Covet (Splendor Book 1)

by Janet Nissenson

  “I wouldn’t mind,” she’d offered quietly. “It wouldn’t be the first time, after all. And if I don’t go with you, how are you going to be able to afford living there? Especially since you won’t be earning a regular paycheck.”

  Peter had looked sheepish. “Frankly, I hadn’t thought that part out too well. Guess I was so excited about getting the job that I haven’t considered the more practical aspects. I figured I’d have to rent a room somewhere, a shared rental with a few other guys. The news agency might have some ideas, maybe I could bunk with some other employees who have the same sort of job I’ll have.”

  “But if I went along with you, we could afford a place of our own,” Tessa had pointed out excitedly. “I’m guessing it won’t be as big as this place but hopefully we wouldn’t have to settle for a shared rental.”

  “Maybe.” Peter had been dubious at the idea. “What about your job?”

  She’d told him then about what Mrs. C. had discovered, as well as the fact that all of the openings at regional headquarters paid much better than her current salary. “So transferring wouldn’t be a problem at all,” she had assured him. “And it would be a good career move for me. I don’t want to keep doing the same thing for much longer, Peter. I mean, I like my job but Mrs. C. is right – I’m sort of wasting my time there. And, well, I want to get out of Tucson, too. The whole southwest in fact. You aren’t the only one who has ghosts, you know.”

  He had still been hesitant, not convinced that she wasn’t offering to make this move for the right reasons. “Are you sure that’s your real motivation, Tess?” he’d asked gently. “Or is it just because you can’t handle the thought of being alone if I went without you?”

  “That’s part of it,” she’d admitted reluctantly. “You know I’m a coward, Peter. As well as insecure and introverted. And I’m still afraid that I’m going to become like my mother, and have to fight off the bouts of depression.”

  “Hey, none of that now, okay?” he’d told her firmly. “You’re not like your mother, Tess. You’ve never once had anything resembling a manic episode, and you’ve dealt with the depression really well. But I do worry about you moving to San Francisco under these circumstances, given that I’ll be away for weeks at a time. Wouldn’t you be better off staying here where things are familiar to you? And I realize you don’t have a lot of friends but at least you know people at work. If you go to San Francisco with me, you’ll be a stranger in a strange city, and I’m concerned about how you’d cope.”

  Tessa had nodded. “I know. Believe me, I’ve thought about all of that. And, well, maybe it would be good for me to be left alone for a few weeks at a time. You know, to learn how to depend on myself, manage things without you. And since I’d know you were coming back in a few weeks, it wouldn’t be like I’d be totally alone forever.”

  Peter had sighed. “You’re just postponing the inevitable, Tess. You know that, don’t you? This can’t go on for much longer – what passes for a marriage between us. I know you need more – a whole lot more – and it frustrates the hell out of me because I can’t give it you.”

  “I don’t need -” she’d begun to protest, until Peter had held up a hand.

  “Stop,” he’d insisted. “You do need it. All of it. Even more than you realize. And you have to stop hoping that one day I’ll be able to give it to you. Come on, Tess. We’ve been together for five years now and I can still barely tolerate being touched. Whereas you – well, you’re the most affectionate person I’ve ever known. You need someone in your life who can return that affection, who can be a real husband to you, give you children. And I wish with all my heart that I could be that man, because I know I’d never come close to finding someone like you ever again. But I – can’t, Tess. I just can’t. And every time I realize that I feel like hell. So I should really set my foot down right now and tell you a flat-out no, that I’m moving to San Francisco alone and filing for divorce so that you can finally be free to have the sort of life you deserve. But, well, you do bring up some good points.”

  Tessa’s heart had sunk a bit more with each word he’d uttered, especially since she had known them to be true. Their physical relationship was as messed up as ever, barely existent, and certainly not in the least bit fulfilling or satisfying for her. The only times she’d ever had an orgasm had been by her own hand, most often after one of the erotic dreams that still came to her every so often. She tried to convince herself that none of that mattered, that there were other facets to a relationship and a marriage besides sex. She and Peter got along in a lot of other ways, were best friends, and she cherished his friendship, guidance, and support more than she could properly express. He was the only constant in her life, the only person she’d ever truly been able to depend on, and the thought of him leaving for good terrified her beyond words.

  But Peter’s last words had filled her with renewed hope, and she’d jumped on them immediately.

  “You’ve helped me so much these past few years, Peter,” she’d told him earnestly. “Let me try and repay some of what you’ve done by going with you to San Francisco. You know you won’t be able to afford a place of your own without me, and can you really bear the thought of sharing a rental with three or four other people? Who knows,” she’d joked rather feebly, “it might be worse than the place we shared with the party animals.”

  Peter had shuddered and given a weak laugh in response. “I don’t think anyplace could be worse than that,” he’d retorted wryly. “But – maybe. Let me think on it for a couple of days, Tess. Okay? But you need to start coming to grips with the fact that this has to end sooner than later. You need to finally start living, and I – well, I need to stop feeling like a failure.”

  In the end, Peter had somewhat reluctantly agreed to let her make the move with him, acknowledging that it would be better for Tessa in the long run to get used to living on her own gradually rather than all at once. She would have that sort of opportunity during his lengthy business trips, when he would be traveling through Cambodia or the Philippines or Indonesia for weeks at a time. She’d get settled into her new job, make new friends, and adjust to living in San Francisco before she had to adjust to living permanently without her husband.

  But she could tell now that all of Peter’s doubts were returning, given her rather dismayed reaction upon seeing the tiny apartment he’d found for them. Tessa fixed a determined smile on her face and gave a little shrug. “Hey, I’ve certainly lived in worse places in my life,” she remarked with a feigned casualness. “Smaller ones, too. It’s going to be an adjustment, that’s for sure, but I’m excited about making this move, Peter. And about living in this city.”

  Tessa had honestly not known what to expect when she’d arrived in San Francisco for the first time. She and Peter had driven up here in a rented U-Haul truck tightly packed with all of their belongings, a truck that was parked right outside the aging apartment building at this moment. But what she had seen so far of this bustling, almost frantically energized city, had fascinated her – albeit in an odd, rather shocking manner. Everything was so different than the sprawling desert communities she had always lived in, but those differences were intriguing, exciting, stimulating.

  Peter gazed at her in concern. “You’re really sure?” he asked worriedly. “I mean, our place back in Tucson was almost twice this size, and a whole lot newer. We don’t even have a dishwasher here or a balcony, and we’re going to be bumping into furniture every time we move.”

  She didn’t want to admit that she’d been thinking the exact same things, too afraid that Peter would change his mind about their arrangement and send her back to Tucson. And she couldn’t leave, couldn’t run away. Tessa had been afraid of too many things in her twenty-two years, hadn’t wanted to take chances or challenge herself. But she was tired of living in fear, of not really living at all. And she sensed that this move to San Francisco was going to change her life in a lot of ways, that she was at a crossroads in her life, and that the path s
he chose at this particular moment would have a ripple affect on her entire future.

  So she gave Peter her brightest, most confident smile, and nodded enthusiastically. “I’m really, really sure,” she insisted. “Come on, let’s go start hauling our stuff upstairs. After all, this place also doesn’t seem to have an elevator.”

  After working for Francine Carrington for more than three years, Tessa hadn’t honestly believed she could ever be truly intimidated by anyone ever again. The diminutive but rather terrifying woman had, after all, caused grown men to tiptoe past her office in fear, and she had made more than one receptionist or reservations clerk cry. Mrs. C. had done her damndest to “toughen” Tessa up, as she’d phrased it, and had encouraged her to stick up for herself and not allow other people or situations to daunt her.

  Tessa knew that Mrs. C. and her husband Oliver were childless, but she wondered now if perhaps the man seated across from her might be related in some form or another to her former boss. Andrew Doherty was, in his own way, every bit as fearsome and intimidating as Mrs. C. had ever been, and it was all Tessa could do to keep her knees from knocking together or her hands from trembling as he studied her behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses, She knew, just knew, that the all-too-serious brown eyes behind the lenses never missed a trick.

  She was extremely grateful that the outfit she’d chosen to wear for today’s interview had been the absolute nicest thing she own. Most of her work clothes were things she’d bought from inexpensive chain stores, or from a couple of bargain priced online apparel sites. It had been Mrs. C. who’d suggested she buy a few more upscale items in anticipation of her move to San Francisco, where the overall dress code – in particular at the Gregson Group offices – was certain to be more formal and businesslike than it was in Tucson. She had steered Tessa to a consignment store, where one could find higher quality clothing at reasonable prices. Even so, Tessa hadn’t been able to afford much, but the black silk wool pencil skirt, white silk blouse, black cardigan sweater, and black pumps that she wore this morning were all far nicer than anything else in her limited wardrobe. She’d already noticed how fashionably everyone here was dressed, and how much more sophisticated the office décor was when compared to the resort-like atmosphere of the Tucson hotel.

  “You don’t have a college degree.”

  Tessa shook her head in response to Andrew’s statement. “No. I, um, hope to go back to school one day and take care of that, but right now I’ve only completed a two-year certification program at community college.”

  Andrew placed her resume – a double-spaced, single page – on top of his desk, as though he’d already memorized anything of importance she’d included. “Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t even be considering you for this position without a four-year degree, Tessa,” he told her in his brisk, no-nonsense manner. “Granted, it isn’t a PA position – in which case you wouldn’t have even been referred to me – but the Management Support Team plays an extremely important role here on the executive floor. Mr. Gregson and all of the other managers rely heavily on the team to assist with a wide variety of tasks, and each team member has to meet some very high standards. However, I do see that you’ve had quite a bit of training in advanced Excel functions. Is that correct?”

  Tessa resisted the urge to wipe her damp palms on the fabric of her brand-new - albeit secondhand - designer skirt. “Yes, that’s correct, Mr. Doherty. I took a full two years of Excel classes at school as part of the certification program, and I’ve also completed several additional workshops and seminars to learn advanced skills.”

  Andrew gave a brief nod. “Any particular reason? I can’t imagine you had much use for some of those skills in the position you held.”

  She lifted her shoulders in a tiny shrug. “No particular reason, no. Just that I enjoy working with that program, enjoy learning all the little intricacies that most people don’t even know exist with it. I – I wasn’t terribly good at math during high school but for some reason learning Excel came much easier to me.”

  “Mr. Gregson in particular uses Excel a great deal to keep track of various statistics at the hotels, and also for forecasting and such. Unfortunately, it’s been difficult to find someone who has the type of skills that you do, Tessa. If you are, in fact, as proficient as your resume states, then you’d make a very valuable addition to the support team. Now, I realize that Mrs. Horner has already administered all of the usual clerical tests, but I’ll need to see first hand if you can actually perform the various Excel functions that Mr. Gregson has specific need of. Please, have a seat here if you would.”

  Andrew stood and indicated that Tessa should sit in his place in front of his computer. On slightly shaky legs she did as he asked, sitting down gratefully, and willing her nerves back under control.

  “There’s a spreadsheet already opened on the screen as you see,” continued Andrew. “This is a list of some of the functions I’d like you to demonstrate for me.”

  Tessa glanced fleetingly at the typewritten list of some of the more advanced functions of the spreadsheet program – parameterization, nesting calculations, cell comments, SUMIF and COUNTIF, R1C1 reference style. She breathed a little sigh of relief, as she was more than proficient in all of these skills and more.

  Over the next hour, her fingers flew over the keyboard as she demonstrated her proficiency at one function after another. Through it all Andrew said little, merely nodding here and there, and jotting something down on a notepad occasionally.

  When she had arrived here at the Gregson Group offices earlier today for her interview with Sheila Horner in the Human Resources department, Tessa had never in her wildest dreams imagined that she would have been referred up to the executive floor. Sheila, a very businesslike but personable woman in her late forties, had studied Tessa’s resume along with the glowing letter of recommendation Mrs. Carrington had written – the first time the cantankerous office manager had ever done such a thing, according to her – and then proceeded to administer all of the clerical tests that Tessa had already completed during her original interview in Tucson.

  “I know you’ve done all these before,” Sheila had murmured apologetically, “but unfortunately I’m going to need you to repeat them. I just need to see for myself that you’ve kept all your skills up, and also what level they’re currently at.”

  Tessa had assured her there was no problem in going through the tests again, not that she would have dared offered up a protest. It was vitally important that she make a good impression now, in order to secure the best possible position available to her. She’d aced every test, doing even better than she had three years ago, and silently thanked Mrs. C. for pushing her to improve her skills and not get complacent.

  Sheila had scanned over all of the results, and then glanced at Tessa’s resume again. “I have two or three different openings that I could place you in right away,” she confided. “And every one of the department managers would be over the moon to have someone as competent as you to join their staff. But I’m going to stick my neck out here a bit and get you in to interview with Andrew Doherty. He’s Mr. Gregson’s PA, and they happen to have a somewhat urgent need to fill a spot on their Management Support Team. I think you might just fit the bill, Tessa.”

  Sheila had briefly explained the function of this support team, how the six members handled overflow tasks and projects that the executive PA’s either didn’t have time to handle, or that they considered a bit too mundane or beneath their status. Evidently one of the team members had just transferred out of these offices a few days ago and was now working at the local Gregson hotel, and it was her position that needed to be filled. Sheila did not offer up an explanation as to why the woman had left so abruptly, and Tessa resisted the urge to ask.

  A quick phone call to Andrew was made, instructions were received to send Tessa straight up, and Sheila gave her a bit of last minute advice.

  “Don’t let Andrew scare you off,” she cautioned. “He’s got a
reputation for being something of a tyrant around here, and no one can remember seeing him smile even one time. He’s all business all the time, and has zero tolerance for anyone who doesn’t take their job as seriously as he does. Just keep a stiff upper lip as all these Brits like to say, keep your nerves in check, and remember that his bite is worse than his bark. But I think he’ll like you, Tessa, and that you’d be an asset to the team. Good luck.”

  Tessa waited now with bated breath as Andrew studied her work with a discerning eye, no doubt checking and re-checking for any tiny error. Fortunately, one of the many work ethics Mrs. Carrington had instilled in her from the very beginning was to check and re-check everything she did multiple times, so that she was quite confident her spreadsheet was without flaw.

  “You can return to your seat now.”

  Tessa nearly sprang to her feet at Andrew’s rather terse command, and was quick to comply. He sat back down behind his desk, made a few more notes on his pad, and then gave her a brief nod.

  “All right, then. I’m prepared to give you a ninety-day trial in the position. If it doesn’t work out, then of course you’ll still be able to transfer to another job locally. But I believe you’ll do quite well, Tessa,” he acknowledged. “In spite of your lack of schooling, you’re bright and articulate and seem like the quiet, serious sort. I think that you and I can work well together. Provided, of course, that you’re willing to work very hard and abide by our code of conduct here.”

  Andrew’s particular “code of conduct” consisted of not just a corporate dress code – a double-sided sheet of paper that he handed to her – but also an intolerance for tardiness or unexcused absences; a very strong dislike of any sort of gossip; the discouragement of discussing any sort of personal business while at the office; and not performing the tasks assigned on a timely and efficient basis.