When, at last, he found me.

by Adrianna Stepiano

  “Think about it now then.”

  “Think about what?” I played dumb.

  “About committing yourself to someone—could it ever happen?” He was so close I could feel the heat from his body.

  My heart pounded—I was confused. It wasn’t something I wanted to think about. For goodness sakes, I was just an 18-year-old girl. What did he want from me, a declaration of my unwavering love? “I need some air.” It came out as a whisper.

  “You need some air or some space?” His hand slipped across the front of my body; slowly removing my fingers from the knob—with one fluid movement he turned me. We were face to face, my back against the door. With his other hand, he held it closed—I was trapped between his arms.

  “I don’t know,” still whispering.

  A mischievous smile cracked from the corner of his lips. His arm slid down the door and he moved in closer. I froze—terrified but surprisingly a little excited.

  Joseph lowered his lips to my ear. I drew a deep breath and closed my eyes; taking in his scent. The knob clicked and felt the door open against my back, pushing me closer to him.

  “Then, by all means, don’t let me trap you.” Stepping aside, he opened the door.

  A breeze blew in.

  I blushed and turned into the cool night air—alone. The door shut behind me.

  The neighborhood was silent and only one porch light burned. Mr. Rigby who lived across the street sat in his recliner facing the television, his living room blinds remained open even though his eyes were probably closed. He was a lonely man. An elderly woman lived with him years ago—it might have been his mother. When she passed away my father and I went to the funeral. It was my first one and I didn’t quite understand the idea of death. To be honest, I didn’t grasp it until my father was dead.

  It was difficult to watch the old man. He had no one to close the blinds or to turn the unwatched television off. There was a very good chance that he wouldn’t move from that spot until morning—his loneliness would remain on exhibit for anyone to observe throughout the night. How does a person end up a window display selling loneliness? Could the old man’s life one day be my own? It was certainly possible that I’d end up alone. Especially with the way I had been thinking. I wondered if Mr. Rigby had ever been given an opportunity in love.

  In the house, Joseph was leaning against the living room wall; arms folded across his chest—staring at the displaced photo on the mantle. I watched from the corner of the window—he didn’t see me. Occasionally he would shift his weight or put his hands in his pockets—a few times he reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. It wasn’t until he took his eyes off of the photo and bowed his head that I saw the tiny glisten of a tear on his cheek.

  He was upset and it bothered me. Maybe I should have been more receptive to his questions instead of running like a scared fool.

  It was difficult to see him as vulnerable—I quietly stepped through the door, unsure of what to do or say. For several minutes I stood a few feet away—watching every breath he drew. Why was I confused? Perhaps I was still an immature little girl—uncomfortable with the thought of growing up?

  Though, it didn’t feel that way.

  Deep down I knew the reason I was reluctant to feel more. The words of Gianni—the claim that Joseph was no friend still haunted my thoughts. He sure felt like a friend, but so did Gianni.

  “I know you’re back there.” He spoke softly.

  Of course he knew—he knew everything. I didn’t know how to respond.

  He kept his head low. Suddenly, I wanted to throw my arms around him and tell him I was sorry—but for what, I still wasn’t sure. Instead I focused on Nasani’s voice; it seeped down the stairway. “How do you think it’s going up there?”

  “From the sound of it, she’s struggling. The tones are very powerful but I can hear some despair in her notes. She breaks occasionally—that’s unlike her. She shouldn’t be struggling; it’s a quick fix. He just had a bump on his head; I doubt there was even a concussion. I bet Ethan is a distraction. She shouldn’t have let him stay.”

  “Is that why you’re upset?”

  “I’m not upset,” his tone was less than friendly.

  Frustrated, I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen to get a drink of water. Joseph came through the dining room and into the kitchen door opposite to where I was standing. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a can of Coke—cracking it open. I watched as he took a drink.

  He realized I was staring. “Do you mind if I have a Coke?” It was not meant to be polite.

  “What’s mine is yours.” I said with thick sarcasm.

  Tipping the can back he muttered as he walked out of the room. “If only that was the case.”

  I followed, unwilling to let it go. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “What?” Casually he plopped down onto the couch.

  “If you have something to say to me, I’m listening,” ready for him to air his grievances.

  He thought for a moment, placed the can of Coke onto the side table and stood up. “Alright, I think you don’t want this. I think you’re being selfish and I can’t for the life of me figure out why.”

  “Unbelievable! Who is selfish? —NO wait! More like self-centered! Is that what’s wrong? You’re feeling rejected? Not used to coming in second? Nasani has Ethan and I’m not interested so now you’re going to mope.” Assuming he was appalled because I didn’t throw myself at him, I was angry.

  He took a step back. “Wow.”

  We stared at one another. A strong wind blew in from the open window and the drapes fluttered into the space between us. It was out of place. My hair swirled and the front of Joseph’s shirt rippled in the breeze.

  “You think I mean ME. Well, at least I know how you feel. I won’t waste my time on those thoughts any longer.” There was no hiding his anger.

  I began to speak but he stopped me.

  “That’s enough. You’ve made your point, now let me make mine. By ‘this’ I mean ‘the life of a Guardian’. I don’t think you understand what an honor you have been given. It’s a gift. Only you Seraphin and only me; that’s it—we are the only two who have been chosen. By God; by the Universe; by whatever higher power you believe in—He; She; It picked us. It’s a shame to see such a gift go to waste on someone who doesn’t appreciate it.”

  “I…I don’t—just because I…” Fumbling for the right words, my anger grew. How dare he suggest that I wasn’t worthy? “What did you think would happen, Joseph? Was I supposed to jump for joy when I found out my entire life was a lie?”

  “Your life hasn’t been a lie Seraphin. It’s called PROTECTION. The truth was kept from you in order to keep you alive—realize that!” Joseph was heated and I watched as his eyes changed to a deep, dark blue that swirled.

  Wind whipped through the room. Neither of us paid it any attention. Both were too focused on the other.

  “PROTECTED? You must think my life has been full of cupcakes and rainbows compared to your hard existence.” Ethan and Nasani could probably hear me. I was loud.

  “I’m not trying to compare our lives. I’m simply saying that you don’t realize how many people care for you. Or maybe you’re not willing to know.” They could probably hear him as well.

  “Or maybe I’m CONFUSED. I don’t know what I want right now. You’ve had years to contemplate; to doubt—not to mention all the knowledge of this life at your fingertips. I’ve had days. I still don’t know who to trust—what being a Guardian REALLY means—or why I, of all people, have been chosen.” As I hollered, the drapes from the window violently thrashed. Unknowingly, I pushed them aside, keeping my focus on Joseph.

  “You’re upset.” Suddenly, he was calm.

  “YES!”

  Joseph’s expression puzzled me. He crossed the room. “Seraphin, you’re just a silly girl. You’ll never be a Guardian. How can you protect the sea when you can’t even keep your emotions under control?”

&n
bsp; I gasped at his words. They tore through me. “Joseph, what are you saying?” Yes, we were arguing but those words crossed a line with me. I wanted to be the one who decided if I was worthy, not him.

  “I’m saying that I was better off before I found you.” He turned; his eyes were a light shade of blue but his brow furrowed and his expression was stern. The contrast was confusing and so were his words. “It’s a huge mistake having you as the other Guardian.”

  “You don’t mean that.” I sputtered and turned away.

  He was silent for a few moments. I expected an apology; an admission that he was exhausted like I was; that we should stop arguing and get some rest. Instead, he hit me where he knew it would hurt. “You’re nothing—no better than your neighbors. You’re a worthless GOONCH!”

  My jaw clenched, my eyes narrowed. A loud crack of thunder shook Joseph from his defensive stance. “GET OUT. Get out of my house.” I spoke through my teeth.

  “I’m RIGHT! Don’t you get it?” He moved to the window—the drapes swirled around him. “Look at what you did.”

  “I’ve done nothing, Joseph. How can you be so cruel?”

  He started laughing and put his hands in front of his body—like he was trying to calm an angry bear. His eyes were the cool blue that fascinated me, so I focused on them—still confused. “Seraphin, I’m trying to show you something. Look. Listen.”

  Rain pelted. Lightning flashed. Joseph waited.

  I realized what was happening. “You think I’m doing this?”

  “No—I know you’re doing this.” With his hands remaining out in front of him, he approached. “You’re emotions are tied to the storm—to the weather. No wonder you black-out the minute things get tough. It’s Mother Nature’s way of protecting herself.”

  Surprisingly, I didn’t care if I had the ability to make my house fly through the air. I only cared about one thing; Joseph’s opinion. “Do you really think I’m worthless?”

  “Would I be standing here if I did?” He was laughing.

  My shoulders relaxed, but only a little. Outside the storm paralleled my emotions. My breathing remained quick and sharp. My emotions were tied to the weather—to the storm, like the girl in the story Joseph mentioned. Then, my thoughts quickly turned to the massive storm that overtook the John F. Kennedy. I gasped. “Joseph—do you think? I had a nightmare and was upset—is it a possibility?” My mind raced. Could I have been responsible for such a tragedy?

  He understood what I was suggesting. “Seraphin, you can’t blame yourself. Since the beginning of time earth has had storms. Horrible terrifying bouts of weather—”

  Stopping his explanation, I knew he was just trying to make me feel better. I could see the curiosity in his eyes. “But you and Nasani said that the storm was an attack. What if it was an unintentional inside job? What if I was the reason that the boat sank?”

  His words were gentle but quizzical. “I suppose it’s possible that whatever emotions you experience during sleep could affect the weather. When you black-out you’re completely unconscious, so your emotions are trapped inside your head—your body completely shuts down when things get difficult. So, why the change? Why all the sudden are you conscious during your emotional breakdowns?”

  I knew the answer. “Because I fought it—the night you came here during the storm; I didn’t allow myself to black-out. For so many years I was numb and I wanted to feel again. What have I done?”

  “The day I found you jogging though, I thought we were being followed—it felt like an attack. My senses told me I was being threatened,” still confused.

  “You were being threatened—by me. I was angry with you but I fought it that day too. I didn’t want to black-out again.” I admitted. Explanations were what I needed. “What does this mean Joseph? Am I a freak? Do you know of anyone else? You said there was a girl who had eyes like mine. Who was she?”

  “You mean to say that you don’t already consider yourself a freak?” He laughed. “Or do you mean that now you’re a freak amongst freaks?”

  “Joseph, I’m serious!”

  “She was a story Seraphin. That’s all. It was an old tale to stop kids from throwing temper tantrums in public.” His voice changed to a high pitched mocking. “You’ll drown in your tears if you don’t dry those eyes…”

  I collapsed into my father’s chair. “I could have killed all those people—Ethan was on the boat. What if the Coast Guard didn’t get there in time? What if—”

  “What if accidents happen and you try not to blame yourself. There was no way of knowing what you were capable of.” He was trying to protect my feelings.

  Deep down, I knew that it was my fault. What if my destiny was not to guard but rather destroy? Was I Joseph’s opposite? Joseph was a healer and I could only devastate. No good could come of having such abilities. The world was at the mercy of my emotions.

  Very naturally he walked over to the chair. He reached down to brush the hair out of my face but stopped before doing so. Instead, he awkwardly put his hand into his pocket and wandered to the couch. “You shouldn’t feel bad. I told you before; storms are good for the environment—”

  “But bad for the people,” finishing before he could try and lift my spirits.

  Shaking his head, he settled onto the couch and tried to change the subject. “Let’s not jump to conclusions before we can do a little research. This is new to me too Seraphin—but maybe it’s not new to Orin. Let’s hope that Nasani wakes him up soon so we can ask him some questions, he’s the smartest man I know.

  “We’ve had a long couple of days. You’re tired, it’s getting late and I don’t know about you but I’m starving. Do you mind if I raid your kitchen? I can cook. How about I make some pasta?” Joseph was doing his duty and guarding me from myself. I was thankful for it.

  “That sounds really great.” I closed my eyes, hoping to drift off to sleep.

  Joseph wandered into the kitchen. Metal pans clanked. “Where is the colander?”

  Before I could answer, Ethan came running down the stairs, shouting. “He’s awake! Nasani wants you two upstairs, NOW.”

  FIFTEEN

  Joseph came from the kitchen while I jumped out of the chair; the three of us ran up the stairs, wasting no time. I had so many questions for Orin. Did he know about my ability to control the weather? Why was he here? Did he know my father well? How did he get in my house?

  Orin was in my father’s bed and immediately my heart sank. He was in no shape to answer my questions. Nasani held his hand, the lump on his head remained. His skin looked ashen; he was soaking from sweat and breathing heavy. She spoke softly to him. “They’re here Mr. Bindolestiv. The Guardians are here to see you.”

  We were the Guardians, Joseph and I. The realization hit me and instantly I felt uneasy. Standing in a pair of shorts and a tank-top, I didn’t feel like the next ruler of the sea but more like a frumpy 18-year-old girl; which is precisely what I was. Joseph, on the other hand, stood tall and strong and although he was wearing just a pair of shorts and a basic t-shirt, he looked like he deserved respect and honor.

  Slowly Orin lifted his free hand and gestured for us to join him. He tried to take a deep breath to speak but instead he gagged and winced in pain.

  “My goodness Nasani, what did you do to him?” Joseph whispered.

  Orin shook his head.

  “This wasn’t my fault. He is sick. Joseph, there’s poison in his body. It’s just like Joshua. I can’t help him.” Nasani began sobbing.

  A tear dropped from Joseph’s eye.

  I wanted to hold and reassure him. Instead I gently ran my open hand across the back of his shoulder, hoping he would know how I ached for his loss. He pulled away from my touch. Shame filled me for having accused him of being self-centered earlier. Unsure of what to do next, I crossed the room to the side of my father’s bed where the strange man was dying. “I’m Seraphin Shedd, daughter of Samuel Shedd. This is my home.”

  Orin winced in pain then choked
out, “aa—pIG—chur.”

  “The picture?” I questioned.

  He nodded his head in agreement.

  “Do you mean the picture of my father and me? Did you move it? Did you put it on the mantle?” I grew excited.

  He nodded again then sputtered “RAHnn—beh”

  I didn’t understand what he was saying, looking at Joseph and Nasani for help, I shrugged my shoulders. They shrugged theirs in return.

  He shifted his weight and tried speaking again. We all listened—hanging on his every syllable. “CRRann—”

  Ethan shouted. “CRANBERRY!”

  “Great Cranberry Island?” I asked. “My father and I were on the ferry to Great Cranberry Island when that picture was taken.”

  Orin nodded his head.

  My mind swirled. Finally the words of the poem came to mean something. “Where the land lay low, the seeds best grow.”

  Nasani held a puzzled expression.

  Orin smiled and sighed.

  “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before.” I turned to Joseph who was wiping another tear from just below his eye. “Joseph, I know where the relics are.”

  “You do?” Relief crossed his face.

  Ethan chimed in. “Awesome Phin. Now we can go save Ms. Z.”

  There was a choking sound. We turned our attention to Orin. Frantically shaking his head, he tried to speak but then only made a low grumble. Tears filled his eyes. Nasani rushed to his side, placed her hands on the feeble man and began to hum a low tone. It was too late though. She couldn’t do anything to save him.

  His eyes closed.

  Joseph began to shake him. “NO! —Nasani bring him back.”

  “I can’t Joseph. I can’t.” She sobbed. “I’m useless and so are you. We can’t save him.”

  Joseph’s eyes turned dark blue. His expression was hard. “Leave me.”