by CORY CYR
I made three sandwiches and broke the seal on the container of potato salad I’d gotten when I purchased groceries. “Food’s ready,” I announced, setting the plate in his lap.
“Smells good. I am famished,” he remarked, taking a huge bite.
As we ate, our conversation turned. “I need to get my mind back into the book. We need to wrap up these revisions. I’ve had too many distractions, the main one being my fucking disability.”
“Well, I turned out to be more of a hindrance than a help. I had no idea the paparazzi would be so persistent, and I really should have. They hounded me for over a year after my accident. They made my life a living hell. I couldn’t leave the house. Not that I wanted to. I stayed just long enough to endure the many surgeries that barely helped. That was the main reason I moved here, so I could live in seclusion and fade to black.”
He laughed around a mouthful of salad. “Well, you came to the right place. My life is currently nothing but black. You’ll never have to hide again. I won’t let you. Let them print whatever they want. You’re rich, right? I’m only asking because who knows if I’ll have a job after it comes out I’m as blind as a bat? I wonder who came up with that. You know they aren’t actually blind. Strange factoid.”
I sat closer to him, leaning my head against his chest. “Yeah, I am wealthy. Rich as hell. You do know we don’t have to stay in Hawaii. We can go somewhere else. I mean, if you wanted to. Maybe not right now, but down the line.”
He put his sandwich down and wiped his mouth with the napkin. “That’s a possibility, but there would have to be a compromise. I would only relocate if you married me.”
I sprang up from his chest. He’s loony; the man has completely gone mad. “You’re not serious. That’s ludicrous. Talk about being with someone sight unseen.”
“Oh, ha-ha, you made a blind joke. I wasn’t kidding. I love you, check. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, check. If I want those two things, I’d want to marry you. Okay, I know you’re all concerned about the age gap. Jesus, Jensyn, you’re what, a few years older? Big deal.” He joked.
“Okay, comedian author boy, you already know it’s thirteen years, and you know that isn’t the reason.”
He turned toward the sound of my voice with amusement. “Holy crap. You’re old. Damn, that’s on the cusp of forty. You are so right. How would it look, a blind man next to a grandma?”
“Shut up.” I smacked him on the leg.
“Hey, that was entirely too close to my nut sack,” he said, pushing my hand away playfully. “You know I don’t care about the age difference, and neither will anyone else. I know why you drag those gorgeous feet. Because you’re afraid I’ll wake up one day, regain my sight, freak, and bail. Never going to happen, baby.”
I wished I could feel his sense of certainty. There was no way he could know for sure, and I would always live with that underlying fear. I’d already known betrayal, many times over. I knew it was unfair to hold him accountable for what others did, but it was never far from my mind. I was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact he loved me. How did that happen? I’d never made room in my dismal life for a bright spot, one of happiness. But here he was. A perfect 10. Kind, rich, and talented. And he wanted me. It didn’t make sense. I wouldn’t allow my negativity to ruin this. But you will.
“How about we do some work? I have no idea if the book will be released on time, and I hate disappointing my readers. I’ll stay with Kami and her publishing house until this is published, but afterward, I’m gone, regardless if I’ve found someone else. I want all of this behind us. I want you exempt from all this bullshit.”
“Let’s go work. I’m tired of going back and forth about everything. It’s all out in the open now anyway. I think it’ll be good to concentrate on Maxwell and Suzanne instead of Lincoln and Jensyn.”
A wide smile etched across his face. “I love the sound of the latter.”
Chapter 15
I stayed the entire week. I did call Anai and told her a diluted version of what had happened. I could hear the sense of relief and optimism in her voice.
We finished the book. Of course, Lincoln’s idea of celebration was eating out, and not the delivery kind. We lay in bed, drinking wine and eating fruit. He wanted to go down to the beach, but I was reluctant. I couldn’t chance us being seen together again.
“I don’t give a shit. Let them take eight-by-ten fucking glossies. I don’t care. We’re not going to become prisoners because of the goddamn media vultures. I’m tired of being cooped up. Now that we’re out, so to speak, let’s be out.”
“They’ll know you’re blind. Somehow they’ll figure out who I used to be,” I announced harshly.
“Bullshit. I’ve been hiding it for months. I’m sure wearing shades will suffice. We aren’t talking about Mensa scholars; most of these guys are as dumb as a box of rocks. If I’m willing to chance it, you have to. Let’s face it, baby. I can’t really go without you.”
His points were valid since he couldn’t see. Shit. “Okay, I’m willing to compromise,” I muttered hastily.
“All right, I’m listening. But I mean it, Jensyn. I have to get out of the house before I go crazy.”
“How about going to my place? Anai will pee her pants when she meets you. I believe she’s your biggest fan. We can have dinner by the pool.”
His expression was one of contemplation as he stroked his chin. “You told her? I mean about me being blind.”
“She’s been with me for years. I was upset and in a dubious situation. This happened after my altercation with your editor. She can be trusted, but I have to warn you there will be swooning.”
He laughed, turning toward me on the bed, his hands immediately on my face. “As long as some of that swooning is from you. Does my visit include that tub you talked about? You did say it would fit two, if I remember correctly. You’re giving me hope, woman, taking me to your home. Now, if you let me fuck you in that bathtub—”
“Wait a minute. I thought we wouldn’t be fucking any longer, just making love. Your words.”
He sprang out of bed. “That depends. After you show me the tub, we’ll negotiate terms. But really…” He lowered his head and whispered, “If that marbled sex bath is how you described, it will be fucking, definitely.”
“Whatever you say. Now let’s pack you a bag. You might want to shower, too. My housekeeper has high expectations of Lincoln Bass. You’ll need to live up to that.”
He winked, which always threw me off. Because his eyes appeared normal, some of the movements startled me. I knew he had no sight, but there had been many times I was positive he could see. He had become an expert in hiding his blindness.
I called Anai and told her we were both going stir crazy and we planned a few days at the house. There was such a long pause that I thought she might have fainted. I could hear her screams of disbelief. After we hung up, I imagined between choosing menus and changing my linens, she had gathered every book she had, ready to be signed even though she knew he couldn’t see. I made sure she told the rest of the staff they weren’t needed for the next few days, but would be paid anyway. I needed to make certain Lincoln’s privacy was protected.
I packed a few things for him in a travel bag. He was brushing his teeth as he opened the door to let the steam clear. Lord have mercy, he was gorgeous. Standing tall and toned like a Greek statue. Even his cock was a work of art, hanging massively between his legs. It was times like this I was happy he couldn’t follow my stare.
I licked my lips as I moved closer, placing my hand on his lower back. I smiled because just my simple touch made his length swell. “No,” I scolded his dick. “Just taking inventory,” I remarked, tracing the curve of his ass.
He shrugged me off as he spit in the sink. “No time for that. Hold that thought until we’re in your bathtub. You have a private beach, too. Since you had sex there, I assume it’s fairly discreet.”
I snapped my hand back abruptly, returning to
the bedroom. Lincoln followed my path. With an outstretched arm, he caught my shoulder. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way. Don’t be upset with me.”
“I just don’t enjoy dwelling on my past mistakes,” I replied, sitting on the bed. “I packed you a bag.”
“Come here.” He followed my shoulder, kissing up to my face. “I love you, baby. We all make errors in judgment, and most of them are preceded by copious amounts of booze or drugs. Been there many times. I’d like to say my stint with Kami was alcohol induced, but only the first time. The others were all me and my lousy lack of intelligence. I think I was just waiting until I met you. That’s how I knew my taste improved.”
“Oh, you do know how to sweet talk, don’t you? It must be how Maxwell gets out of the doghouse so many times. Poor Suzanne.”
He kissed me on the forehead, cheek, then lips. “Hey, she knew what she was getting into,” he uttered into my open mouth. As the kiss went deeper, he pushed his cock insistently against my thigh.
I pushed him away with a giggle. “Put on some shorts and saddle that horse. We have plenty of time for that later.”
He pouted, turning away, grabbing himself. I put a pair of khakis and a shirt into his hands before he closed the bathroom door. Five minutes later, he was dressed, sunglasses in hand. He found his way to the living room and sat on the sofa, slipping on a pair of sneakers. I held his bag as we walked out to my car. My eyes darted every direction in an attempt to see if we were being watched.
“Nice car. What is it?” he asked, sniffing, rubbing the leather seat.
“A Beamer,” I replied, sliding the seat belt across him. It must be odd not knowing his surroundings. At least in his own home, he had a sense of where everything was.
“Do you live close?” he asked as I started the car, pulling out of the drive.
“Twenty minutes away if traffic is good. I live on Tahia.”
“Ooh… fancy. That’s where the richy-rich live.” He jested.
I snorted. “Yeah, if that’s true, why didn’t you move there?”
“Because, honey, I wanted to live off the grid. Very few people want to own a private strip of beach where they can’t enjoy swimming or other water sports. I’m sure you read all about Keemo Island when you Googled me. It never deterred me. I love a challenge.”
“Sometimes I swear you’re crazy. When we first met, I wasn’t sure, but now, well, let’s just say…”
“But you love me anyway.”
There was a pang of anguish deep in my gut. I hadn’t responded when he said it. I didn’t want to. If I truly said those three words to him, then it became real. And right then, I wanted to relish in the possibility. I hated I was so full of self-doubt, but it was a hard habit to break after all these years and would take longer than this short time to rebuild myself.
“We’re here,” I announced, turning into my circular drive. Enormous metal gates grinded as they closed behind us.
“Sharpshooters on the roof? That sounded like a fortress gate. I guess we won’t have to worry about anyone getting in here—at least unannounced.”
“One of the many reasons I bought it. Seclusion and privacy. Five acres, not including the beach.” I bent, whispering in his ear, “I have an Olympic-size black pool you’ll love. I had tennis courts, but I hated the game, so they were converted into gardens and a greenhouse.”
“I guess modeling paid well. You didn’t get out of bed for less than ten grand, right?”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Let’s say I was highly compensated, but I hoarded it. I wanted something more, so I stashed it for a rainy day. I had no idea it would be a category-five hurricane.”
I grabbed his bag from the backseat as Anai stepped out on the landing.
“So happy you came home, Miss Jensyn, and this must be Mr. Bass. I have read all of your books.”
I stifled a laugh because she was acting like a young girl meeting her favorite pop star. I helped him out of the car so he could get his bearings, handing his bag to her.
“Glad to finally meet you, Anai. Please call me Lincoln,” he said, extending his hand.
Anai blushed profusely as she took it. “Oh, it is such an honor, truly. I can hardly wait until the next book. Maxwell and Suzanne, they are going to get married, maybe?”
“Ah. I can’t give away all my secrets. It wouldn’t be entertaining if I told you the plot before you read it. But I’ll make sure you get a copy before it goes on the shelves. Is that okay?”
“Yes, oh gosh, yes. So nice you are, and handsome.”
“See, all my fans love me,” he remarked, leaning into me.
“Come on, New York best seller. Let’s see if you can fit your ego through the front door,” I countered, guiding him into the house. I asked Anai to put his bag upstairs in my room. She shot me an envious smile as she walked upstairs.
“I’d ask you to show me around, but I suppose that would be pointless. So give me stats on the rooms. I already know about the landscape and the tub.”
I walked with him outside to the pool, and we sat in a shaded area with tables and chairs.
“Eight bedrooms, three baths, seventy-five hundred square feet. Library, exercise room, lots of space. To be honest, I never paid attention. I took the large master suite with that marble tub. It has a cute balcony where I can watch the sunset and see the ocean. It’s secure. I guess it’s home, at least for me.”
He reached, grappling to find me, then pulling my shirt. I ended up sitting on his lap. “I can’t see it, but I can visualize it. Sounds like a sweet setup. Thank you for allowing me into your sanctuary.”
I placed a soft peck on his lips as Anai rolled out lunch. She looked amused at our intimacy. “I’ve brought lunch. Cold roast beef sandwiches with coleslaw. I thought you might enjoy some fruit, so I made an açai bowl. For beverages, I wasn’t sure, so I brought tropical iced tea.”
“Sounds amazing,” I said, moving back to my chair. I watched as Anai set the plates down and arranged the silverware and napkins. “I’ll leave the fruit bowl on the cart. I thought maybe mango sherbet for desert since it’s so hot. Just let me know. Enjoy your afternoon.” She smiled, her eyes meeting mine in approval.
I placed Lincoln’s hand on the edge of his plate, giving him direction of where the food was. He took a big bite of the sandwich. “This is good, hot damn,” he announced, continuing with another bite as I nibbled on the edges of mine. “How long has she worked for you? You two seem close. I assume with a house this big, you require more personnel than just her.”
“She’s been with me for a long time. I actually went through quite a few housekeepers before her. Anai doesn’t take shit. We’ve developed a mutual understanding. She says what she wants and doesn’t back down. The others got scared off, but not her. I have a groundskeeper and several cleaning people, but I made them take a mini paid vacation. I was concerned you’d possibly be recognized, so I took precautions.”
“What about overnight staff? Does she stay?”
“Occasionally. Her husband is an airline pilot, so when he’s home, so is she.”
“You stay here alone?” he asked, wiping his mouth.
“I’m a big girl. Plus, this place is gated with top-of-the-line security and cameras. I’m not worried. I kind of think I look scarier than they would expect.”
He set his napkin down, his jaw clenched. “Jesus, Jensyn. Why would you think that, let alone say it? It breaks my heart knowing you think so little of yourself. Do you honestly think I would love someone like you if everything you felt was true? Having you in my life means more to me than anything. I could never put a value on how much you’re worth. I need you to believe that, regardless of what you see in the mirror. Your appearance is only a fraction of who you are.”
“I know why you’re such a huge writer. You always know just the right words to say. But I’ve been like this for too long to overcome my anxieties overnight. All I can say is I’ll try. I do want to be the person you love.”
<
br /> His hand groped for mine. “I already love that person. Now I need you to love her.”
I leaned into him as his fingers intertwined with mine. “You know you’re one of a kind. I never would have guessed it could be like this after I first met you.”
He chuckled, dropping my hand as he felt for his beverage. I scooted it to his hand. “Honestly, I can be a prick, as you can attest to.” He stopped, taking a sip. “Okay, total transparency; I’ve been known to be an occasional asshole, long before I went blind. That only gave me more of an excuse, but in truth, I could be a shit, especially while writing.”
I grinned, thinking I’d lived with the biggest prick of them all, and I was doubtful Lincoln could even compete in that contest. “I’m used to douchebags after marrying one. Your behavior doesn’t even rank compared to his. Xavier was so arrogant he couldn’t possibly find another person to love him more than he loved himself.”
“I know your marriage was for show, but did you come to love him even a little?”
My eyes wandered over the landscape, taking in the view of the high sun. “No, I’ve never loved anyone before. I’m a novice at those feelings, except with you. I do love you down to my very core.” I chewed on my lip when I declared my feelings.
“Tell me again. I want to hear you say the words because I can’t see your expression.”
My chair scratched the concrete as I turned to face him. My hand brushed his cheek. “I love you.”
I stared into beautiful, compelling eyes that couldn’t see my absolution. It felt freeing to say those words even though I couldn’t ever truly commit, and I knew in the end, those emotions might cause me pain I’d never recover from. I felt sadness, but I wasn’t going to let it ruin this time with him.
We continued talking and eating, then decide to take a dip.
“I have a hot tub, too. I’m going to take our dishes in, then change. Be right back.”
He nodded, pulling off his shirt. I would never grow tired of seeing him sans clothes.
