Strictly Confidential Attraction

by Brenda Jackson

  For a long moment their gazes held, connected, interlocked with a fierce tension. Even from the few feet that separated them, she could smell his scent, and seeing him dressed in a pair of low-slung gray pajama bottoms wasn’t helping matters. Not when his bare chest reminded her of when they had collided that morning he’d been about to shave.

  And now, like then, her body tingled with full awareness of him as a man.

  “I thought you were in bed asleep,” Mark said, almost in a whisper.

  She swallowed, trying to get both her brain and her mouth to function, and knew she needed to stop staring at his chest, especially the way a thin, hairy line made a path downward to disappear in the waistband of his pajamas. “I decided to check on Erika,” she somehow managed to say.

  Concern touched his features and he covered the distance to stand in front of her. “Why? Was something wrong? Is she okay?”

  Erika is fine. I’m the one about to go up in flames, she wanted to say, meeting his gaze. “No, she’s okay. I couldn’t sleep and decided to check on her.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  Alli doubted that he did, but that was okay. Right now she needed to escape to her bedroom and fast. “Well, I’d better go back to bed. Good night.”

  “Good night, Alli.” He stepped back to let her pass but then, driven by a need he didn’t understand, he reached out and touched her arm.

  Mark felt it the moment their flesh connected, that spark. He heard the quick intake of her breath and knew she had felt it, too. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the air around them seemed to change. It got thicker, overpowering, and pulsated with sexual energy of the most potent kind. He could breathe it, smell it, almost taste it.

  The same way he desperately wanted to taste her.

  Acting on something greater than instinct and driven by a need that suddenly took control of his entire body, he leaned down and captured her lips, urging and coaxing them to part under his, then tempting her tongue with his own. His fingers tangled in her hair as he held her immobile, determined to get his fill of what had been the cause of his sleepless nights.

  His tongue took hers in firm strokes and when he heard a whimper from deep within her throat, he deepened the kiss, pulled her closer to the fit of him, flexed his hips and rocked hard against her, wanting her to know just what she was doing to him.

  He refused to ease the pressure he was placing on her mouth and with each fragmented moan she released, he deepened the kiss more, fighting the thought that although this kiss was as good as it got, there was something else here, something he was feeling that went beyond sexual.

  The sudden need to breathe overrode his urgency to continue tasting her and he slowly let go, but he didn’t pull back, nor did he stop kissing her completely. His tongue made slow, teasing strokes to each corner of her mouth and he felt the deep shudder that passed through her.

  “We broke the rules again, didn’t we?” she said softly, releasing a shaky breath and burying her face in his chest.

  He inhaled deeply as his arms tightened around her. She sounded so disappointed, so sad, and her entire body was trembling.

  “I’m sorry, Mark. I allowed things to get out of hand again. I’ll pack my things and leave in the morning.”

  Her words infiltrated his heat-infested mind and the beating of his heart almost stopped. Did she actually blame herself for this?

  He sighed deeply and pulled her closer. No one was to blame, especially not her. Yes, they had broken the rules again, but at this point it didn’t matter because he intended for them to keep breaking them. He didn’t care about the strictly professional relationship they were supposed to have anymore. He knew that he might be making one of the biggest mistakes of his life, but he wanted her, this woman, in his arms, his bed. He wanted her to have an in-depth, intimate knowledge of him and he wanted an in-depth, intimate knowledge of her.

  “Alli, look at me,” he whispered softly.

  It took a while but she finally lifted her head and met his gaze. “Now tell me, what do you see?”

  Alli silently searched his face. What she saw was a very handsome man; a man with a big heart and a lot of love to share. But he was trying desperately to keep that love shut up inside. He was a man who could love with a passion if only he allowed himself to let go. He was also a man who cared but was determined to keep his emotions buried and unexposed. But what she saw more than anything was the man she had fallen in love with two years ago. A part of her wanted to expose those hidden emotions within him, bring them out in the open and destroy the heart-wrenching pain that engulfed his world. Then it hit her. She felt it and couldn’t ignore it. Absurd as it might seem, for the moment, she believed it.

  Mark needed her.

  She inhaled deeply and finally responded by making him think about his own question. “You tell me what I should see, Mark.”

  Time stood still as he gazed at her, saying nothing, then after drawing in a ragged breath, he said, “You should see a man who doesn’t give a damn about rules right now. A man who will have no regrets tomorrow. What you should see is a man who desperately wants you, who has wanted you for a long time and at this moment he can’t breathe another breath unless he has you, in his arms, in his bed.”

  Knowing he had to be completely honest with her, he continued to speak. “I can’t make you promises and I won’t. I don’t want, nor am I looking for, a serious, lasting relationship, which is the main reason I never wanted to become involved with you. But if you allow me, I’ll introduce you to all the pleasures that a man and a woman can share. Pleasures you’ve denied yourself and pleasures I’ve denied myself as well. I haven’t been with anyone for over a year, Alli, because every woman I dated I wanted to be you. I’ve wanted you that much.”

  Emotions clogged Alli’s throat. In no way was he saying that he cared anything about her. In fact, he was letting her know that commitment of any kind was out of the question. But what he’d said touched her. He wanted her, and although there weren’t promises of forever, she felt drawn to him nonetheless.

  “I know that considering everything I’ve just said, I don’t have any rights to ask anything of you, so I won’t,” he said, reclaiming her thoughts. “I’m going back to my room so you can think about what I’m offering. If you decide to accept my terms, then come to me. You don’t have to knock, just open the door and walk on in.”

  He swallowed deeply and then said, “If you decide not to come, I’ll understand. The decision is yours.”

  Before Alli could say anything, he had turned, reentered his bedroom and softly closed the door behind himself.

  Alli breathed deeply. Mark was wrong. The decision wasn’t hers. It belonged to her heart.

  Eight

  She wasn’t coming.

  Mark blinked, realizing that his gaze had been riveted on his bedroom door ever since he had left Alli standing in the hall. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Twenty minutes had passed.

  His stomach tumbled in disappointment, but he accepted her decision. After all, he wasn’t offering her anything except pleasure and for her that might not be enough.

  But that was all he could give her.

  He had made sure he thoroughly explained that, not wanting to take a chance on there being any misunderstandings. A misunderstanding would not be a good situation for either of them. He had wanted her to know the score.

  Knowing sleep was impossible, he threw back the covers and got out of bed to walk over to the window that overlooked the back of his property. From the moon’s satiny glow, he could see the outlines of the meadows and valleys that were Hartman land. As a child he had loved it here, but as a teenager he had counted the days before he could leave. Both he and Matt had sworn never to return as long as their old man had lived. And they never had.

  Mark’s body jolted to attention when he heard his bedroom door opening and he held his breath, too afraid to turn around for fear he had just imagined the sound. But moments later when he heard the
soft sound of bare footsteps touching the wood floor, and inhaled the scent that was distinctively Alli, he knew he wasn’t imagining things.

  With his pulse racing a mile a minute, he forced back the surge of desire that rammed his body as he slowly turned around. His gaze went to her face and watched as a nervous smile touched her lips.

  “I’m here,” she whispered softly, and the seductively quiet voice sent his pulse racing even more.

  His breath hitched and the only words he could manage to say while his brain seemed not to be functioning were, “Thank you for coming.”

  His gaze then took in what she was wearing. She had changed from the tea-length nightgown and matching robe she’d had on earlier to a more seductive outfit. Now she was wearing a very short, red silk sleep shirt that did more than just complement her chocolate-brown skin. And with her five-eight height and long, gorgeous legs, the outfit looked both feminine and sexy on her.

  “I didn’t think you were coming,” he said huskily, abruptly aware that the room was filled with the sound of their uneven breathing.

  She smiled wryly and he saw the nervousness begin to ease from her features. “I wanted to put on something that I thought would be more appropriate.”

  Doesn’t matter since I plan to remove every stitch from you, he thought, slowly dropping his gaze to rake it over her. Moments later he was staring back into the beautiful face that had haunted his dreams for nearly two years; whether he had wanted it to or not.

  Is she sure about this? he wondered, as he swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat. He had to be certain. “Are you positive this is what you want?” he asked in a slightly hoarse voice.

  “Yes, I’m positive.” She lifted her chin and what he saw almost took his breath away. The same desire that he knew was lining his features was also lining hers. Tonight she had more to lose than he did, since he was fairly certain, could probably bet his ranch on it, that the woman standing before him was still a virgin. It all made sense. The way she always seemed unsure of herself when they kissed and how she would let him take the lead and eagerly followed. But then he had to admit, tonight would mean a lot to him as well. He had never introduced sexual pleasures to a virgin and hoped that he went above and beyond her expectations.

  He decided to set the tone for what was about to follow. “If you’re absolutely certain, come here.”

  With her gaze still holding his, she padded over to him. “Closer,” he whispered as her soft feminine scent filtered into his nostrils. He watched her swallow, saw the thickness in her throat when she took another couple of steps, bringing her nearly face-to-face with him. But as far as he was concerned, that wasn’t close enough.

  “Closer,” he whispered lower still.

  She lifted an eyebrow, obviously confused. If she took another step, she would be all on top of him. A smile touched the corners of his mouth. That was the idea.

  Mark watched as she drew a quivering breath and when she took another step, he automatically widened his stance and, as he’d known, she fit perfectly, positioning herself between his legs. He wanted her to feel the size of his erection and this way she couldn’t miss it. And from the sudden look that appeared on her face, she hadn’t.

  The feel of Mark’s erection pressed large, hard and throbbing against her middle sent a deep ache through Alli’s body. It was an ache for something she couldn’t name but wanted just the same. When she had eased between his open legs, her nightshirt had risen up past her thighs, beyond what was decent, and provided a provocative glimpse of her matching bikini panties. A surge of heat ripped through her and all she could think about was the degree of passion he was making her feel. To want him this much and be this close to having him were things she had only experienced in her dreams. Now she had to concede that reality was a whole lot better.

  She had decided to do this, to become his lover for tonight, tomorrow, for however long he wanted. He might think of it as animal attraction, lust, an uncontrollable yearning or overwhelming desire, but for her she knew it was love. She loved this man with every ounce of her being and if this would be all they would ever share, then she was willing to make do. But just as he had given her a choice tonight, when it was time for her to leave she would give him the chance to make a choice as well. She believed that behind the stone wall surrounding his heart was the loving kindness of the man she knew he was.

  “Feel it?”

  His question jolted her to attention. She met his gaze. It was intense, hypnotic, arousing. She didn’t doubt for an instant just what he was asking. “Yes, I feel it.”

  “Would you like to have it?”

  She hesitated a second; not that she wasn’t sure that she wanted it, but because she was surprised he would ask. She sucked in a deep breath when it seemed the throbbing tempo of the erection pressed against her increased and the size of it got larger. She tilted her head. “Yes, most definitely.”

  She watched as a smile touched his lips. “I hope you know what you’re getting into because I plan to get all into you,” he whispered huskily, before leaning down and kissing her with an urgency that almost made her swoon.

  The way his tongue was taking her had desire—as potent as it could get—seeping into her pores, making her want things she never had before. And not knowing how it was possible, he pulled her closer to the fit of him as silk rubbed against silk, flesh against flesh, heat against heat. She felt it the instant he slid his hands up her thighs while deepening the kiss at the same time. She felt his fingers work their way beneath her shirt then inch toward the edge of her panties.

  While changing clothes, she had been tempted to leave them off, which would have had her completely bare to his hands at this point. But it seemed nothing was going to stop him and he intended to have her bare anyway. And when his fingers eased past the waistband on her panties and he touched her intimately, she knew how it felt to place oneself in a man’s hands.

  She was wet, drenched, Mark thought as his fingers found their mark and gently eased inside of her. He shifted positions, widening his legs, as well as hers. He fought for control, clung to his last ounce of willpower when the moans she began making filled the room. The scent of her aroused body was permeating the air and it was like an aphrodisiac, stimulating every cell within him and amplifying his libido.

  And then she did something he hadn’t expected and wasn’t prepared for. She shifted her body, reached out and wiggled her small hand into the opening of his silk pajama bottoms and grabbed hold of him. He could tell she was just as surprised by her actions as he was. But in no way did he intend to discourage her. Unlike her, he didn’t have on a stitch of clothing beneath and all he could think about was the feel of her soft hand on his hard shaft. When she began running her fingers down the length of him, as if she needed to find out for herself what his erection was all about, he almost lost it.

  With an animal groan that erupted deep from within his throat, he swept her into his arms. Never in his life had he ached so much for a woman and, clinging to his last shred of self-control, he carried her over to his bed.

  Alli buried her face into Mark’s hair-covered chest, now fully understanding how if felt to be swept off her feet. From the moment she had walked into his room, he had made her feel like the most desired woman in the world. Now being engulfed in his strong arms, she felt doubly so.

  When he placed her on the bed and joined her there, she knew her endurance was about to be tested. He reached out and began unbuttoning her shirt and then removed it from her body, leaving her clad only in her panties. She wondered if he realized that he was staggering her senses.

  He raised high above her, after letting his gaze roam over her near-naked body, his hazel eyes locked on her face. “If I do or suggest doing anything you aren’t comfortable with, promise that you’ll let me know,” he whispered huskily as he brushed her hair aside and moved his lips closer to her ear.

  “I promise.”

  Her body began shuddering when th
e palm of his hand moved slowly down her bare arms at the same time his warm breath trailed over her neck. “And I want you to promise if I tell you not to stop that you won’t,” she whispered, feeling herself lose what little control she’d been holding on to.

  She felt the imprint of his smile against her neck. “You sure about that?”

  “Positive.”

  “I don’t think you know what you’ll be asking for,” he said, swathing her neck with a series of wet butterfly kisses.

  “Yes, I do,” she whispered when his mouth started moving lower. “I’ll be asking for more of you.”

  He lifted his head, met her eyes and penetrated them with a deep intensity. “I promise,” he whispered. And then, as if in slow motion, he connected his mouth to hers.

  In Alli’s mind this kiss was different. Using the tip of his tongue, he invaded, teased and explored every corner, nook and crevice of her mouth, especially those areas she hadn’t been aware were insanely sensitive until now. And with every movement of his tongue, he elicited her reaction; he seemed to feed on it and, in no time at all, he had her moaning out sounds she wasn’t aware she was capable of making.

  The multitude of what she was feeling stunned her, captivated her and filled her with a need that was all consuming.

  As slowly as he had entered her mouth, he was pulling out, but didn’t go far. He trailed kisses down her neck, easing down her chest and, when his lips came to her breasts, he pulled her close and took one into this mouth, licking, sucking and nibbling, one then the other.

  No man had ever touched her there, let alone kissed her, and the feel of Mark’s mouth on her nipples—as well as what he was doing to them—had her sucking in deep breaths. Winding her arms around his neck, he intensified his mouth tugging on her, making her feel erotic sensations all the way to her toes. He had a very talented mouth, she quickly concluded, and when he finally pulled back, she suddenly felt a deep sense of loss.