Sophie and Jake (Passports and Promises)

by Abigail Drake

  The next morning, she was dressed and ready to go before anyone else had even woken up. I came downstairs and saw her waiting in the great room, her little suitcase next to her on the floor, her face pale.

  “Good morning,” I said, and tried to give her a hug. For the first time ever, she didn’t return it. She backed away, keeping her eyes averted.

  “It seems like the roads are okay,” she said. “Can you take me home soon?”

  “Of course,” I said, swallowing hard. “Already?”

  She nodded. “Yes. Please.”

  We left a note for my parents. Sophie insisted on thanking them for a wonderful weekend, and apologized for leaving before they got up. They didn’t deserve her kindness, especially my mom, but Sophie refused to be impolite. She didn’t have it in her.

  The ride to back to her house was quiet and tense. By the time we pulled into her driveway, I wanted to scream. I shut off the car, and turned to face her. “We need to talk.”

  She gave me the saddest most heartbreaking look I’d ever seen. “There is nothing to say. I love you more than anything, and I know you love me, too, but I won’t be the one to cause your mother even more pain. She’s going through hell right now, and, fair or not, I’m making things worse for her. I need to back off, or she’s going to hate me forever.”

  Fear coiled in my chest at her words. “What do you mean?”

  She touched me cheek as tears rolled unchecked down her face. “It means we shouldn’t see each other for a while. Until things resolve with your brother, at least.”

  Now I was the one who wanted to cry, but I managed to keep it in, to maintain control of my emotions. “No, Sophie,” I said softly. “Please don’t do this.”

  “I have to, Jake. It’s for the best. Trust me.”

  She kissed me, her lips salty from her tears, and then she ran out of the car and into her house without looking back. Not even once.

  Chapter 23

  ~Sophie~

  It was the longest, coldest, most miserable January of my life. I couldn’t tell if it was the weather alone, or my emotions making it seem so much worse. Dark and dreary. Dismal. Hopeless.

  Jake called and texted and begged me to meet with him, but I couldn’t. It hurt more than I ever imagined, but his mom needed him right now. I needed him, too, but being selfish would only make things worse.

  The truth was I didn’t want to face Mrs. Hunter again after what happened in the cabin. It had been the worst and most embarrassing moment in my life, and I felt like I ruined everything. Forever. The harder I tried, the worse it got, for me and for Jake.

  I couldn’t stop communicating with him, though, through our nightly calls and texts. I allowed myself that one last connection to him. Without it, I’m not sure what I would have done.

  Dylan seemed to be on a downward spiral. Jake said little to me about it, and I got most of my information from my mother. She remained friends with Mrs. Hunter, speaking with her almost daily. I never told her what happened at the cabin, and I assumed Mrs. Hunter hadn’t either. It became our dirty little secret.

  Not that I thought there was anything dirty about what occurred between Jake and me. Far from it. I replayed each moment, each touch, over and over again in my head, treating each memory like a priceless treasure. I missed him so much, it almost felt like physical pain, but I’d been serious about what I said. I refused to be the cause of issues between Jake and his mother. He meant too much to me, and I couldn’t allow it to happen.

  “It’s a weird circle we have going here,” said Jake one night. I was in my bed, curled up on my side, missing him so much I thought my heart might break in two.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “Well, my mom is mad at you, because you remind her of what happened between Dylan and Sam, but she isn’t mad at Sam.”

  “I know. And she isn’t mad at my mother, either. Only me.”

  I drew the short stick with Mrs. Hunter. Part of me wanted to scream at her for doing this, but another part of me kind of understood where she was coming from. She couldn’t protect Dylan from the repercussions of falling in love with my sister, but she hoped to save Jake from me. Warped? Yep. And yet, on a certain level, I saw the skewed logic behind it.

  “And I’m mad at Dylan,” he said.

  “You are? Why?”

  There was a long pause. When he spoke, his voice sounded tense and strange. “Because he should be able to snap out of this by now, but he can’t. Because he’s breaking my parents’ hearts. Because he’s making it impossible for me to be with the only girl I’ve ever cared about. The only girl I could ever care about.”

  I hugged the phone against my cheek, tears stinging my eyes. “It’s not his fault.”

  “It’s not your fault either.”

  After we hung up, I checked the calendar on my phone to see what was coming up in school. Several big assignments were due, and I wanted to get a jump on them. But, as I stared at it, I noticed something that made me feel ill.

  Each month, I marked the day my period was due with a little red “x,” and each month, it started on the day I marked. Like clockwork. This month, however, something kind of weird had happened. According to the little “x,” my period should have started three days ago.

  “Holy moly,” I muttered to myself under my breath. I went back to the previous month to double check and make sure I’d counted correctly. No mistake. I was late.

  I put my hand on my head. What was I going to do?

  I sank back on my pillows and thought about it. I’d never been late before, but I couldn’t jump to conclusions. I looked at the calendar on my phone again, and counted once more. Yep, I was late, and Jake and I had sex exactly two weeks ago.

  “But I’m on the freaking pill,” I muttered to myself.

  Jake had brought condoms, but I insisted on doing it without them. I thought we were safe. How could this happen?

  I grabbed the information that came with my birth control prescription. It was a lot of data, and the writing was super small, but one thing stuck out to me.

  “It’s supposed to be 99.9% effective. There is no way I’m pregnant.”

  I knew the pill didn’t prevent STDs, but Jake and I were both virgins. I thought there was zero risk of anything bad happening. I wanted it to feel spontaneous and natural. Could I be in the tiny percentage of people who got pregnant using the pill? Like winning the lottery, but in a bad way?

  Frustrated with trying to read the tiny writing in the packet, I went online, Googling questions about the pill’s effectiveness. I read something that made my heart jump in my chest.

  Antibiotics made the pill less effective. Oh, no.

  Strep throat. I’d taken antibiotics over Christmas. Could the antibiotics result…in this?

  I wrapped my arms around myself and rocked back and forth. What was I going to do? I wasn’t ready to be a mother, and I knew Jake wasn’t ready to be a father. And Mrs. Hunter? She’d think I planned it. She’d assume I lied about being on the pill or something in order to trap her son. Reality couldn’t be more different, but I knew what she’d think. She hated me already. This would make it all so much worse.

  I picked up my phone, wondering whom I could call to talk about this. Sam was in Japan, and she had no idea I was even dating Jake. I couldn’t talk about it with her. I didn’t want to tell any of my friends. I hadn’t told them Jake and I slept together. It was too private, too personal. It was just between Jake and me.

  I thought briefly about telling my mom, but I knew she’d freak out, and my dad would definitely lose it. Not what I wanted to deal with right now.

  I grabbed a pillow and held it close, hugging it. I wanted to talk to Jake, but I knew I couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair. I would wait until I knew for sure, one way or another, and only then would I tell him.

  I let out a long slow breath. I’d have to buy a test tomorrow. I was terrified to take it, to find out if I was pregnant, but something else scared me even m
ore.

  In my heart of hearts, I knew if I were pregnant, this baby was the result of both Jake and me, and what we felt for each other. The idea of sharing something so amazing, of creating a baby together, made a strange and unexpected bubble of happiness form in my chest, and it scared me. I shouldn’t be happy about this. I couldn’t be happy. But, a tiny part of me was kind of excited about the whole thing. Whether I wanted to admit it or not.

  My phone rang, startling me. It was Jake. I cleared my throat and steadied myself, wanting to keep my voice as neutral as possible. It didn’t work. He knew something was up as soon as I answered the phone.

  “What’s going on?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  He made a noise like a growl. “Sophie. I know you better than anyone. Tell me. Now.”

  I let out a shaky breath. Suddenly, telling him seemed like my only option. I couldn’t stop myself even if I tried.

  “I’m late.”

  There was a long, quiet pause. “Do you mean…?”

  “Yes.”

  “But I thought it was safe.”

  “Me, too.” I started to cry, fear making my emotions go into overdrive. Or maybe it was pregnancy hormones. Good golly. This was awful. “I took antibiotics over Christmas. I didn’t realize they could make the pill less effective. I honestly had no idea, Jake. I’m so sorry.”

  “There is nothing to be sorry about,” he said. “How could you have known?”

  Oh, no. He was being nice about it. It made me sob in earnest. “I sh-sh-should have known. I should have read the stupid information packet.”

  “How late are you exactly?” he asked, his voice soft and gentle.

  “Three days, but I’m never late. Ever.”

  “Okay. Here is what we’re going to do. I’ll come to your house tomorrow, first thing in the morning. We’ll go to the drug store and get a test. After we know for sure, we’ll figure the rest out. Together.”

  I wanted to be strong. I wanted to tell him to stay home, and I’d do it on my own, but I was too weak. I needed Jake. “Okay. Are you sure you can come? What will your parents say?”

  “That’s what I called about,” he said. “Dylan turned a corner. My parents called me from the hospital right after I hung up with you. They are going to meet with his doctors tomorrow. There’s a chance he might be home for his birthday. On Valentine’s Day.”

  “That’s only a few weeks away.”

  “I know,” he said. “We’re pretty excited about it. They’re going to be home any second, so I’d better go. Are you okay now?”

  “Yes,” I said. “Thanks, Jake.”

  “I’ll see you first thing in the morning. Try not to worry.”

  “I won’t,” I said. “I feel better…knowing you’ll be with me.”

  “I’ll always be here for you, if you let me.”

  I sniffed. “You’re making me cry again. I’m hanging up now. Goodnight, Jake.”

  The next morning, he arrived at the house before eight, minutes after my parents left to spend the day with my grandmother. They were taking her to visit her sister, who lived a few hours away. They wanted me to come, too, but I pretended I had too much homework and needed to stay home. They bought my excuse instantly, which made me feel even worse about lying to them.

  I didn’t wait for Jake to come to the door. I ran to meet him as he walked up the path to our front door. He gathered me in his arms, his face in the curve of my neck, breathing me in.

  “I missed you so freaking much,” he said, his voice muffled. “Don’t do that to me again.”

  I leaned back so I could look at his face. “I thought it was the right thing. For you. For your mom.”

  He shook his head. “Being apart from you is never the right thing. We can get through anything, as long as we’re together.”

  I went up on my tiptoes to kiss him softly on the cheek. “Anything? Even this?”

  He took my hand in his. “Even this.”

  We found an open drug store and bought the test voted most highly rated for quickness and accuracy. The drug store had a family bathroom. I went inside alone. After I finished, Jake came inside the restroom with me to await the results.

  It was the longest two minutes of my life. We stood next to the sink, staring at the little stick, knowing our futures could change drastically depending on the outcome. Jake held my hand the entire time, his grip firm.

  “No matter what happens,” he said. “I’m here for you.”

  “I know,” I said, and the timer went off on my phone, causing both of us to jump. We laughed, a nervous reaction, as I reached for the test.

  It took us a few seconds to understand the results. We checked, and double-checked to be sure, and then I slumped against him in relief.

  “It’s negative,” I said. “We’re not pregnant.”

  He picked me up, and hugged me tightly. We both wore our puffy winter coats, and my boots dangled at least a foot above the floor.

  “I’m so glad,” he said. “Although, we would have dealt with it if the results were different, this is good news.”

  “It is,” I said. I didn’t tell him a weird little part of me was kind of sad. Not because I wanted a baby right now, but the idea of having Jake’s baby made me go all oddly mushy inside. I couldn’t share it with him, though. He’d never understand.

  I was starving, of course, by the time we finished at the pharmacy, so we went back to my house and I made Jake breakfast. Pancakes and bacon. Yummy. After eating a mountain of pancakes, and tons of salty, crispy bacon, we did the dishes. Just as we were washing the last plate, Jake accidentally splashed me with the soapy water, so I splashed him back. On purpose. In minutes, we were soaking wet and laughing hysterically.

  I yanked on his sopping wet t-shirt. “You’d better take this off,” I said. “You can’t wear it like this. It’s January, for heaven’s sake.”

  My hand slid up his shirt, touching his damp skin. When his eyes met mine, the laughter stopped. “Are you asking me to undress, Sophie?”

  I nodded, my tone serious. “I wouldn’t want you to catch cold.”

  I attempted to pull off his shirt, which was more difficult than I anticipated. He had to help me out. I led him to our dryer, tossing his shirt inside, and he gave me a positively sultry look.

  “I wouldn’t want you to catch cold, either,” he said, and took off my shirt as well.

  We put all of our wet clothing in the dryer, then I took Jake by the hand and showed him the way up to my bedroom. He grinned at me when I pushed him on my bed. He had on a pair of boxers, and nothing else. I wore my skimpiest panties and a matching bra. Thank goodness, I’d coordinated my underclothing this morning.

  “Are we seriously going to have sex to celebrate the fact that you aren’t pregnant?” he asked.

  I climbed on top of him and kissed my way up his neck. “Yep. But you’re using a condom this time, Mr. Hunter. Don’t let me convince you otherwise.”

  Thankfully, Jake had one stashed in his wallet. He pulled it out and showed it to me.

  “We’ve got it covered,” he said, gasping when I lowered my body on top of his. “But, first things first, you’re sure your parents are away?”

  I groaned as a moved against him. He felt so good, and I’d missed him so much. “Yes. They are visiting Aunt Ethel. They won’t be home until after dinner.”

  He peeled my bra off my shoulders and worshipped my breasts with his mouth, lifting his hips to rub against me at the same time. “And Sam is in Japan, so she won’t walk in.”

  I was panting now. He lifted me up and flipped me onto my back in one quick motion. “Yes. She’s in Japan. I’m sure of it.”

  I could barely think. All I could do was feel. I became a creature of pure sensation, of overwhelming hunger and need. After removing my panties and his boxers, Jake put on the condom and paused.

  “I want to make one thing clear. What happened the last few weeks…the way you distanced yourself from me—�
��

  “It was for your own good,” I said with a frown. “I was trying to help.”

  He shook his head. “The only thing good for me is being with you. Get it? Don’t ever do that again, Sophie. I mean it. I can handle anything, as long as we’re together.”

  He hovered above me, so close and yet so far. “Are you withholding sex from me as a bargaining chip until I agree with your demands?” I asked. “Not fair, Jakey. Especially when we’re both naked like this.”

  His lips twitched, and I knew he tried not to laugh, but he refused to give in. “Promise me, Sophie. I mean it. “

  “Fine,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Now show me what you’ve got, Awesome-sauce. It’s been so long…I kind of forget.”

  “I’ll have to remind you,” he said, with a growl.

  And he did. Very nicely, too.

  Chapter 24

  ~Jake~

  I drove all the way home with a huge smile on my face. All was well again with Sophie and me, and we’d made plans to meet again the weekend of Valentine’s Day. It was only a few weeks away. I agreed to come to her house. We didn’t want to have to deal with my mom again.

  I thought about the day, about my nerves at seeing her again, worries about the possible pregnancy, and my fear of losing her. Although I hadn’t told her this as we waited together for the test results, and I probably never would, a little part of me was disappointed there was no baby. Of course, it would have been a nightmare to be a father right now, but the idea of Sophie carrying my child? I was surprised by how much I wanted it to happen. Not now, of course, but someday.

  My parents came home as I fixed a snack in the kitchen. I told them I had to work on a physics report at Tyler’s house, and they bought it. Hopefully, my dad didn’t keep track of the mileage on the car, or he’d figure it out soon enough.