Cramped Quarters: An Enemies To Lovers Accidental Roommates Romance

by Jamie Knight

  “Yes, almost always, except among the theological. Be they monotheists or Satanists.”

  “Theological Satanists?”

  “Yeah. Basically, they’re inverted Christians, who have read and believed the Bible and decided ‘I’m goin’ with the other guy.’ They are a minority even among Satanists. They give the rest of us a bad rep.”

  “What are you?” Rachel asked, curiously.

  “Modern LaVeyan. Basically, we take the basic principles of the original Church of Satan, including the Seven Tenets, while also modernizing them, particularly in terms of women. LaVey was surprisingly humanist, particularly considering that he wrote the tenants in the late sixties, but he still had some old fashioned ideas, which was understandable, considering that he was born in the thirties. In many ways, he was a contemporary of Kenneth Anger.”

  She took a moment, seeming to process the new information which, I would have been the first to admit, came a bit fast and furious. I lost both a filter and all sense of time when I started talking about things I cared about.

  I also tended to start shouting as well when having a conversation I was deeply passionate about. But seeing as how Rachel wasn’t reeling back in abject terror, I didn’t think that had happened. I was doing my best not to scare her.

  “What are the Seven Tenets?”

  “The core principles of the LaVeyan school. Similar to your Ten Commandments, only shorter.”

  “Do you know what they are? I mean all of them?”

  “Sure. Um, let’s see. One should strive to act with compassion and empathy to all creatures, within reason. The struggle for justice is a necessary and ongoing pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. The body is inviolable, subject to one’s will alone. The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend.

  “Beliefs should conform to one’s best scientific understanding of the world; one should take care to never to distort scientific facts to fit one’s beliefs. People are fallible; if one makes a mistake, one should do one’s best to rectify it. Every tenet is a guiding principle, designed to inspire nobility in action and thought.”

  She looked like a deer caught in headlights, clearly never having heard any such thing before in her short life.

  “That’s not exactly it, but close enough, I-”

  Rachel leaped at me in what I could only call an attack-hug. She wrapped herself around me, her hand holding on for dear life, like she might die if she ever let go.

  Just as I was trying to figure out if it was a really aggressive come-on, her soft sobs wet my shoulder, making matters very clear. She needed comforting.

  Getting over my own initial shock, overcome with surprising empathy, I held her, gently stroking her back as she let it out.

  I knew in that moment that the scarring had definitely been forced, as well as who had put the marks on her.

  I’d never seen quite a strong reaction to hearing the tenets, but I could also understand it, considering what she must have been hearing since she was little.

  Religious instruction was one thing and not something I really had an issue with. Brainwashing was quite another.

  Even with her lovely, gentle warmth pressed up against me, my thoughts remained pure. Or at least as pure as they could.

  Sexy thoughts were honestly nowhere near my mind.

  The context was far too harrowing for any such considerations. I just waited it out, rocking her gently as possibly years of pain and repression came up all at once.

  Chapter Thirteen - Rachel

  It really wasn’t what I’d planned. Things had gone well. Better than expected, actually, if I were to be super honest. I really didn’t think it would be possible for us to cross our obvious divide.

  Or, at least, so I’d assumed.

  Looking at it in light of the new information, what I thought would be a Grand Canyon of irreconcilable difference tuned out to be more of a puddle.

  I tried my best to process it all. Almost every word from Augustus, either typed or spoken, since we started messaging that fateful morn, had been another shock to my system.

  Everything I’d thought I’d known had being smashed like glass under a hammer. I was reexamining all my former thoughts and prejudices.

  The Seven Tenets, as Augustus had put them, sounding like the most beautiful set of ideals I’d ever heard. Rational, practical and empathetic at the same time. Really basic, fact-based things that it honestly felt that all people could embrace. Even if they already had a religious belief.

  Nothing I’d heard really contradicted the monotheism I knew. Even if it did have a few welcome additions like personal autonomy. If anything, the Jesus I knew would agree with most of it.

  I wasn’t about to ‘switch teams,’ my faith far too precious to me, despite some uglier side effects. Though I would never forget what Augustus had told me, showing a better, more compassionate way to think and live.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, finally pulling away.

  “No, I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For whatever I did, to upset you.”

  “Oh, oh, no. You didn’t upset me. Quite the opposite, you freed me!”

  “From what?”

  “Prejudice. I never had any idea about any of it. We were taught that anyone not like us was a heathen and therefore our enemy. Including Jews and Mormons. Mom tried to point out that Jesus was a Jew. Dad called her a filthy liar and broke her jaw.”

  “Your dad sounds like a real charmer,” Augustus said, dripping with sarcasm.

  “You don’t know the half of it.”

  “He gave you that?”

  I followed his arm to the cross. Unconsciously, I covered it with my hand, embarrassed by how it looked.

  “Yes, but I deserved it.”

  “No. I don’t care what you did. No one deserves to be mutilated like that. Especially not a kid.”

  “How did you know I was a kid?”

  “I started with your current age and subtracted the level of healing. My baby sister is fifteen.”

  “Do you have anything?” I asked.

  “Not like that. All of mine were voluntary. Like I said, my body is mine, along with all my senses, for both pleasure and pain.”

  “That’s what upsets you, isn’t it? Not the fact of the brand but because I was so young and didn’t and couldn’t consent to it. I-I was forced.”

  “Damn right you were, and if I ever meet your dad, I am going to give him a piece of my mind. I have a lot to spare.”

  The giggle was wildly inappropriate but there was still nothing I could do about it. It wasn’t the threat against my dad that tickled me so much as his manner of delivery of the threat.

  I didn’t think for a second that Augustus would actually hurt him. Aside from his stated principles, he just didn’t seem like the type. I’d seen violence in a man’s eyes and Augustus just didn’t have the look. But it was sweet that he was so concerned and wanted to protect me.

  “I could use a drink, how about you?” he asked me.

  “I don’t know. I don’t really drink. Except communion wine.”

  “Obviously,” Augustus mused, searching fruitlessly through the kitchen.

  “I think there’s some cider in the fridge,” I told him.

  “Bingo,” Augustus said, coming up with two bottles of soft apple cider.

  Popping them with the bottle-opener, he returned victorious, handing me one. We were a lot closer, both personally and physically, as I’d scooted over to the middle cushion.

  I’d already wrapped myself around him like a baby koala and really didn’t see what it hurt. I figured if Jesus had been friends with tax collectors and prostitutes, I could be friends with a Satanist.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “What happened to your eye?”

  I thought he might leave. At least with the slow way he put his bottle on the coffee table and wouldn’t look at me.
r />   “How much detail do you want?”

  “All of it.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes.”

  I didn’t even have to think about it.

  It was clear he had something to get off his chest, and I was happy to help him carry that load. He’d already helped me so much.

  “It was shrapnel.”

  “Someone shot you?”

  “No, not directly, anyway.”

  Augustus took a deep breath and let it out, rubbing the palms of his hands nervously on his pant legs.

  “It’s going to be a bit of a long story.”

  “We’ve got time.”

  “True.”

  Recovering the cider, he took a big, long swig, emptying nearly half the bottle before beginning. I didn’t have the heart to remind him that it was non-alcoholic.

  “I was the middle of five kids. Two older, two younger, a boy and a girl on each end. My parents were the chapter founders where we were and were really busy. They tried their best for us, even if they weren’t there a lot. I never doubted that they loved us.”

  He took another drink. I guessed he was trying to calm his nerves before he continued.

  “When I was fifteen, we had a new arrival to the Temple. A life-long LaVeyan who had moved across the country just to join our chapter and study to become a priestess. She’d heard good things and was looking to make a difference. Deadly serious and with the force of a hurricane, she really shook things up.”

  “What was her name?”

  “Jax. Short for Jackson. She was named after her uncle who had been killed by a Bible-thumping sheriff who took a disliking to him. She took a liking to me and became a sort of mentor. She taught me everything I would need to know to get by in the world. Especially how to deal with the hate I was going to get by being different. Something she’d been dealing with for years.”

  “How old was she?”

  “At that time, a ripe old twenty-four. Keep in mind, I was only fifteen, so she seemed a lot older. In some ways she was, already having lived more lifetimes in less than a quarter century than most people do in their entire lifespans. I heard about a lot of it, usually when she was trying to talk me down from doing something stupid, using her experience to set me on a better path.”

  “Did you love her?”

  “I mean, in my own way, at the time. The way only teenagers boys can love.”

  He took another drink.

  His hands were beginning to shake, his lower lip following close behind. But he kept talking.

  “She was amazing and terrifying, depending on if she liked you or not. Outside my family, she was my whole world for a time. Not everyone felt the same. As the temple started to grow under her influence and she became more of an experienced priestess, more people started to take notice. Both positive and negative.

  “This was about when the trouble with your dad started. It went on for about two years. From when I was seventeen to when I was nineteen. There were counter protests and that sort of thing. Nothing we couldn’t handle. I got pissed when my older sister got hit by a rock thrown by one of your dad’s flock. I felt honor bound to try and do something, but Jax talked me down. She probably saved my life.”

  He was quiet for a long time. His head hung, looking at the bottle clenched in his hands between his knees like it contained the secrets of the universe.

  His breathing became ragged, as if he was trying not to cry.

  “The death threats started coming. Mostly bullshit. Ghost stories, as Tom MacDonald would say. It even became funny after a while. We should have paid more attention.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, taking his hand.

  He didn’t pull away.

  “We were at one of our demonstrations. Jax was giving a speech, powerful and mesmerizing as ever. Just as she started saying how the words used to describe us are widely misunderstood and greater understanding was needed if monotheists and others were ever going to co-exist, like the bumper-stickers say. She had made it as far as ‘bumper’ when the first shots rang out.

  “We’d been warned. Some pastor had written in, saying he had bought a new box of hollow points just for her. Dammit if he wasn’t telling the truth. The church letterhead really should have been a clue.’’

  The sound made me jump. His fist nearly broke the coffee table in half at the center. Augustus rubbed his eyes, ending tears before they were able to start.

  “I was standing behind her. We all saw her fall, but I was the only one who tried to catch her. She tried to say something, but the shots had gone right through her lungs. The bastard kept going. Most of the rounds exploded into the brick wall behind us. In all the excitement, I got hit while I was holding her in my arms, watching the life flicker from her eyes.”

  I wanted to hug him, though I didn’t know if I should. I kept holding his hand, squeezing it tighter, letting him know he wasn’t alone.

  “It’s what I see every time I go to sleep or look in the mirror. The speech, the shots, what happened afterwards. I don’t look in the mirror much anymore, actually. Up until recently, I was lucky to get three hours of sleep.”

  So that explained a lot.

  “What happened?”

  “You.”

  “Really?”

  “I don’t pretend to know what it is or what will happen. All I know is that there is something very special about you.”

  “I feel the same way about you,” I confessed.

  I hugged him tight and he returned my embrace, holding me gently in his strong arms, as if we were the only two people who existed in this broken and chaotic world.

  We really were quite a pair, both of us damaged by the past but looking forward to the future.

  Could we help each other heal? I wondered.

  And then I realized that we were already were.

  Chapter Fourteen - Augustus

  The owls started up again, not able to tell time, their hoots accompanied the breaking of the day.

  There were always rebels in every group. Rachel hadn’t heard them yet. She had fallen off to sleep long before me.

  I looked down at her, cuddled like a kitten in my lap. She shifted a bit as I stroked her hair.

  It was interesting, how habits could form. One day you only want to eat junk food, but after only about a week off of it, you didn’t even like it anymore. The physical dependency was gone, and you taste it for what it really is.

  So it could be with people. Once the image you held of them had been shattered, you could see them for what they really are.

  I certainly didn’t know what to call our coupling. We were as close as any romantic partners, except we hadn’t had sex. I hadn’t even seen her naked, though right now, I was getting close.

  The sexy number she wore the first day of classes, more due to the weather than anything else, flashed through my mind. Rachel often came out wrapped in her robe, and it was apparent she was bare underneath. Or when she dressed it was sparse, in shorts and a tank top.

  I joked that now that her classes were online, she could do them naked. She shocked me by confessing she already did.

  “What time is it?” she asked now, eyes still closed.

  “Breakfast time? Did I get it right?”

  “Well done.”

  Disentangling ourselves, plans were set in motion for the biggest breakfast spread in the history of the year. We were both on fruit at that point. Rachel was skeptical at first until I made her one of my blender drinks.

  It was all it took to convert her. We still got protein through alternative sources, things like plant-based burgers.

  “Who’s on cutting?”

  “It’s my turn, I think,” Rachel volunteered.

  I held out the designated fruit knife as though it were a regal sword, bowing deep before my queen.

  Her technique was still a bit rough, but her enthusiasm was undeniable, going through many pieces of fruit of all types, aside from pineapple, which I was allergic to, and mangoes,
to which Rachel was. It was a Norman Rockwell portrait of perfect domestic bliss. Pride before the fall.

  It was my fault, really. I never told her about avocados. How their ‘stones’ very much lived up to the term and could glance off blades better than plate armor. I could have sworn I actually saw the knife bend slightly before it sprang back.

  “Fuck!” Rachel screamed, as the gleaming steel achieved its grim purpose.

  It was like a reflex. I did it so fast even I didn’t even know I was doing it. The offending knife clattered into the sink in the same instant I took her wrist in my hand.

  Her blood was in my mouth, warm and coppery as I sucked, trying to stem the flow. What started as surprise soon turned to calm, her eyes actually half closing with what looked very much like relief, as well as pleasure.

  Without even looking, I pulled a paper towel from the roll and lightly wrapped her hand, waiting for a moment to see if the scarlet soaked its way through.

  The cut wasn’t deep, but it was in one of the worst places possible. Right between her thumb and index finger.

  “‘Tis no deeper than a well, nor wider than a church door,” I muttered.

  “A plague on both your houses.”

  Our eyes locked, each burning with their own color of fire, the same source feeding the flames. We kissed almost violently. The driving desperation brought us together.

  I lifted Rachel onto the shelf opposite the sink as she untied her robe. The tight knot finally gave way to reveal her full glory.

  My hands went to her big breasts as though drawn there by a magnetic force. Her young, pink nipples already stood as rigid as pencil erasers. Her muffled moans vibrated against my mouth and tongue as I fondled her curvy body, getting her warmed up and ready for what was coming next.

  Blazing a trail of warm, wet kisses along her neck and down her chest, I gently took one of her nipples in my mouth. Keeping the other between my thumb and forefinger, pulling on it, making her moan in unbridled delight.

  I switched sides, giving an equal amount of love to each breast before continuing my progress downward. Rachel instinctively pulled her heels up onto the edge of the counter-top, holding her legs wide.