“Our marriage will be over, Tess, but not our friendship,” he reassured her. “We’ll always be family, okay? And I’ll help with money as much as I can. The lease on this place isn’t up until April, you know, and you won’t be able to afford the rent on your own. I’ll put some money in your account each month until the lease is up and you can move to a cheaper place.”
She hid her face against her bent knees, unable to think about practical things like paying bills or eventually having to move. “How long?”
“The divorce will take a few months to be final.”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” she corrected. “How long until – you leave?”
“I fly to New York tomorrow morning. I’ll be going through a two week orientation program, finalizing my work visa and stuff like that. I leave for Bahrain after that.”
Tessa heaved a weary sigh. “So this is it, huh? Our last night together. Can’t we have a few more days, Peter? So I can get used to the idea a little.”
“It’s better this way, Tess,” he insisted. “I know you won’t agree, but if I stay any longer you’ll just try to convince me to forget about everything. And I’ve been putting a move like this off for far too long already. It’s time, Tessa. Time for both of us to start over.”
Her bottom lip trembled. “I know I’ve held you back. I know the only reason you stayed with me so long was because I was too helpless to take care of myself.”
“That’s bullshit, Tess. We’ve gone over this too many times to count. You are not helpless or incompetent or dumb. Or any of the other unflattering terms you always insult yourself with. You’re smart and capable and you amaze me every day with how much you’ve grown.”
She raised huge eyes to him. “I’m scared, Peter,” she confessed in a trembling voice. “Scared of being alone. And terrified that I’m going to be like her.”
“You aren’t. You won’t. You’re nothing like your mother, Tessa, nothing,” Peter assured her fiercely. “You’re so much stronger than you’re even aware of. And I know how hard this is but you’re going to be okay. If I didn’t believe that I wouldn’t be leaving.”
“Will you hold me?”
He took her into his arms, rocking her gently as though she were a small child. “Of course I will.”
“I knew something bad was going to happen today. I felt it the minute I woke up. God, I hate Wednesdays,” she said bitterly.
“Shh. It’s just a silly coincidence, nothing more. I’ve been telling you that for years, and it’s the truth Now, we should both get some rest. My flight leaves pretty early in the morning.”
Tessa wasn’t certain she could sleep, given how upset she was, but as she snuggled close against Peter she did manage to fall into a somewhat restless slumber, hoping against hope that she would wake to find all of this was just a bad dream.
But when her alarm went off the next morning, she was once again alone in the bed, as she was so often these days. And this time, Peter wouldn’t be back. It was just her now, no one else to depend on, no husband or family or close friends. And somehow, some way, she was going to have to learn all over again how to cope with being entirely on her own in the world.
Chapter Twenty
October
She should have been frightened, or at the very least nervous, given that she was alone in a dimly lit room, and not only completely nude but laid out on a polished wood table. Her arms and legs were stretched in opposite directions, nearly in a spread eagle position, and though she couldn’t see the ties that bound her in place they were definitely there, holding her captive. But likely a willing captive, considering her total lack of fear or apprehension. It was as though she knew what awaited her, knew who awaited her.
She closed her eyes, willing her rapidly beating heart to slow back down to normal, and took deep, even breaths. She recognized what she was feeling as anticipation, excitement even, and a little shiver ran up and down her naked spine at what was to come. Exactly what that was she still wasn’t quite sure, but it was almost certainly something pleasurable. Otherwise, she reasoned, why wouldn’t she be struggling to break free or calling out for someone to rescue her?
His scent preceded him into the room, the scent that she would always recognize as belonging solely to him. It was a heady, sensual smell, a thoroughly masculine scent that could never be reproduced in a bottle. She knew, then, who he was, and why she was here, and even before he could do so much as touch her she was aroused and ready for what was to come.
He was still half in shadow, only the profile of his sinfully handsome face revealed to her. For once he was unshaven, the strong planes of his cheeks and jaw darkly stubbled, but she realized that she preferred him this way. His hand reached out and gently, tenderly, cupped her flushed cheek, his thumb brushing softly over her trembling lips.
“Tessa.”
The sound of her name was a whispered caress, and she began to breathe a bit unsteadily as he continued to touch her cheek. “I’m here,” she murmured. “Just as you said I would be one day.”
He laughed softly as his fingertips trailed a sensuous path across her collarbone. “You have a very good memory. And you’re quite right, Tessa. I told you that one day I would claim you for my own, when the time was right. And it’s finally right, isn’t it, my love? But I already know that the wait has been well worth it. My God, look at you.”
She gasped as he drew his index finger down between her breasts ever so slowly, as though he had been anticipating this moment for a very long time. Unhurriedly, he rubbed his thumb over each of her already taut nipples, and his sensuous smile deepened at the low whimper she emitted at this very deliberate arousal.
“Beautiful,” he rasped, his hand gently squeezing her right breast. He bent his dark head to run his tongue over the nipple. “Mine.”
Tessa made a small sound of protest as he lifted his head and moved away a few steps, but he only stroked her hair in reassurance.
“Hush,” he soothed. “I’m right here, my love. Just lighting the candles.”
She hadn’t noticed until now the dozen or more votive candles arranged in a semi-circle around the space where she lay. One at a time he lit them until a soft glow filled the otherwise darkened room. She didn’t know what time it was, but could tell from the lack of sunlight in the room that night had fallen outside. She recognized now where she was – the conference room in the office, and the long table on which she rested was the same one used for the meetings. Why she was here, and laid out in this particular position, Tessa had no idea, but oddly had no desire to question the circumstances.
The additional light from the candles now threw his face into prominence, and her breath grew a bit more unsteady as she glimpsed the hungry, possessive way he was studying her prone body. His intense gaze upon her felt like a caress, a possession, a claiming, and she knew without being asked that she would willingly give herself over to him, would do whatever he asked of her no matter what. But she also knew – sensed – that he would never push her too far, or demand anything that she wasn’t prepared to give.
Without warning, he threaded a hand into her hair, lifting her head a few inches off the table. Tessa almost recoiled at the look in his eyes – a look of smoldering, intense passion – and for a brief moment she wondered if she would actually be able to handle a man like him.
But his next words and actions didn’t permit her to have another doubt, or give her the opportunity to refuse him.
“I’ve wanted to do this since the first moment I saw you,” he told her in a husky voice, just before capturing her lips in a deep, soul-searching kiss.
Tessa moaned beneath the firm pressure of his lips, and the bold sweep of his tongue through her mouth. She tugged futilely on her invisible bonds, longing to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him in even closer. The kiss went on for endless minutes, one kiss leading into another, until she began to grow dizzy, her lower body arching upwards in a silent plea.
“Shh.”
He placed a hand on her heaving belly, calming her. “Everything is all right now, Tessa. Everything is finally as it should have been all along. Let me take care of you now, cherish you the way a woman like you should always be adored.”
“Please.” The word escaped her lips raggedly as she pulled at the unseen ties that bound her wrists.
“Ah. You want me to untie you, is that it?” he asked, chuckling. “But what would I untie, Tessa? Do you see anything holding you in place? Rope? Chains? A scarf, perhaps?” He bent down to whisper in her ear. “There is nothing keeping you bound, my love. Except, of course, your own desire to surrender to me. And if that’s not what you want, all you have to do is think it and the bonds will disappear.”
She shook her head in denial. “I – I don’t want them to,” she breathed. “I want to – to give myself to you. To surrender.”
His warm lips moved down the side of her throat. “Of course you do,” he crooned. “And in return for such sweet surrender, I’ll give you everything you want in return. Pleasure like you’ve never known before. Like this.”
Tessa cried out as he drew one nipple into his mouth, sucking at it deeply. With his left hand, he cupped the other full, swollen breast, his skilled fingers plucking at the sensitive peak until she was nearly mad with sensation.
But he was just getting started, it seemed, intent on arousing her so completely that she was all feeling, all sensation, and couldn’t have summoned up a single coherent thought if her life depended upon it. He slid one big hand down over her stomach, and then between her spread thighs, where she was already wet and needy.
“Ah, God.” She groaned as he penetrated her with two long fingers, hooking them over her pubic bone and pressing the tips firmly into that supremely sensitive spot deep up inside her.
He slowly withdrew his fingers, bringing them to his lips. In the glow of the candle lit room she could see the wetness on his fingertips, the wetness he’d drawn from her body. He looked like walking sin as he deliberately licked his fingers, tasting her. She noticed that he’d removed both his suit jacket and his tie, and had unbuttoned his crisp white dress shirt several inches, giving her a glimpse of his tanned, firmly sculpted chest. With his dark hair, tanned skin, and stubbled chin and cheeks, he reminded her of the devil – but a gorgeous, magnificent devil, one whose eyes held promises of all sorts of wicked things.
“Mmm.” He nearly smacked his lips as he savored the taste of her on his tongue. “Delicious. Except that a small taste like that has only whet my appetite for more.”
His hands bracketed her hips, holding her in place as though he expected her to lurch off the table otherwise. And as his lips touched her quivering belly before moving gradually lower, she knew what his intent was, knew that he was about to perform the most intimate of acts on her, something that no one else had ever done. But rather than resist him, she merely closed her eyes and let her head fall back in anticipation of the ecstasy that was to come. And at the first faint, almost teasing touch of his lips on –
The alarm continued to buzz insistently, rudely awakening her from the first truly sound sleep she’d had in a month. Tessa bolted upright in the bed, one arm reaching out to fumble with the annoying alarm, and somehow managing to turn it off. She wrapped her arms around her raised knees, bowing her head forward as she struggled to still the frantic pounding of her heart. She wasn’t the least surprised to discover the fine layer of sweat that misted her body, or that her breasts felt unnaturally heavy and tender. And as she began to recall the very intimate details of the erotic dream she’d been so rudely awakened from moments ago, she flung herself onto the mattress, groaning as she buried her hot face against the pillow.
“Oh, God, not again!” she muttered, her voice muffled by the pillow. This was at least the fourth – or was it the fifth? – such dream she’d had this month alone. Her hormones must need adjusting, she thought wildly. Otherwise, why would she be having so many of these explicit, arousing, and borderline pornographic fantasies in her sleep?
“Because you need to get laid, that’s why,” she whispered out loud. “You haven’t had sex in a really long time. And, let’s face it, Tessa. What you did have with Peter wasn’t actual sex. It was – I don’t even know what to call it.”
It had been just over a month now since Peter had left for his new job – and his new life – and Tessa had struggled every day since to adjust. And while being alone was certainly nothing new to her after these past two years, the realization that this time he wasn’t coming back changed everything. She was lonely and bereft, finding it just a little bit harder each day to drag herself out of bed and go to work. She was sad and depressed and had to restrain herself multiple times a day from bursting into tears. Even Kevin’s corny jokes and frequent attempts to coax a smile from her didn’t help most days, and she was miserably aware that he and the rest of her co-workers must sense that something was wrong. Thus far she’d been able to fob Kevin off with excuses, not ready just yet to admit that her marriage was over. She’d never been one to discuss her private life at the office, and the topic of her impending divorce was especially sensitive, particularly personal.
She heaved a tired sigh as she got out of bed, wrinkling her nose in distaste as she realized that her cotton nightgown was clinging to her clammy skin. She pulled off the dampened garment and shoved it into the clothes hamper before turning on the shower. With no time to dry her long hair, she hastily clipped it up on the top of her head so it wouldn’t get wet during her brief shower.
Tessa shuddered as her soapy palms skimmed over her breasts, the nipples tender to the touch, and she hoped this wasn’t a symptom of PMS. The last thing she needed right now was to suffer through another heavy, painful period. But PMS might explain why she’d been so hormonal lately, not just weepy and depressed, but, well – horny. And maybe, just maybe, it was what had triggered that exceptionally erotic dream she’d just woken from.
It was unusual for her to remember any specific details about a dream, no matter if it was a pleasurable one or a horrible nightmare. But this morning, as she washed herself, she could still recall how it had felt to be touched by him – by the dream lover who looked and sounded exactly like her incredibly hot but ultra intimidating boss.
A gasp escaped her throat as she lightly, almost experimentally, tugged at her nipple. The sensation was like an electric pulse, traveling all the way down to her womb and causing her to shudder in reaction. Her eyes shut, not even noticing when the lukewarm water started to turn cool, as she recalled more details of that stirring dream – how it had felt to have Ian’s lips kissing her deeply, how his hand had fondled her breasts so possessively, how wet she’d been when he had thrust two long fingers deep up inside of her.
Her hand slid slowly, reluctantly, down over her stomach, pausing when it reached her pubic hair. Tentatively, she slid one finger inside of her vagina before snatching it away quickly when she realized just how wet she was. She whimpered in need, reluctant to touch herself that way, but desperately needing some sort of release. She conjured up the image of Ian’s darkly handsome face, imagined that he was here in the shower with her at this very moment, and that it was his hand cupping her damp, aching sex, his thumb whisking over the engorged nub of her clitoris over and over.
When the orgasm hit, it hit hard, enough so that she had to brace her back against the chipped tile walls of the shower to support her shaky limbs. She was breathing heavily as she slowly regained her bearings, burying her flushed face in her hands as she struggled not to feel ashamed at what had just happened.
Tessa had to hurry through the rest of her morning routine, not daring to be late since she had the bi-monthly architects meeting to set up for. But images from the stimulating dream she’d had during the night continued to taunt her during the bus ride to work. She knew it was a sign of some sort, a signal that she really, really needed to get out more and start meeting new people, and, more specifically, finding a new man. But the very thoug
ht of getting out there and actually trying to date made her cringe with dread, not to mention baffle her since she had absolutely no idea of where to begin.
As she exited the bus and entered the lobby of the office building, she tried to imagine herself going out to a club or a bar with the intent of meeting someone. Her tummy felt a little queasy as she recalled how frantic and crowded the places she and Peter had gone to that one time with her co-workers had been – the throbbing beat of the overloud music; the nausea-inducing strobe lights; how stuffy and hot it had felt inside each club with so many bodies packed so tightly together. What passed for dancing in those places had seemed more like public sex to Tessa, with couples bumping and grinding against each other in extremely suggestive ways. And while most young women her age might think a night spent hopping from one of those types of clubs to another was the most fun ever, the mere thought filled her with a cold sense of dread.
She knew without being told that Ian Gregson would never even consider setting foot inside such a place. Loud, wild, and crowded dance clubs would definitely not be his scene. Dreamily, Tessa tried to imagine what a date with someone as sophisticated and refined as he was would be like – dinner at a quietly elegant restaurant, followed by the theater or the ballet, or perhaps just a casual, romantic stroll somewhere. He would never dream of doing something as undignified as grope a woman’s ass in public, or make out with her on a packed dance floor, the way she’d glimpsed so many couples doing at those clubs.
‘What difference does it make, though?’ she asked herself in annoyance as she arrived at her cubicle. ‘A man like him is never going to be attracted to someone as insignificant as you, Tessa. So stop daydreaming about him right now, you hear? You’ll meet the right man one of these days. Probably when you’re least expecting it. You just need to think of a way to, well, get yourself out there more.’
Covet (Splendor Book 1) Page 32
