by E. M. Abel
At six fifteen, I called a cab and went outside to wait for it. I hoped I would make it to his apartment in time. If I couldn’t talk to him soon, I would probably go insane.
As the cab pulled up in front of Jay’s building, my palms were sweating, and I had butterflies in my stomach again. This time, it was for completely different reasons. With a shaky hand, I grabbed the door handle and took a deep breath. Calm down. You can do this.
Making my way toward the elevator, I hit the button to Jay’s floor. It seemed to take an eternity to get there. I looked at my reflection in the elevator doors, and I wasn’t so sure I belonged here. Closing my eyes, I took deep breaths through my nose, trying to calm my nerves. I hoped this attempt to make things right wouldn’t end up pushing Jay away even more.
When the elevator doors opened, I took one more deep breath and walked toward Jay’s apartment. I knocked on his door and then rubbed my sweaty palm on my skirt. A few seconds later, I heard a woman’s voice on the other side of the door.
“I’ll get it!”
I could feel my face getting hot as my heartbeat tripled in speed. Just as I felt the urge to run, the door flew open. Jessica was standing there in a blue strapless gown.
I stood there in shock with my breath caught in my throat. What the fuck?
“Oh, hi. Asia, right?” she greeted me with a fake smile as her eyes scanned my clothes.
I tried to speak, but nothing was coming out. I couldn’t even unclench my jaw.
“Hold on a sec. Let me get Jay.”
She was acting casual, like my presence was no threat to her. I could feel my chest tighten as my hands balled into fists at my sides. Just as I started to turn toward the elevator, I heard Jay’s voice.
“Asia? Is everything okay?”
I took a deep breath, fighting hard to keep the tears from flooding my eyes. I wouldn’t let him see me cry. Turning back to face Jay, I paused as I took in the sight of him. Standing there in a black tuxedo, he was devastatingly handsome, and it broke my heart.
When he saw my expression, Jay stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
I couldn’t believe I had caught him red-handed, and he was acting like nothing was wrong. My hurt quickly turned into anger.
“What is she doing here?” I narrowed my eyes at the door behind him.
“It’s nothing, Asia. Really. I have a company function tonight, and she asked to go with me. Her boyfriend broke up with her last week, and he was supposed to take her. He kicked her out of their house, and she had to move back in with her parents. She was devastated, and I felt bad for her.”
A chuckle flew out of my mouth as I shook my head, looking down at my feet. “So, you have time to console her, but you can’t even take the time to call me?”
Jay took my hands in his. “Will you look at me?” he asked, rubbing the backs of my hands with his thumbs.
I lifted my head and stared into his deep blue eyes. His brow was furrowed, and he seemed to be thinking of what to say.
“I’m sorry, Asia. I should have called. Work has just been so crazy, and I’ve had so much on my mind.”
I pulled my hands away, still looking him dead in the eye. “And I guess I’m just supposed to sit and wait for you while you take your ex to a charity ball. I get it. If you’re too embarrassed to be seen with me, you could have at least had the decency to tell me instead of having me find out like this. So, what? Am I just a piece of ass you keep on the side when you feel like slumming it?”
I stood there, glaring at him. I was seething. My hands were shaking, and adrenaline was pumping through my veins.
Jay seemed surprised by my words, and he began to protest. “Asia, that’s not—”
I put my hand up, cutting him off. “You know what? I really don’t want to talk anymore. Have fun tonight.”
I whipped around and walked as fast as I could in my heels back to the elevator. Luckily, it was still there, waiting for me, when I hit the button. As I got in part of me wished he would come after me, but deep down, I knew he wouldn’t. If he knew what was good for him, he wouldn’t. When I turned around I noticed he was still standing in front of his door, watching me, but I refused to look up. I wouldn’t let him see my tears.
As soon as the elevator doors closed, the tears I had been holding back finally fell down my cheeks. My jaw was clenched, and my hands were still in fists. I wasn’t going to break down. I’d spent enough time worrying about what Jay wanted. It was time I figured out what I wanted.
Reaching into my purse, I pulled out my cell phone and sent a text to Rob.
Looks like I’ll be able to make it after all. Where are we going?
Walking into my quiet apartment felt extra lonely now. I needed to get the hell out of here. Rob had texted me back, telling me to meet them at a sports bar close to my dad’s house.
I decided to wear some of my old clothes. There was no need to be someone I wasn’t anymore. I was tired of pretending. I put on a tight black tank top and pulled on a pair of tight faded jeans that had a few holes in the front, showing parts of my thighs.
I kept my hair back in a high ponytail and added my silver hoop earrings. My lips curled into a small grin as I slipped on my black Roxy flip-flops. I was actually looking forward to having a night out without my feet hurting afterward. It was too bad nothing could be done for my heart.
While I was looking myself over in the mirror, my phone started to ring in my purse. My back stiffened, and I slowly turned around, wondering if it was Jay. When I got to my phone, I saw a number I didn’t recognize, and I took a deep breath before answering.
“Hey, sexy,” Marcus said, his voice low in my ear.
This time, my body reacted. Easy, girl.
“I heard you decided to join us tonight. You want me to come by and scoop you up?”
“Sure, if it’s not out of your way. It would save me some cab fare.”
I wasn’t sure if I was explaining my answer to him or to myself. Although Jay and I were probably in the middle of a breakup, I wasn’t going to tell Marcus. Marcus was trouble.
“Okay, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
I hung up the phone and grabbed my purse. I was ready to go out with my brothers, so I could forget the past twenty-four hours. My chest still hurt, and my eyes stung from crying, but after some drinks, I was sure none of it would hurt anymore.
As I waited on the sidewalk in front of my building, Marcus pulled up in his black Chevelle, smiling at me, with his tattooed elbow hanging out of the window.
“Hey, baby. Need a ride?” he asked, his eyes shining under the streetlight on the sidewalk.
I rolled my eyes as I walked around his car to get in. The Wu-Tang Clan was playing on his stereo.
“Wow, I haven’t heard this CD in years,” I told Marcus before grinning at him.
His car smelled just like him. It was almost intoxicating.
“Yeah, good times.” He gave me that secret smile again.
“Will you stop looking at me like that?” I snapped, narrowing my eyes at him.
“Like what?” He was watching the road with a big grin on his face.
“You know what—like you’ve seen me naked before, and no one knows.”
“Well, it’s true, isn’t it? It’s not like I can help it, especially when you’re dressed like that.”
“Dressed like what?” I asked, looking down at my torn jeans.
“Like yourself, like how I remember you. Although I have to say, I still prefer you naked.” Marcus looked over at me with his right arm propped up on the steering wheel.
As his eyes flicked up and down my body, I felt myself blushing. I shook my head and looked out the passenger window. He knew me a little too well. This was the first time Marcus and I had actually talked about the fact that we’d slept together. It was awkward to say the least.
“Yeah, well, I had a lapse in judgment. I was too dumb to realize that you were taking
advantage of me in my vulnerable state,” I said coolly, still looking out the window at the lights flashing by me.
“Is that really how you feel?” Marcus studied me before turning back to watch the road.
“Well, it’s true, isn’t it?” I clipped, shooting his words back at him.
Marcus was silent for a minute. Leaning back into his seat, he ran his hand through his messy hair. “I had no idea you felt that way, but now that you say it, I could see why you would think that.” He sighed, glancing over at me, as he moved his elbow to the armrest between our seats. “I thought you saw me as a friend with benefits. I didn’t realize that I’d hurt you.”
I sighed, rolling my eyes. Are all guys this fucking stupid?
“You do remember that you took my virginity, don’t you? When have you ever heard of a girl wanting to give up her virginity just for fun?”
I could feel myself getting angry again, and I knew it wasn’t all about Marcus. He just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was glaring at him, watching as my words started to sink in. I saw the moment when confusion turned into shame on his face.
“I’m sorry, Asia. Really.” He turned to look at me. “I had no idea you expected or even wanted more.”
I took a deep breath as I stared out the windshield. Yeah, I guess all guys are fucking stupid.
“Whatever. It doesn’t really matter now. It happened years ago, and I’ve gotten over it. Obviously, I can still stand to be around you.” I forced a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
The last thing I wanted was to bring this shitty attitude out to the bar with us. I was trying to forget. I didn’t want to go down memory lane. I knew my anger wasn’t really about Marcus, and he didn’t deserve to pay for Jay’s actions.
Marcus still seemed to be contemplating our conversation, but he smiled back and drove the rest of the way to the bar without saying another word.
When I walked into the bar, I saw Rob, Alexis, and Shaun sitting on stools around a table in the middle of the crowd.
When I approached their table, I saw my dad walking back from the bar. He was carrying a pitcher of beer and two cups. He smiled at me when he got to the table. After setting down the beer and cups, he gave me a hug.
“Hey, baby girl,” he said his usual greeting in his deep voice. After hugging me, he held my shoulders in his big hands as he pulled away from me to inspect my face. “What’s up? You look upset.”
Ugh, if one more person asks me that!
“Nothing, Dad. Just a shitty week, that’s all,” I grumbled. I grabbed one of the empty cups and poured myself a beer.
“Oh, please tell me Jay did something, so I can whoop that rich boy’s ass,” Shaun said with a smile, shaking his fist in the air.
All I wanted was to forget about Jay for one night, and it seemed like all people wanted to do was talk about him.
“Can we please just talk about something else?” I muttered, scowling at Shaun.
Hearing my agitation, Marcus looked over at me.
“So, how are things going with the shop?” Rob asked, looking at Marcus over the lip of his cup.
Marcus peered up from the beer he was pouring. “Good. Looks like we’ll be setting up sooner than I thought. I’ll probably be stickin’ around for a couple months.”
I took a sip from my beer, trying to ignore the thrill of excitement I got from that information. God, you suck! You do not want Marcus!
“You’re gonna hook me up with a management position with benefits and all that shit, right?” Shaun asked Marcus.
“Uh, let’s see if you can show up on time first, and then we’ll discuss promotions,” Marcus replied, shaking his head as he took a sip of his beer.
Shaun worked construction, and while it kept him in good shape, he seemed to be growing tired of it, but he couldn’t handle any nine-to-five job. He didn’t like being tied down to anything or anyone.
“Don’t forget that mixing friendship and business isn’t always a good idea,” my dad warned, raising his eyebrow at Shaun.
“So, Dad…” I paused and took a sip of my beer, trying to hide my smile. “What’s this I hear about you smokin’ ganja?”
Rob spit the beer he had in his mouth back into his cup when he started coughing, and Alexis laughed as she patted his back.
Without giving anything away, my dad looked up at Shaun and then back at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
My dad had the best poker face of all time. Shaun kicked me under the table, and I stuck out my tongue at him, proud of myself for successfully getting him into trouble again.
After sharing a few appetizers and a few more pitchers of beer, I was feeling much better. So far, I’d laughed most of the night, and Jay had only crossed my mind about every ten minutes instead of every second.
Marcus wasn’t talking much. I didn’t even see him hit on any girls even though they were all staring. He seemed to be deep in thought about something.
“So, what the fuck is wrong with you, Rico? I already got two numbers, and you haven’t even left the table.” Shaun looked across the table at Marcus.
Marcus took another sip of his beer and shrugged. “No one’s catchin’ my eye, I guess.”
“Bullshit. This place is full of bitches. What? Someone got you pussy whipped?”
My dad glared at Shaun. “Watch your mouth. There are ladies present.”
“Oh, sorry, Alexis,” Shaun replied, scowling at me.
I flicked him off.
“So, what are we doing? This is getting boring. Let’s take some shots!” I insisted, grinning at everyone at the table. I stopped when I got to Alexis. “Sorry.”
She laughed. “No, it’s okay. Someone’s gotta be the DD.” She smirked at Rob, and he gave her a loving smile before leaning over to kiss her.
“Well, I’m heading out.” Dad stood up and tossed a couple twenties on the table.
“Got a hot date?” Rob asked, raising his eyebrow.
“Yeah, something like that. You guys have fun and take care of my girls.”
“Bye, Dad.” I got up and gave him a hug.
As my dad made his way out of the bar, I looked around at everyone. “So, what will it be? Tequila?”
“Sounds good to me,” Marcus said, standing up. “I’ll help you carry them.”
We made our way through the groups of people standing around the bar, and Marcus put up his hand and asked the female bartender for four shots of Jose Cuervo with limes. She smiled and fluttered her eyelashes at him. She was obviously flirting with him, but he seemed oblivious.
“Don’t worry. They’re on me,” she said, winking, as she slid the shots across the bar toward Marcus.
“Wow. You’re so hot that girls buy you drinks!” I shouted mockingly.
Shaking his head, he smiled as he grabbed the shots.
“What’s wrong? You shy all of a sudden? Stop acting like such a pussy, and get drunk with me. I’ve had a bad day.”
Marcus’s eyes narrowed. “What happened?”
“Apparently, you aren’t the only one who doesn’t do well in relationships,” I muttered before stopping myself. Taking a shot from Marcus, I threw the liquor in my mouth and swallowed before the taste had time to settle on my tongue.
“What?” Marcus asked.
“Nothing. Let’s get wasted.”
I grabbed another shot and Marcus’s arm before I pulled him back toward the table.
After way too many shots of tequila, I was drunk. Not just drunk, I was wobbly, slurring, and laughing at everything. Tequila was not a good idea. It would always make me crazy.
Alexis decided to take Rob home while Shaun and Marcus stayed to take care of me. Marcus and I were still sitting at our table, and Shaun had moved to the bar to talk to another girl.
“I can’t feel my lips. Are they still there? Wait…I have two, right? You have two,” I slurred to Marcus.
I poked his bottom lip with my finger, or at least I tried to, but
I might have ended up poking him in the cheek instead. Marcus laughed. God, I love his laugh.
“Yeah, you have two, and they’re still there,” he told me through a chuckle as he looked at my numb mouth.
“Good. Shaun! I still have two lips! Asshole!” I yelled over to Shaun.
He was standing by the bar with a leggy brunette. Her hair looked like chocolate. Shaun glanced away from his girl toy long enough to roll his eyes at me. I flicked him off and took a sip of my beer—at least, I thought it was beer. I couldn’t tell. When I turned back to Marcus, he was still grinning at me.
“You have white teeth. Jay is a dickweed. I miss his dick. You have a big dick.” I took another sip of the liquid in front of me.
Marcus started laughing again as he put his hand on my cup. “As much as I enjoy hearing you talk about my dick, I think we better get you home before you say something you don’t want Shaun to hear.”
“Fuck Shaun. He’s a dick. Get your filthy hand off my puc…cup. Cuuuup.” I made sure to pop the p.
I was making an ass of myself, but I really didn’t care.
“Okay, that’s it. Let’s go.” Marcus stood up and waved his arm toward Shaun, letting him know it was time to leave. Shaun invited Miss Chocolate Hair with us. Normally, I would have given him shit, but at this point, everyone was my friend, so I didn’t really care.
When we got to my apartment, I stumbled in and threw my purse down on my couch. We were all still laughing about the cab ride home. Marcus and Shaun had decided to use accents, and they had the driver completely confused and pissed by the time he dropped us off.
I went to use the bathroom down the hall since it was closer to me, and I splashed some cold water on my face. When I walked back into the living room, Marcus was the only one sitting on my couch.
“Where’s fuckface?”
“He took his friend into your room,” Marcus said, looking toward my bedroom door that was now closed.
