Confessions at Midnight

by Jacquie D’Alessandro

  Yes, Daniel had noticed his footman's attentiveness this morning. It seemed clear Samuel's attention was more than simple concern-the young man was smitten.

  Smitten… his gaze rested on Carolyn. I know exactly how he feels.

  He frowned at his inner voice's whisperings. Bloody hell, what rubbish. He wasn't smitten. Smitten meant one's heart was involved, and his most assuredly was not. He was merely… in lust. Granted, deeply in lust, but nothing more. Absolutely not. Only a fool would fall for a woman whose heart belonged to another man.

  Shaking off all ridiculous thoughts of being smitten, Daniel escorted Carolyn down the corridor to the drawing room. The dogs pranced after them, followed by the cats, who strolled along at a more sedate pace.

  "So is this all of your family?" she asked.

  "All the furry sort who reside here. There's a feathered fiend by the name of Naughty, but he's not presentable enough to meet a lady."

  "Oh, yes. I recall Katie mentioned a parrot. I'm most curious as to why he's named such. I'd like to make his acquaintance."

  Daniel coughed to hide his horrified laugh. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you cannot meet Naughty."

  She lifted her brows. "This from the man who said he'd grant any request I made?"

  "You do not want to meet Naughty. He used to reside in a pub frequented by very unsavory sorts who taught him very inappropriate phrases. I assure you he is very aptly named."

  She halted, bringing them to a stop, and planted her hands on her hips. He heard a muffled tapping sound and realized it was the toe of her shoe hitting the carpet. "I've never heard a bird talk before. I'm sure he's delightful."

  "He's a menace."

  "Consider me duly warned."

  "You'll be shocked."

  "I'm not as delicate as you think. Perhaps I can teach him some manners."

  "Doubtful. He's very set in his ways." Noting the determined glint in her gaze, he narrowed his eyes. "Are you always this stubborn?"

  She lifted her chin a bit higher. "Occasionally. When I want something."

  "Would you like to know what I want?" Without giving her a chance to reply, he snatched her against him and covered her mouth with his. She gasped, effectively parting her lips, and he deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring the delicious warm silk of her mouth. She melted against him, entwined her arms around his neck and mated her tongue with his. A groan vibrated in his throat. Bloody hell, how had he survived the last quarter hour without kissing her?

  He pulled her tighter against him, lost in the feel and scent of her, and kissed her as if he were famished and she a twelve course meal. His body hardened and he settled one hand over the luscious curve of her bottom and slowly rubbed himself against her. By God, she just tasted and felt so damn good.

  A series of barking sounds broke through the haze of desire engulfing him, and he slowly raised his head. And moaned at the sight of Carolyn's flushed face and moist, kiss-swollen lips. She blinked her eyes open and he stared into their aroused depths. He then flicked a scowl down at his quartet of dogs, all of whom stared up at him with curious gazes. Part of him wanted to banish the beasts for interrupting his kiss, but he grudgingly admitted that if they hadn't, he would have pressed Carolyn against the corridor wall, lifted her skirts, and shocked the entire household.

  Damn it, what was wrong with him? The way she robbed him of his control was both troubling and irksome, and becoming more of pressing problem. How did she make him forget all sense of time and place like that?

  "Heavens," she murmured, reclaiming his attention. "You're very good at that."

  He swallowed the humorless sound that rose in his throat. Gratified as he was to hear her say so, he felt like an uncouth, groping green lad. "I could say the same to you."

  She seemed to suddenly recall where they were and stepped back. As much as he didn't want to release her, he forced himself to do so. If for no other reason than to prove to himself that he could.

  "Since you're determined, shall we go see Naughty?" he asked.

  Her lips twitched. "I thought I just had."

  "I meant the parrot."

  "Oh. In that case, I accept."

  They continued down the corridor, dogs trotting at their heels. When they entered the library, they were greeted by a loud squawk. Blinky and Tippy settled themselves at the base of Naughty's large dome-shaped cage and stared at the colorful bird with the zeal a highwayman would bestow on a money-stuffed purse.

  "Lady Wingate, this is Naughty. Please do not say I didn't warn you."

  "Hello, Naughty," she said.

  Naughty sidestepped around his cage then fixed his beady, black-eyed gaze on Carolyn. "Lift your skirt, hussy."

  Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. He'd known this was a mistake.

  "Goodness, you are naughty," Carolyn said.

  "Drop your drawers, strumpet," suggested Naughty.

  "I'm afraid I cannot," Carolyn said in a perfectly calm voice, "as I'm not wearing any."

  Daniel nearly choked on his laughter. Carolyn threw him a sideways glance. "Are you certain he learned these things in a pub and not from you?"

  Daniel placed his hands over his heart. "I swear. I would have taught him useful phrases."

  "Hmmm. I'd think you'd consider 'lift your skirt' and 'drop your drawers' very useful."

  He moved to stand behind her and slipped his arms around her, encircling her waist. "Is that an offer?" he asked, nuzzling her fragrant neck with his lips.

  "Certainly not. Especially since, as I just pointed out to your parrot, I'm not wearing any drawers."

  He lightly bit her earlobe, and absorbed the slight tremor that ran through her. "If you keep reminding me of that, we won't get out of this room until sometime tomorrow."

  She turned in his arms and he looked down into eyes filled with an intoxicating mixture of arousal and mischief. "But you promised me tea. And biscuits."

  The word biscuits brought a sharp yap from Droopy.

  "There are other things I'd much rather give you." he said, giving her pelvis a light nudge with his.

  "Oh? Diamonds? Emeralds? Pearls?"

  He raised one hand and cupped her breast. "Among other things."

  She leaned into his touch, her nipple pebbling beneath her gown. "Now who's being Naughty?"

  "Beautiful lady, beautiful lady," squawked the parrot.

  Daniel smiled into her eyes. "Now that's the smartest thing he's ever said. And he says plenty, believe me."

  "So I've gathered."

  "Give us a smooch," said Naughty.

  "You heard the parrot," Daniel said in a perfectly serious tone. '"Give us a smooch.'"

  With a laugh, she raised on her toes. "If you insist."

  His lips brushed over hers and he fought against the urge to deepen the kiss. Forced himself to keep the contact light-if for no other reason than to prove he could remain in control.

  "Let's have a tup, lady."

  Daniel raised his head and shot Naughty a glare. It was definitely time to get Carolyn away from his chattering bird. "Time for tea," he said, taking her hand and leading her toward the door.

  "What's a 'tup'?" Carolyn asked.

  Daniel dragged his free hand down his face and tugged her out of the room. "It's an… unladylike term."

  "For what?"

  "Carnal relations." Instantly, a plethora of images bombarded him. Of him and Carolyn, naked bodies entwined, engaged in carnal relations. A film of sweat coated the base of his spine and he clenched his jaw.

  When they reached the drawing room, he deliberately kept the door open-just to prove to himself that he could. That he didn't need to touch her. Or kiss her. That he was perfectly capable of not doing so. That he could win the struggle to retain the gentlemanly restraint she so effortlessly stripped from him.

  So instead of giving in to the overwhelming desire to lock the door and drag her to the floor, he went to his desk and withdrew a piece of vellum. "What were those French phra
ses that will save me?"

  She'd just finished repeating them when Katie entered bearing the tea tray. Daniel noted that although the young maid's lip was still swollen and bruises still marred her face, she looked much better than she had last evening.

  "How are you feeling, Katie?" he asked.

  "Much improved, milord, thank ye," she answered, setting the tray on the table in front of the settee.

  "Are you certain you feel well enough to be working already? There's no need to rush."

  "I'm fine, milord. And wouldn't dream of takin' advantage of yer generosity." She straightened and clasped her hands in front of her. "I'm grateful not only for ye seein' my injuries treated, but fer givin' me this position." She swallowed. "I'd 'bout given up on thinkin' there were still decent people in this city." She shifted her gaze to Carolyn. "And my thanks to you, too, my lady. Ye were so kind to me." Her bottom lip trembled. "And Gertrude as well. She reminded me so much of my mum. Died last year, my mum did. I miss her somethin' awful."

  "I'm so sorry for your loss," Carolyn said. "And I'm glad you're feeling better."

  "Thank ye." She offered a quick curtsy then quit the room, leaving the door open, as she'd found it.

  "Shall I pour?" Carolyn asked.

  "Thank you." His gaze drifted to his dogs, who sat lined up on the hearth rug like pigeons upon a branch, their gazes riveted on the plate of biscuits. "You have a rapt audience," he said with a chuckle.

  After serving them both-and tossing each dog a biscuit-she sipped her tea, then stared into the hearth at the low-burning flames. Darnel's gaze roamed over her, taking in her glossy hair, delicate features, and lovely pale green muslin gown. Bloody hell, she was stunning. Literally, as she completely stunned him, not only with her beauty, but her wit. And intelligence. And that devilishly mischievous streak. And the passion that sizzled beneath the surface of that perfect, ladylike exterior.

  He was just contemplating how she would react to him pulling her onto his lap when she turned toward him.

  "I have a proposition to offer you," she said.

  "Yes," he said without hesitation.

  "Yes what?"

  "My answer is yes. To your proposition."

  She blinked. "You don't even know what it is."

  "I cannot fathom not liking anything you might suggest. Especially if it's anything like what I was thinking."

  "And what were you thinking?"

  "That I'd like to drag you onto my lap and slip my hand beneath your gown."

  She looked toward the ceiling, but a smile teased the corners of her mouth. "Again you're thinking of sensual matters."

  "Not at all. Clearly you didn't hear the word 'gown,' which makes it, once again, a clothing matter."

  "Certainly an activity ripe with appeal and possibilities. However, my proposition-at least this one-concerns Katie and her employment situation."

  "You mean her position here?"

  "Yes. Daniel, I suspect you do not really require another maid. That you offered the job to Katie simply out of kindness. And if that is indeed the case, well, I'd like to hire her."

  His brows rose. "You're in need of a maid?"

  "Not exactly."

  "Then why? You think her unhappy with her position here?"

  "Not at all," she said quickly, shaking her head. "But I thought about this all morning, wondering if I should broach the subject with you. Seeing Katie just now convinces me my idea is sound. She's obviously grateful to you, and your offering her the position was very kind and generous. But considering her circumstances, I wonder if she might not feel more comfortable in a woman's household. Plus, she clearly took a strong liking to Gertrude, as Gertrude did to her."

  She paused, looked down into her steaming cup, then again raised her gaze to his. "Plus, those things you said, about feeling useless and unfulfilled and how helping those in need has lessened those sentiments… I know all about feeling useless and unfulfilled, and have yearned for an enterprise to help chase them away. I find your efforts with your animals and now with helping Katie very admirable. Honorable. And I'd like to be a part of them. I thought offering Katie employment in my household could be a first step." Uncertainty flashed in her eyes. "That is, if you wouldn't mind my help."

  For several seconds Daniel simply stared at her, stilled by the unexpected emotions her words elicited. After clearing his throat, he said quietly, "It's been a very long time since anyone has used the words 'admirable' and 'honorable' to describe anything I've done, Carolyn."

  "I find that difficult to believe."

  "You shouldn't. They certainly haven't always described me. I'm not certain I deserve them now."

  Her gaze searched his, a frown marring her brow. "Based on your actions, on what I've observed, I'm certain you do. And I'm certain Samuel would say the same. And Katie. And all your animal friends, if they were able to do so."

  She set aside her teacup then reached out to lay her hand on his. Heat rushed up his arm, and his heart ridiculously skipped at the simple touch. "You should be proud of what you've done, Daniel. Of what you're continuing to do. And I'd be proud and honored to help you. In any way you'd allow me to do so. And I'd be delighted… and relieved… to be doing something useful."

  He looked down and studied her pale, slim hand resting on his. Bloody hell, he liked the way it looked atop his, so small and delicate. Liked the way it felt, so warm and soft. Liked the way it seemed as if it belonged there. A displaced piece of a puzzle that he hadn't even known was missing.

  He rarely found himself at a loss for words, but this woman had a way of tying his tongue into knots. Of flooding him with such unexpected emotions he couldn't even begin to figure them out, let alone verbalize them. She'd spoken to him as if she considered him some sort of hero-a huge error on her part, as he knew damn well he wasn't. But how could he tell her that? He'd never told anyone…

  He dragged his gaze up to hers, and realized by her high color and embarrassed expression that he'd remained silent too long.

  "I beg your pardon," she murmured, slipping her hand from his. "I didn't mean to-"

  He grabbed her hand and pressed it between his palms. "I'd be honored to have your assistance, Carolyn. Your offer to employ Katie is very generous and your reasoning is both sound and wise. We can put the proposition before her and allow her to decide. As for the animals, you may be sorry you've offered once your calm household is overrun with crazy canines, felines, and the odd rabbit or two. Or twelve. Believe me, chaos will reign."

  Her smile was tentative at first, then bloomed fully, and he felt as if the sun had emerged from behind a cloud. "My household could use a bit of chaos. And I'm very fond of animals."

  "Excellent. Shall we start you off with four dogs, two cats, and a very mouthy parrot?"

  "If I thought you'd part with any of them, I'd take you up on that offer. But 'tis obvious you adore them."

  He heaved a sigh and glanced at his four dogs and two cats, which all lay in a huddle on the hearth rug, heads resting on each others' backs and rumps. "Don't know how that motley bunch managed to get under my skin," he grumbled.

  "It's because you've a soft spot inside."

  "More like a soft spot in my head."

  She smiled, and he felt as if he were slipping into a stupor.

  Bloody hell, it seemed that he also had a soft spot right where he didn't want one. And had never before had one. Right in his heart.

  Well, he'd have to shore up that unexpectedly vulnerable point very quickly because this interlude with Carolyn was nothing more than an affair. A lighthearted, temporary liaison. To even for one moment consider it something more would be the height of foolishness. Her heart belonged to her husband's memory-she'd made that patently clear. His heart was his own-and he'd be wise to keep it that way.

  A lighthearted, temporary liaison.

  Yes, that's what this was supposed to be.

  So why did it suddenly feel so… unlighthearted? So… intense? Or was it sudden? Had
it always been so all-consuming? Bloody hell, he didn't know. And why, when he tried to imagine himself with a woman other than Carolyn, did his insides seem to curdle in protest? Why did no other woman's face materialize in his mind?

  Again, he didn't know. And damn it, he was afraid to examine those questions too closely for fear of what he'd find.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sometimes our lovemaking was slow and leisurely, which I always found enjoyable. But those other times, when it was frantic and wild, when we dragged each other to the floor and yanked at our clothes as if possessed by demons, when he lost all control and the memory of his hard thrusts could still be felt hours later… those were the times I liked best.

  Memoirs of a Mistress by An Anonymous Lady

  When Carolyn arrived home after tea with Daniel, she was greeted by Nelson, who informed her that Sarah, Julianne, and Emily, as well as the trio of Lady Walsh, Lady Balsam, and Mrs. Amunsbury had called during her absence. Carolyn nodded absently, her attention caught by the gorgeous display of roses decorating her foyer. Drawing a deep breath, she closed her eyes and absorbed their heady fragrance.

  A blush suffused her at the memory of her sensual carriage encounter with Daniel, and she had to press her lips together to contain her secret smile. The Anonymous Lady's retelling of such a liaison in the Memoirs had captivated her, and while the reading of it had been highly stimulating, it couldn't compare to the thrill of the actual experience.

  The Memoirs… yes, they'd inspired some very heated thoughts. Thoughts she'd very much like to share even more of with Daniel.

  An idea occurred to her, a wicked idea so tempting that after a moment's pondering she realized she couldn't resist. She hurried to the drawing room and retrieved her copy of the Memoirs from her desk. The strong scent of almonds wafted up from the box of marzipan she'd put in the drawer, and she wrinkled her nose even as guilt hit her. The candy was such a thoughtful gift, even though she much preferred the roses.