Learning to Trust

by Lynne Connolly

  “Yes, oh yes!” Nothing more, just him.

  “I can’t, my sweet, we can’t. I didn’t come prepared.” She gritted her teeth. No condom. Oh fuck. Or rather, no fuck. “Let me pleasure you. Let me touch you.”

  “If you do the same. Take off your pants.”

  He stood as if reluctant to leave her, lifting his body slowly off hers. His gaze never left her, cruising over her skin as if memorizing every part of it. He unfastened his jeans and kicked them away, toeing off his running shoes as if they weren’t top-of-the-line Converses. His underwear followed and he returned to her, but not as she had imagined, covering her body with his.

  He knelt before her. “Open wide, sweetheart. You get to come first.”

  With a moan of surrender, she did as he asked. He drew one finger up her folds, from opening to clit and lingered to circle and tease. Heat rushed to the area, tightening her muscles as she gave a slight moan. He paused and gazed up at her face. “Don’t make too much noise. There’s only a door between us and all those customers. You want them all to know we’re here, doing this?”

  The thought heightened her arousal, the thought of indulging in the forbidden, of someone interrupting them. She sighed, long and hard, pushing out her breath, but gasped when he touched her clit with his tongue. She knew without looking that it was hard for him, but she looked down anyway. His eyes met hers and she watched him open his mouth, extend his tongue and take her clitoris fully inside. He sucked and she gripped the edge of the desk. But she didn’t stop watching him. He gazed at her as he licked and sucked. He opened his mouth wide over her pussy and pushed his tongue into her, while remaining in connection with her clit.

  Her orgasm came from nowhere. A bolt of lightning from a blue sky that hit her dead on target, sliced her open with its intensity. But after one cry, she shoved her fist into her mouth and bit down, muffling her cries.

  She breathed deep, panted out her orgasm. “Jon. Oh, Jon, that was incredible. Amazing.”

  He chuckled and got to his feet, reaching out a hand to help her up. She took it, but used the impetus to press her hand against his chest and urge him into the chair. It was a vinyl chair, with wooden arms and a metal frame, the kind she remembered from waiting rooms. A small, cheap table stood beside it, holding a box of tissues and a notepad.

  The chair gave him something to hold on to, but he chose instead to slide his fingers into her hair when she knelt between his legs. “You don’t—you don’t have to,” he managed, his throat seemingly rusty.

  “I want to.” And she did. His cock reared up, hard and dark with need. For her. That alone made her mouth water, the knowledge that right here, right now it was her he wanted. Nobody else.

  Keeping her gaze on his, as he had for her, she slowly leaned forward. Without looking she traced the soft skin of his balls, moved up and brought her nails into play. She kept her touch soft and gentle. The threat of scratches had him sucking his breath between his teeth with a hiss of air. His eyes dilated.

  She touched her tongue to him, the very tip, where a bead of moisture had formed. She took the drop into her mouth, slowly, letting him see how much she savored the tempting gift. Then she dug her nails in. Not enough to mark, but on such sensitive skin, enough to have an effect. Careful not to tug and so scratch him, she released her hold and took him in a firm grip instead. She sucked. He gave a soft groan, and his grip on her hair tightened and then deliberately relaxed, just as she’d done on his cock.

  Then she worked him. Dipped her mouth as low as she could, until his cockhead touched the back of her throat, and she used her hand to cover the deficit. To think she took all of this deep inside her body when they fucked! She wished they could now, but with the aftermath of the orgasm he’d given her still making her pussy pulsate, she’d take this rather than nothing. And she got to touch him, watch his chest rise and fall with his quickened breaths as she sucked harder and deeper.

  She widened her legs to keep her balance, and lifted her other hand to cradle his balls. Now she got a soft groan for her efforts. She wanted more than that. Everything, all the way. Smoothing, gripping, sucking, she found her rhythm. And she watched him, saw the effect she had on him. He let her, opened his expression to her, showed her how she affected him. He let his mouth fall open slightly, didn’t close it, but drew in deep breaths. His eyes were black now, all pupil, with a rim of startling blue. And his lids drooped, shading his eyes from the bright lights but still watching her as she watched him.

  The pulse in her pussy wasn’t all from her orgasm. She felt her cleft dampen, her juice sliding down her thighs in a fresh arousal, brought out completely by his reaction to her.

  “Touch yourself.” His voice came as a low, raspy murmur. “Come with me. Let me watch it all.”

  She wanted to so much. She released his balls, now larger and harder, taut against his groin, and reached down to caress her clit. It wouldn’t take much. Her body sighed at the relief. She hadn’t even noticed how aroused she’d become, in working him and watching him.

  His hands tightened on her head and by that she knew, before he said it. “I’m coming. Oh, God!”

  Then he broke contact, dropping his head back on the seat cushion and straining up into her mouth. The first jet hit the back of her throat as her first convulsion hit. Three hard, full throbs, echoing his pulses, first inside her mouth, then on the tissue she’d grabbed from the box on the table next to the chair.

  That first spurt had hit her with such force it had triggered a reflex and she had to breathe fast. But she was glad she’d gotten that first, salty taste. It hadn’t stopped her own climax.

  Jon hauled her onto his lap, cradling her close. She nestled, reveling in his scent. She missed this so much, missed him so much but she hadn’t allowed herself to remember. Until now. She wrapped her arms around him, his back and shoulders, loving the breadth of chest, the way his hair rasped against her softer skin.

  He nuzzled her hair, kissed her. “Thank you. You’re amazing. There’s no shower in this place. Why not come to my place to bathe and talk?”

  So tempting. She hadn’t seen his place. “Do you live with your mother?”

  He laughed. “Not a chance. She lives on the Upper West Side. I live on the other side of the park. We’ll be alone. Just us. Come home with me?”

  When he said that it sounded so seductive. And why not? They could spend the afternoon in bed, or in the shower, or—anywhere. It didn’t have to mean anything.

  Who was she kidding? Certainly not herself.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Crumpled and with a definite aroma of sex about them, Jon and Lina hauled into a taxi. They held hands all the way to his apartment on the Upper East Side. Feeling like kids, they stuffed the used tissues in a carrier from the store, and dumped them in a trash can outside.

  Jon could never remember doing anything so unprofessional in his life before, but he couldn’t feel sorry about it. Because he had her back. And now that he had her, he wanted to keep her. If he hadn’t done anything then and there, she’d have gone back home. The atmosphere would have built up again, the wall created by their social circumstances and their own reserve. They’d have lost the moment and lost each other.

  They didn’t talk. He wanted to talk to her in his own time, after they’d bathed and eaten, and perhaps made love properly. That sounded good. She looked tired; perhaps he could persuade her to sleep a little before they talked. The thought of holding her in his arms again while she slept made the warm fuzzies threaten to take over. He couldn’t do that, tempting though he found it. He had to think clearly.

  He released her hand so he could pay the cabbie, but he grabbed it again after they’d exited. He laughed. “Crumpled and rumpled, eh? Shall we see if we can get rumpled some more?”

  Laughing, they took the elevator up to his place. He stole a kiss on the way up and saw their shadowy reflections in the smoked glass. He swung her around so he could see her back and his hand splayed over it. It l
ooked good.

  He shared his floor with three other apartments and the foyer had a water feature, a ripple of water over pebbles. She stopped to smile and say how much she liked it, which pleased him. He liked the gentle sound of water in the mornings when he stood with his briefcase waiting for the elevator to take him down to face another stressful day. In a way, Lina was like that, a soothing center of calm, as well as a stimulant that could wake him up when he least expected it. She challenged him, made him think. He liked that. He could understand why her new stepbrother didn’t. Farina might fool Lina, but she hadn’t seen his exasperation when she’d contradicted him or said something unexpected. He had, and he’d taken note. Maybe the guy had something on his mind.

  Now that he had her again, he wouldn’t let her go easy.

  He slipped his key in the front door, frowning when he realized he’d only engaged the one lock. Even here, in an upscale apartment building, it didn’t pay to be careless with security. He swung the door open and stood back to let her pass through first. Closing the door, he tossed his keys on to the table by the door. Another bad habit he shouldn’t really indulge in, but it was so convenient. The concierge downstairs had a duplicate set of keys to his place locked in a safe, but the security hoops he had to jump through hardly made it worth it. His mother had another set. He’d have to get some cut for Lina, because he intended her to be a frequent visitor from now on.

  “Mi casa es su casa.” He turned to smile and swing her into his arms. It was too long since he’d kissed her.

  She laughed up at him. “I’m Italian, not Spanish.”

  “Merely bilingual, then? I’ll have to help you rectify that.”

  “I didn’t say I didn’t speak some Spanish—” She broke off and jerked her chin around to stare into the hallway. “What was that?”

  “What?” Then he heard it. A splash. Nothing made that sound on its own in his place. “Stay here.” He shoved his phone into her hand. “If you hear anything bad, get out and call the cops. Promise?”

  Worried, she gripped his shirt sleeve. “Shouldn’t we both do that? Just to be on the safe side?”

  He shook his head. “My mother has keys. She might have stopped by. But I’ll be careful, I promise.”

  His bathroom had two doors, one opening into his bedroom and the other into the hallway. Glad of the running shoes that made no noise, he sneaked up the hallway, careful to place his feet incrementally, steadily. He stood to one side of the bathroom door and heard another splash. Before he opened the door, he glanced up to make sure Lina was doing as he told her. He turned the knob and flung the door open.

  “Darling! I didn’t expect you home so soon. Did your meeting go well?”

  Lina must have seen the expression on his face morph from apprehension to exasperation because she strolled toward him, the tension leaving her own features. He turned his attention back to the woman in his bathtub. “What are you doing here, Alice? How did you get in?”

  “I have keys, remember?” She glanced at Lina and pouted. “I’m sorry, honey, but three’s a crowd, you know? I’m not into threesomes. You should know that by now, sweetie.” She turned her attention back to Jon, dismissing Lina’s presence as unimportant. “Hurry up, the water will get cold. Let me serve you, sweetheart.”

  Bubbles adorned her body artfully, not quite covering her. Her pale pink nipples skimmed the water line. She’d bundled her golden blond hair up untidily, so strands tumbled around her face. He wondered how long it had taken her to achieve that effect.

  If he wasn’t mistaken, the water was already cold. Goose bumps didn’t look good on her.

  Jon glanced at Lina. She looked at Alice, then at Jon, then back at Alice.

  Lina didn’t stare at him, she didn’t act appalled, and to his relief, she didn’t turn around and stalk out. Most of the women he knew would have taken that option, and he wouldn’t have blamed them. He wondered if Alice had stolen the key or if his mother had supplied it in one last-ditch effort to get him to see what he’d turned down. From where he stood, he was turning down very little. Even naked, Alice didn’t appeal to him. If she’d presented herself on a plate, he’d pass to the next dish.

  A slight breeze stirred his cheek as Lina strode past him and into the bathroom. He blinked, staring. Would he have to break up a catfight? Jesus, he hoped not.

  Lina pasted on a smile and her eyes glittered. Jon had no idea what she was going to do, but he leaned against the doorjamb and folded his arms, ready for the show. Ready to break them up if he had to.

  Lina crossed her arms in front of her body, grabbed the hem of her T-shirt and yanked it off over her head. She tossed it aside and gathered her hair in her hands at the back, coiling and twisting. “Move over, girlfriend. You say you don’t like threesomes, but I bet Jon and I can persuade you to like them.” She spared him a glance. She didn’t look aroused—her eyes glittered with fury, not desire, and her mouth was set in firm lines. “You can be the third, if you want. Lick my clit while Jon fucks me from behind. I don’t think I’ll let him have you, not this time. Maybe I’ll watch him fuck your ass later.”

  Alice jerked back and water sloshed over the edge of the tub. “What kind of slut do you think I am?”

  “The kind that strips and waits in a tub belonging to someone who hasn’t invited her. The kind that deserves everything she’s about to get. You want to serve, you get to serve. You get to watch Jon and me fuck until we can’t stand, but you don’t get to come. You get to lick me out, clean me after he’s had me. Then maybe I’ll let you give him head, teach you how to do it properly.” She unzipped her jeans and stepped out of her shoes.

  “What?” Alice tried one more time, pouting at Jon. “You can’t enjoy that kind of crude behavior! You can tell where she comes from, and what she expects. Did she learn those tricks on the streets?”

  Now that he knew they wouldn’t come to blows, he relaxed. He hadn’t enjoyed himself so much in a long time. “She probably learned them with people that your parents entertain at the dinner table.”

  Lina had turned what could have been embarrassing and awkward into farce. She turned to the vanity and opened the large cupboard. “Do you have any hair clips, Jon? I don’t really want to get this wet, not after the hairdresser slaved for hours over it. One of your girlfriends must have left something.” She made a pretense of hunting through the contents, not turning around when Alice climbed out of the tub with a great swoosh of water and bubbles. Alice let the bubbles slide off her body, watching Jon with a predatory avariciousness. She wasn’t about to give up. He stayed where he was.

  Lina turned from her search, a clip in her hand, and lifted it, securing her gleaming curls atop her head. He hoped she knew they wouldn’t stay up there too long. He could almost feel the strands caressing his body. That, unlike Alice’s cavorting, made his cock stir in his jeans. He took his attention away from Alice and walked around the other side of the tub, toward Lina. “You can see yourself out?” he said, without taking his attention away from the woman he wanted.

  A slap of bare feet against bare tile told him Alice was heading for his bedroom. A surge of anger took him unaware. If she’d done more than undress in there, he’d have the place fumigated. Right now he was so disgusted with her that he’d have told her what he really thought of her and thrown her out naked, suds and all. Lina had stopped him doing that. The damage Alice had done could be repaired.

  He held Lina and kissed her forehead. “Thank you. I’d have created an international incident.”

  She laughed. “She’s young. Younger than I ever was, I think. She’s had what she wants all her life. That get-up-and-go will help her one day.”

  “Not now.”

  “No, not now.”

  He tilted up her chin as they heard the front door slam. “You know I had nothing to do with that?”

  She grinned. “One look at your face told me. You were furious when you saw her.”

  He let his face relax into a smile. “I
was. And you defused it beautifully. Did you ever take part in anything like you described?”

  Her smile faded. “Do you really want to know?”

  “I want to know everything about you.”

  “No. No you don’t.” A shadow crossed her face and she tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her.

  “Yes, yes I do. But the rest will wait. So, did you?” He paused, seeing her distress in her eyes. “No, no, don’t tell me. You don’t have to.”

  She ignored his disclaimer. “Yes I do. I have to tell you, don’t I? The truth is—I don’t know. I don’t think so, though. I never walked the streets. It’s dangerous in Rome, anyway, without a protector from one of the families. But I’d have done it, if I’d needed to. I didn’t. I got odd jobs, you know, working in burger bars, waitressing. I wasn’t desperate, not until the end. I never lived on the streets, either, except for a few nights. Byron did. He had his favorite shelters, he’d trawl the streets and beg.”

  He frowned. “I thought you were together.”

  She shook her head. “Only at first. We kind of drifted apart. It wasn’t all Byron’s fault. I didn’t want to go on the streets, so I tried to make sure I had somewhere to sleep and some work. There are a lot of functioning addicts, you know.”

  He grunted agreement. “I know. I’ve met a few. I used to be jealous of Byron.”

  “I’m not surprised. Spoiled, loved, the golden boy. Except it was you all the time.”

  “Nice of you to say so.”

  “You have something he didn’t have. You’re sexy as hell.”

  She wouldn’t let him say any more, going on her toes to deliver a sizzling kiss. He fumbled for her bra, wanting to feel her naked again. Although barely half an hour had passed since they’d pleasured each other in the back of the store, he wanted her with a hunger he couldn’t understand. But then, understanding wasn’t needed right now. She tugged his bottom lip into her mouth and nipped, sucked.