Silent Sins: A Lotus House Novel: Book Five

by Audrey Carlan

  “Sunday? I’m not sure I understand.” I frown, wondering what’s so important about Sundays.

  Dara grins and winks. “You’ll see. Hey, Nick!” She calls out to the man in question, who must have entered behind me.

  I don’t turn around, still nervous to see him. The air electrifies as warmth closes in on the back of my body. A featherlight touch caresses the side of my cheek from behind, pushing my hair to the side. Nick’s citrus and leather scent invades my senses, and I grip the counter in front of me until my knuckles turn white against the pressure.

  “Dove…” he whispers against my ear.

  I let out the breath I was holding as chills ripple up and down my back. His nearness is intoxicating, making me light-headed.

  “Christ. You smell amazing.” He nuzzles against my neck, and I close my eyes and lean back into him without realizing I’m doing it. My body seems to react on its own, wanting to be closer to him. “Like roses in the spring.” He inhales and exhales, his breath falling warmly against the shell of my ear.

  I tremble against his bulk. He lays one hand on my hip and squeezes. “You look beautiful.”

  “But you can only see me from behind,” I manage through a suddenly dry throat.

  “I know. And it’s a great fucking view.” His hand moves from my hip and boldly cups my right ass cheek, making me squeak. “Been dreaming about this ass for a week. Now get it moving to class. I want you right up front where I can see you.” He firms his hold on my ass, and I have to bite back a moan.

  It’s been so long since a man has touched me in a sexual way, I’m not sure how to handle it, other than to take what he’s offering and be grateful.

  “Got it?” His breath teases the hairs on my nape.

  I nod.

  “Words, Dove. I want your words.” He growls against my neck. The vibration rolls through me like sap dripping down a tree. Slow, fluid, and mesmerizing.

  “Yes, Nick. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” I mumble through the arousal seeping into my bones.

  He hums against my skin, inhales deeply, and squeezes my ass once more before he’s gone.

  “Catch you later, Dara,” he says over my shoulder as if he wasn’t just twirling me into a heady sexual haze, making my mind complete and utter mush.

  Dara bends forward toward the counter, smirks, and places her chin in her open palm. “You are so gone for that boy.”

  She is not wrong. There is absolutely no denying the power Nick’s voice alone holds over me. It hits me like a two-ton truck slamming into a concrete wall.

  I want him.

  For the first time in as long as I can remember, I’ve found something I want with reckless abandon, and his name is Nick Salerno.

  “Yeah,” I mumble and shakily push away from the counter, my legs weak at the knees.

  Dara chuckles. “Go get him, girl. Make that boy your man!” she urges.

  “I don’t… I don’t know how to do that.”

  She cants her head to one side. “From the way I just saw it, you’re already doing it. That man’s aura glows a fiery red the second he lays eyes on you. That’s passion and desire burning bright as the sun, sweet thang. Not a whole lot you need to do.” She shrugs, her blue eyes gleaming a crystal ocean blue. “My suggestion…just keep being you.”

  I take a deep breath and nod, not making eye contact. She doesn’t need to know that I don’t even know what being me looks like. Instead, I head to the door, use my lotus-shaped key card, and enter the hallway heading toward the girls’ locker room. I put away all my stuff and pause at the mirror nearest my locker. My own image greets me.

  Tall, thin frame, long blonde hair curled in the beachy look I learned from watching videos online. I’ve got minimal makeup on, and my gray eyes still look a bit sunken in for my liking. Attempting to be bold, I unzip my hoodie and leave it open. Underneath is a black, cropped, yoga bra-type contraption that has several crisscrossing sections along my back and shoulders. Its halter style gives my larger bust enough support, but it’s long enough that it reaches my last rib, leaving my abdomen completely bare. The pants I’m wearing fit close to the body and have this fold-over, whimsical, multicolor flap that looks like it’s splotched with paint. According to Grace, this is “the shit” and her brother will swallow his tongue when he sees me in it. I took that to mean it looked good on me and promptly bought it. And it’s black.

  I hope he likes black on me as much as he likes it on himself. Feeling stupid, I let out a long breath, zip the hoodie back up, and head to class.

  When I arrive, it’s completely full except for the single hanging yoga hammock in the front. Nick is holding the silks, eyes to the door.

  Breathe. He’s just a man.

  Who am I kidding? Nick is not just a man. He’s an insanely sexy one. A man I’ve not stopped thinking about since I met him. A man I’m going on a date with after class tonight. What have I gotten myself into? He is far out of my league, yet he wants to take me out. I don’t get it.

  Nick holds out the hammock for me as I make my way to the front.

  “Thought you might bail.” He smiles rather shyly.

  I firm my chin and force myself to hold his gaze. “No. I want this.” Correction. I want you, but I keep that bit to myself.

  “Me too. You ready to be taken on an aerial journey?” He rubs his hands together.

  “Yeah.”

  “Good. Let me take you there.” Innuendo is thick in his choice of words as he turns and addresses the entire class. “We’re starting standing tonight. I want you to get settled with the silks low at your back, your legs stretched out in front of you. I’m feeling good tonight…” His gaze catches mine, and he winks.

  My heart pounds out of my chest, and my temperature rises. Before I get situated, I unzip my hoodie and let it fall to the floor near my mat. I turn around, press the silks into my lower back, and stretch out as the rest of the class has.

  When I look back at the front, Nick is staring at me. His eyes bounce from my face to my chest, to my bare abdomen, and down to my painted toes and back up. His jaw firms, and a muscle in his cheek ticks while his eyes run over me like a brand. Nick ups the ante when he yanks up his black T-shirt and tugs it over his head, giving me a front-row seat to the hot male yogi show.

  Again, my temperature spikes, heat nipping at my flesh in places I’d rather not think about for fear I might spontaneously combust. I lick my lips and run my hands up and down the silks above my head, imagining they are Nick’s muscled arms.

  One of his eyebrows rises, and he grins. The bastard knows what he’s doing to me. It’s probably why he chose to put me up front. So he could watch my every reaction to him and his ridiculously beautiful body.

  What Nick doesn’t know is that I’m a professional at not displaying my feelings. I’ll just blank out my emotions and focus on the yoga movements, not on the insanely attractive man on display.

  The only way to play his game is to ignore him.

  “Never let them see you sweat, Honor.”

  It’s what Hannon used to say, and I call up on that sage advice now.

  It works through most of the class…until it doesn’t for Nick.

  Chapter Nine

  Beyond all other chakras, Throat Chakra couples are most likely to experience love at first sight. It’s not uncommon for this chakra couple to know within moments of meeting that they are meant to be together.

  NICHOLAS

  The second Honor’s zip-up sweatshirt comes off and I see her large breasts encased in black, stringy spandex, my dick punches at the front of my loose pants. I have to bite the inside of my cheek—hard—in order to hold back the wood that’s dying to spring to attention.

  Shit. Fuck. Damn.

  Nothing but pearly white skin and a flawless form greet my vision. Everything around her disappears, fades out, until I see nothing but her beautiful body. Honor’s white-blond hair curls enticingly around her face, making me wish I was closer and could push it behi
nd her ear and kiss her silly. Her lips are a glossy pink that I want so badly to taste, I can feel the ache deep in my chest.

  This damn woman.

  Everything about her sets my soul aflame, and I’ve barely scratched the surface of getting to know her. One thing I do know is tonight, it’s going to be hard as hell for me to finish up the evening with just a kiss and a request for a second date. I’m going to have to put myself in serious check or somehow take the edge off first.

  Gritting my teeth, I watch her shimmy her delectable body into the hammock and lean back, matching the class. This position is no better on my little—quickly becoming big—problem. Her chest lifts up toward the ceiling, and she runs her arms up and down the silks. This move has the adverse effect of me envisioning her running those same small hands up and down the length of my cock. Preferably not now but when we were alone. The location be damned. If it were just the two of us in this room, I’d sit her ass in the silks and take her hard and long until she begged for me to stop or roared in pleasure. Whichever happened first.

  I cross my arms low, holding my wrist with one hand, ensuring the rest of the class doesn’t see my desire for the blond goddess before me. What I need is to get a handle on my body’s reaction to her, but so far, that has not been easy. Just her breathing is enough to get me hard as a rock.

  Needing to cool off, I walk the room, readjusting people where necessary until I’m distracted by the sound of giggling behind me. I turn around to find Grace, her head upside down as she arcs into position.

  “What are you doing here, troublemaker?” I whisper and pretend to be affronted, but I can’t ever be mad at Gracie. Her happiness and good nature are infectious.

  “Wanted a front-row seat for the show.” She chuckles and sits up, smiling, and then nods her chin in Honor’s direction.

  “Class, sit up, close your eyes, and take five full breaths in, allowing the air to completely fill your lungs, and then exhale until there is no air left.” I glare at my sister while the class follows through on my command. She stares me down, not backing off. I roll my eyes and address the class in a huff. “Once completed, turn to your side and go into half-moon, allowing the silks to hold your ribcage while you ease into it. Gracie here will show you how it’s done. Won’t you, Grace?”

  Grace sticks her tongue out and goes right into the pose, her body alignment perfect. I’ve taught her well. A bushel of pride fills my heart as I watch the class mimic her position.

  “This pose is also known as Ardha Candrasana in Sanskrit. It’s an excellent hip and chest opener. If turning to the side is too much for you at this phase in your practice, shift the silks to your abdomen and stretch your arms out in front of you, going into Warrior Three. The impact is less, but you will still get a good lengthening throughout the sides of the body.”

  I make sure everyone in class has the position before I head back to the front. Bad idea. Honor is facing my hammock, arms stretched out forward as if she’s reaching for me. It takes everything I have not to touch her fingertips, making even the smallest physical contact. I know myself too well. Once I touch her, it will be over. Instead, I hold back, wondering why I asked her to come to class in the first place. Probably because I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, but having her here, close enough to touch and not being able to, irks me to no end.

  For the rest of the hour, I put the class through their paces and finish with Savasana or deep relaxation, this time with them lying on the floor instead of in the hammock. It’s not my usual modus operandi, but change is necessary. At least that’s what I’ve been taught over the past decade.

  I left everything I knew when I entered the army. Change.

  Exiting the army, I came home not knowing what was up or down. Change.

  Wandering endlessly around a Berkeley neighborhood and coming across a gym for sale. Change.

  A beautiful woman with sad eyes enters my life. Change.

  Life is full of changes. It’s what we do with those changes that makes all the difference.

  When I bring everyone back from their relaxation, my entire focus is on Honor. Her movements are sluggish, relaxed, more so than I’ve seen before. As if the stars and the moon and the universe itself have smiled down on me, everyone leaves before my dove is finished with settling her belongings. Easing the door shut, I pad across the wood floors and capture her from behind, bringing her back flush against my front.

  Her lovely gasp sounds throaty and loud in the otherwise empty room. All that’s left is us and a Chopin piece playing over the studio speakers. I turn my goddess around, grab her waist, and lift her back into the silks hanging behind her. Her butt hits the hammock, and before she can protest, I’ve got the silk protecting her back. She opens those long legs of hers wide so I can fit my body between them. In a second flat, I’ve got my mouth on hers.

  She moans into our first kiss, sending jolts of pleasure down my spine to lie heavily at the base. She tastes better than I imagined. Like vanilla and mint mixed together. Her tongue is tentative as I explore her, but her arms and legs are not, wrapping around my form like a lust-drunk teen. I love every second of her eager need to be closer. I wrap my hands around her body, lean her back into the silks, and drink from her mouth like I’ve been dying of thirst. Her lower half rubs against my iron-like erection, and I growl my pleasure into her mouth. I suck her bottom lip and then her top. She mimics each move with one of her own. A nibble here, more suction there, until I’m completely lost in her. I could spend the rest of my days with only these lips to kiss, and I’d be a happy man. I pull away far enough so we both can catch our breath.

  In that moment, her eyes blaze a silvery gray I’ll never forget for as long as I live. My heart pounds, and my skin sizzles with heat as I stare at the stunning woman before me. Energy flickers and pops off my form like sparks from a welding iron as my fate becomes sealed.

  One kiss was all it took.

  One kiss and I’ll give her everything.

  One kiss and I’ll lay down my life.

  One kiss and I know she is meant to be mine.

  One kiss and I have seen my forever in her eyes.

  My voice is scratchy and rough when I speak. I need to know. Need to hear that I’m not the only one.

  “Tell me you feel this? It’s crazy. Wild. Untamed. I can’t begin to understand it or explain it. All I know is, I don’t ever want to let it go. Let you go.”

  “Then don’t,” she whispers, her eyes glued to mine, timid and afraid yet hungry and dark with arousal.

  “Oh, Dove, nothing could keep me away from you now that I’ve had a taste.”

  * * *

  I can’t stop grinning. I’ve got Honor’s slim, small hand in mine as I lead her down the hallway. Thirty minutes ago, I was kissing this beautiful woman—my woman, if I have anything to say about it. I surprised myself when I shared what I was feeling, but it felt right. At the time, I was scared she’d run, being so skittish. Instead, she leaned in and kissed me again…harder. I know she’s worried about what’s burning between us, but I don’t know why. All I care about is that she’s giving me a shot. Giving this amazing thing between us a real go.

  When we exit Lotus House, I let go of her hand and walk over to my Chevy, and she heads toward a flashy-as-hell black Mercedes coupe.

  She stops when I don’t follow her and then turns on her heels. “Oh, did you want to drive me?”

  I grin and walk over to her. “Yeah, Dove. That’s kind of what happens on a date. The man drives the woman. Or at least, I drive my woman.”

  Her eyes widen at my rather blatant statement, but the sooner she gets used to my possessive ways, the better, because I will make her mine. That kiss sealed it for me. There’s no going back after that. I will do whatever it takes, work my ass off if I have to, in order to make her see she’s for me and I’m for her. Period.

  “Um, okay. Will you bring me back to my car?”

  I grin, looping my arms around her waist. �
��Tonight or tomorrow morning?” The sexual innuendo rolls off my tongue so fast, I grit my teeth, wishing with my whole heart I could take it back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

  She frowns. “You don’t want to be with me…um tonight?” Honor bites her lip, swallows, and then glances to the side.

  Damn it, I’m screwing this up. I cup her face with both hands and brush my thumbs along her cheeks. They’re warm, and I can sense the pulse underneath her skin, pounding out a nervous rhythm. “I do. More than anything. But you’re worth more than one night’s roll in the hay.”

  She blinks sweetly before lifting her gaze to mine. “I am?”

  “Yeah, babe. You are, and I’m going to make you see that. Now, come on. Ride with me so we can talk. I’ll bring you back to your car later.”

  “Okay,” she says as I loop my fingers with hers.

  I get her settled into my Camaro and run around the front before getting into the driver’s side.

  “This is a very cool car. Like in those fast car movies.” She runs a pale hand along the dash stitching.

  I chuckle. “The Fast and the Furious? I don’t know about that. Though your car… How does a girl just out of college afford something like that?” I glance to the side and catch her frown in the passing streetlights. “Not that it’s any of my business,” I add rather lamely, already having overstepped my boundaries.

  She’s quiet for several minutes before she looks out the window. “That inheritance I told you about… It’s um, rather large. The uh, well, the Carmichaels own…”

  She’s about to lay it all out, and it dawns on me that it’s really making her uncomfortable, so I shut it down. “Honor. It’s cool. But instead of buying a flashy car—” I waggle my eyebrows to get her laughing again. It works; she loses the tension in her face and turns toward me. “You should consider your options. Maybe invest in something that’s going to secure your future. Cars come and go. When I had a good-sized chunk of change…well, I told you what I did with it.”