Cake: The Newlyweds: Cake Series Book Four

by J. Bengtsson

  Cake: The Newlyweds

  Cake Series Book Four

  J. Bengtsson

  Cake: The Newlyweds

  Copyright © 2018 by J. Bengtsson

  Published & printed in the United States

  Edited by Dorothy Zemach

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Contents

  1. Casey: Don’t Give Up On Me

  2. Casey: That Face

  3. Jake: The Honeybee

  4. Jake: The Uninvited

  5. Casey: The Wedding

  6. Jake: The Reception

  7. Casey: Super-Sized

  8. Jake: Honeymoon

  9. Jake: Takes One to Know One

  10. Casey: Married Life

  11. Casey: Heavy Heart

  12. Jake: Bereavement

  13. Casey: Runaway Train

  14. Jake: A Screeching Halt

  15. Casey: What Could Go Wrong?

  16. Casey: Parental Units

  17. Jake: The Rookie

  18. Casey: The Secret Keeper

  19. Jake: Go Big

  20. Casey: Forgiven

  21. Jake: The Ugly Truth

  22. Casey: Nesting

  23. Jake: Where They Live

  24. Casey: Epilogue

  25. Jake: Epilogue

  Afterword

  About the Author

  Also by J. Bengtsson

  1

  Casey: Don’t Give Up On Me

  Present day

  “Jake! In the bedroom – now! I’m ovulating.”

  One Mississippi, two Mississippi… good lord, what was taking him so long? There was no way he hadn’t heard me calling for his stud services. It’s not like I expected him to be Michael Phelps fast, but a little hustle wouldn’t have killed him. Five Mississippi, six Mississippi... This was getting ridiculous. A few months ago, had my husband gotten the call for sex, he’d have come running with a smile on his face and his pants already bunched around his ankles. Now, we were already on eight Mississippis and his naked butt still wasn’t in my bed. I suppose now that lovemaking was on a timetable and colorful flow charts had become our only foreplay, his lack of enthusiasm was not without reason.

  Finally, Jake’s fine-looking frame filled the doorway. What was that – fifteen Mississippis? Definitely not his best effort.

  Impatiently, I held up my ovulation journal and tapped on the cover. “You. Me. Sex. Baby.”

  He didn’t take a step forward, nor did he look particularly eager to begin checking things off my list. Crossing his arms in front of him, Jake leaned his body lazily against the doorframe and humored me with one of his lop-sided grins. “Ooh, baby, talk dirty to me.”

  “Oh, you want dirty?” I asked seductively, walking across the bed on my knees. “I’ll give you dirty. Menstrual cycle, fallopian tube, egg, sperm,” I whispered in my sexiest voice. “Fertilization.”

  “Yeah…” Jake groaned, amusement playing out over his face. “Say the word… I know you want to.”

  “Vagiiiina.” I made sure to elongate the word, all while adopting the sexiest lip pout known to man.

  “There it is!” Jake clapped his approval. “Nothing like clinical baby making terms to get me going.”

  “Well, I know what you like. Now get over here, Hotstuff, and procreate with me. According to the ovulation chart, the optimal time for impregnation is now.”

  “Like now, now?”

  “Yes, now.” Hadn’t I made my intentions perfectly clear when I’d hollered for his semen moments earlier? “Like yesterday, now.”

  “I thought you were kidding. You realize I’m taking the stage in an hour, right?”

  “That’s not a problem. I can have you out of here in a couple of minutes.”

  “A couple of minutes? Wow, that sounds really hot, babe.”

  The smile faded from my face. Fun and games were over. It was time to get down to business. “I’m serious, Jake. This is important to me… and I thought it was to you too.”

  Pushing off the door, Jake straightened his back, and I could almost see the process by which his body coiled into a tight ball of tension. “It is.”

  No, actually, it wasn’t. Having a baby was the last thing he wanted. I’d known that all along but, due to recent circumstances, what he wanted and what I needed had become two wildly different things. In the end, he’d simply bowed to the pressure.

  Jake, sensing the sudden change in mood, walked toward the bed with his arms reaching for me. I flung myself onto my back and rolled away.

  “Don’t be like that,” he said.

  “Like what?” I feigned ignorance. Of course, I knew what he was referring to, and that I was the unreasonable one, but that didn’t make it any easier.

  Jake watched me, no doubt uncertain where our conversation was headed, but worried enough to take it slow. “You know as well as I do that waiting three hours isn’t going to make a difference.”

  “Maybe, maybe not; but what I do know is if we don’t get pregnant this month, then I’m going to remember that you didn’t want to do it at my exact moment of fertility, and it will be on your head.”

  Jake’s eyes narrowed as irritation washed across his face. “Seriously? You’re blackmailing me?”

  “It’s not blackmail…just a friendly warning.”

  “Huh, ’cuz there was nothing friendly about it.”

  It was as if the words he spoke slapped the sense back into me. Jake was right: there was nothing friendly about my behavior at all. I was nothing more than a baby-making bully. What the hell was I doing? Was my judgment so clouded that I would risk losing my husband to fill the gaping, bleeding hole that had once been my heart? Don’t give up on me. Tears swelled in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry, but it was a process that couldn’t be stopped. Crying had become part of who I was; and, I feared, who I’d always be.

  As I did multiple times a day, I mourned for old Casey, the fun-loving girl who found joy in the simplest of things, the girl who would never consider blackmailing her husband into sex because, back then, all it would have taken to get his attention was a sexy, sideways glance. Oh, how I missed her!

  Sorrow, I’d discovered, had a way of sapping the sexy clean out of a person. Now, on a daily basis, I felt like a blubbery, soggy slug slithering my way through life as I left a trail of slurpy tears in my wake.

  Without my even realizing it, heavy droplets had begun falling from my eyes, making way for what was sure to be a spectacular water show. Not wanting to give Jake yet another front row seat to the festivities, I shakily rose from the bed and slunk from the room.

  “Casey?” Jake called out, his own body slumped under the weight of my sadness. “Come on. Come back.”

  “No. Never mind.” I blinked away the emotion that blurred my vision and headed for the exit of the tour bus.

  Jake jogged up from behind and pried my fingers from the door handle. Gripping my shoulders, he turned me around slowly, pulling me into a hug so tight that I knew I couldn’t fight my way out. Still, my body was unwilling, or perhaps it was just unable, to accept the comfort he was offering. Don’t give up on me. I wanted his love but felt numb to it all. Unsurprisingly, Jake didn’t back down, keeping me cocooned in safety until my shoulders finally wilted in response to his unyielding devotion and the dam gates opened. Wave after wave of sorrow poured from the core of my fractured heart.

  “Shhh, I’m here. You’re going to be okay. Just let it out.” Jake careful
ly stroked the tangled strands of my hair as if I were a precious possession he was safeguarding. His loving touch only made me feel worse. My suffering affected him just as much as his earlier struggles had affected me.

  Gripping his hand, I searched out his eyes and spoke with as much strength as I could muster. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to pull it together, I really am. I thought as time passed it would get easier, but it hasn’t.”

  Jake tightened his hold on me. “It’s been only a few months. No one is expecting you to suddenly feel better. This isn’t something you get over, Casey, it’s something you deal with in the long term. You’ve got to take it one day at a time.”

  Even though the day-by-day approach he was suggesting had, so far, gotten me nowhere, I nonetheless nodded my head. Of course I should pay more heed to Jake’s advice, as he certainly knew a thing or two about coping; yet even his ability to survive unimaginable trauma was doing nothing to help my own handling of the situation. When it came right down to it, I wasn’t Jake. I didn’t have his inner strength, nor did I have his off-the-charts survival skills. I was inherently an emotional being, feeling everything to uncomfortable extremes. When I was happy and in love, the radiance shimmered off me like a disco ball at an 80’s prom. But in my current state of disarray, it felt as if a light had been turned off somewhere inside, and I was casting shadows so wide that anyone in a hundred-mile radius was blanketed by my gloom.

  As with all my crying marathons, the tears eventually dried up, but there was no need to worry about a drought. Within a few hours, the coffers would refill and once again be locked and loaded and ready to flow. When my stuttered breaths died down to hollowed hiccups, Jake broke from our hug and led me back into the bedroom. He gently lowered me onto the bed, and I sank onto its soft sheets, drained and disheartened. Taking his place beside me, Jake grasped my hand and placed it over his heart, a gesture that always calmed me.

  Don’t give up on me.

  “Maybe you should stay in the bus for the show,” he offered. “Get some sleep.”

  “No, I can’t be in here alone. It’s too quiet. I’ll just start thinking.”

  “Lassen will be here.”

  “Lassen’s a worthless lug,” I said, my insult making me sound like an overindulged toddler.

  “What’s going on with the two of you lately? Yesterday he said you threw a plastic plate at him like a Frisbee.”

  “Yes, that’s right. I almost got him, too.”

  A smile broke out over Jake’s face. “Was there a specific reason, or were you just working on your target practice?”

  “He acts like I’ve got the bubonic plague. Every time he sees me coming – tears or not – he gets all bug-eyed and pasty-faced. The other day he covered his nose and mouth with his shirt… hence the flying plastic disc.”

  “Okay, I get your frustration, but give the poor guy a break. You know he hates feelings, and right now, you’re just a giant swirling hotpot of them. Just try to be nicer to him.”

  Placing the palms of my hands over my eyes, I groaned in a long, drawn out manner. The last thing I wanted was to give Lassen a break, but I also didn’t want to put Jake between us. “Fine. I’ll be nicer, but only for you.”

  “Thank you,” Jake said, amused by the effort I was making on his behalf. “Oh, and while we’re on the subject of Lassen, he has requested that you stop dumping your used Kleenex in his wastebasket. He wants me to tell you that it’s disgusting and that it makes him want to vomit.”

  A wicked little smile chased away the frown. That was just the reaction I’d been going for.

  Jake studied me a second before playfully poking me in the side. “I know you’re doing it on purpose, Case, so you’d better wipe that smile off your face when Lassen’s around.”

  He knew me too well. Messing with Lassen had become a full time job for me lately. He was always such a grump, and pushing his buttons took little to no effort at all. Sure, I could be nicer to Lassen, but plotting against him was really the only thing that kept me going these days. I laughed, allowing the lightness to ease my sadness.

  “You’re a brat,” he said, grinning. “But at least you haven’t lost that sense of humor of yours.”

  A lump formed in the back of my throat when I thought of the reason for its suppression. I burrowed in closer to his warm body feeling sudden remorse. “Jake?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m sorry for sexually harassing you.”

  He squeezed my hand. “It’s okay. I didn’t take it personally.”

  “You never do. How can you be so forgiving? I don’t deserve it.”

  Jake turned to his side and propped himself up on one elbow. His fingers caressed my cheek as those grayish-green eyes of his, brimming with affection, gazed into mine. “Yeah, you do.”

  His devotion heartened me. Our love was real. That much I was certain of. I felt its force every day, with every touch. It terrified me to think if I didn’t pull myself together soon, Jake’s love for me might fade.

  “I’m trying, Jake. Don’t give up on me.”

  He flinched at my words. Of course, I understood that he wasn’t being given the credit he deserved, and that he was prepared to fight alongside me in this battle, but we were still in the early stages of my decline. Would he have the strength to stick by me for the long haul?

  “I will find a way, I promise.”

  Jake leaned in, his face inches from mine, and his hair tickling my forehead. “I know you will. I have faith in you.”

  “Why? What makes you think I can make it through this?”

  “Because I know you. The way you’ve pushed me through one crisis after another, there’s nothing you cannot do. You are, and always will be, a force to be reckoned with.”

  I could almost hear the inspirational music playing in the background and brightened at the memory of the woman I used to be – strong, fierce, and committed to the cause. We’d always scraped through every obstacle placed before us and emerged stronger for it. There was no reason to believe we couldn’t do it again.

  I felt the tiniest ray of hope lifting my dour spirits; yet fear still nagged at me. “The thing is, I’d fight to the death for you, Jake; but for myself, I don’t know how far I’d go.”

  “And that’s why you have me.”

  “Until you get tired of my bedroom bullying and replace me with a shiny, new Casey.”

  “Not gonna happen.”

  “You don’t know that for sure.”

  “Trust me, I do. You’ve ruined me for anyone else.”

  “Ahh. Really?” I asked, pretending to be ridiculously flattered by his backward compliment. “I’ve ruined you?”

  “Only you would find a positive message in that,” he said, amused and clearly relieved by the change in mood.

  I pulled up to plant a kiss on my man. “I love you, Jake McKallister.”

  Emboldened, he rose to his knees, straddling me, his eyes tempered by warmth. “I love you too, Casey McKallister. And on those days where you feel like you’re dangling off the ledge, I’ll be there to pull you back up. I’m never going to let you fall. Do you hear me? I’ve got you.”

  It had only been eight months since we’d stood in front of a crowd of our loved ones and vowed to love and cherish one another until death did us part. I’d meant every word then, and I meant every word now. And even if this great loss managed to tear us apart in the end, Jake would always and forever be the man I loved.

  In one swift movement, he sat up, pulling me with him. As we both shifted on the bed, I caught sight of the seriousness of his expression, and my stomach turned over. Whatever he was about to say, I felt certain I wasn’t going to like it.

  “Please don’t take this the wrong way, Casey, but I have to get this out. I know you want a baby, but I really think this isn’t the right time. For everyone’s sake, you need to get to a better place before we have a child of our own.”

  I felt a little stab to my heart. He’d never wanted a baby in th
e first place, so I had to wonder if he was just taking the opportunity to reiterate his position. But then, he’d had ample time to back out before today and had not, so I had to believe he was being sincere – that he truly believed it was a bad idea to bear a child in this current toxic environment.

  Problem was, I didn’t agree. Maybe he was right, and yeah, he probably was, but my brain was not leading the charge on this one. “I hear what you’re saying, and I agree with you… to an extent… but I don’t see a way forward without a baby. I’ll just linger indefinitely in this weird kind of limbo. I know it’s not an ideal mindset to have when bringing a baby into the world, but haven’t you ever had that feeling that something has to change or you just can’t move forward?”

  Jake kept his eyes focused on mine, and I could see the recognition in them as he nodded. There was no doubt he understood my dilemma, whether he currently agreed with my solution or not.

  “I need something to fill the hole in my heart. I can’t really explain it but… but… I just feel…I don’t know…I just feel like having a baby to love would take away the sadness. That precious little life could fill the void left by….” A sob caught in my throat. Just saying the name that finished the sentence made the nightmare all too real. “Anyway, I know you probably think it’s selfish, and that making a baby on a timetable is not the way it’s supposed to be, but…”

  Jake abruptly stood, pulling his shirt up and over his head. Tossing it aside, he then began the arduous task of wiggling his way out of his overly tight concert jeans. I observed his actions with surprise. This current turn of events had definitely not been anticipated. The humor of the moment was not lost on me, and even though my spirit was shrouded in sorrow, laughter still came. Jake stopped undressing, appearing both concerned and confused by my flip-flopping mood swings. Perhaps he thought I’d finally lost my mind, and maybe I had, but that dumbfounded expression on his face only served to escalate my antics further as I dissolved into full-blown hysterics. It was an odd combination of guttural sobs and gut-busting laughter and it went on for a full, very uncomfortable minute before I finally calmed down enough to breathe normally once again.