This Glittering World

by T. Greenwood

  He’d know that voice anywhere. Ben looked up and watched as a kid grabbed a fistful of fries from the basket and opened his mouth to shove them in. Sure enough, underneath that baseball cap was Ben’s old buddy, Joe Bello.

  At the movies on Friday night, Sara ordered a large popcorn and M&M’s. As they waited for the previews to start, she dumped the giant bag of candy into the vat of popcorn and held it out to Ben. “Want some?”

  He shook his head.

  “Mel?” Sara asked, offering the bucket to Melanie, who had come with them, and Melanie grabbed a handful.

  “I am having the weirdest cravings,” Sara said. “This morning for breakfast, I had scrambled eggs inside a peanut butter and cheese sandwich.”

  “You must need the protein,” Melanie said.

  “I hadn’t even thought about that, but I bet you’re right. That would explain why Burger King commercials practically give me an orgasm. I ate an Ultimate Cheeseburger for lunch yesterday at Jack in the Box, and I was still hungry, so I got another one.”

  By the time the lights dimmed and the speakers boomed with the previews, Sara and Melanie had made their way to the bottom of the popcorn. When the movie started, and Sara reached for Ben’s hand, her fingers were slick with butter.

  Earlier that day, while Sara was at work, Ben had gone to Flagstaff Brewing Company and sat down at the bar. He’d ordered a beer and some onion rings and chatted with the bartender a little bit. After they talked about how the Suns might do this season, he said, “Hey, does some girl named Jenny work here?”

  “Yeah, I think that’s the new chick’s name,” the bartender, Gus, said.

  “She working today?” Ben asked, looking around.

  Gus shrugged. “I think she’s on tonight. She was here last Friday. You want me to check the schedule?”

  “Nah,” Ben said. “That’s cool.”

  “You want me to tell her you said hey?”

  “No,” Ben said. “She doesn’t know me.”

  Gus raised his eyebrow, waiting.

  “Sara,” he stumbled. “Sara went to school with her sister, I think.”

  Gus shrugged.

  Now, at the theater, he kept checking his watch every time there was enough light from the screen to see. It was already nine thirty, and the movie didn’t seem to be ending any time soon. It was a chick flick that Sara had wanted to see for a while now. She’d waited for a moment of weakness to ask Ben to take her. And then Melanie said she’d wanted to come, and now he wasn’t even sure why he was there.

  His plan was to drop the girls off at the house and then make some excuse to go into town. Maybe he could say that Hippo had called him in for a couple of hours. That Ned had called in sick. Friday nights could be jam-packed, and Sara probably wouldn’t think twice.

  But then, as they were walking out of the theater, Sara said, “Hey, why don’t we go out? You guys can get a drink and I can watch.”

  Ben said, “You’re usually in bed by nine. You’re not tired?”

  “Ben, it’s been so long since we’ve done anything, and I actually have some energy for a change. Come on. Just for a little bit. Go downtown somewhere?”

  “Let’s!” Melanie said. “There’s some band playing at Charly’s tonight. They’re supposed to be pretty good.”

  “Please, Ben?” Sara said, putting her hands together and batting her eyelashes.

  “Just for a little bit, and then you need to get some sleep.”

  “Yes, sir,” Sara said mock serious, saluting him.

  Ben bristled.

  They parked across from the tracks and had to wait as a train barreled past. He couldn’t help but wonder if Shadi might be waiting on the other side again as the caboose rolled past. What would he do then?

  Sara and Melanie held hands like little girls, skipping across the street when the light turned green, and Ben followed behind reluctantly, dragging his feet. As they walked past Flag Brew, he glanced quickly into the window to see if he could see the girl. Jenny. The place was packed, and people were spilling out of the doors.

  “Hey,” Sara said. “Why don’t we go here instead? I haven’t been here in ages.”

  “Really?” Ben asked. “It’s pretty crowded. We might not get a seat.”

  “I’m pregnant, not an invalid,” she said and yanked his hand, leading the way.

  Ben prayed that Gus had left, but as soon as they got to the bar, he could see that he was still there. He must be working a double. Ben anxiously glanced around, looking for a free table. It was standing room only, except for two open spots at the bar. He could imagine the conversation already: Gus asking Sara how she knew Jenny’s sister. Introducing them. Sara wondering what the hell was going on.

  But Gus seemed pretty busy, probably too busy to even remember the conversation. At least that’s what Ben hoped as they took the only open spots at the bar.

  “Hey again!” Gus said."What’s up?”

  “Hey,” Ben said, shaking his hand.

  Melanie and Sara were occupied with taking off their hats and mittens and coats.

  “So Jenny is working tonight,” Gus started. “I can call her over if you want.”

  “Who’s Jenny?” Sara asked.

  “One of my students,” Ben said, looking at Gus, hoping he was getting it. Gus lifted his chin; he understood. “She’s failing,” Ben added for good measure. “I was going to try to talk to her before the final, but I don’t want to bug her when it’s this busy.”

  Gus nodded, slung his dishrag over his shoulder, and said, “So, what would you girls like to drink?”

  “I’ll have a vodka cranberry, and she’ll have a cranberry cranberry,” Melanie said, smiling, flirting a little, Ben thought. Melanie hadn’t dated anyone since her fiancé, Doug, died. Doug was a helicopter pilot and had crashed in the Grand Canyon right before Melanie graduated from nursing school. He and Ben hadn’t been close, but it had been nice to go out in pairs instead of this awkward threesome. And since Sara got pregnant, Melanie was always around. Ben felt extraneous. He kept wondering if Melanie might be a better father to this baby than he would.

  They got their drinks and, because he had no place to sit, Ben stood. The girls gossiped and leaned in close to each other, until finally Ben figured they wouldn’t notice if he slipped away for a minute. He wanted to see if the girl, Jenny, really was the girl he’d seen with the Mustang.

  “Hey, I’m gonna hit the bathroom,” he said and Sara brushed her hand, dismissing him.

  He set his beer down on the bar between them and made his way through the crowded bar area to the men’s room.

  There were only two waitresses in sight, and one was Asian. The other had brown hair, a short denim skirt, and pink Ugg boots. It was her.

  He went to the bathroom, used the urinal, and then washed his hands, splashing water onto his face. This time he would be smart, actually think about what he might say.

  When he came out of the bathroom, he saw the girl. It seemed to have slowed down, and she was just leaning against the bar, looking out over the crowd to see who might need her.

  “Hey,” he said. “Are you Jenny? ”

  “Yeah?”

  “Hi,” he said, reaching for her hand to shake it. “I think we might have met on Halloween.”

  She cocked her head at him.

  He waited for her. For something to click. Anything.

  “Oh! Were you the guy dressed up like the zombie salesman? At the Beta Beta Phi party?”

  A frat party.

  “That was me! You’re Fitch’s girlfriend, right?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” she said. “I’m sorry, I totally forgot your name.”

  “It’s Gary,” he said.

  “That was an awesome costume,” she said. “The blood looked so real. And that gash on your forehead was so cool.”

  “Thanks,” he said. “That was a wild party.”

  “Yeah, that’s an understatement,” she said, scowling.

  And he knew the
n that whatever had happened that night had probably started at this party. His heart was beating hard. He took a deep breath and leaned close to her, speaking softly. “So, I heard there was a crazy fight…. ”

  Her smile dissolved, and she grabbed her tray. The glasses on it trembled. “I wasn’t there when that happened,” she said. “I got tired and I went back to my apartment.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “It was just so …”

  She turned to look at him again; her eyes were glossy with tears. “You better just pretend like we didn’t have this conversation. “And then she and her tray disappeared into the crowd.

  Cold adrenaline surged through his body; he could feel its grip in his shoulders, spreading down each of his arms. He walked back down the length of the bar to Sara and Melanie.

  “You tell her she’s failing?” Melanie asked. “She looked super pissed.”

  “Yeah,” Ben said, grabbing his beer. “She’s in a lot of trouble.”

  He had to tell Shadi. Maybe this information would be enough to trigger an investigation by the police. And if they figured out what had happened to Ricky, then maybe this could all end. He could let Shadi go.

  But telling her meant seeing her. And seeing her meant facing the overwhelming possibility that he’d made the wrong decision in staying with Sara. Seeing Shadi was seeing a future he would never have. Seeing Shadi meant being tempted to change his mind, to leave Sara and the baby.

  But she had to know what Jenny had said. He couldn’t let this go.

  After proctoring his last final, he gathered all of his stuff from his office and put it into a banker’s box. He took the few personal items down from the bookshelves and walls, rolled the posters up and tossed them in the trash. He had a feeling, no matter what Rob said, he wouldn’t be back in the fall. He had looked a few times at the museum’s Web site to see if they’d posted the job Shadi mentioned, but it still wasn’t up.

  He loaded everything into the truck and drove into town, stopping at Late for the Train for a coffee though he knew the caffeine was going to only make him jumpier, more on edge.

  It was cold but sunny out, the sun reflecting off of the snow, too bright. He searched for his sunglasses and then remembered leaving them on the table by the door on his way out of the house that morning. He squinted and pulled the visor down to shield some of the glare.

  He turned into the RV lot and drove the winding path to Shadi’s trailer. A woman walking down the road with a backpack and a walking stick waved at him as he passed.

  Shadi’s bike was leaning against the trailer.

  His hands were sweating. He shouldn’t be here. He could have sent her an e-mail, called. He could have made an anonymous call to the police department. But before he could do a U-turn and head back out of the lot, Shadi opened the trailer door and stepped out. She was wearing a dress, heels. Her hair was down around her shoulders. She had long silver earrings on.

  He parked the truck and rolled down the window.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hi.” She took a deep breath and straightened her dress.

  “Why are you so dressed up?” he asked.

  “I have an interview.”

  “For a job?” He knew she was graduating in the spring, and she planned to try to get a teaching job at a local charter school.

  “With a magazine.”

  “To work at a magazine?”

  Shadi laughed. “No, they’re interviewing me about my work. I have another exhibit coming up at the museum in a few weeks.”

  “That’s great! Do you need a ride into town or something?”

  “No, the woman is picking me up here and taking me out for a late lunch.”

  “When is she coming?” he asked.

  “Any minute.” She tucked a stray hair behind her ear and scratched her arm.

  He was still sitting in the truck. He knew that if he got out, he might never leave.

  “What happened to your truck?” she asked, running her finger along the scratch. He could almost feel her fingers touching the wound. She came closer to the window, put her fingers on the window frame.

  “I have some information about what might have happened that night,” he said.

  She closed her eyes slowly and opened them again.

  “There was a party, at a frat house. The kid, the one from the Laundromat, the one with the Mustang, was there. His name is Mark Fitch. His girlfriend was there too but won’t talk about it. I think one of my students might have been there as well.”

  “Why would Ricky be at a frat party?” she asked. “It doesn’t make sense. He didn’t have any friends on campus.”

  “I don’t know. I’m going to try to figure that out,” he said. “In the meantime, I think you should call the police.”

  “And tell them what?” Shadi asked, sighing. “That some college boy is bragging about beating up a drunk Indian at a party? That his girlfriend won’t talk about it?”

  As she spoke, he realized how thin the information was. How insubstantial.

  “Maybe it’s time to let it go,” Shadi said. “Let him rest in peace.”

  “You don’t mean that,” he said.

  “Ben, it’s time to let it go,” she said again, but this time he knew she wasn’t talking about Ricky. She touched his face and then backed away from the window.

  He heard a car idling behind him. He looked in the rearview mirror and saw a woman in a Volvo, waving at Shadi. “I have to go,” she said, straightening her dress and backing away from the truck.

  On Saturday, Ben and Sara drove down to Phoenix to get a crib. It seemed to Ben a little early to be buying furniture, but she was determined. She had been shopping for smaller items for weeks. Every day it seemed there was more stuff piling up in their room: pacifiers, tiny diapers, baby wipes and powder and stuffed animals.

  They could have ordered the crib online, but Sara insisted on going to the Babies “R” Us in Scottsdale and picking one out there. Besides, this way they could have lunch with her mom, and she could come along to help them pick it out. They might even get a little bit of Christmas shopping done.

  As far as Ben was concerned, the only bearable time to be in Phoenix is in the winter. But Phoenix at Christmastime was one of the strangest things Ben had ever experienced. Growing up in Maryland, they didn’t always get snow for Christmas, but they always got cold weather. In Phoenix, it was like some Disneyland version of the holiday, twinkling lights on cacti, fake pine garlands strung around lampposts, Santas in sunglasses, sweating inside their suits on every street corner.

  They pulled up at Sara’s parents’ house at noon, and Jeanine came running to the front door. She hadn’t seen Sara since Thanksgiving, and she immediately went for the belly. “Let me see, let me see!”

  There really wasn’t much of a difference in Sara’s stomach.

  She’d rounded out all over, but the actual belly remained pretty much the same.

  Sara put her hands on her hips, jutted her stomach out, and let her mother touch it.

  “Oh my goodness!” Jeanine said. “We should pick up some maternity clothes while we’re out today too. It won’t be long before you won’t be able to fit into your jeans anymore. How are you feeling? Still sick?”

  “Better. It kind of comes and goes. Some days are fine, and other days I’m throwing up all day.”

  “Well, come in. I’ll make some iced tea and we can sit out by the pool for a bit.”

  And then, as if just now remembering that Ben was also there, she stopped and said, “And how are you, Ben?” before she hugged him.

  Before Sara, Ben had not seen this kind of wealth. His own family had been middle class, living in a neighborhood of modest brick Cape Cods, all built in the same year, identical except for the color of the trim around the windows. He’d had some friends at Georgetown with money, but the ones who were rich didn’t talk about it much, and their families didn’t live in DC, so he never saw their houses.

  The house Sara g
rew up in could have held two or three of the houses in Ben’s neighborhood. It was on the country club where Frank golfed, and looked liked something in a Southwestern version of The Great Gatsby. The front doors were enormous, with leaded glass windows, flanked on either side by thick-trunked palm trees and giant stone pots filled with flowers. Inside was the great room with vaulted ceilings, marble floors, and a double stairwell. Six bedrooms, five bathrooms, a library, and a billiards room. There were fireplaces in most rooms, despite the fact that they were almost never used.

  It was a ridiculously beautiful home; he knew it embarrassed Sara a little. Ben would never have guessed that she had grown up in a house with a gourmet kitchen and a garage that could hold five cars. She was driving the same Camry she drove when he met her.

  Ben’s favorite part of the house, the only part where he felt truly at ease, was on the back patio. It was a huge open area, both indoors and outdoors at the same time. With comfortable chairs, an outdoor fireplace, a glistening pool, and an outdoor kitchen fully equipped with a gas grill and refrigerator, Ben thought he could probably live happily on this back patio.

  Jeanine busied herself with the iced tea in the kitchen while Sara and Ben made their way to the back. Sara plopped down in a wooden deck chair and slipped off her flip-flops. “It is so beautiful today,” she said, smiling. “God, I forgot how much I miss the weather down here.”

  Ben sat next to her and stretched. It was a beautiful day. Maybe he could convince Jeanine and Sara to go shopping without him, leave him there to drink Coronas by the pool all day.

  “What’s your dad up to?” he asked her.

  “Golf tournament,” she said. “He’ll be back by dinner.”

  “Are we staying for dinner tonight?”

  “I told you that,” she said, exasperated. “Dad’s grilling salmon.”

  Ben shrugged. Now that school was finally over, he had little on his plate. He had worked at the bar every day this week and gave his Saturday night shift to Ned. “It’s fine,” he said. “I just forgot.”

  Jeanine came out with the iced tea on a silver serving tray with a little white bowl of lemon slices.