The Darkest Of Light

by Sandy Alvarez

  "Are you finished? Because now it’s my turn."

  When she goes to open that sassy mouth of hers, I cut her off shaking my head, "Number one," I say pointing at my bed, "what we just shared together in my bed was NOT just sex and you damn well know it. The first time I took you it sure as hell was not just sex. That first night you gave yourself to me was the best night of my whole goddamn life. And knowing we created a life that night makes it that much more special. The lies I spewed, were just that, lies. I didn’t want you to give up your scholarship and not going to college for me. So, I hurt you. I pushed you away so you wouldn’t waste your opportunity on me. Number two, you are not a whore. If you ever call yourself that again, I’ll tan your ass," I growl. "I should not have said what I did. Realizing you were pregnant and knowing that you have been hanging around another fuckin’ man while you’ve been away… it fucked with my head. I jumped to my own conclusions. One thing you’re going to have to get used to, baby, is that I’m a man and men are always fuckin’ up. That’s why we need good woman to help us rein that shit in." At my last statement, I don’t miss the small smile Alba tries to hide by looking down. "Lastly, number three, I’m well aware of what century it is Cariño Sweetheart. We will marry, because you belong to me. The baby in your belly belongs to me. Not today, and not even tomorrow, but one day soon we will be making that shit legal."

  Just as she’s about to open her mouth to protest once again, I stalk towards her. With my bed sheet still wrapped around her body, Alba takes three steps backwards until her back hits the wall and I’m standing over her. Leaning down, I bring my face a mere inch from hers. Her breaths come out in pants. There is no denying the effect I have on her.

  "Not only do you belong to me, but I’m in love with you. You, mi amor my love, are the light to my dark. You are my home."

  Chapter Seventeen

  Alba

  I can’t breathe.

  With my back against the wall, my eyes closed and my hands still clutching the sheet that’s wrapped around my body. I feel like all the air has left my body. Gabriel is in love with me. Sure, I heard him say he loved me moments ago when he was inside me, but I figured that was just a knee jerk confession. Something a lot of men probably say while they have sex brain.

  Let’s be real, people can say all kinds of crazy things in the heat of the moment. But right now, Gabriel is level-headed and his facial expressions tell me he is being completely honest.

  I’m trying so hard to be strong. To put up a fight. He does not deserve such easy forgiveness. I want him to suffer as much as I have. I know it’s wrong to think like that, but I do. Only my will is crumbling as we speak.

  Why? I was doing so well. And now…poof. All it took was for him to say those five, beautiful, gut-wrenching words.

  I’m in love with you.

  I can feel his breath in my face. He’s so close. Only I can’t bring myself to open my eyes, because once I do, the last shred of fight will be gone. One look in Gabriel’s dark eyes, and I’ll surrender.

  "Baby, open your eyes." Gabriel coaxes.

  Giving in, I open them. And I have never seen his face look so soft and tender as it does in this moment. He’s looking at me so intently. Watching, and waiting. There is a raging battle going on between my head and my heart. It’s my heart that wins.

  "I’m in love with you too." I’m barely able to croak out before he responds.

  "Yeah, you are." He says before his mouth comes crashing down on mine.

  Releasing my grip on the sheet, I bring my hands up to his head and fist his hair, tugging him closer to me. My body instinctively seeking the heat of his. Grabbing my ass, Gabriel lifts me and I wrap my legs around his waist as he turns and lowers me to the bed behind us.

  "Hands and knees, now,” he demands.

  Complying, I turn over getting on my hands and knees. When I do, the first thing I notice is my reflection. Right in front of us on the opposite side of the bed is a mirror. When my eyes meet Gabriel’s, I’m hypnotized. I have a feeling this was his intention and not once do we break the connection.

  Standing behind me, I watch as he begins to stroke himself. My insides clench at the thought of having him inside me again. Seconds later he runs the head of his cock over my clit. Back and forth, teasing me. I’m so wet and Gabriel growls in approval. With one hand on my hip he uses the other to grab the base of his shaft to line himself at my opening. Once the head of his cock is inside me he stops, causing me to whimper. Just as I’m about to open my mouth to beg, Gabriel grabs both my hips and thrust forward, burying himself completely, knocking the wind out of me.

  "Oh god." I mutter throwing my head back.

  "Eyes." Gabriel barks.

  Meeting his stare once again, he starts to move. Only this time it’s not slow and sweet.

  No, this time is hard and fast.

  A claiming.

  He looks so wild and feral. Gabriel is a beast. My beast. Without missing a beat, he brings one arm under me, snaking it between my breast and wraps his hand around my throat possessively but tenderly and urges me to sit up, leaving me no choice but to reach behind him and grab a hold of the back of his head. Keeping his hand on my throat, he uses his other hand to cup my pussy and his middle finger pressed on my clit while he continues to drive into me. With nothing but the sounds of flesh meeting flesh and our heavy breathing, Gabriel whispers into my ear before nipping my sweaty neck.

  "Come, Cariño Sweetheart."

  And I do. I come so hard, flashes of light dance behind my eyelids. My nails dig into Gabriel’s scalp, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I drew blood. I don’t even have it in me to care about everyone possibly hearing us because of how loud I just screamed. Gabriel continues to pump through my release for several more seconds before he finds his own.

  "Fuck!" he roars as he stills behind me and fills me with his warm release.

  Continuing to hold me in this position, I lay my head back against his shoulder, trying to catch my breath, as he peppers my shoulder with soft lazy kisses. My skin prickles and I hum at the feel of his soft lips and rough beard. And in this moment, I know I’m exactly where I should be. I am home.

  I’m sick of shopping.

  Yes, I said it.

  I too can’t believe I’m saying such filth, but I am. After Gabriel and I worked through his epic screw up two months ago, he informed me that he bought us a house. He confessed he bought it before I even came home. He said he knew he was going to do whatever was necessary to get me back, and once I was his, he wanted us to have a home we could share together.

  His confession had rendered me speechless. Gabriel bought a house for us. Not out of obligation because we were having a baby. He didn’t even know about our baby yet. But he bought the house out of love. He wanted to give me what he thought I deserved. He wanted to build a home and a life with me. So, when he brought me here to show me our new home for the first time, I was ecstatic.

  He drove us in my truck about 15 minutes from the clubhouse to the place we’d call home. I could not believe my eyes as he parked the truck in front of a two-story Victorian style home. It was white with blue shutters and a blue front door. I smiled. My man gets me. There was also a large wrap around porch that extended around the entire house. And sitting on the front of the porch next to the front door.

  You guessed it, two blue rocking chairs. I couldn’t tell much in the way of landscaping since the ground was covered in snow.

  Coming up behind me and wrapping his strong arms around my belly, Gabriel’s deep voice caresses my ear.

  "When I saw this place, I knew it was yours. Welcome home mi amor my love."

  Gabriel lead me inside and began showing me around. When he informed me all the decorating and furnishing was going to be left up to me because he said, "I don’t know anything about that shit." I could hardly contain my excitement.

  So, here I am two weeks later, and I am finally finished. All the guys from the club pitched in with painting and
moving in all the furniture. God forbid Gabriel catch me lifting a finger. Like being pregnant makes you an invalid. That being said, I never want to go to another furniture store or look at paint samples ever again.

  Gabriel spared no expense either. He handed over his credit card and told me to get whatever I wanted. I tried to tell him I could help pay for some of the things, but he shot that idea down quickly, saying he was proud of me for starting my own business and making my own money, but I was his woman and he was going to take care of me. He suggested I use my money and start a savings for the baby. I agreed. It was a great idea.

  We also had a few bumps in the road when it came to us finally moving in together. I was very apprehensive with taking such a big step. Even though Gabriel laid his feelings on the line and was clear about his intentions, I just didn’t have it in me to put myself out there right away. So as much as I wanted to move into our new home and start building our life together, I held back.

  I took my sister up on her offer to stay with her and Logan. Gabriel was not happy, but he understood. He knew his actions in the past are what was having me play things safe. I think a part of me just wanted him to sweat a little. Only he didn’t suffer for long. Gabriel lasted only a week.

  On the seventh day of me staying with my sister, he showed up at her house. When Bella answered the door, Gabriel swept passed her only stopping a fraction of a second to inform me that enough was enough, it was time for me to come home. He then stomped up the stairs and returned a few minutes later with my suitcases in hand. I sat stunned on the sofa, while my sister was still standing by the front door trying to hide a smile. Logan was leaning against the living room wall nursing a beer. His raised eyebrow and bored look lead me to believe he saw this coming. I guess in a way I did too. And to tell you the truth, I was miserable the entire week.

  As far as school goes, I don’t miss it. I do miss my friends though. Leah had to leave the day after she drove me here. She was going home for the holidays. I could tell she wasn’t looking forward to it. I invited her to stay in Polson, but she said her parents were expecting her.

  I talk to Sam on the phone every day. He told me the manager of the apartment complex offered him another apartment to stay in since the one we were living in was being repainted. Sam said he didn’t want to continue living in ours anyway after what had happened. I made him promise to come visit one weekend. Gabriel happened to walk in the room at the tail end of that conversation and about lost his head. I calmly explained to him that Sam was just a friend, and he was going to stay my friend. He was just going to have to accept that. I didn’t mention the fact that I’m pretty sure Sam is gay, and he has nothing to worry about, but it’s not my place to out him, especially when he hasn’t even come out to me.

  Walking into the kitchen, I open the refrigerator and spy the fruit salad my sister made and brought to me yesterday. Setting it on the counter I eye the fruit for a moment, knowing what I really want is ice cream. Giving into the temptation I place the fruit salad back in the refrigerator and grab the mint chocolate chip out of the freezer. With my ice cream and spoon in hand, I pass by the kitchen window and spot Austin sitting on the front porch.

  Gabriel has designated Austin my bodyguard. The guys still haven’t found the person who was harassing me. Having Austin around so much feels a little like déjà vu. He was a constant in mine and Bella’s lives not too long ago. And here he is again, playing guard and chauffeur. I’m not allowed to go anywhere without him or one of the other guys with me.

  Gabriel stayed home with me the first week I was back. He hates leaving me, but work calls. He has clients that he couldn’t put off for too long. Plus I kind of needed the break. I love the man, but he treats me as if I’m made of glass. The first couple of days he was fawning over me were great, but a girl can only take so much. I’ve also noticed the Gabriel I get is totally opposite to the Gabriel everyone else gets. With me he’s this sweet, loving, gentle giant. With everyone else he’s broody, asshole Gabriel.

  It’s like Jekyll and Hyde.

  All the guys are completely unfazed by his gruff attitude. Before when my sister first started seeing Logan and we were staying at the clubhouse so much, I never really paid much attention as to how Gabriel was with everyone. I was always so caught up in how sweet he was with me. That and I spent more time alone in my room instead of socializing. I’m an introvert. I’m most comfortable being alone or around the people I’m closest to.

  In the past couple weeks, Gabriel has opened up to me about his past. I was shocked at how forth coming he’s been. He’s told me about growing up in Cuba. Being forced by his father to leave his country and his family. My heart broke for him when he told me about his father’s death. To be left parentless and homeless at the age of sixteen. I can’t begin to imagine the things he had to go through on a daily basis in order to survive. He held me that night as I cried for him and the awful events he’s endured. For the young boy who had lost so much. I blamed the pregnancy hormones for my emotional meltdown.

  Gabriel’s sister Leyna has been a daily visitor as well. We have grown close in such a short time. I feel like I’ve known her my whole life. I tried convincing her to move in with her brother and I instead of staying at the clubhouse, but she refused. She said that Gabriel and I needed this time for ourselves. That due to Gabe’s stupidity we missed out on so much and now was our time. Leyna was the one who told me about Santino. She didn’t know her brother had not divulged that bit of information yet. Later that same day after Gabriel got home from work, I confronted him. I asked him why he hadn’t told me. His response was he didn’t want to upset me. After my breakdown about his childhood, he figured I’d heard enough. He said he was going to tell me eventually, just not now. He also said my getting upset was not good for the baby.

  Grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around my body I step out onto the porch. Reid, who’s replacing Austin for the rest of the day, is sitting on the steps with his back against the rail smoking a cigarette. When he notices me, he quickly drops it to the ground snubbing it out with his boot. Even though we are outside and the smoke is nowhere near me, Gabriel forbids anyone to light up within fifty feet of me.

  I roll my eyes, "You didn’t have to do that. Gabriel’s not here to bust your balls."

  "Nah, it’s all good. Gonna respect my brother whether he’s here or not."

  I nod in response. I get it.

  "So, what’s on the agenda for today?" he asks.

  "Well, I was thinking about taking Gabriel some lunch. Then maybe swinging by the garage to see my sister."

  "Alright. You want me to drive?"

  "No. I think I feel like driving myself today. Just give me thirty minutes. I need to send out a couple emails and whip up some lunch, then I’ll be ready," I tell him standing up from my chair.

  "You got it, sweetheart. I’m going to shoot Gabriel a text letting him know we’ll be there soon."

  Back inside I toss my forgotten ice cream back into the freezer, then make my way up the stairs to the bedroom to change. Pulling off my pajama pants I swap them for a pair of fleece leggings. They are warm and fit over my expanding belly. Bella bought me several pairs for Christmas.

  Gabriel and I celebrated our first Christmas and New Year’s in our new house. It was empty. All we had was a king size mattress on the floor in front of the fireplace and a Christmas tree. Christmas Eve dinner was pizza. It was perfect. The next day everyone went to the clubhouse for dinner. I fell back in sync with Bella and Lisa, helping them cook. This Christmas was the best I had ever had.

  And for our first Valentine’s, I wasn’t expecting anything, because…well this is Gabriel we’re talking about. I definitely didn’t see him as a hearts and flowers type of man and I was right, he’s not. Instead, he got me an abundance supply of Peanut Butter Cups and books. Books signed by some of my favorite authors. He confessed he had some help from Bella. It’s was the best gift I had ever received. My man sure knows how to woo me.r />
  After slipping on my boots and pulling on my coat, I head back downstairs and find Reid standing by the front door with his hands in his pockets waiting on me.

  "You ready? I have your truck warmed up for ya."

  Stopping at the end of the stairs, I eye him with a grin. I know it was Gabriel that told him to do that.

  "Yeah, I’m ready." With my purse slung over my shoulder, I follow him out the door to my truck.

  "I’ll be right behind you," he hollers over his shoulder on the way to his own car.

  I keep my speed a little under the limit because I’ve only been driving for a year and half, the snow and ice still make me nervous. I’m five miles from King’s Ink when I am descending a steep hill. I go to apply my brakes and realize they are not working.

  "What the hell!" I pump the brakes again only to have them press all the way to the floor board. Panic takes a hold of me and I feel my heart in my throat. "Oh god! What do I do!" I scream out to no one. Before I know it. my speed has reached fifty MPH. My hands are shaking so bad, I can hardly steer.

  Looking in my rear-view mirror I don’t see Reid behind me. Glancing to my left I see his truck right beside me, with his window down. I can tell he’s screaming at me by the movement of his lips, but I can’t hear anything past the beating of my own heart.

  With tears clouding my vision all I can think is that this is it. I’m going to crash. I’m going to die. My baby is going to die.

  My thoughts are flooding my brain as my truck hits a patch of ice. I can no longer control the wheel. I feel my seat belt lock tight as my truck jerks violently to the right before it flips on its side, and I begin to roll. All I hear is the sound of screeching tires and crunching metal mixed with my screams right before my head collides with the window.