First Kiss

by Dawn Michelle

  Beth licked her lips. "Um, I don't know? Any, I guess, as long as it's stylish. Sexy, you know? I like boots, I guess."

  Carla nodded. "Dominant or a pushover?"

  "What?"

  "Oh wow," Beth said. She giggled at the thought. "I don't know. Maybe some of each? I mean, for a guy I guess he can't be too pushy or it'll freak me out. I don't like not being in control."

  Carla nodded. "Okay, I've got it."

  "What?"

  "You need to date a gay guy. Stylish, metro, mellow and open minded. Except they can be high maintenance."

  "Oh my god!"

  Carla shrugged. "That or you're into girls, but you haven't come onto me yet so I know you can't be."

  Beth's stomached dropped far enough she thought it might hit her bed and go through to the floor. "What?"

  "Well come on, I'm fun, athletic, but very girly. Chicks into chicks dig me, but I don't dig back."

  Beth blinked and shook her head. She didn't want that. She'd put her fascination with another woman behind her. Crystal was in her past and she was never coming out of it. She noticed Carla's eyes as she stared at her and realized she had to say something— anything— to keep her from guessing. "I can't believe you said that," she managed.

  Carla laughed. "I've been hit on before. It's hard to be modest sometimes."

  Beth chuckled with her and sighed. "I'm going to call Colin and see what he's up to. Maybe tomorrow night he can change my mind."

  "Good idea," Carla said. "If he can't, I might know a couple of gays you can hang out with. You know, become a fag hag."

  Beth flipped her off. "I'm going to take a shower. I hope you find something better to do than harass your roommate before I get back."

  Chapter 8

  Beth opened the door to her dorm room and forced a smile on her face. Vanessa was leaving her bedroom and glanced up at her. "Hey Beth! Ready to— did you wear that outside? Aren't you cold?"

  Beth reached up and pulled her hood back. She took off her sunglasses and shrugged. "No, I'm good. It's not that cold out."

  "Girl, you're crazy," Vanessa hissed. "It's like twelve degrees out and blowing like a crack whore that needs a fix."

  Beth blinked a few times and then laughed. She brushed the snowflakes that hadn't melted off her hoodie. "Blowing like a crack whore that needs a fix? I'll have to remember that."

  "Remember to put a winter jacket on next time too! I can't believe you can still feel your fingers!"

  "Yes, mom," Beth teased her suitemate. "So are you guys still going clubbing?"

  "Hellz yeah! You can come too, just ditch what's-his-name and hang with us."

  Beth slipped her plastic smile back on and shook her head. "Colin and I are good. Going to try again."

  "Okay, but if it's a flop send us a text. We'll hook up and make you forget all about him."

  Beth nodded and made her way into her room. Carla jerked her head up and grunted before she went back to struggling with the button on her jeans.

  "Seriously, you don't need to wear pants that tight."

  "They aren't," Carla wheezed. "It's this damn school food."

  Beth opened and shut her mouth. She turned away, shaking her head, and pulled her hoodie over her head. She hung it from a hanger next to her bed and heard Carla whoop in delight when she finally managed to button her pants. Beth turned and smirked at her. "Careful you don't split them when you sit down."

  Carla managed to bounce to her feet and worked on stretching her jeans out. "No sitting tonight," she agreed. "Just dancing."

  "Hope you don't have to pee," Beth teased.

  "Oh god, that would suck," Carla admitted. "Okay, no drinking."

  Beth shook her head and went to her dresser to pick out her outfit. She started with the underwear and frowned. All she had was frumpy clothes, nothing sexy. Not that it mattered anyhow, Colin had made other plans. They rescheduled for tomorrow, but she didn't want her friends knowing she'd waited too long and got stood up.

  "What's wrong?" Carla asked when she hesitated too long.

  "What? Oh, nothing," Beth said.

  "Bullshit," the feisty Latina argued. "Spill it."

  Beth sighed. She couldn't tell her the real reason. She'd planned on staying in and enjoying some quiet time with herself. Watch a movie or spend time on her computer. Maybe have a little one on one time. She still liked the thought of getting dressed up though, that was always fun. Especially now that she was getting her body closer to where she wanted it.

  Her weight loss wouldn't last. It couldn't, it was too much and there was no reason for it. As soon as she was over whatever bug was biting her she was sure she'd put the weight back on. It had to be water weight, nobody lost that kind of weight without serious health issues. She felt fine. Tired maybe, but fine other than that.

  "Beth?"

  "My clothes," Beth blurted, lacking a better explanation. "I'm getting where I want to be but my clothes are all fat girl clothes."

  "You weren't fat," Carla reprimanded. "You were healthy and a lot of guys like a girl with some meat on their bones. That way they know they won't break you."

  Beth snorted.

  "Tell you what, let's look at my underwear."

  "No!" Beth gasped.

  "Not what I'm wearing. In my drawer."

  "That's not much better," Beth said.

  "They're clean!" Carla insisted. "You know damn well I wash my shit."

  Beth frowned but her hesitation proved to Carla that she was wavering.

  "Come on," Carla dragged her across the room to her small dresser. She opened it up the top drawer and started pushing things around. She bumped something black that was solid and made it thud against the side of the drawer.

  "Oh my god!" Beth hissed. "You've got a vibrator!"

  Carla looked at her. "You mean you don't?"

  "What? I— no!"

  Carla shrugged. "Your loss. And don't think you can use mine. That's crossing the line."

  "Eww!"

  The Latina smiled. She grabbed something skimpy. She pressed it into Beth's hand and said, "Good. Now try these on."

  "I am not—" Beth fell silent when she saw the shimmering black underwear in her hand. The front panel shimmered in the light almost like snakeskin. "I've never worn a thong."

  Carla grinned. "Try it. Personally, I don't like this style."

  "You wear thongs all the time!" Beth protested.

  Carla's mouth dropped. "Oh do I? So you do check me out."

  "No! I mean, you don't own anything that doesn't show your butt crack. Kind of hard not to notice your underwear sticking out." Beth sputtered and then saw the twinkle in Carla's eye.

  "Chill, girl, I'm messing. You're right, but I don't like the wide thong, it feels weird having that much back there."

  Beth blinked a few times and stared at it. "I don't get it."

  Carla turned and pulled out another pair, this one white and with a lace front panel that left nothing to the imagination. She held up the back string to show it off. "See this? Hardly anything there. Feels much better than having that wide strip of cloth jammed up your crack."

  "Oh my god," Beth mumbled. She shook her head, unable to imagine what either felt like.

  "Besides, sometimes the thong string rubs in the right places and helps get me more in the mood."

  The room felt hot and Beth wasn't sure if she was going to lose her balance or not. "Rubs? What do you mean?"

  "You know, back there."

  "Your butt crack?"

  "Yes. Well, and, you know. Back there."

  Beth sucked in a breath of air. "Oh my god!"

  Carla's grin widened. "You want to try these instead?"

  Beth's neck popped she shook her head so fast. Her roommate laughed and put them back in her dresser drawer. "Try them on."

  "Right now?"

  Carla sighed and turned around. "There, now do it."

  Beth dropped her eyes to the racy underwear in her hand and nodded. She was going to tr
y it. After the weight came back on there was no telling when she'd fit into something like this again! She scrambled to drop her loose fitting jeans and then, after a split second if indecision, pushed her full bottom underwear to the floor. She stepped out of them and into the new ones.

  "This feels weird," she said a moment later. The fabric was stiff because of the material and a little rough against her skin. In the back the pressure and presence of the strap pressed against her. It did feel odd, but it excited her too. It reminded her that she was doing something she'd never done before.

  "Looks good to me," Carla said. "Except, um, you can't wear something like that without trimming up a little better. I know it's winter and all, but—"

  Beth's hands flew to her crotch, blocking Carla's view. "You're supposed to be turned around!"

  Carla frowned. "How can I tell you how good it looks on you if I don't see it?"

  "But— but—"

  "Grab your razor and trim it up. You want to impress Colin, right?"

  "Oh my god," Beth groaned.

  "Might be quicker to shave the whole thing," Carla said. "That's all you though."

  "Carla, stop it!"

  The Latina shrugged. "You're call, girl. I'm out of here though."

  "Jesus!" Beth yelped as Carla walked passed her and reached for the door. She grabbed her pants and pulled them up in front of her as the door opened. Carla flashed her a smile and then pulled the door shut. Beth was left standing with her heart pounding and her pants in her hands.

  She stood, overwhelmed with fear that the door would open as soon as she put her pants down. If somebody saw her, especially if she had hair sticking out the side of her borrowed underwear, she'd never live it down. Instead her hesitation earned her the satisfaction of hearing the door to their dorm suite shut. She was alone.

  Beth waited several more seconds until she let out a big sigh and tossed her pants on the bed. She was tempted to join them, but stopped and walked over to her roommate's full size mirror. She picked her t-shirt up and lifted it so she could see the shimmering black underwear on her. It was indecent, just like she thought. Tufts of curly dark brown hair poked out the sides and top, bringing a flush to her cheeks.

  "Shower time, I guess," she mumbled to herself. But then what? Colin was out and if she was taking a shower it seemed a waste to stay in on a Friday night. She should be exhausted, but she wasn't. All afternoon she'd felt more and more awake. It was cloudy out too, sparing her from a miserable headache on her way back from class.

  She grabbed her bag off her desk and rummaged through it to find her phone. She opened up the messages and typed out a message to Carla, "Plans changed, where r u guys?"

  She hesitated before hitting send. She tilted her head and turned slowly, until she was staring at herself in the mirror. She was turned so she could see her naked leg all the way up to her hip and the bottom of her t-shirt. It hung low enough to hide the waistband of her underwear. The angle kept the thong hidden too, making her look like she wasn't wearing anything but her t-shirt and socks. She lifted her right leg, sliding her foot up her other leg and giggling at her crazy behavior. When she couldn't lift it any further she put her phone down on her desk and moved her hand to help her balance while she extended the bent leg at the knee and reached down with her right hand to help guide her leg up until it was nearly straight up and down. It was a dancer's pose, one she'd seen when she was a little kid taking ballet lessons.

  She'd seen it more recently though. Last week, in fact. A shiny brass pole had been pressed against the dancer's skin. Beth turned, pivoting on the ball of her left foot, and watched in the mirror as the curve of her hips and butt revealed the inch wide strip of fabric. With her leg stretched it pressed against her, tickling her sensitive skin and causing her breath to catch in her throat.

  Beth lowered her leg slowly and clenched her cheeks together, dimpling them. Her muscles showed in the mirror, rewarding her for all the work in the gym she'd done. The clenching muscles pushed the thong against her too, itching a little and stimulating her in ways she wasn't used to. She bit her lip and looked down at the unsent message on her phone.

  "Maybe," she breathed before clearing the screen and locking the phone out. She needed that shower first. After that she'd see how she felt. She was thirsty again and she knew water or soda wouldn't help her. Neither would a beer or fruity cocktail at a club that she'd have to sneak. What she wanted only one place had, and only one person knew how to make it.

  Beth nodded and tugged on a pair of running pants. She stripped her socks off and stepped into a pair of sandals before grabbing her shower bag. She did a quick check to make sure she had shaving cream and a fresh razor. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, exactly, but she knew where she wanted to go.

  Chapter 9

  "Hey, Beth, right?"

  Beth looked up at the blond girl in the locker room. She was wearing a towel that was cinched too high above her small breasts. The result left her crotch and ass on display. Beth wondered if she even wondered about the extra draft down below. Then again, she'd seen her wearing skirts short enough she was probably used to it. "Hi Heather. Yes, I'm Beth."

  "Wow! I thought so but I wasn't sure. You look great!"

  Beth glanced around. The only other women in the locker room were in the showers. "Um, thanks."

  "I mean it! You've lost a lot of weight this year. How did you do it?"

  "What? Oh, um, exercise and eating less crappy food," Beth said. It wasn't a lie, that was how she'd done it. Prior to this week. This week it had been a matter of hardly sleeping or eating much of anything. "Why, you're already skinny."

  Heather snorted and untucked her towel. She unrolled it and held it in one hand while she turned around. "Hardly! My ass is flat and flabby and I've got muffin top."

  Beth blinked and looked away. She didn't mention her boobs looked kind of sad and small, but at least she wouldn't have to worry about sagging for a long time. "Um, I think you look fine."

  Heather tilted her head and shrugged. She wrapped her towel around herself again. "You didn't have, like, some kind of medicine or anything?"

  "No. Exercise and diet."

  The blond snorted. " Whatever. I don't have time to deal with that. You look great though. I mean, I bet with all the weight you lost you've got extra skin, but that'll tighten up in time, right?"

  Beth sucked in a breath through her nose. She licked her lips and considered pulling her shirt off to shut her up. Her breasts had gotten smaller, but they were still watermelons compared to the grapes Heather had. Well, maybe grapefruit. Whatever.

  "Oh man, and always worrying that if you're not counting calories you might gain it back. That would suck. I'm so glad I've got good genetics."

  Beth shook her head. "Yeah, lucky you," she said before ducking out of the locker room and heading back to her room. She felt her face burning the entire way so she kept her eyes on the hall floor so no one would notice.

  Back in her bedroom she dropped her shower bag on the desk and fell on her bed. She let her breathe out in a giant sigh followed by, "What the fuck is her problem?"

  She shook her head and climbed out of bed. Her shirt and running pants hit the ground a moment later, leaving her nude in front of the mirror. She stared at herself and reached up to cup and then pull on her boobs. They were full and firm and pointing up. She didn't even have any stretch marks, which didn't seem right. She leaned towards the mirror and looked closer. She used to have stretch marks, where had they gone? Could they disappear? Be absorbed back in, maybe?

  Beth shook her head. Whatever was happening to her, it was a good thing. The exercise was paying off, but she knew another week with only a few tasteless snacks each day wouldn't be enough. Heather might be a raging thundercunt, but she was right about one thing, Beth did need to be careful about gaining it back.

  She shook it off and pulled Carla's panties back out. She bit her lip and slid them up her legs. She stopped and gasped at how the s
tiff material felt against her skin. She'd shaved herself bare. Not just the front, her obsessive compulsive nature kept her going and she stretched and contorted to shave every nook and cranny she could find. Her skin felt as smooth and soft as a baby. She'd been worried about the water, it was barely warm even when she cranked the hot all the way up. It lasted her entire shower though, sparing her from rushing and having to try and shave over goose bumps.

  She adjusted the thong a few times and realized she was biting her lip and fidgeting with it more than she needed to. She sighed and wondered why Colin had to be busy tonight. She'd taken too long to get back to him, she knew that, but damn it, she was feeling like maybe things could work out with them. She'd even give him another blowjob if he wanted.

  Beth shook the thoughts from her head. That wasn't an option. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. His frat was having a party and he wanted her to come. There'd be enough people there she knew she'd be safe. On the other hand, that might make hard to get him alone.

  Beth gasped and looked at herself in the mirror. "You slut," she chastised herself. She saw herself grinning in response.

  Beth shook her head and went back to her clothes. She was going out. Fuck it. And she knew where, come hell or high water. She found a dark red pleated skirt and grabbed a one shoulder white shirt. The waist of the shirt was cut horizontal like the top was, exposing her midriff on her left side. She wished she had a belly button ring to flash and sparkle when the shirt moved and exposed it.

  Beth didn't have a strapless bra so she decided to go without one. It was as much a fuck you to Heather as it was anything else. She slipped on a black half jacket and put it over her shirt. All she needed was some leggings or pantyhose. Except she didn't want to wear those. She wanted to be free. She wanted to feel like she was really living. Just for once, to try and be somebody different. Somebody confident and sexy.

  That meant her hair and makeup had to be good too. She went through her makeup and then glanced at Carla's. Her roommate had more colors. Darker colors. Sexier colors. She nodded and switched to Carla's desk. It made sense, the mirror was right in front of her that way.