I met Noah's eyes.
"You jumped to conclusions. You blamed me without even listening to me. You didn't believe me when I told you it wasn't me. You thought the worst of me."
"I wish I could take it back."
"You can't."
"I have trust issues. I know I need to work on that."
"It's more than just trust issues, Noah. I can't be with someone who won't admit when he's feeling vulnerable and instead shuts people out."
"I—" he cut himself off, looking pained.
"You wouldn't tell your friends you were having trouble composing. You threw me out of your apartment the morning after telling me about Lily. You sent your own sister halfway across the world."
"I did that to protect her."
"You did that because you felt guilty and vulnerable."
Noah looked down, avoiding my eyes.
"You can't keeping pushing people away," I continued. "Eventually they're not going to come back."
"I'm sorry."
"I don't know if sorry is good enough. What about the next time something makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure? What happens the next time I try to get you to open up?"
"I… don't know. I told you before. It's hard."
"It's hard not being an asshole?"
"I'm trying." He took my hands in his. "Jen, I promise I'm trying."
I looked up to meet his eyes. They were unguarded for once, open and sincere.
"I realized the betrayal wouldn't have hurt so much if I didn't care about you as much as I do." Noah cupped my cheek and brought his lips close to mine, mere inches away. "Please don't give up on me."
I let him kiss me, soft and slow for several long moments before pulling back.
"I'm sorry, Noah." I slipped my hands out of his grip. "I can't keep opening my heart to you, only to have you throw it back in my face."
I opened the door to the club and stepped through. Loud music assaulted my ears. I looked back one last time. Noah's face was lined with pain. I gave him a sad smile.
"I hope our song does well."
I shut the door behind me.
Chapter Thirty
"Where'd you disappear to?" Natalie asked as I sidled up next to her. She and Ivy had scored an empty corner table to take a break from the dancing. "Last I saw you were dry humping that sexy blond guy over there."
"Noah was here."
Nat let out a happy little gasp.
"Why do you look so thrilled?" I asked. "Weren't you the one who wanted to gut him with a butter knife for hurting me?"
"That was before he showed up to make a grand romantic gesture." She stared at me intently. "He did make a grand romantic gesture, didn't he?"
"He dragged me out to the alley."
"For sex?"
"No! To apologize."
"Did he get down on his knees and grovel for forgiveness?"
"I wouldn't call it groveling. He seemed sincere, though."
"Are you going to take him back?" Ivy asked.
"How can I? I'll accept his apology, but all the issues that make him keep pushing me away are still there. I'm tired of banging my head up against a brick wall."
A flurry of squeals and shouts interrupted me before I could continue.
"Oh my god it's Noah Fucking Hart!" shrieked one girl at the table next to us.
"Great," I muttered. "He just had to make a scene on his way out."
"I don't think he's on his way out," Nat said with a nudge and a grin.
I turned to find Noah speaking with the DJ situated on a small stage in the corner of the dance floor. Money changed hands and the DJ gestured to a microphone stand before going to set up a large keyboard at the front of the stage.
Noah stared out at the crowd, microphone in hand. He looked oddly uncomfortable, considering he was the front man for one of the biggest rock groups around and had played to audiences hundreds of times bigger than this one.
He positioned himself in front of the keyboard and arranged the mic stand. My heart began beating wildly. What the hell was he up to?
Noah began speaking, the microphone amplifying his voice throughout the club.
"Hey. I'm Noah Hart, as I'm sure you all know."
I couldn't help but snort at his ego. But then again, from the squeals and cheers in the crowd, he was probably right.
"The song I'm going to play has never been performed in public before. It's a rough draft." His eyes scanned the room. "But I want to dedicate it to someone." He took a deep breath. "She helped me compose the song. I was having a hell of time trying to write it. I didn't want to ask for help. I didn't want to rely on anyone. I wanted to do it myself."
Natalie tugged at my sleeve. "He's doing his grand gesture!" she hissed.
I batted her hand away and shushed her. I didn't want to miss one second of Noah's announcement.
"She's the one who made me realize that it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to show your vulnerabilities. It's okay to open up to people. She made me want to trust again."
My heart melted in my chest as I was filled with a warm, pleasant glow. Noah looked out at the crowd, scanning the room until he found me. My pulse jumped erratically as our eyes met.
He placed his fingers over the keys. "This song is for the woman I love. This song is for Jen."
My heart thumped madly in my ribcage, a pleasant ache searing through me. I'd been longing to hear those words. I would have given anything to hear those words.
Noah began to play our song. Even though I'd heard versions of it a million times as we worked and re-worked it, Noah had never played it like this before.
Truths I cannot say
Reflected in your eyes
It sounded nothing like the terrible mess he'd played in front of the band. This song was moving. Heartfelt.
Like wide open gates
So pure and divine
The song took the audience through a bevy of emotions, wringing both sorrow and joy from the hearts of every listener.
You took me apart
Stone by stone
And with tears streaming down my cheeks, I was no different.
I have no more defenses
The king's been dethroned
When the song ended, the crowd was silent for a few stunned moments before they began applauding in awe. Noah didn't stick around to bask in their adoration. He jumped off the stage and strode over to me, moving purposefully but with an edge, like a wild animal finally let loose.
I ran towards him. The club patrons hastened to move out of my way. When I was within feet of him I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his hips. Noah caught me, holding me up with his hands under my thighs.
As I clung to him with one arm, I wiped tears from my eyes with the back of my other hand. Noah brushed a stray tear from my cheek with his thumb.
"I know I fucked up," he said. "But I'm hoping you'll give me another chance. I love you."
"Let's not do this here," I whispered.
He looked around and saw the gaping group staring at us, murmuring and whispering to each other. "You're right."
He carried me out the club's side doors back into the alleyway where we could have privacy before setting me down. I kept my arms wrapped around his neck, our fronts pressed together.
"That was a great performance," I said, trying not to sniffle.
"It didn't sound like trash?" He cracked a small smile.
I choked out a laugh. "No. It was absolutely not trash."
"Good. Because it would have sucked to sound shitty in front of all those people."
"You messed up so you decided that a public confession was the way to right your wrongs?"
"Yes," he said simply. "Because I love you."
I waited before answering, staring into his eyes. They were intense, burning into me. He looked like the only thing in the world he cared about were my next words.
"I love you, too."
His whole face softened, e
xpression lit up with wonder.
"So you forgive me? You'll give me another chance?"
I rested my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent, spice and leather. "I forgive you."
He let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes in relief for a brief moment. "I will never lash out like that and hurt you again. I promise."
I planted a soft kiss on his lips. I went to pull back, but he tugged me closer, deepening the kiss. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue licked at the seam of my lips, seeking entrance. I gave it to him, our tongues sliding together with a warm, wet heat.
I could feel his length begin to harden against my hip. A shiver ran through me as heat pooled between my legs.
"I said I don't do break up sex," I murmured into his mouth, "but I didn't say anything about make-up sex."
He looked confused for a moment before a carnal grin cross his face. "Are you reconsidering your stance on alley sex?"
I peeked up through my lashes, giving him a coy smile. "Just this once."
Noah's eyes blazed as he attacked my mouth. My heartbeat picked up speed, pounding wildly beneath my ribcage. I buried my hands in his hair, tugging him closer.
He pressed me against the hard brick wall, kissing me with a desperation that made my stomach flip. My body reacted to his instinctively, matching every breath, every touch of his lips, every brush of his tongue. His hands cupped my ass, grinding our hips together. He was already so hard. My hands trembled with impatience as I reached for the zipper of his jeans and pulled it down.
Noah hissed as I took his cock in my hand. I stroked it lightly, using my thumb to play with his cockhead, spreading around the beads of liquid weeping from the tip.
His fingers trailed up my inner thighs, lifting the hem of my dress until he reached the elastic of my panties. He carefully brushed two fingers between the valley of my legs. I let out a soft moan at the touch. He hummed in satisfaction as he pulled my panties down my thighs.
"You're already so wet for me," he murmured. "Do you want my cock that bad?"
"You know I do." I stepped out of my panties and hitched one leg around his waist. I looked up to meet his eyes. "I want your cock fucking me until I scream."
His eyes flashed with heat. He picked me up and pressed my back against the rough wall. I wrapped my legs around his waist. His cock was right there, so close to where I needed him. He angled his cock until it was nestled in my folds, barely entering me. I squirmed and wiggled my hips, trying to take him inside of me.
"So fucking eager," Noah growled. "I'm going to make you take every single inch of me."
"Do it," I moaned, digging my nails into his shoulders. "Make me take it all."
With a snap of his hips he thrust into me. I let out a sharp gasp, then a moan as his cock filled me, stretching me, spreading me wide. The feeling of him sliding into my depths was incredible. He didn't stop pushing until he was seated deep inside me, giving me every inch like he said he would.
"Move," I demanded with a whimper, rocking my hips back and forth.
He pulled out and thrust back in again, his thick cock dragging deliciously against my inner walls. He went slow at first, then began slamming into me faster and faster. The feeling of him fucking me full of his cock was pure bliss. I could feel the rough wall against my back, but that feeling was so distant, so inconsequential, that I didn't even care if it left scratches.
Noah placed his hands under my thighs and shifted me into the right position. I let out a shout as his cock pounded against something that caused me to see sparks.
"Do that again," I gasped.
He slammed back into me, hitting that spot over and over again, until I was thrashing and sobbing, my pussy clenching down hard as I exploded. He fucked me through it as I gasped for air, my orgasm rocketing me to heights I'd yet to reach.
My pussy fluttered around him, tightening and throbbing with every burst of pleasure.
Noah groaned and continued thrusting as I felt his cock twitch and spasm, spilling himself into me. His shoulders shook under my hands, his arms trembling with the force of his release.
After long moments he seemed to come back to himself. He gingerly withdrew and set me back down on shaky legs. I clung to him, breathing heavily. It was several moments before I could even speak.
I opened my mouth to tell Noah how amazing that was. He quickly covered my lips with his, kissing the breath out of me again. When we finally parted he rested his forehead against mine.
He looked deep into my eyes. His own were soft and loving, except for the slightly evil glint.
"So now that you've reconsidered alley sex, maybe we can give this a go at Walt's?"
I burst out laughing and threw myself back into his arms. He caught me with a tight grip around my waist, one hand cradling the back of my head. His fingers sifted through the strands with a gentle touch.
"Is that a yes?" he teased.
As I snuggled down into his embrace I began to imagine all the various and myriad places we could have sex. For the first time, I began to imagine a real future together.
My future with Noah Hart.
Epilogue
Noah played the final version of our song for Naomi and the band. They were more than impressed. August offered me a job on the spot. It seemed one of the newer up and coming bands he produced for was looking to work with a songwriter.
"No," Naomi objected. "She's mine. I've already spoken to Jen about some work I have for her."
"No reason she can't do both," August challenged.
I was both speechless and bursting with joy when Noah wrapped his arms around me from behind.
"See?" he murmured in my ear. "Nothing to worry about. They loved it. They love you."
I turned around and hugged him. "I should have listened to you all those times you tried to stroke my ego."
"Watch out. Soon your head will be as big as mine." Noah took a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it over.
I took it, confused. "What is it?"
"Just read it."
I opened the folded paper to find a contract. It looked like the one I'd signed before my very first meeting with Naomi and Noah. "Is this the non-disclosure agreement?"
"Close. Look at the last few lines."
I skimmed the paper. "Something about rights and royalties and copyright…?"
He took it from my hands. "I won't make you read the whole thing. But it essentially gives you official credit as one of the songwriters for You Are My Heart."
I gaped, unable to process the words that had come out of his mouth. "What?"
"That's the title of our song. You're going to get songwriting credits for it. I changed the contract. You just have to sign it."
My mind raced. "You named our song after…?"
"I hope you don't mind I borrowed it."
Tears stung the back of my eyes. "I don't mind at all."
"I wanted our song to have a connection to your mom. It was her work, it was her love for you, that helped us complete it. Instead of feeling sad and angry and guilty whenever you thought of her, I wanted to help you feel something good. Something beautiful and loving."
I couldn't believe Noah had been so thoughtful. He'd taken something that had only ever caused me pain and heartache and turned it into something full of love and joy.
I stared at him for long moments before throwing my arms around his neck and squeezing tight. "Thank you."
"No. Thank you. I should have done this from the beginning. I shouldn't have tried to hide everything and keep it a secret." He ran his hands through my hair. "You deserve all the praise you're going to get for this song."
Noah's cell phone rang in his jeans pocket. I knew it must be his sister, because no one ever called Noah. I removed my arms from around his neck and let him answer.
I could hear Lily's excited chattering through the tinny speakers. She must have been so happy to finally be able to spend time with her brother again.
For all of Noah's fears
and worries about her safety, Lily didn't seem to give two thoughts about the risks of coming home.
I couldn't deny I was nervous. I wanted to meet Noah's little sister, but I worried what she would think of me. If Lily was even half as protective of her older brother as he was of her, she would be a hard person to impress.
Noah and Lily had relied on each other their whole lives. It made sense they would be close, that they would look out for one another. I wanted to make a good impression on her.
Noah hung up the phone, unable to keep a smile from his lips. "Lily's anxious to come back."
"You really miss her, don't you?"
"Every day. I wish I had done things differently, but…"
I put my hand on his chest. "I'm sure Lily understands."
He placed his hand over mine, squeezing it. "I can't wait to introduce the two of you."
"Really?"
"Yeah. The two most important women in my life." He took my hands and placed a soft kiss on each palm before meeting my eyes. "The two women I love."
My heart burst in my chest. "Noah Hart, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."
"Don't get used to it."
I couldn't help smiling. Although he'd come a long way, we still had a few miles to go. I was fine with that. He was worth the work.
After all, he was Noah Fucking Hart.
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Coming Soon:
Darkest Days #2: Hard Rock Sin
Featuring bassist of Darkest Days Cameron Thorne and Noah Hart's baby sister Lily, Hard Rock Sin is the second novel in the Darkest Days Rock Star Romance Series.
Turn the page to continue the Hard Rock story with Hard Rock Gaze, featuring sex god guitarist Jayce Evans
Hard Rock Tease: A Rock Star Romance (Darkest Days Book 1) Page 19
