Kat in Zombieland

by Gena Showalter

  She is a good person. And she loves him. She must. I misjudged this girl far more than I realized.

  I don't know if she's Frosty's happily-ever-after, but I think... I think she's better for him than I ever was. I wanted him to stay behind, to stay safe and avoid the fight. She marches by his side.

  "I'd feel better if you yelled at me," Ali grumbles, but Milla refuses to oblige.

  "I'm sorry too," I say, managing to push the words past the lump in my throat. So very sorry. "We had no right. We aren't your judge, jury, or executioner."

  Milla draws in a breath, holds it, then slowly releases it. "Here are the facts. If I knew in the beginning that I'd die, I might not have agreed to guard Frosty." Let him who is without sin cast the first stone... I don't qualify to even hold a stone.

  The door opens, and the guy in question enters the room. My heart races. This is my first sight of him since The Kiss, and all I want to do is hug him. Would he push me away? Well, if he could actually touch me.

  He looks gorgeous and so wonderfully alive in a black T-shirt and a pair of ripped jeans that hang low on his waist. He pauses, nods to Ali, nods to me, then stares at Milla. "I heard voices."

  Inside me, sadness collides with happiness. Once upon a time, he would have focused on me and me alone. He would have pulled me into his arms and the rest of the world would have faded away for both of us. That era has come to an end. We're different now, both of us.

  He might love Milla right back. In his eyes I see raw adoration. The sadness fades, leaving only happiness. No, not just happiness, but acceptance too. This is good. This is right.

  "We were just leaving." Ali stands, gives Milla a hug, and slinks from the room.

  "Again, I'm sorry," I whisper to Milla. "I wish... Well, it doesn't matter, does it? Wishes mean nothing. Actions mean everything." I return to the holding zone.

  Actions do mean everything, and I need to act. I need to prove myself. But how?

  I spend the rest of the night studying cases fought for and against my Bama slayers, as well as cases fought for and against other groups of slayers. I'm looking for inspiration, because I also set a date for court. For tomorrow morning. I need to know what to ask for. The court doesn't decide who lives or dies. Humans do that with their actions. Their own actions, as well as the actions of others. We can only provide guidance and arrange protection. But how do I protect Frosty and Milla?

  "Hordes of zombies are headed for Reeve's house." Emma's voice yanks me from my thoughts. "Every undead wants a piece of Milla. There's something about her blood... They crave her and her alone."

  Crap! "I'll warn the slayers." I return to the mansion and find the slayers in the armory.

  "There are probably two hundred zombies," Cole says. "Justin and Gavin were on patrol and spotted them. In our favor, they aren't wearing collars, so there are no bombs. Also, when our boys tried to engage, they were ignored. The hordes are acting just like Milla when she searched for Mackenzie Love."

  Mac Love. Another slayer. She was recently kidnapped by Anima. Milla found her.

  "But I scented slayers," Milla replies. "Why would zombies ignore Justin and Gavin?"

  "The serum draws like to like, remember." Frosty hands her two guns with retractable axes and shows her how to work them. "But why aren't zombies fighting other zombies right now?"

  "It's not Milla they hunger for," I pipe up. Someone give me a gold star, because dang! My studying has paid off already, in a way I hadn't anticipated. "They want thanatos." The poison Anima's mole injected into Milla's body. The company claims it will cause zombies to eat each other rather than slayers and humans. What they failed to mention during their first court session about it was the fact that a single bite would strengthen the zombies exponentially. No, that information arose in the second court case.

  "But she's not lit up with red flames." Ali slams a clip in place. "How can they scent it?"

  Red flames are the hallmark of thanatos and the reason Milla once caught fire in her dreams and woke up covered in soot, as well as the reason the zombies hungered for her. "As with any fire, heat and smoke waft. In this case, spiritual heat and smoke. And it's only growing stronger."

  Milla flattens her hands over her stomach, her features taut. "I don't feel hot. Don't see any smoke. Should I wear one of the suits?"

  A hazmat suit would prevent the zombies from sensing her.

  "No. Let the hordes come," Frosty snarls. His protective side has come out to play. "Let them ignore us while trying to get to you, unable to reach you. Because yes, you'll ride the pine."

  She is rigid as steel, but she nods.

  "And if they can't scent you," Cole says, "they might attack any humans nearby. That we can't allow."

  "Okay. No suit," Milla says, losing some of her rigidity.

  "Be on the lookout," Cole says. "Smith might try to use our distraction against us and snatch Tiffany."

  Bronx--one of Frosty's best friends--smiles, but the gesture lacks any hint of amusement. "I wish her good luck with that. I set some wicked-ass traps around Tiff's cage."

  Tiff. Tiffany. She is the mole who poisoned Milla.

  "I'm thinking we need to stay together, just in case zombies turn on us," Ali says. "If someone gets bitten, we do whatever it takes to inject him--or her--with antidote. Speaking of, Reeve and Weber played with the formula so it works on anyone who's built up an immunity." She opens a case filled with syringes. "Take as many as you can carry."

  Frosty stuffs a handful in his pocket, and everyone else follows suit.

  I approach his side. "I'm sorry." Dang it! I meant to give him a pep talk. I'm good at those. You can do it--because I'm on your side.

  Milla meets my gaze, a thousand emotions glittering in her eyes. The front-runners? Pity, envy, worry, and hurt. I don't want to hurt her.

  I open my mouth to tell her I'm on her side, but she dons a blank mask and walks away.

  "I know," he tells me. "You're forgiven."

  Relief sweeps through me. "Frosty the softy," I say, teasing him. I give him the biggest smile I can manage. "Thank you."

  He holsters a gun. "Let's talk later, okay?"

  There's something about his tone--a finality I've never before heard--and I know. He's going to tell me good-bye. We've been building toward this moment for days. Maybe weeks.

  The words of the Supreme Judge roll through my mind. If Mr. Martin ever tells you to leave him be, you must leave him be.

  A new lump grows in my throat, but I nod and return to the holding zone to watch the battle--and pray for victory.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Victory has never seemed farther away.

  What happens when Kathryn decides to get involved? The worst!

  Milla and Frosty are ambushed by Anima soldiers hiding among the zombie hordes. Frosty is terribly injured. He and Milla are hauled to a secret lab where he is shot--again--and Milla is given an ultimatum: kill the rest of the slayers, or watch Frosty die.

  I watch everything from a TV screen in my house, cheering, booing, and screaming in denial. Ultimately, Milla agrees to kill the rest of the slayers. The same way she agreed to kill Ali in order to save her brother. The past is repeating itself, and yet...

  I know her better now, and I think she's misleading the people of Anima.

  She loves Frosty, yes. Or at least, I still believe she loves him. She wants him to live, and she's willing to die to save him. But. Frosty loves the other slayers. If she hurts his friends, he will hate her. He will hurt.

  What will she do?

  She's released into the wild and rushes to Reeve's house. Cole and Ali want to trust her, but they are skeptical. Though I'm due in court soon, I appear in the kitchen of Reeve's house, where the couple is discussing their very limited options.

  "I think she's wearing a hidden camera," Ali said, chewing on her bottom lip.

  "She is," I announce. "But I can talk to her. The camera won't detect me. I'm a spirit."

  Ali presses her ha
nds together, forming a steeple. "Yes! Please, talk to her. Help us."

  "Always." Wasting no time, I appear in front of Milla and cross my arms over my chest. "Is Rebecca watching you?" I know the truth, of course, but I'm testing her, assuring myself she's here to do the right thing.

  She offers a barely discernable nod, and I want to hug the crap out of her.

  "Is she planning an ambush?" I was able to watch the people of Anima while Milla was there, because I've been authorized to aid Milla. But I'm not allowed to watch the people of Anima without one of my people present. I don't have clearance.

  Although... Frosty is there. He's with Anima. In theory, I should be able to appear to him. I should be able to listen in to any conversation about Anima's plans. Unless the courts are stopping me for some reason?

  Milla offers another nod, and I return to Cole and Ali, confirming their fears. Cole curses.

  Ali scrubs a hand down her face. "What are we going to do?"

  Smiling, I rub my hands together. "Gather everyone in the gym so I can talk to you all at once. Then... let me work my magic." I return to Milla. "Okay. Everyone's gathered in the gym. Let's see if we can figure this out."

  She walks into the bathroom, grabs a bottle of Advil, and swallows two little pills.

  Is this a sign? "Headache?" I ask.

  A shake of her head.

  So, yes, a sign. "Advil... medicine... drug! You're supposed to drug everyone?"

  After she moves away from the mirror, she nods.

  "To kill?"

  She gives another barely noticeable shake of her head.

  Okay. If not to kill, then what did Anima intend for her to do? "To make everyone sick?"

  Another shake.

  What else, what else? "Sleep?"

  Ding, ding, ding. She nods.

  So. She's supposed to put everyone to sleep. But why not kill everyone outright?

  As if she hears my unasked question, she paces back and forth in front of her desk and traces her finger over her cell phone.

  Another sign? "Is the phone significant?"

  A nod.

  Think, think. Only one reason makes sense. "You're supposed to call Rebecca? After everyone's asleep?"

  Another nod.

  Well. Anima demanded Milla kill the slayers but also demanded she let everyone live? I don't understand. "When?" Before or after everyone is asleep? "Why?"

  She lies on the bed and closes her eyes.

  "When everyone is asleep?" I ask.

  A nod.

  Okay. I know when, but not why. Why must be too difficult to convey. "I'll be back."

  I materialize in the gym. All the slayers and their significant others are present and seated on the bleachers, as requested. The dark-haired Reeve and her green-haired boyfriend Bronx. The blond Gavin and his on-again, off-again girlfriend Jaclyn. Jaclyn's twin brother Justin. The rough, tough Chance and delicate-looking Mac Love. Even River is here.

  I avoid looking in his direction as I explain the situation.

  He refuses to remain in the periphery and voices the same questions I raised earlier. "Either they don't really believe Milla has the stones to kill us and lied to her about the drug they gave her, or they want some of us alive and plan to murder the rest of us when the keepers are culled from the targets. They're watching her, so they'll know whether or not she doses us. Whether or not they should strike at her too."

  Avoidance doesn't work. I look. His desire to rescue his sister is clear. A muscle jumps beneath his eye. He's tense but also vibrating with rage. His hands clutch his knees, his knuckles white. He wants to be her shield, and the knowledge warms me to the core.

  "I'll be back," I tell the slayers. My gaze meets River's, and my breath hitches as the gym vanishes and... an alley appears. A brick building at each side, graffiti on the walls, trash on the ground. Emma is peering through a dirty window. "Why are you here?" Obviously she's searching for a way to help the slayers, but...here? Seriously?

  She gasps, her little hand pressed against her chest. "I'm on the lookout for Frosty the old fashioned way because I lost a case," she says with a frown. "Anima won a third chance for their leader, citing our victories with Frosty and Milla. I reminded the court our friends had only received a second chance, but Anima argued neither Frosty nor Milla could be granted a third chance, if needed, if I pursued the case. I dropped out. But why are you here?"

  Darling girl. No wonder I love her. "I came to ask if you'd won us any cool, new perks. Just...keep searching. I'm working with Milla to learn what we can."

  I return to Milla's bedroom. She's still on the bed.

  "We're trying to figure out a way to give Rebecca what she wants without actually giving her what she wants," I say.

  She rolls her eyes, sighs. Yeah, yeah. I stated the obvious. So what? In times like this, no detail is too small to share.

  "Emma is searching for Frosty, but so far no luck." I sit on the edge of the bed, feel the tension radiating from her and offer her a momentary reprieve. "You've been good for him, you know. And I think he's been good for you too. Your eyes light up every time you look at him."

  Surprise registers on her features.

  "Do you love him?" I ask.

  For a moment, her gaze is faraway, as if she's returned to Frosty. A tear leaks from the corner of her eye, and I smile. She does. She loves him.

  "Good," I say.

  Her eyes widen, surprise deepening into shock.

  "Love always finds a way." More determined than ever, I stand. "We're going to figure this out, don't worry. We won't let Frosty die." Or anyone else, for that matter.

  Thank you, she mouths.

  I reach out to pat her hand but ghost through her. A plan begins to form in my mind. "In about five minutes," I say, because I'll need time to convince the others to do what I want, "Ali's going to come in and ask if you're up to cooking dinner for everyone. You'll say yes, and you'll let Rebecca watch you pour the sedative, or whatever it is, into a pitcher of sweet tea. Ali will carry the pitcher out of the kitchen to fill the cups at the dining table, but as soon as she's out of range, she'll exchange it for an untainted one. While you eat, everyone will discuss what to do about the situation. Nothing they say will be true. As soon as we've got a real plan worked out, I'll let you know."

  Things quickly go from bad to Lord help us all.

  Milla has a small baggie of powder--poison--sewed to the inside of her pants. She "secretly" dumps that powder into the pitcher of tea. Ali takes the pitcher and fixes everyone a drink. After the slayers pretend to fall asleep, Milla calls Anima. Well, the leader of Anima anyway. Rebecca Smith.

  Two men in black arrive at the house, and they shoot everyone in the head. Or rather, they think they shoot everyone in the head. They shoot pillows and wigs. The only slayers they leave "alive" are Ali and Milla.

  The men drive Ali and Milla to a lab downtown... and yes, Frosty is there. I alert Emma and then the slayers, who are planning to ambush Rebecca. I want to help, I'm desperate to help, but I'm due in court for a case I requested. Problem is, I still don't know what I want to fight for. If I miss the hearing, I can't request another case for a year.

  Emma accompanies me, intending to speak on my behalf if anyone tries to shame me for my past actions. By the time we're seated behind the bench, I've finally figured out what I'm going to request: Milla's life. I know, I know. The court doesn't decide who lives or dies, but there is a loophole. The third chance Anima insisted on giving Rebecca.

  Milla should be given a third chance as well. She can decide to live again, and no spiritual rules will be broken.

  "Your Honor," Lawrence says after I've made my case. Yep, I'm up against that quackball again. "Miss Marks is dying right now."

  "What!" The word explodes from me, and Jay, my advocate, reaches over to squeeze my hand in comfort.

  I can't be comforted about this. Milla was shot, probably by Rebecca. When Milla takes her final breath, she will appear in the holding zone. Onc
e she passes the gate, her life is over, done; there will be no returning to the land of the living.

  "She knew the consequences of saving Mr. Martin, but she did it anyway," Lawrence adds.

  "She gave up her life to save another," I shout. "What the first slayer, my generous benefactor, did for me--for all slayers and witnesses. If that isn't grounds for a third chance, I don't know what is. I mean, come on. Milla put love before hate. Can you truly claim Rebecca Smith has ever done the same?"

  "Motives do not matter," he grates. "Actions do. You've said so many times. Rebecca fought to live. Miss Marks chose to die."

  He's using my words against me! "She chose to save a life," I reply. "If given the chance, she will choose to stay with Frosty. I mean, Mr. Martin. She just needs another-- What? Say it with me. Another chance."

  "You change your tune to suit your needs. You can't--"

  "Enough. No one has changed their tune," the Supreme Judge says. "Least of all me. Miss Smith received a third chance, and Miss Marks will as well." His gaze lands on me. "If it's not too late."

  Relief and urgency collide. I zoom to the gate--the empty gate. Praise the Lord, there's still--

  Milla appears in front of the pearl gate and does what I did: gawks at the beauty around her. On Earth, her body is dead. A body cannot live without the spirit inside. That body will soon begin to decay.

  She can finish gawking the next time she dies. Time for her to go!

  "The journal!" Emma shouts as she rushes toward us. "Remember the journal!"

  "I won my case, Milla Marks," I say. Go ahead and pat me on the back. "You're going back." I shove her with all my strength. Spirit meets spirit, and she falls. Returning to Earth... to her body. Relief is a cool, soothing tide inside me.

  "The journal," Emma pants a final time. She reaches my side.

  "Ali's journal?" I ask Emma. Her however-many-greats-grandfather was a slayer who'd seen into the far distant future, and he'd left instructions for all generations.

  A passage opens up in my mind. Two fires burn. The light and the dark. One purifies, one destroys, and the two never coexist in harmony. One is truth, and one is lies, lies, the darkness lies. But it's not too strong, never too strong, for light cannot be extinguished by dark, only covered, covered, covered, but dark can always be chased away by light. Look inside... Look inside.