"I know. It hurts."
"Then don't let your personal life interfere with your duties to this country."
"You're right. I apologize. I will do better." Doss says.
"That's all I want. Now eat up. We meet back at the airfield in an hour."
Doss finally talks himself into trying the oatmeal and he's actually pleasantly surprised. It's not bad. It's not good, but it's better than he thought. "So what's so bad about Barren Void?"
"Remember that planet where the IGR sent all the scraps and spare parts of equipment that didn't work or that they had left over from building the other planets?"
"Sure."
"That's Barren Void." Velex says as he takes a bite of his omelet. "Guess what else is on that planet? Uninhibited clouds of nanobots that have only grown stronger in the absence of regulation and with the increased radiation from the nuclear dumping that went on there for decades. Anyone who is sent to Barren Void meets a terribly slow and agonizing death to exposure from a malfunctioning weather simulator, radiation poisoning, and nanobots that eat them from the inside. It's not a fate I would wish on my worst enemy."
"So now Michael is going to face that?"
"Indeed. It's absolutely inhumane and beyond cruel. If Dressler is exiling people out there now without a second thought, then I need you to be on your best behavior. I can't have you sent out there to die. I want you to keep a low profile, well, as low of one as you can. Don't openly say anything against the chancellor or the IGR. If you see any signs of Shadow Spies around your apartment, you are to report that to me immediately. Keep a close eye on Katarina and make sure she knows the laws up here that can be a bit confusing for outsiders. There will be no more stealing ships to go down to Earth without written permission from Dressler himself. We can't chance one of us being exiled. They used to exile prisoners to Strafe, but with the rebellions, that's not really an option anymore. Giving your enemy more soldiers isn't exactly a good way to shut down a rebellion."
"And what about the stocks he threatened all of us with?" Doss asks. "That's new."
Velex scoffs. "It's ridiculous. He can't just use fear to govern us. We're his highest ranking officials, for Christ's sake. So the stocks are in the middle of town and you're stripped naked then locked in them so you can't move your arms and you're forced to stand bent over and vulnerable as anyone and everyone can hit you, throw things at you, or do whatever else they want."
"That sounds awful."
"They've been used once. That was about a month ago to shame and torture a convicted rapist before he was executed. Now Dressler has the absolutely insane idea that he's going to put us in them? And what will that do for troop morale? Seeing their commanders humiliated like that? Dressler has lost his mind. Maybe we should put him in them and see how he likes it."
Did he really just say that? "Don't talk like that where people could hear you. If you get caught doing something, you know he'll come after me too."
"Then the same goes for you. Be a model citizen and obey every law or we'll face that punishment that I would really rather avoid at all costs." Velex scrolls through a file on his watch. "How is Katarina holding up after Byron's death?"
"It's strange. I think she's lost the ability to function like a human being. It's concerning, actually. She doesn't show any emotions. I have to order her around to do the most basic things like brush her hair or get dressed. She hasn't said a word to me since the other night."
"Give her time. She loved Byron very much so she has to be hurting. Anyway, are you ready to go? We have to land on Strafe in two days."
Doss finishes off his oatmeal. "I want Katarina to come with me."
"No way. I'm not letting you take an unauthorized person on board your ship."
"Then I'll take a space fighter. She can be my copilot." Doss says.
"No. Didn't you hear a word of our conversation we just had? You don't want to end up in the stocks."
"I can't leave her here alone."
"She won't be alone." Velex says. "She has Kazimir, Zach, and Blice."
"They're so busy in the science department with whatever project they've been working on that they won't have time for her. You don't seem to understand how bad off she really is right now. Last night, I tried to hold her in bed, but she acted like I wasn't even there. She has zero emotion for anything and it scares me. I even brought her some of her favorite desert and she ignored me. She loves strawberry shortcake."
"Like I said before, you have to give her time to cope with everything. Think about all she's lost in the past two months. Her brother, her father, her husband, and she doesn't even know about Jarred and Jayce. You haven't told her about them yet, have you?"
"Not yet, but I think I will. She knows something isn't right and she's been asking questions about them."
"It's not the correct time to bring it up." Velex says as he pays the bill. "If she is as bad off as you claim she is, then we need to save that bad news for after she recovers. Piling on more isn't going to help her."
"But coming with me will. I can get her out of my apartment and take her flying. She'll love it."
He gives Doss another warning look. "Don't disobey orders, Doss."
"It's the only way I'm going to be able to help her."
Velex sighs as he ties his golden sash around his waist. "As your superior, I forbid you to bring Katarina. As your friend, I say go for it."
"Thank you, Axel."
"Don't thank me yet. Remember that we have to stream footage live back to Dressler and if she is found on that footage, you will be in trouble. I'm not taking the blame for it. I wash my hands of this right now. So if you want to risk being put in the stocks, then by all means, do it. Just know that you won't have any sympathy from me."
20
Doss runs up the stairs to his apartment rather than taking the elevator. It takes too long. The last thing he wants to do is be late and unprepared again. He can't handle taking another scar. He slides his key card through the blue hologram and the door slides open. Abel runs up to him and watches obediently as Doss places his bag down in a chair. He's worried when he sees the lights are all off, but he smiles when he spots Katarina over in the kitchen pouring herself a cup of coffee in the light from the open window. Her hair is a mess and she's wearing his boxers and a tank top. At least she's out of bed. "Hey, baby."
Katarina's hands shake as she sets down her cup on the counter and pushes her purple bangs behind her ears. She takes down a small bottle from the cabinet and pours a couple pills into her mouth.
What are those? "Kat, what are you taking?"
"Pills."
Oh no. Not this. "What kind? Don't do this. It's not the answer. Believe me. I know you saw your father struggle with drug addiction, but I can't have you fall into that same trap."
"It's aspirin."
Just aspirin? Now he feels bad. "Oh. Sorry. Feeling a bit better?"
"No."
Doss pets Abel then goes over to the dresser and pulls out some of Katarina's clothes. He tosses them on the bed. He turns on the lights and his heart breaks again when he sees her pink puffy eyes. She's been crying a lot. "Come on, Kat. You can get coffee later. Get dressed."
"Where are we going?" Katarina asks.
"Into space. Has Abel been keeping you company?"
"No. He ate my shoe."
He picks up the tattered fabric. "Wear your boots."
"I'm not stupid."
"Have you ever flown a plane or a space fighter of any kind? A transport?"
She starts removing her clothes without caring that Doss is looking right at her. "No."
Doss turns away as she dresses. "Time to learn, baby. We're going to Strafe. I thought I could take you with me so you can get out of here for a bit. You don't need to be cooped up in here all day. I wasn't going to leave you alone for that long. We could be gone for a week so pack a small bag of essentials."
"Why do I have to go?"
"Because I don't want to leav
e you here. Besides, I can teach you about some of what I do. Doesn't that sound fun?"
"No."
Doss sighs and rubs his eyes. At this rate, he's going to need some aspirin for his growing headache. "Here, I'll help you." He picks up a bag and packs some clothes and toiletries inside. "What else do you need? Are you on your period?"
She gives him a go to hell look and yanks the bag away from him. "That's none of your business."
"Sorry. I'm just in a hurry."
"Then go without me." Katarina says. "I don't care."
"Don't be like this. You'll have fun. Want to put on some makeup? Maybe a little blush? You look awful."
Again, Katarina's glare pierces into his soul.
How to fix this? "That came out wrong. You know I think you're beautiful."
"Shut up."
At this point, Doss would rather be back at this morning's inspection. At least that pain was temporary and not completely soul-crushing. "Ever thought about joining the military?" He asks with a grin.
Katarina holds up her middle finger as she brushes her teeth at the kitchen sink.
Guess that's the answer to that question. "Come on. You have to snap out of this."
"Don't tell me what to do!"
"Don't yell at me, Heather!"
Katarina raises an eyebrow and continues packing.
Oh hell. What did he just do? Why did he say her name? It must be a result of how much he talked about her the other night to the guys. "I meant Katarina."
"Sure you did."
Well, this day just got infinitely worse. What else can go wrong? Hasn't he suffered enough already? Now this?
"Who's Heather?" Katarina asks.
"No one."
"Really? You just called me Heather. Who is she? Are you seeing someone else?"
"There's no one else. I swear it." He glances at this watch. "Hurry up. We have to leave. We can talk once we're flying."
* * *
After a quick meeting with Velex, Doss climbs into the space fighter and helps Katarina inside. "You're my copilot."
"Your what?"
"You're my copilot. Don't freak out. Sit beside me." Doss says as he flips on a row of switches above him and the consoles light up. "Your primary job is to keep an eye on my altimeter. If we get into a dogfight and things get heated, I will need you to monitor that for me and keep an eye out on the radar for any enemy fighters."
Katarina sits next to him in her black flight suit. "Fighting? We're going to be fighting?"
"Don't worry. I'm the single most capable fighter pilot in the IGR. You have nothing to worry about."
"You crashed a multitrillion dollar prototype not even a month ago." Katarina says darkly.
"That wasn't my fault. That fighter was sabotaged by Gabriel."
"You know that for a fact now?"
"The investigation was inconclusive." Doss starts up the space fighter and hands Katarina an oxygen mask. "Put this on. Do not take it off."
"Doss?"
"What?"
"What's an altimeter?" Katarina asks as she buckles her safety restraints.
"Dear God."
"Please don't get mad at me."
"I'm not mad, just in a hurry and don't have much time to explain everything." Doss says. "See that screen right there? If that number drops below five thousand while we're inside either our atmosphere or Strafe's, I want you to scream at me over your communicator that is directly connected to mine. Okay?"
"Gotcha."
Once Doss is in the air and through the atmosphere, he hits his cruising speed and settles into his position in the formation with the other pilots. This is going to be a long trip, especially if Katarina is still in a bad mood. Everything looks good so he slips off his headset and leans back in his chair. "So . . . you're talking today. That's a good sign."
She shrugs her shoulders. "I guess."
"I was worried about you."
"I'm fine."
"Don't lie to me, Kat."
She studies him for a few seconds. "What happened to your face? Are those stitches?"
"It's a disciplinary scar. Just a military thing."
"Did Velex do that to you?"
"He had to." Doss says. "I wasn't prepared for inspection and I disobeyed orders. It's more of a shame thing than for pain. Now I'll always have it as a sign of my disobedience."
"Who is Heather?"
"The first woman I ever liked. I killed her."
Katarina doesn't say anything in response. She watches space pass by through the glass.
"That was before I had evolved to feel the full scope of human emotions. My programming drove me to do that. I'm not that same person. You don't have to worry. I would never hurt you like that."
"How did you kill her?"
There's no point in hiding this from her anymore. If she is going to be his wife, then he has to be able to tell her every painful detail from his past. She deserves to know the truth. "I beat her to death with my own hands."
"Did you love her?"
"I didn't know what love truly was back then."
The radar beeps as it indicates a plane in the vicinity. Katarina pushes on Doss's arm. "Incoming."
"Thanks."
Velex comes over the radio. "Gold One to Righteous Fire. See your radar?"
"Monitoring it now. Do you have a visual on it form over there?"
"Negative. It's travelling extremely fast, though. On your six."
Doss turns on another monitor with the camera footage from the back of his fighter. Once he gets a good look at it on his tail, he knows something's not right.
"That's not one of ours." Velex says.
"Well, it's not anyone from Strafe either." Doss says. "There's a symbol on the side. A golden apple with a spider."
"Oh my God. Get out of there. Doss, leave that area immediately. It's a Nymph slave ship. That's their mark."
"What? I thought we eradicated that race long ago." Doss says as the ship speeds by, leaving them behind.
"Apparently not. Looks like we missed a few. If you can take it out, do it. If you can't be sure you can destroy it without putting yourself at risk, retreat and we'll just report it back to Dressler."
"I'm not going to be able to catch it."
"It's just as well." Velex says. "Either way, I'm launching a tracker that will stick to their ship and show us where their base of operations is. Surely they weren't able to rebuild Olympus."
"Their home planet? All the reports claim that we nuked the hell out of that place."
"Who knows? It's so far away. God, I hate those aliens. Rumor has it that they had started abducing humans and changing them into Nymphs. What could they be planning? Amassing an army? Trying to rebuild their empire? I have a bad feeling that once we report their presence here, Dressler will crack down on imports and any immigrants to the IGR planets. Anyone found with a Nymph mark will undoubtedly be killed."
"That's a bit harsh, don't you think?" Doss asks.
"No. Harsh is the destruction that Nymphs are capable of. While it's unfortunate for those humans who are taken and forced to become Nymphs, there's simply no other way to do it. There is zero tolerance for those demons. That's what they. They come from the darkest depth of hell."
"From hell? Are you serious?"
"They are the children of Satan." Velex says.
"This kind of religious talk isn't like you, Velex."
"They're evil. That's the only way to put it. No Nymph deserves to live."
* * *
"Doss, look down there. Is that Strafe?" Katarina asks.
Doss looks to his right and immediately calls out on his radio. "Righteous Fire to Gold One."
Velex's voice comes over the speakers. "Go ahead."
"I have visual on Strafe, but I don't think we're needed here."
"What's wrong?"
"It's been decimated." Doss says as he flies a bit lower. "There are fires burning all over. I'm going in closer now, but I'm not about to try to
enter their atmosphere if it's been tampered with. Requesting permission to fire a test shot."
"Permission granted."
Doss fires two bursts of plasma that continue falling for minutes then vanish as they hit the planet. "Righteous Fire to Gold One. There's nothing worth saving here. Their atmosphere is completely gone. No survivors."
"So someone destroyed the atmosphere generator and killed off everyone?"
"No doubt about it. Looks like we're done here."
"Sounds like the rebels had some help from Nymphs." Velex says. "We'll leave that for another day. Get back to Himmel and we'll deliver our report to Dressler. Did you get the footage?"
"Sure did. He should be seeing it shortly. Where does this put the rest of the rebel forces?"
"Verloren."
"Can I assume that we will be sending a force out there as well?" Doss asks.
"I will speak with you personally about that matter once we return to Himmel."
20
The stars are bright tonight, glittering high up above the manmade atmosphere of Himmel. As she walks below them down to the water's edge where the waves lap against the white sand, Katarina watches them all. Could they hold answers to her questions or offer comfort in this darkest time of her life? The more she calls out to them in her mind and whatever distant civilizations may exist far away in other galaxies with different stars in their night skies, the more alone she feels.
When her bare feet touch the cold water, she stops and takes a deep breath of the salty air. She holds onto the diamond butterfly pendant that Byron had given her when she was a baby. She always wore it on her slave collar, but now that tiny charm has grown heavy and only brings pain. While she doesn't want to forget the love and joy she shared with Byron, she knows that time in her life is gone and will never come back. Every little thing she finds that reminds her of him instantly hurts, digging down to her soul with daggers that make her bleed. There has to be a way to move on.
Paradise Awakened Trilogy Page 36
