Strictly Confidential Attraction

by Brenda Jackson

  Arthur Lind, who had deserted his wife and daughters years before, had shown up on the day of the funeral anticipating that he would inherit the house his wife had purchased without him. He actually had gotten ticked when he’d discovered she had willed it to her daughters. He had filed a lawsuit claiming since he and his wife had never divorced, he deserved at least half of whatever assets she had accumulated.

  Luckily for Alli and Kara, by the time the judge ordered her father to pay the back child-support payments he owed her and Kara, the amount was well over the equity he felt he was due from the house. In fact, he was ordered to pay an additional five thousand dollars, which he never did, and neither Alli nor Kara had heard from him again.

  “You have no reason to thank me since I’m speaking the truth,” Mrs. Sanders said as she resumed peeling the potatoes and glanced up for only a second. “How’s your baby sister doing?”

  Since it seemed that the older woman already had had a glimpse into her past, Alli spent the next ten minutes telling her how Kara had adjusted over the years and how well she was doing with her studies at college. Inwardly, she hoped her sister continued to do so. They hadn’t talked since Kara had told her about her upcoming date for this weekend. Kara had dated some in high school but had never taken any of the guys seriously. But there had been something in her voice when she’d told Alli about the library guy that Alli had never heard before whenever the two of them had any discussions about the opposite sex.

  “Something smells good in here.”

  Upon hearing Mark’s voice, Alli whipped her head around and stared at him in surprise. She hadn’t expected to see him until dinnertime. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Seeing him again was turning her insides to mush. She may not have experienced the pleasures a man and a woman shared but being around Mark had her body yearning to do so. The memory of their kiss just wouldn’t leave her alone.

  He must have read the questions lodged in her eyes and said, “My last appointment canceled so I thought I’d drop by to see how things were going.”

  Before Alli could open her mouth to respond, Mrs. Sanders replied as she checked on the food she was cooking, “Things are going fine. Erika is sleeping, and Alli and I were taking the time to get to know each other.”

  “Hmm, you don’t say?”

  Alli decided not to say anything. Instead, she went about folding the last piece of Erika’s laundry. She glanced up, however, when Mark came to stand beside the table.

  “Do you think Erika will be sleeping for a while?” he asked.

  Alli shrugged as she held his gaze. “It’s hard to say. She’s been sleeping for half an hour. I’d think she’ll have another hour or so to go. Why?”

  “I came by to see if the two of you wanted to take the ride with me over to Nita Windcroft’s place.”

  “Oh.”

  “You two can go on. I’ll keep an eye on Erika.”

  Alli stared at the older woman, surprised at her offer. Evidently Mark was surprised as well and said, “I thought you didn’t take care of babies.”

  Mrs. Sanders flapped her hand before she lifted the lid of her pot. “I don’t. But Erika is sleeping and chances are she’ll stay that way for a while and if not, then I’ll make an exception and handle things. No big deal.”

  “B-but, I—I’m sure he wanted Erika to go, too. This would have been a good outing for her,” Alli sputtered, not sure she was ready to be alone with Mark. That would give them the perfect time for the talk they needed to have; something she wasn’t looking forward to.

  Leaning against the sink, Mrs. Sanders gazed at both her and Mark. “Well, Erika can’t go because she’s sleeping and I doubt you’d want to wake her. She’s a fuss box if she doesn’t get her rest.” Frowning, the woman then dipped her chin as she stared at Mark. “Besides, I got the feeling that Mark just wanted some company.”

  Alli stole a quick glance at Mark. He was shaking his head, smiling while holding Mrs. Sanders’s gaze, as if he knew what she was up to. Evidently there was a private joke going on that Alli wasn’t privy to.

  Mark then turned and met Alli’s gaze. “Yes, I’d love the company if you’d like to go with me, Alli.”

  Inhaling a calming breath, Alli silently told herself that Mark was just being kind in asking her to go. The smart thing to do would be to turn down his offer. But then, as much as she wasn’t looking forward to it, they needed to talk, and putting things off wouldn’t help matters.

  “Okay, I just need to put these things away and grab my jacket.” She stood and, without looking at either him or Mrs. Sanders, walked out of the kitchen.

  Alli took the time to do more than grab her jacket. She brushed her hair and applied some lip gloss. She also changed blouses since Erika accidentally had spilled some syrup on it at breakfast.

  Moments later, she stared at her reflection in the mirror, deciding that she looked decent. She sucked in a deep breath as she left the bedroom and decided to quickly check on Erika. Alli stopped dead in her tracks when she found Mark in the room standing over the crib staring down at the sleeping baby.

  Alli wanted to give him a private moment with his niece. She was quietly backing out of the room, more than certain he hadn’t heard her, when he turned his head and met her gaze.

  She opened her mouth to apologize for the untimely intrusion when he placed a finger to his lips and beckoned for them to step outside the room. After following her into the hall, he closed the door behind them.

  “Sorry, I thought I’d check on her before we left,” Alli said softly, trying not to notice how close together they were standing. She could see the irises of his hazel eyes as well as smell the masculine scent of the cologne he wore.

  He smiled in understanding. “I thought I’d check on her, too. For some reason I like watching her sleep. She seems so at peace,” he murmured.

  Alli returned his smile. Earlier today she had thought the same thing. “She’s that way when she’s awake as well. Erika is a happy baby.”

  Mark lifted an eyebrow. “You really think so?”

  Alli chuckled. “Yes. She has such a good temperament and is a joy to take care of.”

  Mark couldn’t help but be pleased at what Alli had said. “Her father was that way. No matter how bad things were around here, nothing could break Matt’s spirit, although the old man tried. My brother was always able to look on the bright side.”

  Alli felt a tugging at her heart. She couldn’t help but recall the conversation she’d had with Mrs. Sanders and could only imagine Mark and his brother as young boys dealing with a father who thought it was wrong for him or his sons to show emotions.

  “Ready to go?”

  Mark’s question jarred her out of her reverie. She stared at him for a moment and then asked, “I know you’re visiting Nita on Texas Cattleman’s Club business. Are you sure you want me to come along?”

  He nodded his head. “Yes, I’m sure. Besides, this will give us time to talk.”

  Alli nodded. That’s what she’d been afraid of.

  Five

  Mark glanced over at Alli as they walked out to his truck, not able to suppress his full awareness of her. He could feel her nervous tension and wondered if it was because of him.

  He knew that kissing her had been a mistake, al though, heaven help him, he wanted to do it again. The desire for her wouldn’t go away. It was as if the lust that had been building and accumulating for two years was demanding to break free. They had crossed the boundary of what was acceptable between an employer and his employee and he couldn’t help wondering what she thought about it. His actions last night had put him at risk of losing the best assistant he’d ever had.

  But as much as he tried, he could not ignore her presence. He had dated some since his return to Royal but never had he let any woman get close to him. In fact, other than Erika, Mrs. Sanders, Christine Travers, the interior decorator and the other piss-poor nannies he’d hired, no other female had been allowed across the threshold
in his home.

  He was suddenly pulled from his thoughts when, to avoid coming into contact with the branch of a shrub, Alli moved closer to him and innocently touched her arm to his. He stiffened when a jolt of awareness shot through him. Just being around her was murder on his self-control.

  How in the world could she think that she was lacking in anything? he wondered again. Although he could tell she wasn’t an experienced kisser, that hadn’t had any bearing on how she had made him feel. In fact, he had found her inexperience totally refreshing and unique. There weren’t too many twenty-five-year-olds who hadn’t been in and out of numerous affairs. After thinking about it most of the day, he realized that during the two years Alli had worked for him, he’d never known her to go out on a date, not that he was privy to everything there was to know about her personal life and how she spent her free time.

  Hell, for all he knew she could have had a boyfriend, several of them. How did he know for sure that she didn’t have one now? She was a beautiful woman, a real head-turner no matter where she went, so it was possible she was seeing someone. For some reason, he was disturbed at the thought that there might be a special man in her life, although he had no right to feel that way.

  He sighed deeply. Instead of his mind being focused on Alli and whether or not she was involved with someone, he should be concentrating on his meeting with Nita Windcroft.

  But he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. He and Alli needed to talk.

  Mark and Alli rode for about four miles before either one of them spoke.

  “It won’t be much farther now,” Mark said, glancing over at her.

  “Yes, I know.” Alli turned from looking out the window and glanced over at him, barely seeing his eyes because of the wide brim of his Stetson. “You said that we would talk.” She had decided that if she needed to look for other employment, the sooner she did so, the better.

  “Yes, I did.” He glanced back over at her again. “About last night. I think you misunderstood the reason I was apologizing.”

  She lifted an eyebrow. “Did I?”

  He gave her a lazy smile. “Yes, I think you did.”

  She took a deep breath, reminding herself that lately she and Mark weren’t on the same wavelength, so she decided to let him do the explaining. “I don’t understand what you’re saying, Mark.”

  She blinked when she saw he was pulling to the side of the road, and once they were stopped, he turned off the engine of his truck. He turned in his seat to face her, tipping his hat back. In a way, Alli wished that he hadn’t done that. Now she could see his eyes and the intensity she saw in them made her breath catch.

  “The reason I apologized, Alli, was because I’m the one who initiated the kiss and I was out of line to do so. When I said that we made a mistake, what I meant was that the kiss should not have happened. I told you that I wasn’t ready to become involved with anyone. But last night I gave into a weakness I’ve been fighting for two years.”

  Alli blinked in surprise. “Two years?”

  He smiled warmly. “Yes, for two years. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a very long time and my apology had nothing to do with your lack of experience.”

  Alli wanted to believe what he was saying. “I wasn’t sure since I haven’t dated much. Over the years, even while I was in high school, taking care of Kara occupied most of my time and there wasn’t time for dates.”

  There was no way she was going to tell him that once Kara had left for school she could have started dating, but by that time she had fallen in love with him and no other man had interested her.

  “I don’t want to become involved with you, Alli.”

  She pursed her lips and raised her chin. “And I don’t want to become involved with you, either.”

  “Good. I’m glad we agree on that. Another kiss would be asking for trouble.”

  “I totally agree.”

  He leaned back in his seat. “If we were to kiss again it will be hard for us to go back to having a strictly professional relationship.”

  “I concur with that as well.”

  “We will be living together for a while and since we know what’s the most sensible thing to do, which is the only thing that we can do, what do you suggest?” His gaze slid to her mouth. She saw it happen and her pulse quickened.

  “I could leave here today and, if you want, I’ll even quit my job at the studio.”

  “No. That’s not what I want, Alli.” Mark rubbed his hand down his face. He needed to rid her of the notion that he preferred she leave.

  “I need you here, Alli, and when I find a nanny who I can depend on, I’ll need you back at the studio. In no way am I suggesting that you stop working for me.”

  “Then what are you saying?”

  His muscles tightened at the memory of what had happened to Patrice and the months of endless guilt he endured following her death. Never again would he set himself up for such heartbreak. The quicker he established some distance between Alison and him, the better things would be for both of them.

  His eyes met hers. “What I’m trying to say is that I need to practice more self-control when it comes to you. But it won’t be easy. I need your help. We both need to accept that we’re attracted to each other. It’s an attraction that will lead nowhere, since I don’t ever intend to get serious about a woman again.” He held her gaze intensely. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say, Alli?”

  She nodded, fighting the tightness in her throat. He was telling her in a nice way that he didn’t want her. Ever. “You want to keep things as they have been between us for the past two years, a strictly professional relationship. Is that what you want?”

  Mark nodded. “Yes, that is exactly what I want.”

  “We’re here,” Mark said, glancing over at Alli. She hadn’t said more than two words to him since they’d had their talk. More than once he had tried to strike up a conversation with her but in a polite yet distant way she had let him know she wasn’t prone to chitchat. In fact, she was doing exactly what he’d asked her to do—establish a strictly professional relationship between them.

  And already he didn’t like it.

  He glanced out of his truck’s windshield and stared at the main house of the Windcrofts’ Horse farm. The structure was very modern with a lot of tall windows and a stone facade. The primary stable was located close to the house and an older farmhouse—probably the original family dwelling—was set back in the distance. There were also four corrals, stallion pens as well as a training pen.

  From his early days of living in Royal, Mark recalled that Will Windcroft’s wife had died when his two daughters, Nita and Rose, were small children. The Windcroft girls were as different as day and night. It had always been Rose’s dream to leave Royal and pursue a career in the big city. Nita never wanted to leave and had looked forward to continuing her father’s horse-breeding farm. In recent years, as business had increased, she’d begun assuming a greater role in running things.

  “I’ve always liked this place.”

  Mark jerked his head around. Alli had spoken without being prompted. It suddenly occurred to him how much he liked hearing her voice. Even while at the studio when she was going over reports, he would be more in tune to listening to her voice than concentrating on the subject they were discussing.

  “My dad used to purchase his horses from Mr. Windcroft and I’ve always liked it here, too,” he said. “You come here often?” he asked, wanting to keep her talking. Just because they had agreed to have a strictly business relationship was no reason they had to act like total strangers.

  “Not as often as I’d like to. When I was a little girl, Mr. Windcroft taught me how to ride my first horse, and later when Nita took over the running of things, she taught Kara. Even now there are days on the weekend when I’ll come and get one of their horses and ride for hours, although not as often as I used to.”

  Mark gave her an incredulous look. Though he knew most people in Royal could ride, he never gav
e it much thought that she could. For some reason, he could not imagine her sitting on the back of a horse. She seemed too prim and proper for that. “I have horses at my ranch. You’re welcome to take one out whenever you want. John Collier is my foreman. He’ll be glad to saddle one up for you.”

  She glanced at him as she brushed her hair back from her face. “Thanks.”

  Before he could say anything, she opened the truck’s door and hopped out. He figured she was putting distance between them again. He inhaled deeply as he opened his own door. And for the second time he had to remind himself that he was getting just what he’d asked for.

  She wasn’t trying to be difficult, Alli tried convincing herself. What she was doing was trying to make the best of a difficult situation. Mark had made things pretty clear. In order to keep her job, she needed to keep her distance and he would keep his. Although it would be challenging with them living under the same roof, she intended to do it.

  She smiled when she saw Jimmy, the Windcrofts’ foreman, approaching. However, she tensed when she felt Mark’s presence beside her. She hadn’t wasted any time getting out of the truck because of the desperate need to catch her breath and gather her composure. She was sure Mark wasn’t aware of it, but each and every time he looked at her for too long or got too close to her, her insides filled with heat. She walked away from him to meet Jimmy, needing desperately to escape his presence.

  “Ms. Lind, how are you?” Jimmy greeted her, smiling brightly. “It’s been a while since you’ve come out for a ride.”

  She returned the man’s smile. “Yes, I’ve been pretty busy lately. How is everything going?”

  Before Jimmy could respond, his gaze moved to Mark, who had joined them. “Jimmy, do you know Mark Hartman?” Alli asked. “He’s here to talk to Nita.”