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Smilla's Sense of Snow aka Miss Smilla's Feeling for Snow

Page 10

by Peter Høeg


  "He could leap like a flea," says the mechanic, daydreaming. "He was sly. He'd turn halfway around in the air and land on one foot. He'd walk back in his own footprints."

  He looks at me, shaking his head. "But you guessed right every time."

  "How long were they gone?"

  The jackhammers on Knippels Bridge. The traffic starting up. The seagulls. The distant bass sound, actually more like a deep vibration, of the first hydrofoil to Sweden. The short toots on the horn of the Bornholm ferry as it turns in front of Amalienborg Palace. It's almost morning.

  "Maybe several hours. But a different car brought him home. A cab. He always came back alone in a cab."

  He makes us an omelet while I stand in the doorway telling him about the Institute of Forensic Medicine. About Professor Loyen. About Lagermann. About the trace of something that might be a muscle biopsy, taken from a child. After he fell.

  He slices onions and tomatoes, sautes them in butter, whips the egg whites until they're stiff, blends in the egg yolks, and cooks the whole thing on both sides. He takes the pan over to the table. We drink milk and eat slices of a moist black rye bread that smells of tar.

  We eat in silence. Whenever I eat with strangers-like now-or if I'm very hungry-like now-I am reminded of the ritual significance of meals. In my childhood I remember associating the solemnity of companionship with great gustatory experiences. The pink, slightly frothy whale blubber eaten from a communal platter. The feeling that practically everything in life is meant to be shared.

  I get up.

  He's standing in the door as if to block my way.

  I think about the inadequacy of what he has told me today.

  He steps aside. I walk past. With my boots and my fur coat in my hand.

  "I'll leave part of the report. It'll be good practice for your dyslexia."

  There's a look of mischief in his eyes. "Smilla. Why is it that such an elegant and petite girl like you has such a rough voice?"

  "I'm sorry," I say, "if I give you the impression that it's only my mouth that's rough. I do my best to be rough all over."

  Then I close the door.

  11

  I slept all morning and got up a little late, so I only have an hour and a half to take a shower, get dressed, and put on my funeral makeup, which is far too little time, as anyone who has tried to make herself look good will confirm. That's why I'm feeling flustered when we arrive at the chapel, and after the service I still feel that way. As I'm walking along beside the mechanic, I feel as if someone had screwed off my lid and plunged a, big bottle washer up and down inside.

  Something warm falls over my shoulders. He has taken off his coat and put it around me. It reaches all the way down to my feet.

  We stop and look back toward the grave and our own footprints. His are big, run over at the heels. Apparently he's slightly bow-legged, though it's hardly visible. Tiny perforations from my high heels. They look rather like deer tracks. A slanted, downward-sloping movement, and in the bottom of the track black marks where the hooves have pierced through the layer of snow to the ground.

  The women walk past us. I see only their boots and shoes. Three of them are holding up Juliane; the tips of her shoes drag across the snow. Next to the pastor's robes there is a pair of black boots made of embroidered leather. Above the gate out to the road there is a streetlight. When I look up, the woman lifts her head and tosses it so that her long hair flies to one side in the darkness and her face catches the light, a white face with big eyes, like dark water amid the pallor. She's holding the pastor by the arm and talking to him earnestly. Something about those two figures next to each other freezes the image and makes it stick in my mind.

  "Miss Jaspersen."

  It's Ravn. With friends. Two men wearing coats as big as his, but who can fill them out. Underneath they're wearing blue suits and white shirts and ties, and sunglasses so that the winter dusk at four o'clock in the afternoon won't hurt their eyes.

  "I'd like to have a word with you."

  "At the office of the fraud division? About my investments?"

  He listens without reacting. He has a face which, over the years, has seen so much that nothing really leaves a mark on it anymore. He motions toward his car.

  "I'm not sure I feel like it right now."

  He doesn't budge an inch. But his two lodge brothers ooze imperceptibly closer.

  "Smilla, if you don't f-feel like it, I don't think you should go."

  It's the mechanic. He's blocking the men's path. When animals-and almost all normal people-face a physical threat, their bodies go rigid. From a physiological standpoint it's not efficient, but it's the general rule. Polar bears are the exception. They can lie in wait, perfectly relaxed, for two hours without once releasing the heightened readiness of their muscles. Now I realize that the mechanic is also an exception. His posture is almost loose. But there is a physical ferocity in his focus on the men in front of him which reminds me once again how little I know about him.

  It has no detectable effect on Ravn. But it makes the two men in blue suits take a step back, as they unbutton their jackets. It could be that they're too hot. It could be that they share a nervous tic. It could also be that they both have a blackjack with a lead core.

  "Will I be driven home?"

  "Right to your door."

  In the car I sit in the back with Ravn. At one point I lean forward and take off the driver's sunglasses.

  "I'm silent as the grave, you little shit," I say. "My lips are sealed with seven seals. Ravn won't hear from me that you were sleeping on the job. At six-thirty in the morning on Kabbeleje Road."

  At the Police Headquarters we drive in between the red brick buildings where the Division of Motor Vehicles has its offices. We're heading for a low red barracks facing the harbor.

  There's no sign on the building. We meet no one. There's no tapping of typewriters. There are no nameplates on the doors. There is simply peace and quiet. Like in a reading room. Or in the morgue beneath the Institute of Forensic Medicine.

  The two blue choirboys have vanished. We enter a dark office. There are venetian blinds on the windows. Through the blinds you can see the electric lights, the docks, the water, the Iceland Wharf.

  It's a room that must get a lot of light in the daytime. There's nothing much else in it. Nothing on the walls. Nothing on the tables. Nothing on the windowsills.

  Ravn turns on the light. In the corner a man is sitting on a chair. He has been sitting and waiting in the dark. Sinewy, with close-cropped, almost plush black hair, distant blue eyes, and a harsh mouth. He is meticulously dressed.

  Ravn sits down behind the desk.

  "Smilla Jaspersen," he introduces me. "Captain Telling."

  I am facing the two men with my back to the windows.

  There are no cigarettes, no coffee in plastic cups, no tape recorder, and no bare light bulb, no mood of interrogation. There is only an atmosphere of waiting.

  In this atmosphere I withdraw into myself.

  Into the silence steps a woman carrying a tray with tea, sugar, milk, and lemon slices, all on white porcelain. Afterward the abandoned building swallows her up and she is gone. Ravn pours the tea.

  He takes a folder out of a drawer. It's pink. He reads it slowly. As if he wants to try-again-to experience it for the first time.

  "Smilla Qaavigaaq Jaspersen. Born June 16, 1956, in Qaanaaq. Parents: Ane Qaavigaaq, hunter, and Dr. Jorgen Moritz Jaspersen, physician. Attended grade school in Greenland and Copenhagen. Graduated from Birkerod High School, 1976. Courses at the H. C. S6rsted Institute and the Geographical Institute in Copenhagen. Glacial morphology, statistics, and fundamental problems of mathematics. Trips to West Greenland and Thule in 75, '76, and '77. Planned the outfitting of Danish and French expeditions to North Greenland in '78, '79, and '80. In 1982 employed by the Geodetic Institute. From '82 to '85 scientific participant in expeditions to the ice cap, the. Arctic Ocean, and Arctic North America. Various references are attached.
One from Major Guldbrandsen, who led the Sirius Patrol. It dates back to '79. He complains that you won't drive a dog team. Are you afraid of dogs?"

  "Just cautious."

  "But he adds that he would recommend any civilian expedition to take you along as navigator, even if they have to carry you on their backs. Then there are your scientific articles. A dozen or so, several published abroad. With titles that go over the heads of Captain Telling and me. 'Statistics on Glacial Graphology.' 'Mathematical Models for Brine Drainage from Seawater Ice.' And a compendium for students that you once wrote: Main Characteristics of the Glacial, Morphology of North Greenland."

  He closes the report.

  "There are various other references. From teachers. From colleagues at the U.S. Army's Cold Water Laboratory in some place called Pylot Island. All of them state unanimously that if you want to know anything about ice, you will benefit by consulting Smilla Jaspersen."

  Ravn takes off his coat. Underneath he's as thin as a pipe cleaner. I take off my shoes and pull up my legs to sit cross-legged on the chair so I can massage my toes. They're numb from the cold, and there are still clumps of ice in my stockings.

  "This information is largely identical with the curriculum vitae you submitted when you applied for a visa to North Greenland in connection with the Norwegian Arctic Institute's expedition to tag polar bears. We've sniffed around a little. The information is absolutely correct. On this basis, I think we have to assume that we are dealing with a very independent young woman who has unusual resources which she has administered with ambition and talent. Don't you agree that's the conclusion one ought to arrive at?"

  "You can arrive at any conclusion you like," I say.

  "I've also obtained several other pieces of information, however."

  This folder is quite thin, and dark green.

  "This is largely identical with the report that Captain Telling and his office had at their disposal when they stamped DENIED on your last application for a visa to North Greenland. It starts off by summarizing several private matters. Your mother reported missing on June 12, 1963, while hunting. Presumed dead. Your brother commits suicide in September of '81 in Upernavik. Parents married 1956, divorced 1958. Custody transferred to the father after the mother's death. Contested by the mother's brother but denied by the Ministry of Justice in May 1964. To Denmark in September 1963. Reported missing, searched for, and found by the police six times between '63 and '71, twice in Greenland.

  "Danish grade school for immigrants, 1963. Skovgards School in Charlottenlund, '64-'6S. Expelled. Stenh¢j Boarding School in Humlebaek, '6S-'67. Expelled. Then come brief terms at smaller private schools. Graduated from junior high after private instruction at home. Then. high school. Took the senior year over. High-school diploma 1976 after private instruction. Admitted to Copenhagen University. Drops out in 1984 without a degree. And then there's the political activity. Arrested several times during the occupation of the Ministry of the Environment by the Council of Young Greenlanders. Active in the founding of IA after the CYG split."

  He gives Captain Telling an inquisitive look.

  "Inuit Ataqatigiit. 'Those who will succeed.' Aggressive Marxism." This is the first time the captain has spoken.

  "Leaves the party the same year because of numerous disagreements. Since then unaffiliated. Then there are some minor infractions. Three unresolved cases dealing with breaches of Canadian territorial law on Peary Sound. Why?"

  "I was tagging polar bears. Bears can't read maps, so they don't respect national boundaries."

  "Several minor traffic violations. A verdict of defamation of character in connection with an article entitled 'Ice Research and the Profit Motive in Denmark in Connection with the Exploitation of Oil Resources in the Arctic Ocean.' As a result excluded from the Danish Glaciology Society."

  He looks up.

  "Is there any institution you haven't been thrown out of, Miss Jaspersen?"

  "As far as I know, I'm still listed in the national registry of citizens."

  "In addition, we have also had a look over the shoulders of the tax authorities and public administration. A little comes in from your articles, sporadic jobs, and state support. But it doesn't seem to match your expenses. We wonder if you have a patron. How's your relationship with your father?"

  "Warm and respectful."

  "That might explain a lot. Captain Telling has had a look at his tax returns, you see."

  For me, it's no news that they know all this. Ever since the establishment of Thule Air Base, there has been a limit to how many civilian passengers each aircraft could take to Greenland. To give the intelligence service time to investigate whether everybody had been confirmed in the Lutheran Church, came from a good family, and had been ideologically immunized against the red fever from the East. What's astonishing is that they're telling me what they know.

  "This information presents a more complicated picture. It paints a portrait of a woman who has never finished a course of study. Who is unemployed. Who has no family. Who has created conflict wherever she has been. Who has never been able to fit in. Who is aggressive. And who vacillates around political extremes. And yet you have managed to take part in nine expeditions in twelve years. I don't know Greenland, but I imagine that if you're frustrated with your life, it would be easier to hide out on the ice cap."

  I make no comment. But I file it in the black book under his name.

  "Each time on these expeditions you have served as navigator. Each time they have made use of confidential map material, satellite and radar photos, and meteorological observations supplied by the military. Nine times in the course of the last twelve years you have signed a declaration of secrecy and confidentiality. All of which we have copies of."

  I'm beginning to have an idea where he's heading, what the main point is.

  "In a little country like ours, you are a sensitive issue, Miss Jaspersen. You have seen and heard a lot. Which automatically happens when you're allowed into North Greenland. But you have a past and a character which would have ensured that you would not have been permitted to see or hear anything if you had found yourself in any other place inside Danish territory."

  The circulation is starting to return to my feet. "Anyone with even a smidgen of common sense would keep a very low profile in your position."

  "Is it my clothes you don't like?"

  "What we don't like is your fruitless or outright damaging attempts to meddle in the investigation of the case, which I already promised you I would look into."

  Of course this is the direction we've been heading all along.

  "Yes," I say, "I remember what you promised me. Back when you were still working for the district attorney of Copenhagen."

  "Miss Smilla," he says quite gently, "we can throw you in the slammer at any time. Do you understand me? We can give you solitary confinement, an isolation tank whenever we feel like it. No judge would hesitate, after he saw your dossier."

  From the start, this meeting has been about authenticity. He wanted to show me what he's capable of. That he can obtain information that I sent to Greenland's government and to the military. That he can follow my movements. That he has access to any archives. And that at any time he can summon an intelligence officer at six o'clock in the evening at Christmastime. And he has done all this so I won't have a shadow of a doubt that he can lock me up at any moment.

  He has succeeded. Now I know what he can do. That he will have his way. Because underneath his threat lies a deeper layer of knowledge. Which he now drags into the light.

  "Imprisonment," he says slowly, "in a little soundproof room with no windows is, I've been told, particularly uncomfortable when you've grown up in Greenland."

  There is no sadism in him. Merely a precise and perhaps faintly melancholy understanding of the instruments at his disposal.

  There are no prisons in Greenland. The greatest difference in the administration of the law in Copenhagen and in Nuuk is that in Greenland the punishment is m
ore often a fine for offenses which in Denmark would have resulted in imprisonment. The Greenlandic hell is not the European rocky landscape with pools of sulfur. The Greenlandic hell is the locked room. In my memories of my childhood it seemed as though we were never indoors. Living in the same place for a long time was unthinkable for my mother. I feel the same way about my spatial freedom as I've noticed men feel about their testicles. I cradle it like a baby, and worship it like a goddess.

  I've reached the end of the road in my investigation of Isaiah's death.

  We stand up. We haven't touched our cups. The tea has grown cold.

  Part Two

  The City

  1

  You can try to cover up depression in various ways. You can listen to Bach's compositions for the organ in Our Saviour's Church. You can arrange a line of good cheer in powder form on a pocket mirror with a razor blade and ingest it with a straw. You can call for help. For instance, by telephone, so that you know who's listening.

  That's the European method. Hoping to work your way out of problems through action.

  I take the Greenlandic way. It consists of submerging yourself in the dark mood. Putting your defeat under a microscope and dwelling on the sight.

  When things are really bad-like now-I picture a black tunnel in front of me. I go up to it. I strip off my nice clothes, my underwear, my hard hat, my Danish passport, and then I walk into the dark.

  I know that a train is coming. A lead-lined steam loconxotive transporting strontium 90. I go to meet it.

  It's possible for me to do this because I'm thirty-seven years old. I know that inside the tunnel, underneath the wheels, down between the ties, there is a little spot of light.

  It's the morning of Christmas Eve. For several days I've been gradually withdrawing from the world. Now I'm preparing for the final descent. Which has to come. Because I have allowed myself to be cowed by Ravn. Because I am failing Isaiah. Because I can't get my father out of my thoughts. Because I don't know what I'm going to say to the mechanic. Because it feels as if I'm never going to get any smarter.

 

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