I don’t think it would have helped if you had insisted.”

  She rose and went to the door. She looked outside and saw Ryan standing in the rain, his hands in his jeans. He looked like the loneliest man alive But he wasn’t. Not any longer

  Julie went out in the rain. She worried that he wanted to be alone. She was sure the old Ryan Murphy would spurn company, understanding, compassion.

  Love.

  Instead, he turned to her and opened his arms. And she ran into them.

  He held her tight, as if his life depended on maintaining his grip on her.

  Seemingly out of nowhere, she heard a hard, curt voice, “Get away from him, Julie.”

  Ryan recognized the voice. Jerry Kidder Julie’s detective. He turned and saw the man holding a gun and started to let her go, but she took his hand and held on tight before turning to face the newcomer.

  “Jerry? How did you find us?”

  “I’ve been following you since you got home early this morning. I tried to call you last night. When you didn’t answer, I was afraid Murphy had involved you in some way. When you arrived home early this morning with Nick, I was sure of it.” He shrugged “I followed you to the airport, then up here. I lost you for a while, but then I remembered this place. I decided to try it. Very smart.”

  “What do you want, Jerry?” Her voice was steady, and his hand tightened around her fingers. He remembered her telling him Kidder had once worked for the district attorney’s office His fear was far greater for her than for anything that might happen to him.

  “Banyon died,” Jerry said. “Murphy’s wanted for murder as well as kidnapping.”

  “He didn’t kidnap Nick,” she said.

  “He did shoot Banyon. He’s dangerous, Julie He’s always been dangerous.”

  Ryan listened to the conversation as if they were talking about someone else He was numb from revelations. Numb and drained. And he knew Kidder wasn’t going to believe him. Hope sifted from him like sand through fingers

  “Come inside,” she said. “I want you to meet someone and read a letter.”

  “I’m taking him in,” Jerry said stubbornly. “I’m not letting you risk your life and future for him.”

  “A few minutes, Jerry Please ”

  Kidder hesitated, then reluctantly said, “Ten minutes. Does he have a weapon?”

  “Ask him,” Julie said.

  Ryan thought about lying, about keeping some kind of edge. But he was tired of violence and puzzles and lies He was sick at the trouble he’d brought upon Julie and her son He wouldn’t bring more “It’s m the pocket of my jacket in a closet.”

  Jerry looked at Julie as if she was out of her mind. “Julie, you come over with me. Murphy, face the tree. Do anything stupid, and I won’t hesitate to shoot you ”

  Ryan nodded and stood still as Kidder patted him down. Then, at the detective’s gesture, he walked to the cottage. Kidder stopped when he saw O’Grady. “Who are you?”

  “The priest we were looking for,” Julie said. “Sean O’Grady.”

  “Former priest,” O’Grady said “I wasn’t very good at rules Who are you?”

  Still keeping an eye on Ryan, Kidder ignored O’Grady and went to the closet Looking inside, he found the jacket, then the gun He glared at Ryan as he tucked it into the waist of his trousers, keeping his own aimed at his prisoner “You’ve broken enough laws to never see the light of day again.”

  Ryan didn’t have a reply. Possession of the gun was enough to send him back to prison for life. “I shot Banyon in self-defense,” he said finally

  “Just like you shot Cates?”

  Julie was glaring at Jerry now. “Will you just sit down and listen?”

  Reluctantly, Jerry sat down. “Eight minutes”

  Julie pushed the letter over to him. “Father...Mr. O’Grady was given this letter by Murphy two days after he confessed He wanted it delivered to his daughter on her twenty-first birthday.”

  Jerry read it once, then again. His right hand continued to hold the gun when he looked up. “Tell me what happened with Nick.”

  Ryan repeated everything that had happened, from the phone call to his decision to run.

  When he’d finished, Jerry looked over at O’Grady. “You came all the way from California to deliver the letter.”

  “Ryan’s one of my boys,” the former priest said simply

  “Maybe he lied in the letter,” Jerry replied. He was obviously reluctant to give up his suspicions.

  “A man who killed his partner wouldn’t care what his daughter thought sixteen years later,” O’Grady said slowly.

  “There’s more,” Julie said. “Sean, tell him about Ryan’s mother, the money he gave you.”

  After listening for several more moments, Jerry lowered his gun and set it on the table. He swore softly, glancing at O’Grady as if expecting condemnation. “What did you plan to do now?” he finally asked Julie.

  “Talk to you,” Julie said. “Do you know who Sandy might be?”

  Jerry was silent for a moment, then said slowly, “Chief Lewis. I knew him when he was a detective. They called him that because of his sandy hair. Then he was promoted and his hair turned white prematurely. Everyone just called him ‘the
old man.’”

  “Except for close friends,” Julie whispered.

  Jerry nodded. “But there isn’t enough here to convict him or prove Murphy innocent.” He added, “I’m not even sure he is.”

  “Yes, you are,” Julie said with just a hint of a grin

  Jerry shook his head. “What do you want, Julie?” Then he sighed. “What in the hell am I saying? I can lose my P.I. license just by being here, and you and the good father here could go to jail. We’re all crazy.”

  Ryan watched the detective’s eyes flick from him to Julie. He was obviously in love with Julie, had come charging in like a white knight, only to find he was expected to help the dragon rather than the endangered maiden. Kidder wasn’t a happy man.

  Could he even accept help? Could he endanger all of them? He started to voice his belief he should just turn himself in, but Jerry stopped him in midsentence. “Forget it, Murphy. You can’t stop Julie once she makes up her mind, and she’s right about one thing. She and Nick are in danger now, and will be until this comes to an end They have to believe she knows too much, and they have to worry that Nick will recognize Banyon’s photo.”

  It was the only argument that could have pierced Ryan’s determination to surrender and end Julie’s involvement.

  They spent the next two hours plotting.

  Julie called William Lewis the next day. O’Grady would stay over and look after Nicholas for the next several days. He was an old prize fighter as well as a baseball player, he said. God help the man who tried to hurt the boy, and Nicholas had taken to the older man with twinkling eyes as readily as he had to Murphy.

  When Lewis accepted her call, she knew the battle was half won.

  “I’ve discovered information that will exonerate Ryan Murphy of his partner’s death,” she said “Since you were his captain, I thought I should bring it to you.”

  “Where is he?”

  “I can’t talk over the telephone,” she said “Can you meet me tomorrow for lunch? I don’t think it’s wise to talk at the station ”

  He suggested a downtown restaurant and she agreed It would be a lifetime She knew the police were combing the city for Ryan, and she couldn’t call him. She could only visit him in her mind and hope that Jerry had some luck in investigating Lewis

  Once convinced of Ryan’s innocence. Jerry had thrown himself into the project. He contacted a P.I. friend who was a computer wizard and the two were trying to access Lewis’s financial records Jerry had also instructed her on the surveillance equipment and the wire she would wear. He would listen from a delivery truck

  Julie could do nothing more now Just wait.

  The restaurant was a trendy, overpriced, expense-account establishment in downtown Atlanta. Julie arrived early and experimented with the wire from a rest room. Even then, Lewis was late. At thirty minutes past the meeting time, he walked in and greeted her with profuse apologies.

  He was a handsome man in his fifties. His white hair was obviously styled and he wore an expensive suit. He greeted her with a wide smile. After they were seated and exchanged a few pleasantries, his manner turned serious “So you have news about Murphy?”

  She handed him a copy of Ryan’s letter to Laura, then watched his face as he read it Nothing changed in it. When he finished, he handed it back to her. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Farrell, I don’t know what that proves. He could have written it anytime. Yesterday. Today ”

  “I have a witness—a priest—who will testify that he has had it in his possession since the day after Ryan confessed.”

  His face paled slightly, but he quickly regained his composure “It still means nothing. I wish you had more. I liked Ryan He was a good cop until .”

  “You framed him,” she finished. “Banyon told Ryan you were behind everything, that you were Castilani’s protector, that you ordered him to kidnap my son, then kill him.” Her voice hardened.

  “You can’t prove that, Ms Farrell. It’s one hell of a fairy tale, but you’re wrong.”

  “We’ll see,” she said. “Ryan’s regained his memory All of it. He has enough details to interest internal affairs and the district attomey Dan is already interested,” she said, purposely using his first name. “As you know, he decided not to oppose Ryan’s parole. He smells something too, and we have enough information to put him on the right scent.”

  “Then why haven’t you gone to him?”

  He was very careful not to say anything incriminating, she noticed. Well, she had expected that. “Ryan is wanted for Banyon’s murder,” she said. “We both know he won’t have a chance to present new evidence before being slapped back into prison. I’m sure you can appreciate the fact that his experience with the law has not led him to believe it—or you—can be trusted.

  “All he wants,” she continued after a brief pause, “is enough money to flee the country.”

  “You’re crazy,” he said, but she saw fear in his eyes. “Tell him to turn himself in.”

  “Angry is the word,” she said. “I’m angry, not crazy I would prefer to go after you. But he’s tired. He wants some peace.”

  “That doesn’t sound like the bastard I remember.”

  “Prison does that to a person. He doesn’t want to go back. I don’t suppose you would like it either.”

  “Just out of curiosity, Ms. Farrell, how much does he want to get out of the country?”

  “A million dollars.”

  He looked at her in stunned silence. “I don’t have that kind of money.”

  “Yes, you do,” she said. “Someone who is very good with computers has accessed your bank account and found a very nice balance indeed Now that alone wouldn’t be suspicious Good investments But you made a mistake of transferring a rather large sum from a Caribbean bank notorious for hiding funds.” Jerry had stumbled on that yesterday. Once he had a name, he and his fellow investigator, who was a whiz at breaking into so-called protected computer systems, had successfully accessed Lewis’s bank records The results had been better than she’d ever expected. Lewis had been careful, but not quite careful enough Apparently he needed funds fast at one time.

  If Lewis had been stunned before, he was obviously shocked at this latest revelation. Still, he struggled to control himself. “That’s blackmail,” he said quietly. “Aren’t you afraid I might be taping this conversation?”

  “Neither of us have anything to gain. I’m sure you don’t want anyone to know about that bank account. Still, you bring up a good point I think we should end this conversation now I’ll call you later ” She rose and left without another word

  She’d given him enough to stew about

  That afternoon, O‘Grady took Nicholas to a hotel. And at four o’clock, Julie called Lewis.

  “He needs the money tomorrow,” she said

  “I can’t get that much.”

  “He’ll take two hundred thousand as a down payment, then two hundred thousand each month for four months,” she said. “By the way, all the information has been outlined in a letter being held by an attorney. If anything happens to me, Dan Watters will receive it If you don’t show tomorrow, I’ll take Ryan to Dan.”

  A long silence answered her. “Where...do you want me to take it?”

  “Tomorrow you drive to a service station off I-75 ” She gave him the address. “I’ll call you there at the pay telephone at exactly 2 00 pm. and give you the final directions.”

  She hung up and called Dan

  Ryan paced the floor. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like any of it. But Julie had called from a pay telephone and told him she thought Lewis had taken the bait. mainly because of Jerry Kidder’s work last night She had also talked to Dan Watters. He’d been angry, she said, but he’d finally agreed to her plan.

  He could imagine how angry Watters was: one of his former assistants involved with obstruction of justice and harboring a fugitive in the district attorney’s own summer home, though Watters didn’t know the latter part yet. They’d decided together that no matter how goo
d a friend Dan was, or how honest a D.A., there could be leaks in his office. Watters’s people would be brought to the cabin by Jerry two hours before Lewis’s scheduled arrival.

  A few more hours A few more hours, and he would be either dead or back in jail. With luck, he wouldn’t be there long.

  He heard a car outside and he peered out the window. Julie Ryan unlocked the door and waited as she climbed out of the car. Then they moved toward each other He took her m his arms, then walked with her inside.

  He didn’t ask her if she was sure she wasn’t followed. They had already discussed that. She suspected a transmitter would be planted, so she had changed cars at Tim’s garage.

  “We have some time,” she said.

  “Julie, you are. .remarkable,” he said, still in awe at how much she was risking for him

  “So are you,” she said. “You saved my life, remember.”

  “It was probably the best thing I ever did.”

  “I think you spent your life doing good things.”

  He settled his chin on her dark hair. “You’re the only person who believes that.”

  “Because you always concealed that part of yourself ”

  “I really cheated Mary Elizabeth, didn’t I?” He moved so he could look down at her.

  “Yes,” she said simply. “But it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know how to reach out.”

  “That’s an excuse,” he replied “God knows what they thought, my wife and daughter.”

  “But now you have a second chance.”

  “With my daughter, anyway,” he said “Maybe. Maybe she’ll never want anything to do with me ”

  She leaned against him. “I think she will.”

  She tilted her head up, inviting a kiss. He obliged. He loved her so damn much. And the future was so uncertain. This could be the last time he touched her. The last time he kissed her The last tune he could dream

  His kiss deepened, and he could think of nothing but her They moved together toward the bedroom. He felt whole for the first time since he woke from the coma Their other lovemaking was always shadowed, haunted by ghosts of the past, by his own belief that he had been a killer.