The Perfect 1

by CORY CYR

  I assumed Lincoln would be less irate if we’d kept it a working relationship. There would have been no picture, and without that, everything was pure speculation. It must have turned his stomach to realize he’d had sex with the woman he grew up fantasizing about, who was now hideous.

  I didn’t know how I went on from there. How to get past the hope I had, only to have it snatched away by media assholes, an evil, envious woman, and my own deception.

  *****

  I kept my word and showed up at Lucas’s office at the allotted time. I kept my head low as I entered. Embarrassment and dread filled me.

  “I wasn’t sure if you’d actually show, but I’m glad you did.” He gestured for me to sit.

  “I won’t be coming back, so maybe you can give me a referral?”

  He scooted his chair close. “And why is that?” he asked.

  I shrugged, attempting no eye contact. “I’m sure you know why. Your brother. He… he knows who I am, and he hates me.”

  Lucas reached out, grasping my hand. “Jensyn, he doesn’t hate you. Not at all. But my brother needs to talk to you. You can’t duck him forever. He seemed very happy about you before all this public scrutiny. He hates the media, always has. Lincoln is extremely confused right now, and I can’t help him because of HIPPA privacy laws. So let me help you.”

  A renegade tear fell, splashing on his hand. “It’s too late and complicated.”

  “I detest that word. It’s just another phrase for giving up. I knew this working relationship I’d set up developed into more when I saw the photo.”

  I blushed profusely.

  “Lincoln cares for you. I know him, and he’ll never let this lie. Sooner or later, you will have to face him.”

  I threw my head back in sardonic laughter. “I’m sure he’ll get over it. His editor, I’m not so sure.”

  “What? How is Kami involved?” he asked with curiosity.

  I shrugged. “None of this matters. We went too far. I should have said no, but I’m sure you’re well aware of your brother’s persuasive manner.”

  He eyed me carefully. “Umm… no, he never tried. Remember, older brother here.”

  I loosened my hand from his, palming my cheek. “He’s called many times and left one voicemail… which I deleted. I wouldn’t be able to stand hearing what he had to say.”

  “It’s evident you have feelings for him. From talking to him last night, I’m guessing he reciprocates.”

  I was stunned, sitting upright. “Well, maybe, but that was before he knew who I used to be, and I’m sure Kami gave him a full description.”

  I heard a curse under his breath.

  “I didn’t mean to be dishonest. I never thought anything like this would happen because I had no idea I would develop feelings for him.” I admitted.

  “Look, don’t let some publicity pull you two apart, and certainly don’t allow some editing hag to reroute your destiny. You have more than beauty to offer Lincoln, and I think he knows that. He asked me about your disfigurement. I told him it wasn’t my place to tell him. Just be honest. You two were together intimately, and he never saw your face. I don’t believe my brother would ever be that shallow. Besides, he slept with Kami, so there’s no accounting for his taste.”

  I chuckled, my body relaxing. “She is pretty,” I commented.

  “Maybe on the outside, but she is fugly on the inside.” He stopped. I could tell he was thinking about his words. “Normally, I would have no comment, but I have been made aware of the commentary she shared with my brother. And just so you know, he was extremely pissed with her. It wouldn’t at all surprise me if he fired her.”

  My body stiffened in shock. “Just another reason I should have kept it professional. I have screwed up his whole world.”

  Lucas leaned back in his chair, placing his hands behind his head. “I’ll never agree with that assessment. A better analogy would be you rocked my brother’s world. I’m sure you noticed he wasn’t very charming in the beginning. But I knew sending you there was the right choice. For both of you. Did I expect the combination to be noteworthy? No. But if you can work all this out, I think you’ll be fine. Don’t walk away because you’re afraid. But give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s never been mean. Not to anybody.”

  “What I didn’t tell you was I’d hoped he never regained his sight. You tell me; you’re the expert. What kind of human being wishes for that, especially one that cares for the other person?”

  “Look, your admission isn’t unexpected. I would probably feel the same way. You’ve been hurt and ridiculed. What you felt was a defense mechanism. And that may still happen, but you need to prepare yourself, Jensyn, in case his sight does come back. I can’t tell you what to do, but if it were me, I’d want everyone to come to terms with their feelings. Everything that plagues you will not bother him; I guarantee it. How you both feel right now isn’t going to go away. You can’t run, which I know is your M.O. This thing between you two has to be addressed or it will eat away at you. The ball is in your court now.”

  “I won’t know what to say. He knows about how I look. That makes it worse.”

  He took my hand again. “Well then, that’s half the battle. You don’t have to hide from him anymore. You both need to have a serious conversation. You’ve been happy. I want that for you. My brother is young, but if he’s found happiness with you, I want that for him, too. You’ll both revert to old ways if you don’t clear the air.”

  I nodded, standing. “You’re right, as usual. I wanted to blame you,” I uttered.

  He grinned. “Hey, I sent you there to type and read, not sleep with him. You two are on your own with that. I never facilitated sex.”

  Oh God, kill me now. “Please, I’m humiliated enough. Let’s not go into detail.”

  “I concur. No details needed or desired,” he replied, picking up his book. “Schedule for the same time next week?” he asked.

  “Okay, I guess that’s fine.”

  I left his office, feeling a little lighter. I wished now I hadn’t erased the message Lincoln had left me. I went directly home, still wanting to stay out of the limelight in case I was found out. I made another phone call to Tiffany, ate lunch, then took a nap. I hated sleeping so much. I’d finally succeeded in getting out of the habit when I’d started seeing Lincoln.

  After I woke, Anai prepared dinner, and I asked her to eat with me out by the pool. We rarely spent time together like this since she left in the evenings to be with her husband.

  “So what will happen with you and the author?” she asked, chewing a piece of salad.

  “I guess I’ll go see him tomorrow. He’s called almost thirty times.”

  She continued to eat as I picked at the food. “He never left a message?”

  “One, but I erased it before listening to it. I was afraid. After what I went through when I first had my accident…”

  Anai’s fork clanged against her plate. “Miss Jensyn. That’s the first time I have ever heard you refer to that time as an accident. It was always the incident.” She pushed her chair close to mine and hugged me. “You do know what happened all those years ago was just an accident? No one meant to hurt you. It was nothing more than a cruel twist of fate. God had other plans for you. He is constantly testing us.”

  I doubt I passed this exam. I nodded in response. “Yeah, I get that, but it’s what happened afterward that haunts me. I guess I just believed I had people in my life that honestly cared for me. Even my own parents offered no comfort because their meal ticket wasn’t going to provide any longer. It makes trust harder now. I never want to be that hurt again. I’m scared I wouldn’t survive it.”

  “I believe you’re stronger than you think. I’ve known you now for, what, almost eight years, and let me tell the truth. You did not make wanting to work for you easy. You made sure I knew immediately you’d fired many before me.” She flicked her fingers, then took a bite of bread. “I don’t scare easy, and I figured your bark was much worse
than your bite. And here we are, sharing a meal and telling secrets.” She laughed.

  I patted her hand. “You really have been a good friend. Actually, the closest thing I have to a mother.”

  We clinked our glasses together in understanding while continuing to eat and share gossip. Tomorrow I would have to make a decision in regards to seeing Lincoln. He did deserve a conversation. Actually, I was far more interested in what he had to say than in how I was going to explain my lack of trust.

  We ended our evening with Anai cleaning up and me saying good night. It was still relatively early, but I was exhausted and I knew sleep wouldn’t come easily, not when I had worry haunting me.

  Chapter 14

  I woke up tired. I managed two cups of coffee but was too nervous to eat. I took my phone from the nightstand drawer and checked the log. The count now stood at forty-four. He was persistent. As I dressed, I thought about what Lucas said. The only reason I was exposing myself to possible ridicule was he’d vouched for his brother. Besides, I couldn’t imagine Lincoln being as cruel as Kami. That would break me. My only blessing would be he couldn’t see me cry.

  I wore a Hawaiian-print dress with matching flip-flops. Because the dress was halter style, I went braless, slipping only white panties underneath. I surveyed my hat collection and chose a wide brimmed baby-blue one. I touched up my face with concealer and mascara. This was as good as it got.

  The drive seemed longer. Halfway there, I had to talk myself out of making a U-turn. This had to be done. Any other time, I would ignore all of this, but Lincoln deserved a heart-to-heart. And it wasn’t only about him. I needed this, too.

  I pulled into the drive and sat a while. My hands were shaking as I checked my face in the mirror. Why are you doing that? He couldn’t see me. What difference did it make? I could have covered myself with a burlap bag and he’d never know.

  I took small steps to the front door, stalling every few seconds in hopes of changing my mind. I prayed silently that Kami wouldn’t be there. Her words had resurrected all the things the media had said years ago. I wasn’t ready to face those challenges again, yet here I was, ready to defend myself when I had no defense. With anyone else, I might have been able to skate past this, but I’d had no reason to hide from Lincoln.

  I dangled the keys in my hand, standing at the front door.

  Before I could knock, it flew open.

  “Thank God,” Lincoln announced, pulling me in, not letting go.

  The house was dark and dank, almost reminding me of our first meeting. “How did you know it was me?” I asked, cautiously perusing him. He hadn’t shaved. His appearance was disheveled.

  “I’ll always know it’s you. If you wanted to be covert, you should have chosen another fragrance. Now come here. I don’t want to talk.” He pulled me closer. His eyes searched my face as though he had sight. He broke the embrace, his hands cupping my cheeks, fingers attentively tracing every scar. I observed his expression, witnessing anguish combined with apology. His thumb outlined my mouth as he responded to the deep imperfections. I shuddered from his touch, viewing it as a sudden intrusion. Not another living soul, except for physicians, had come in contact with that part of me. My body jerked in response as I bent my head.

  “Please don’t turn away from me,” he said, tipping up my chin. “I told you before you’re beautiful, and I still mean it. Did you honestly believe any of this”—his finger lingered on a deeply indented scar—“would make a difference? You really don’t know me, do you? If you did, you’d know what I feel for you is real. It has to be because it comes from the depths of my heart, without sight. It developed because of the beauty you have beneath your skin, not because of your appearance.”

  He moved closer as he crushed his lips to mine. Even prior to the accident, I now knew, I had never truly been kissed. My body stiffened as he took my mouth, his tongue hungrily slipping between my teeth. I was pressed tightly against him as I felt his mounting erection. He stroked the inside of my mouth, exploring from side to side. I swallowed a sigh as the kiss became aggressive, needier.

  He stopped suddenly, pulling away, gasping with urgent breaths. His hand grabbed mine, and he placed it roughly on his stiff length.

  “I’m having a difficult time deciding whether I need to kiss or fuck you. I’m so hard right now I feel like I’m dying. Are you wet? Did you miss me?” he asked, forcing my hand to squeeze him. “Let me fuck you here and now. Let me show you it doesn’t matter what you were before, just what you are to me right now.”

  He inched up my dress as his fingers drifted beneath. My panties were twisted in desire as he pulled their crotch to one side. He let a digit dip inside as he began to pant. “Fuck, I want this. I want you.”

  I watched as his drenched finger moistened his lips with my arousal. Lincoln’s tongue flicked outward to taste. I was mesmerized seeing his eyes roll back as he relished my flavor.

  I heard the Velcro of shorts rip apart as I pulled him closer by the waistband. His heavy cock released angrily, tipping upward. His balls were distended and the veins were smooth from being so taut. He reached back under my dress and tore away my underwear, startling me. Lincoln seemed frantic to have me.

  “Lie on the sofa and hike your dress up,” he requested.

  I shuddered because he’d never sounded forceful or demanding. His tone made my pussy pulsate with willingness to comply. Leaving his side, I moved over to the sofa and did what he asked. Lying there, I watched with fervor as he pulled his shirt over his head and kicked off his shorts. My breathing restricted as my nipples tightened and my pussy became drenched with want. My entire body began to hum as I watched him slowly manipulating his steps toward me.

  He grasped my ankle, lifting it to a kiss. His other hand scaled the interior of my leg to my thigh. I squirmed from his touch as his fingers spread my swollen cleft.

  “I need to be inside you. I promise this is the last time we fuck.” I frowned upon that announcement. “I don’t want to fuck you anymore, Jensyn. You deserve better than that. You’re entitled to love, and I do love you.”

  My entire body stiffened with his declaration. There had never been any man who uttered those three words to me, not even my husband. I supposed he assumed a marriage of convenience never warranted it, and the truth was neither of us felt that way about each other. But now Lincoln Bass had confessed he loved me. Were those words genuine, or was it merely an act of contrition?

  I had kept my feelings carefully guarded, not even revealing them to myself. It would hurt too much if they were one-sided. I would have never expected him to reciprocate, not that I would have ever shared my feelings. Did he expect me to say it back? Could I, even if I wasn’t sure?

  He pulled me up and onto his quivering cock. He rocked into me as I placed my arms around his neck. Our eyes connected as my inner walls gripped his member. He found my bottom lip and sucked, opening my mouth to find my tongue. Heat pulsed within my entire body as he continued to thrust. He pistoned twice more into me as I spiraled into orgasm. His hand massaged my back as I began to buck in response to his sudden jerks.

  “Jesus. This… God…” He cried out, bending his head back as he pushed into me as deeply as possible and held still. My pussy pulsed around his cock as the hot seed filled me.

  My leg began to cramp from the awkward position. “I need to stretch my leg,” I murmured.

  In acknowledgement of my request, he moved, causing his dick to fall from me. I mourned the loss of its comfort.

  His hands blindly reached for me as I allowed him access to my face. He seductively claimed my mouth and swept his tongue inside. The kiss was passionate and hot. We toyed with each other, exploring the newly found contact. We parted, his fingers lacing with mine.

  “I’ll never get tired of kissing you. You kept me at bay for nothing. Touching your face and caressing your mouth is something I should have been doing all along. Don’t ever doubt me again.

  “We need to talk about all of this, bu
t I need to shower. I’m guessing you can tell I kind of let myself go the last few days. I need you to ground me, Jensyn.”

  “Yes, maybe you should shower.” I sniffed the air, pinching my nose. “Um, I see you found the cologne I bought you. You do know it’s for use after a shower, not instead of?” I questioned. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I have your stink on me now. You could have at least worn deodorant.” I teased.

  He tugged on my dress, trying to access how to remove it. I untied the halter. “Ooh, I love free-range titties.” I rolled my eyes as he palmed each breast. “Look, we need to get in the shower or, well…” His eyes darted down to his growing cock. “No rest for the wicked. If we stay put, I’ll take you again. I’m not saying the shower will curtail my thoughts, but I suppose that depends on the temperature.”

  I pushed him back slightly, sitting up. “Put a lot of thought into this, have you? I guess you’re just horny, huh?”

  He stopped, his outstretched hand cupping my chin. “I’ve missed you. Every single part of you. Your voice, your laugh, your scent. I told you before, one phone call, dozens of strippers, any pussy I want. But I want you, Jensyn, every single inch, from head to toe, from scar to perfection. This isn’t about sex. This is about us—if you’ll have me, if you want an us.”

  I didn’t know what to say as my eyes relished the sight of him. “I… I need to digest this. No one has ever wanted me, not really—even before the accident.”

  “But you did marry whatshisname.”

  I shrugged with indifference. “That was just a publicity prop for our management teams. Two pretty people forced to endure each other. Our loathing for each other was mutual. In private, Xavier was nothing but a manwhore with waxed eyebrows. He bailed the minute I was no longer perfect. You were too young to understand everything I’m sure,” I stated sadly.