My Fate for Yours

by Steph Campbell

  She blinks a few times. “Eamon?” she whispers.

  “What the hell happened?”

  “We’re dealing with this, sir.”

  “Do you have the guy?” I ask as I reach for her feet because if they don’t, I’m going to find him and kill him.

  “Sir.” A cop lays a hand on my arm.

  “He’s fine,” Rachel whispers and I shrug off his hand.

  “The suspect is in custody,” one of the cops says.

  Everything in me crashes.

  “A neighbor heard her scream, and called 911 at about the same time as Ms. Adair’s friend. The good news is that we were able to apprehend the attacker,” a female cop says. “Don’t touch her unless she asks.”

  Panic rushes through me again. “What’s wrong? Is she okay?”

  The woman gives me this weird look and a sympathetic pat as the EMTs stand, pulling Rachel up with them.

  “Rach.” I reach for her hand and she takes it.

  “This is all very dramatic. Aside from being dizzy, I’m okay,” Rachel says.

  “Bullshit.” I give her fingers a squeeze as I walk with her toward the ambulance.

  The cop frowns. “We’re taking her to the hospital. You’re welcome to meet us there.”

  And then she’s in and the ambulance doors close. I sprint to my bike, not giving a shit that my helmet’s back at the porch.

  ***

  I can’t stop pacing the hallway at the hospital. Everything in me is ramped up in anger. I wanna tear that guy apart. I want to crush Rachel to my chest and never let her leave my sight. How can people love someone? The panic that must be there every moment of every day that something might happen to them, the fear of losing them, of them walking away…

  “Eamon,” Tobin calls from down the hallway before gesturing with his head.

  Kelly, Leslie, and Rachel’s mom come around the corner, so I feel like I can leave if I need to. I’m so fucking torn. I want to stand guard at her door. I want to hold her every second she’ll let me. And I want to figure out who this guy is so we can destroy him.

  I give the girls a nod as I head for Tobin.

  “Wait.” Leslie grabs my arm. “Is she okay? Can we see her?”

  I shake my head. They’re doing an exam. To see what he did to her while she was unconscious. My stomach balls up. I can’t speak the words.

  Pushing past their shocked faces I move around the corner.

  “You okay?” Tobin asks.

  “No. No I’m not fucking okay. I gotta know who—”

  Tobin gives me a knowing smirk.

  I grasp his shoulders. “What do you know?”

  “Talked to Nelson. He’s Avery Walken, some handyman who’s suspected in a dozen thefts, but they can’t pin him with any of them. He’s being arraigned tomorrow. His parents have cash, so he’ll probably get out on bail, but they obviously don’t help him pay the bills.”

  “Tomorrow?” I amp up at the possibility of getting my hands on him and then relax because I have hours. Most of the night left.

  Tobin grabs my shoulder. “Are you okay, E? For real?”

  I shake my head. “I’d be pissed no matter which of our girls some asshole touched, but...” it’s her. I can’t tell him how I feel because I can’t make sense of it.

  Tobin claps me on the back. “We’ll get him. Don’t worry.”

  “Eamon LeJeune?” A nurse steps around the corner. “Rachel’s done and asking to see you.”

  Tobin nods, and I turn to follow the woman back to Rachel. Her mom, Leslie and Kelly all give me a strange look as I pass them, but right now it doesn’t matter. And I might be a bit of an asshole because their confusion means that Rachel hasn’t said anything about us, and I feel some relief.

  The second I step in the room, I freeze. The side of her face is a little swollen, but she looks okay. Not broken. I don’t think.

  “Don’t look at me like that.” Rachel gives me a small smile. “I’ve seen you in way worse shape.”

  I practically run to the side of the bed, the one without the IV. Why does she need an IV? What happened? “Are you okay?”

  “You must have ridden so fast…”

  “Not fast enough. Fuck, Rachel. I could have done the damn gutters.”

  “Next time, I promise.” Even now she’s trying to tease.

  “Did he…” But I stop. I don’t know if I want to know how far it went before help got there. My stomach seizes up and threatens to relieve me of everything I’ve eaten today.

  She shakes her head and then winces, balling my hands into fists that someone did this to her. “You taught me better than that.”

  “I can’t… I can’t…” I’m holding her hand with one of mine and stroking it with the other.

  Rachel blinks a few times as tears start sliding down her cheeks. “I thought I was going to die, Eamon. And all I could think was that I’d missed out on you.”

  I hate that even now her words terrify me, but not enough for me to walk away.

  “Rach…” My voice breaks as I try to carefully wipe her tears with my calloused hands. “I’m here, okay?”

  “Yeah. I know.” She gives me a weak smile. “You know why I think you don’t mind getting hurt?”

  “Why?” She’s so fucking brave right now.

  “Because the drugs are really good.” Her blinks slow down.

  “I’m here, Rach. Okay? You sleep.”

  I want to tell her everything. How scared I am. How I hate that I’m scared because it’s her. How much I think maybe she’s the thing I want to add into my life. The thing I want to tie myself to. Instead I walk out of the room to stand watch in the hallway. I just don’t know how to sit still right now.

  24

  Rachel

  My girlfriends are absorbed in the movie in my room, but I’m out of bed checking the windows again. The doors. Peering through the curtains to see if anyone’s out there. The fear that rakes up my spine when I touch each of the locks is a hard thing to reconcile.

  Eamon’s Jeep stops at the end of the drive, and more than relief to see him is the relief in knowing when he knocks, I’ll know who it is. My heart skips a few times as I think about answering a door, not knowing who’s on the other side. This is so different for me that I’m not sure how to process.

  As soon as Eamon’s close, I pull open the door. “Hey,” I say. I open the door just enough to talk through a small crack. It’s been days since I’ve seen Eamon. They only kept me in the hospital overnight just in case I had a concussion, but I haven’t been up to visitors. Especially ones that make my head spin more than the asshole that attacked me.

  “Hey.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “Sorry for coming by so late without calling, I was just on my way home and--”

  I let a small laugh escape from my lips. “Eamon, you live the opposite direction.”

  “Fine, make me say it.” He gives me a tentative smile. “I came to check on you. Can I come in?”

  I glance over my shoulder into the dimly lit house, then step outside and close the door behind me knowing he won’t want them to know he’s here. Eamon’s features contort into a look of confusion and worry.

  “I’d like that. It’s just...I’ve got a few friends over and--”

  “Friends?” Eamon asks. His lips pull together in an uncharacteristic, insecure way.

  “Kelly, Leslie, Ava...you know, girlfriends?” I say. “They’ve been crashing here.”

  “Oh, right. Like a slumber party? Are you girls going to have a pillow fight?” he asks, raising a coy eyebrow. “And if so, can I watch?”

  “You’re a mess,” I say. I laugh again and it feels good to do it. Not only because things are still confusing with Eamon and it’s nice to just let go and feel normal with him, but also because things have been stressful at home for me since the attack. I guess the only thing that makes it a little easier is that at least it wasn’t in our own house. I can’t imagine staying here if it had been; as it is, I don’t
know when I’ll ever go back to Arnaud’s place. I can’t sleep even more than usual because I’m up checking and re-checking locks all night long--even though I do it a million times before bed. “Maybe some other time?”

  “No, you’re right. I’m glad you’re okay,” he says with a nervous nod.

  “Yeah, me too.” It’s not the first time I’ve been knocked unconscious, but the only other time was falling off my dirt bike, not at the hands of some lunatic. My biggest fear was what he may have done to me while I was out, but apparently, even though he acted creepy, he was more interested in casing the house for things he could fence rather than me, thank god. Or the cops just got there a lot faster than I’d have guessed they could.

  Eamon leans in and kisses my cheek, swirling possibilities through my brain. “Can I see you soon?”

  “I’ve got one more day off tomorrow before I’ve got to get back to reality. We can meet up somewhere.” Hope swells in my chest again, and at the same time I’m praying he doesn’t let me down.

  Eamon nods. “What about out at the lake? Tomorrow night?”

  “See you then.” I start to step back when Eamon gives my cheek another kiss. Before we got mixed up, I’d have jumped right into his arms tonight and gone wherever he asked. It just feels like I need to be more careful now.

  I slip back inside to enjoy the rest of my girl’s night. I don't get many of these. It’s supposed to help me relax; instead, it just ties my stomach in knots because I can’t share anything of Eamon with my friends, and because I so desperately want things with him to work out this time.

  25

  Eamon

  “Eamon, you got a minute?” Jerry says, leaning over my shoulder.

  “Sure thing, boss,” I say. I put up my torch and follow Jerry to his office. I know what he’s looking for. An answer. And I don’t have it for him. Not right now. As soon as the door shuts behind me, I open my mouth to tell him so but my phone in my pocket is ringing.

  Jerry rolls his eyes. “Just get that, and then we’ll talk. You’ll never pay any attention to me if you’re too busy wondering which one of your birds was on the other end of that call.”

  I smile and pull the phone from my pocket. TOBIN. I start to drop the phone back into my shirt pocket, but something doesn’t feel right. Tobin should be on his way into work, and he knows I’m still here. So, why is he calling in the middle of the day?

  I hold up a finger to tell Jerry I’ll be just a second, step out of his office and answer the phone.

  “Tobe, you okay man?” I ask.

  “I will be if you come bail me out. You’re my one phone call bro,” he says. He doesn’t sound panicked, he almost sounds...amused. I don’t ask what he’s done, because he sounds okay and shit that’s all that really matters, right? I hang up, grab my keys and let Jerry know I’ll be back at some point to continue our talk. Something about the look he gives me tells me he may be second guessing his decision to offer me a buy-in with the company, and I can’t say I’m all that broken up about it.

  ***

  “Thanks for bailing me out.” Tobin runs a hand through his hair, and he’s actually smiling. A real one.

  “Eh, what the hell else am I going to do with my money?” I say with a laugh. “Glad you caught me, though. Mama doesn’t need to know about this, especially it sounds like they won’t be prosecuting.

  “Yep, since I was traumatized over my friend’s attack and all that.” He smirks like he worked the system exactly how he wanted to.

  I give him a half eye roll. “Right.”

  “I guess I’m pretty lucky about that. Last thing I need is a record if I’m looking to win back-”

  I cut my eyes sideways at him as I pull out of the police station parking lot.

  “Tobin, I swear to Christ, you’ve got to let that girl go,” I say. I shake my head back and forth. “If I’d have known you were still pining away for her, I’d have let your ass rot in there.”

  “I’m not pining. I’m kidding. Mostly. Besides, you ought to be thanking me for what I did. You said you wanted that asshole brought down, and I took care of it. You even got to keep your pretty little hands clean.” He sits back in his seat and rests an ankle on his knee. Smug. “Least you could do is take me by Carl’s and buy me a beer.”

  He’s right. The guy that attacked Rachel got out on bond today. Tobin happened to be picking up lunch at Missy’s diner where he was eating lunch with his lawyer, bragging about how he’d never spend another day in jail. Family money was going to bail him out. Tobin gambled that his family money--mine that is, would bail him out, too.

  He made a safe bet.

  Even if I didn’t have the money sitting around, I’d have found a way to get it. Doesn’t matter what Tobin does, he’s my brother and I’ll always have his back.

  His lawyer left first and then Tobin followed the asshole out and gave him a pounding he won’t soon forget. My brother may be stupid in the head for Delia Gentry, but dammit, he’s one of the most loyal people you’ll ever meet. He did that for Rachel, because that’s what you do when someone hurts a woman. He did that because she’s important to our family--even if he doesn’t know how important she is to me.

  “You did good, bro. I think that deserves a beer or two,” I say. I’m supposed to meet Rachel in thirty minutes, but I’ll have to be a little late. If I don’t take Tobin out, not only will be a shitty older brother, but he’ll ask why and where I’m going, and like hell I’m going to tell him.

  ***

  When I finally get out to the lake, Rachel is sitting on the dock, her feet dangling down into the dark water. She has to hear me nearby, but she doesn’t look up. My gut sinks a little as I wonder just how late I am.

  “You’re late,” she says, swatting a mosquito away from her face. She doesn’t bother hiding the annoyance in her voice, so I try to counteract it with charm.

  “A little,” I say.

  “A lot,” she mumbles, not amused. “For the record, I’m not super thrilled about hanging out in the dark alone, you know.”

  She doesn’t have to finish her thought for me to understand. She’s scared. Dammit.

  “I’m so sorry, Rach,” I say. I rush up behind her, kneel down and wrap my arms around her waist. I pull her in close to me and kiss her temple. “I am so damn sorry for not being there...here.” I should have been both places. Wherever, whenever she needed me to protect her. What the hell else am I good for?

  “Where were you?” she asks. “Never mind. You don’t owe me any answers.” I should tell her, but I don’t want to darken the night anymore. I don’t want to bring back anymore memories of the attack by telling her I was bailing Tobin out of jail. I just want to make her feel better. I want to make her feel safe.

  “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” I kiss her head again, feeling almost desperate to be as close to her as possible. “Dinner tomorrow night?”

  “I have to work,” she says.

  “Before that. Early dinner. Let me take you out. It’ll be a nice change.” I wrap my arms more tightly around her, loving the way her small, strong body feels in my arms.

  “Somewhere hidden away, or somewhere in town?” she asks.

  I don’t know the answer to that. I don’t know if I’m ready to have everyone at town looking at Rachel with pity in their eyes that she got suckered into being with me. They’ll think she’s lost her mind, and her morals. They’ll all look at her like she’s a notch on my belt, and dammit she’s not. I don’t want people to talk. I don’t want to risk the chance that someday, she might start believing what they’ll all say.

  “Come on,” I say. I stand up and hold out a hand as I hold my breath hoping to god she’ll reach out and take it. Because suddenly, I can’t imagine us not okay.

  26

  Rachel

  “What?” I ask, staring at his outstretched palm. But I stand anyway, brushing off my cotton shorts.

  “Do you want to dance?” Eamon asks.

  I cock
my head to the side, confused. “You been drinking, LeJeune? There isn’t any music.”

  “Never stopped you before.” Eamon smiles that familiar cheeseball smile back at me. “Besides, I think I know a song you may like.”

  I reach out and clutch onto his hand and he tugs me into him as close as he can. I’ve missed the feeling of him holding me, even if he isn’t mine to miss. Eamon dips his head down so that his mouth is next to my ear and starts to hum.

  It’s the song from the bar the night that we kissed. The song playing on the jukebox. He hums the song softly as we move together, barefoot on the dock.

  The last few weeks replay in my mind with every step we take together. Every stolen kiss. Every argument. Every furtive glance from across the room.

  “This--” I choke out, not sure I should finish my thought.

  “What? Do you want me to stop?” Eamon asks.

  I shake my head and use the back of my hand to wipe away the tears that I don’t want him to see.

  “You know how when something is so incredibly good, people always say it’s too good to be true? Or when it’s bad, they say that it can’t possibly be real?”

  Eamon nods slowly.

  “This is real, right? Right now?” My fingers trace patterns on his shoulders as I nervously wait for his answer.

  Eamon puts the back of his hand against my chest, immediately calming me, and covering my heart as we sway to the music that isn’t there. He nods.

  “I think those extremes, those intense highs and lows--those are when things are the most real,” he says. And I really believe that he understands. He may not be talking about relationships, but he understands in his own way. I think he finally made me see why he does the reckless things he does.

  I let out a nervous laugh. “I didn’t think you had it in you, LeJeune.”

  “Had what?” he asks, grinning just as wide.

  “Romance. I didn’t think you had a romantic bone in that gorgeous body. But wow...this...this is a side of you I could get used to.” I immediately tense up, wondering if I’ve gone too far, said too much and am going to kill this beautiful moment that’s bubbling between us.