Silent Sins: A Lotus House Novel: Book Five

by Audrey Carlan

  “Hello, class, and welcome to Vinyasa Flow. I’m Gracie Salerno, and I’ll be your teacher today.” A young woman’s voice breaks through the staredown Nick and I are having. I glance to the front podium and see a startlingly attractive young woman who can’t be more than a few years my junior.

  Salerno. That’s Nick’s last name. I take in her more petite form, long black hair tied in a braid down her back, and gray-blue eyes. She smiles widely and tells us she’d like us to start in child’s pose. I have no idea what that is and glance around, trying to figure it out.

  “Sit back on your heels and then spread your knees apart, leaving room for your chest and belly to lie in between them. Then place your forehead on the ground and your arms either stretched out in front of you or behind you at your sides. Whatever’s most comfortable,” Nick instructs.

  I watch Nick as he repeats what he’s told me and gets into position. I do the same and lift my face just enough to make sure my body looks like his. When I do, he’s looking at me too. I smile, unable to help the natural response he brings out of me.

  “That’s all I wanted. I hadn’t seen you smile. Fucking beautiful.” He winks. “Now pay attention or my baby sister is going to be mad at me for hitting on her clients,” he whispers before placing his forehead back on the mat.

  Not wanting to make his sister mad either, I place my forehead on the mat.

  “We’re going to breathe here for ten long breaths. During that time, think about what you want to get from today’s practice. Focus on giving this time to yourself. It’s for you. It’s about you. Breathe it all in,” Grace urges. I can hear her feet padding around each client doing something, but I’m not sure what until I feel her over me.

  “Good.” She places her hand on my sacrum, firmly pushing my hips deeper into the stretch. Then she runs her hand up my spine, which has the sensation of her taking the negative energy right out of my body and flinging it away. “Breathe in deeply, and exhaaaaaalllleeee.” She drags out the word while pressing up my spine toward my neck. With each motion, I am lighter, more focused. She rubs at my neck, and I swear to God, I could fall asleep. It’s the most relaxed I’ve been in a long time. Before I get too comfortable, she moves on to the next person.

  “Now I’m going to have you press up into table and go into your cat and cow transitions, pairing them with your breathing.”

  Surprisingly, she doesn’t do the pose in front of the class, but everyone seems to know what to do. Everyone but me. How’s that possible?

  As if I said the question out loud, Nick speaks up. “Most people who take Vinyasa Flow have already taken the beginners’ classes or other restorative type classes. You, on the other hand, just seem to jump right in.”

  I frown and watch as his body shifts up into a position that looks like a scared black cat on Halloween. Then he drops his belly down and arcs his spine, lifting his head up.

  “Follow my movements, and I’ll instruct you while you learn. Okay?”

  I do as he says and pair my movements to his. He makes it look really easy, as though he’s a born teacher or leader. As I get into sync with him, I realize I’m actually doing the class, and it’s not easy, but it’s not so hard I wouldn’t come back. My muscles are straining while I hold a crazy position they call one-legged dog. Apparently, you start in a downward facing dog, which is essentially a triangle shape with your body, and then you pop one leg up to the sky. You then balance on your hands and one foot.

  “Flex those feet, really press into the heel to get maximum length. You want to feel that energy pumping through your body and out that limb,” Grace calls out. “Now flip your dog!” she says excitedly, and I about lose it, fumbling and swaying precariously close to eating my yoga mat.

  Before I smash into said mat, Nick has jumped up and is holding me aloft, helping me twist my body the appropriate way. He grasps my hips, making sure I don’t reach the ground or hurt myself.

  “When you flip, you use the foot in the air as your momentum to turn over. Then both feet are on the ground, and the opposite arm goes up toward the sky.”

  He positions me the way he wants, putting his hands all over my body. It’s the most I’ve been touched by another human in as long as I can remember. Everywhere he touches becomes hot, like he’s branding me as his.

  Grace takes us through so many positions I lose count and focus, only capable of moving alongside Nick, parroting each pose to the best of my ability.

  Eventually, she brings us back down to the mat to lie flat on our backs for Savasana. I crinkle my nose and look around at the other students all happily lying down and closing their eyes.

  “Pssstttt. Nick,” I whisper, not wanting to bother the other patrons.

  He opens his eyes, and I lose myself in them. They are so pretty, like the infinity pools at one of my parents’ five-star resorts.

  “What is it, Dove?”

  “I don’t know what this is?”

  He grins. “Deep relaxation. We did it in aerial, but you had a…moment and didn’t get into enough of it. This time, you lie flat on your back and allow yourself to drift off. It’s awesome. I promise. Trust me.”

  “I trust you, Nick,” I say, not believing I just admitted giving someone else my trust. But as Dr. Hart says, I have to let people in. I have to give of myself if I want to get in return.

  “Then lie back and enjoy the ride.”

  Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and let Grace’s sweet voice lull me into a state of mental bliss. When she brings us back out of it, the rest of the class quickly wraps up their stuff, rolls their mats, and skedaddles. It’s like ants scurrying away from a glob of candy melting on the ground. They’ve gotten their fill, and they need to take their piece back to the colony.

  Me, I’m sluggish, the class having put me through my paces, proving I need far more exercise than once a week—more like three or four days. Mentally, it relaxed me. Put me in a state of ease and, dare I say, serenity.

  Nick comes up behind me and places a hand on my shoulder. “You blissed out?”

  I offer a small smile. His easygoing personality is infectious and his need to touch disarming.

  “Yeah. Really good class.”

  He jerks his head back. “Better than mine?”

  This time I give him a full grin. “Different.”

  “I like different,” he quips.

  “Do you really?” I ask, needing to hear from his lips that he’s not like other men, although I don’t think he could ever be. Nick seems to have such a sense of confidence and self-worth. It oozes from every pore in his beautiful body.

  Nick tugs up his track pants. “Yeah, I do. You’re different, Dove. And I like it.”

  “You don’t know anything about me.”

  “Your body language speaks for itself. Besides, that’s why we’re going out on Friday after class,” he declares as if I’ve already acquiesced.

  Zipping up my hoodie, I look down at my pale-pink painted toenails. “As in a date among friends?”

  He comes closer, invading my space with his large frame and magnetic warmth. “Do I look like the type of man who takes a beautiful woman out on a date as a friend?”

  I lick my lips and focus on his face. His jaw is firm and curved with a dark goatee and mustache, both perfectly matching the hair on his head. His facial hair is trimmed close and looks more like the heavy growth after a weeklong absence from shaving. On a scale of one to ten, his sexiness is a hundred and five. For a second, I lose my head and imagine what it might feel like to have that hair rubbing against softer and more sensitive places, like my neck, between my breasts…my thighs.

  Nick offers the most sultry grin I’ve seen on him yet. “Where did you just go while staring at me and ignoring my question?”

  Ignoring his question. What was it? Oh yeah, about dating a friend.

  “Um…I don’t know what you do with your friends.”

  “Doesn’t matter, because you are not my friend. You are the beauti
ful woman I’m taking on a date Friday night. A date between a man and a woman. A man who’s interested in talking, touching, and kissing the woman standing in front of him.”

  Sweet heavens! His words slam into me like a punch of lust to the chest. “My, you’re forward.” I gasp and widen my eyes, realizing what I just blurted.

  He grins. “Get used to it, babe. There’s a lot more where that came from. I say what’s on my mind. I don’t believe in lies or bullshitting. I like you. You’re fucking beautiful. I want to take you out. Break bread. Nothing more to say to that other than yes.”

  “Yes?” I question, but he doesn’t take it that way.

  “Great. See you Friday for aerial. We can freshen up here and get ready. Bring a jacket. You’ll need it.”

  “Uh, okay, but I didn’t mean to say…”

  He pulls on his tank, covering his succulent body. Shame.

  “You didn’t mean to say what? Yes? Too bad. I can see you’re into me, Dove. Not gonna let you fly away this time.”

  “But…”

  “Speaking of, give me your phone.”

  I blink a few times, having no idea where he’s going with this.

  “Your phone, babe.” He opens his palm and wiggles his fingers in an impatient gimmie gesture.

  I fumble through my bag for my phone. He grabs it right away and inputs a series of numbers. I hear a phone go off and see his phone’s display light up on the floor near his sweatshirt, with my cell phone numbers glaring in white against the blue background. Goodness he’s quick.

  “Now I’ve got your number, and you’ve got mine. Let’s touch base before class, yeah?”

  “Um…” I don’t know what to say, so I just nod.

  He laughs, wraps his hand around my nape, and pulls me flat against his chest. The scents of citrus and leather curl around his sweaty form. He smells so good, I want to breathe him in all day. All too soon his lips go to my forehead, where he lays a long press before pulling back.

  “I’d kiss those sexy-as-sin lips, but I fear you’d fly away.” Nick smirks and pulls back. “Later, babe. Friday.” He motions with a wave of his fingers while heading toward the door.

  I’m left behind with my bare toes digging into the rubber of the yoga mat, wondering what the heck just happened.

  “Soooooo, you’re going on a date with my brother!” The woman behind me squeals like a little girl and claps her hands. She has a bounce in her step when she embraces me into a God’s honest hug.

  I allow the girl to hug me and ease my arm around her to pat her on the back. Last hug I had from a woman was my nanny before I left for college eight years ago.

  Grace bumbles around the riser with endless energy. “Do you have time for a coffee at Sunflower?”

  “What’s Sunflower?” I ask, trying to keep up with this ball of enthusiasm.

  She stops where she stands, holding her hoodie. “Seriously? You’ve never been to Sunflower? Well, I’m going to change that right now! This is great. I get to introduce you to Sunflower and the gang that will be there. You’re dating my brother. This is awesome. Wait until Mom finds out! She will just die. And you’re so pretty! Do you happen to be Italian? Even one percent counts with Ma.” Grace explodes with her battery of questions.

  “Oh my, what have I gotten myself into?” I sigh as Grace loops her arm through mine.

  “We’re going to be the best of friends. I can just feel it already!”

  Chapter Six

  Tree Pose (Sanskrit: Vrksasana)

  Tree pose is a beginning yoga pose in all classes including aerial yoga. It may seem a bit harder when you are several feet off the floor, but the positioning of the body is still the same. One foot is balancing flat against the silks. One knee is bent with the sole of the foot pressed into the opposite leg (not the knee). As you can see in the picture, one arm wraps around the silks and the other stays behind the silks, for additional balance. The hands rest at heart center keeping the energy flowing through the body.

  HONOR

  “I can’t believe you’ve never been to Sunflower. It’s right next to the yoga studio, and they have the best…the best lattes and treats. You’re going to just die they’re so good!” Grace smiles widely as she pulls open the door of the bakery.

  The scents of fresh baked bread and cinnamon rolls billow in the air. My mouth waters, and I’m reminded I haven’t eaten anything since the granola bar I had before class. “Smells divine.”

  Grace nods excitedly, her eyes bright and shining. “Hi, guys!” She gets into the long line while waving over to a table where two older women sit alongside a handsome man with dirty-blond hair as well as a lovely brunette wearing a pair of medical scrubs. The male is holding the brunette’s hand on his thigh.

  I wonder how nice it would be to have someone’s affection like that. A man who wanted to hold my hand while having an outing with friends. I try not to stare and instead concentrate on the displays of sinful delights to choose from.

  Grace nudges my shoulder and lowers her voice. “The redhead is Jewel Marigold, and the blonde with big blue eyes is Crystal Nightingale. The two of them are the yoga gurus of Lotus House and the co-owners. The blond hottie is Dash Alexander. He teaches tantric yoga and all the couples yoga classes, often with his wife, Dr. Amber Alexander. She’s a resident at UCSF Medical Center. Word is they are going to try to get pregnant soon! Eeek!” She squeals into my ear at a lower decibel than her normal high volume but enough to have me veering away to protect my eardrum.

  I shake my head. The level of excitement in this young woman is incredible. Her love of life in general is commendable. I’m not sure a person could be around Grace for long and not be filled with glee and jubilation. It surrounds her like a golden bubble of light.

  “Are you excited about going on a date with my brother?” She blinks sweetly, changing the subject so fast I get whiplash.

  “I guess so.”

  A little scowl forms on her face, and it’s basically the equivalent of smacking a puppy. Not a pretty sight, but again, it changes within a second as we make our way to the front of the line and are greeted by the same woman who signed me up as a member at Lotus House.

  I blink a couple times and stare at her name card. Dara. Yes, that’s the same name.

  “Hi, Gracie. What’s shakin’ baby?” She nods my way. “Made a new friend, I see.”

  Grace puts her arm around my shoulders and tucks me close, as if we are long-lost sisters separated at birth. “Totally! She’s Nick’s new squeeze.” She uses some jive talk I understand but would never utter myself.

  “Really?” Dara’s Caribbean-blue eyes widen nearly to the size of the stunning cupcakes sitting on the lower level of the display.

  Hadn’t seen those when I walked in. Maybe I want one of those instead of the cinnamon roll. Hmmm.

  “Uh-huh. He’s taking her out on a date on Friday.”

  Note to self: do not say anything to Grace you don’t want repeated and printed in the San Francisco Chronicle.

  “You’re taming the wild man, eh?” Dara says to me.

  I shrug, not really knowing how to respond, so I settle on redirection and obfuscation. “Not really. It’s not a big deal. He just asked me out.”

  Dara puts a hand to her hip and cocks one side out, showing some serious cool-girl attitude. I don’t know what to make of it. “Did you not know that Nick doesn’t date clients at Lotus House?”

  I pucker my lips and shrug again. It really isn’t my business whom he dates.

  “Did you take one of his classes?” she asks.

  “Yes, I took his aerial yoga class last Friday.” Shoot! That reminds me that this Friday, I technically have a blind date my mother set up. Now I also have one with Nick. How in the world did I go from having no dating life to having two in one day?

  “Oh, so you’re not just Grace’s client. You’re Nick’s too? Mmm-hmm, I see what’s happening here,” Dara says with a pout and a chin bob like she’s got it all figured out,
while I have no clue what’s happening between Nick and myself.

  “Which would be what?” I inquire, genuinely wanting to know her take. If the laundry is out drying, might as well let it fly in the breeze.

  “The Italian Stallion took one look at you and saw nothing but light. Same as I see. Only you’re drenched in purple goodness, honey.”

  “Purple what?” I’ve gotten lost somewhere.

  “Your aura, sweet girl. It’s purple with a tinge of light brown. I don’t like seeing the brown there.”

  “Ooookkkaaay. I’m sorry,” I offer, not really knowing what else to say, but I make a mental note to go online and purchase a book on auras from Amazon.

  Dara tips her head back and laughs. Grace does as well.

  “You can’t be sorry for your aura. It is what it is. Just means we’ve got some work to do. You’re not very confident right now in the situation or in where you are in your life. It’s okay. We all have times in our lives where we’re in a state of flux. You’ll find your way.” Dara leans forward conspiratorially. “And if that happens to be in the bed of an Italian man, more power to ya, sista!”

  Pinpricks spark all over my nerve endings with her suggestion. “All righty, then. I’ll have the cinnamon roll and a very strong latte, as well as whatever she’s having.” I point to Grace and pull out a couple of twenties and drop them on the counter.

  “Mmm-hmm. I get you, girl. You’re nervous about the Stallion. I would be, too. He’s a definite catch.” She nods and finally carries on with her work.

  Grace beams. “Thank you, bestie,” she says, breaking up the tension and gesturing to the money on the counter.

  “Least I can do. You taught a great class.”

  Dara gets our items, and I take the tray while Grace bounces over to the table with the foursome she knows. They each give her hugs, smiles, and all of their attention. What I wouldn’t give to be able to feel free and safe in my own skin.

  Grace pops back over and sits in the chair opposite me, her braid swinging along with her enthusiasm.