by Carrie Carr
When Lee finally arrived and posted her bail, he was quiet, and she sensed his annoyance. She knew he was just waiting for the perfect moment to let loose. As they strolled towards his Jeep, Bianca anticipated any moment that she would hear his cute voice. But with each step they made, it seemed it wasn't going to happen.
Finally, Bianca broke the silence. "Thanks for coming to get me, Lee. I'll definitely pay you back."
He didn't display any sign of acknowledgment, and Bianca thought maybe he didn't hear her, or worse yet, maybe he didn't want to hear her.
"I don't care about that," Lee said. "It's you I'm worried about. This is totally unlike you, and I just don't understand why you did it. Why would you do something like that?"
A faint smile graced Bianca's face, and she forced herself to remain serious even though she clearly found the whole experience exceptionally amusing.
"Maybe I didn't have the money," she said to him.
"Oh you had money to buy all of those expensive suits, dresses, perfume and makeup, you could have afforded $60 earrings."
Bianca opened her mouth to speak and tried to sneak a word in, but Lee continued over her.
"You could have bought those earrings," Lee said. "Hell, I could have bought them for you at the least."
"What's the big deal? I didn't get into any real trouble. It's not like I killed anyone."
Abruptly, Lee stopped in his tracks and said, "No, you didn't kill anyone," he said.
Lee continued towards the parking lot, while Bianca trailed a few feet behind him. This shoplifting incident obviously upset him to no end, and it was making her very uncomfortable. When they reached Lee's jeep, Lee opened the door for her and then asked, "Why did you do it?"
Bianca smiled and pushed her hair behind her left ear. "There's nothing wrong with experimenting, having a little fun, Lee."
"You mean seeing what you can get away with."
It was like Lee was reading her mind as he so often did with keen accuracy.
After Bianca settled herself in on the passenger side of his Jeep, Lee stepped around to the other side and climbed inside. He slammed the door behind him, then peered over to Bianca. A stern look oozed from his eyes, and Bianca didn't want to hear anymore. He was blowing her high, distorting the thrill of the entire experience.
Then he asked it. "What's going to be next, Bianca?"
Chapter 10
BIANCA DIDN'T HAVE AN ANSWER to his question as she didn't know what would be next, except she hoped it would be lots of fun, even more exciting than the shoplifting. She tried to roll down the window, then realized he had yet to start the engine, forcing her to do nothing but hear him out.
"You changed everything about yourself, Bianca, and I don't mind saying so, but you are no longer the woman I fell in love with."
She was well aware of his feelings for her, especially since dedicating that beautiful song to her. The words I love you had a different feel to it, mainly because he never voiced it before. The song, I Just Want to Be Your Everything should have been enough of a clue for her to realize the depths of his feelings, but she was continually learning about his feelings for her. Maybe she didn't want to know his true feelings because then she might be forced to reciprocate.
"I know that you love me, Lee, and I love you too."
"But you don't know how I love you." Lee started the engine and pulled out of the parking space.
He was correct in his assumption because she did not comprehend the message, though she was trying. Most importantly though, she was not about to return to the mousy little girl she once was to please him or anyone else.
As they traveled down Lake Shore Drive, Bianca drifted into space as she stared out the window. They shared no words until they reached the front of her apartment building.
"Lee, that was very sweet what you said back there, but that is as far as it can go. I'm so different now."
"Are you really?"
"I am, and I'm not the one for you even though you might think that I am."
"We'll see."
It was as if Lee was threatening her or making her some type of long-term promise.
"What does that mean?" she asked.
"This little phase of yours... It won't last."
"And you know this how?"
"You'll just have to find out, won't you?"
Did Lee know something that she didn't?
After Lee stole most of her joy, Bianca entered her apartment in less than a bubbly state. His words of wisdom weighed heavily on her mind so much that she didn't bother returning Michelle's call left on her voicemail. Instead, she drank herself into a stupor and went straight to bed.
With Bianca's boss out of the office until noon, Bianca crept into work an hour late the next morning. She spent way too much time in the ladies' room teasing her hair, but it provided her with something to do.
In the hallway, she ran into Michelle. "Did you get my message last night?" Michelle asked her.
"I got it."
Michelle's eyes darted at Bianca as if awaiting an explanation.
"What?" Bianca asked.
"Why didn't you call me back?"
"A lot of crazy stuff happened to me yesterday. You wouldn't believe."
"Crazy stuff like what?"
"I would tell you, but I don't think you could handle it."
"Try me."
"Let's just say I got into a little trouble last night with the law."
"You want to tell me about it?" Michelle asked her.
"No, I really don't."
Bianca continued towards her desk and Michelle trotted alongside.
"None of this sounds like you," Michelle said. "And it's definitely not like you to not return my call."
"I'm so tired of hearing that. Well, it is me and what's the big deal? I knew I would see you today and if it were that important, you would have called back."
Bianca's voice had elevated by the time she finished the last word of her sentence, and Bianca saw Michelle about to step away.
"Wait Michelle. I'm sorry. It's not you. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that no one wants me to be who I am, and I'm constantly reminded over and over of who I used to be and it's starting to unnerve me. I find myself wanting to say to everybody 'move on,' but I never say it."
Michelle was about to say something, then didn't.
"Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't call you back, but what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Nothing really. I was just going to ask you if you wanted to see a movie after work, but of course, you probably already have plans."
"Actually, I don't, but I've seen enough movies for a while. Maybe some other time?" Bianca asked with a silent question mark.
"Sure."
As Michelle walked away, Bianca was suspicious of Michelle's invitation, believing that the movie was a cover-up for something else, but she couldn't be absolutely certain.
Back at Bianca's desk, just as she was filing her nails, she saw Camina trampling through the hall carrying a handful of file folders. Not many minutes would pass before Bianca's boss requested her in her office. Supposedly, Lillian was not due in until noon, but obviously her plans had changed. Bianca headed towards Lillian's office, wanting to keep an open mind and not assume anything.
Across from Lillian, Bianca sat, her legs crossed, waiting patiently for Lillian to voice her reason for calling her into her office.
"I felt I needed to bring you in here again and talk to you about this new attitude of yours," Lillian said. "I'm glad that you're feeling good, I really am, but you still have a job to do. This is so unlike you to be so absent and lax on the job."
"I'm so tired of hearing that, 'this is not like you, Bianca,'" Bianca said in a mocking voice.
"Well, it's not. There are people in this office, very busy people who are here to work. You sit at your desk filing your nails while everyone else is busy working, you're late coming in, you leave early."
"It's not like I leave anyt
hing undone." That was Bianca's only defense.
"That's not the point," Lillian said. "If you finish your work early, that's a good time for you to help someone else." Lillian paused, then stood up. "And I'm well aware that you didn't get in this morning until after ten."
A streak of guilt coursed through Bianca, having no way to explain her dishonorable act.
"I've spoken with you about this before. Don't you like it here anymore?"
"I like it."
"Well I expect to see something different if you're really serious about your job here. I haven't spoken to personnel about this because I was hoping this was something we could handle ourselves, but lately, I have my doubts. You're a good worker, Bianca, when you work."
"I understand."
Not only did Bianca find her boss to be more than fair, she was also absolutely right. Bianca was not the model employee. At that moment, she made a concentrated effort to do something about her behavior. No matter how difficult, if only for the sake of not letting Lillian down.
Everyone around Bianca seemed to stifle her joyous spirit. They were constantly complaining ever since she made the decision to do away with her boring existence. First there was her psychologist, Dr. Kern. Then there was Lee. Then, Michelle. And now, her boss.
Why was everyone resisting her change?
Didn't they want her to have fun and enjoy herself?
One thing was for sure. Bianca knew exactly how her boss found out about her coming in late that morning. It only took two words to tell the whole story.
Camina Givens.
Though Bianca's boss had not long ago reprimanded her for coming in late and leaving early, at four thirty that afternoon, Bianca was tempted to leave anyway. Her boss having left for the day, she was without anything to do.
She shut down her computer, grabbed her coat from the closet and headed for the elevator. To her surprise, Camina stood there waiting, her coat hanging over her arm. This was the first Bianca saw Camina since Camina trampled past Bianca's desk earlier that afternoon. Their wait together would certainly prove to be an interesting one, and the timing could not have been more perfectly arranged.
Bianca stared straight ahead and saw Camina glance over at her.
To avoid an even more awkward moment, Bianca said "Hello."
The elevator arrived and instead of Camina returning Bianca's greeting, she stepped inside the elevator. Bianca was about to step on behind her, then decided not to. She wasn't ready just yet. Just as the door was about to close, their eyes locked into each other and Bianca stopped the door before it closed, happy to witness the annoyance on Camina's face.
In the back of the elevator, Bianca stood, Camina's back to her. Bianca couldn't resist the urge to toy with Camina as she found great pleasure in agitating her. Only because it was so easy.
When the door closed on the forty-fourth floor, it was obvious Camina was not talking. In an effort to garner Camina's attention, Bianca pretended to cough to see if Camina would turn around. But it warranted no attention from Camina. This was Bianca's strange way of letting on that she was aware of Camina's report to her boss. Soon Camina would know exactly how Bianca felt about people who fibbed.
Again Bianca coughed, this time longer and louder. Camina soon turned around, peered at Bianca. It was the moment Bianca awaited.
"Do you have a problem?" Camina asked.
As Camina was about to turn around, Bianca reached out, grabbed Camina's earlobe and pulled her backwards. A shallow scream escaped from Camina's mouth and she dropped her coat.
Very calmly, Bianca placed her ear to Camina's. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out about that shit you told Lillian about me?"
Camina yanked Bianca's hand away from her ear, then smacked Bianca in the cheek, knocking Bianca to the floor. With the wind knocked out of Bianca, she remained calm. She was not intimidated, and not the least bit threatened. Bianca picked herself up from the floor, her hand against her bruised cheek. So much she wanted to pull the blonde hair from Camina's head, but just when Bianca's heated eyes met with Camina's, the elevator stopped on the twenty-ninth floor, and two businessmen stepped on. Bianca composed herself and straightened her coat, not giving much attention to the two men in the elevator. Instead, she was more concerned with the price Camina would pay for striking her.
When the elevator reached the lobby, Bianca and Camina headed towards the revolving doors. Bianca paced herself several feet behind Camina, her hand still against her bruised cheek. Once on the outside, Bianca was surprised to see Lee waiting for her in his double-parked Jeep. Bianca hurried towards him and quickly climbed inside. "This is a nice surprise," Bianca said.
"I got off a little early, thought I would surprise you."
Stopped by a red light, Lee glanced over at Bianca who still nursed her bruised cheek.
"What's wrong?" he asked her.
Just as Bianca was about to speak, she saw Camina crossing the street in front of them.
"Lee, do me a favor. Run her over."
Lee eased his foot off the break, moved towards Camina's direction.
"I was just kidding, Lee."
Lee chuckled. "Me, too."
They shared a smile as Camina disappeared down the street.
"Is she giving you trouble at work?"
"Nothing I can't handle."
Bianca hadn't expected Camina to retaliate in the way that she did. It came as a major surprise. She had definite plans to get back at Camina for sure and teach her a lesson in respect, the same way that she schooled that jerk at Excalibur. And not because it was something her sister would have done, but because it was something she needed to do. And she knew exactly how. Only two words sprung to mind.
Bruce Colby.
Bianca stepped through the clutter of shoeboxes, shopping bags and designer hangers as she came through the door of her apartment. After listening to her phone messages, she splashed cold water on her wounded cheek. Camina's swat to her cheek hit with more force than she thought originally, and she found herself constantly reminded of it. And to top it off, the soreness in her left breast after having purchased a butterfly tattoo the previous night was wearing on her as well. The beautiful red butterfly that symbolized her new persona was the metamorphosis that occurred inside of her.
Bianca stood in her brightly lit kitchen, still wearing her silk blouse and mini skirt, and enjoyed some Chardonnay from the refrigerator. Though not hungry, a potent craving for chocolate cake came over her. That could only mean one thing. It was time for a visit from her little red friend, a time when she craved sweets.
With dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, on the counter and on the kitchen table, housework had become a low priority. Her concerns were focused more on her wardrobe and all the cute things she could do with her straight blonde hair. After mixing the chocolate cake mix in a large bowl, she heard a knock at the door and her first thought was that it was Lee, but to her surprise, it was not Lee, but Michelle wearing a hooded coat.
"Hey," Bianca said.
Only once before had Michelle visited Bianca, the day after the funeral of her sister and Bianca found her visit unusual, yet intriguing.
"I called earlier," Michelle said, after closing the door behind her. As she removed the hood of her coat, she trailed behind Bianca. When Bianca reached the kitchen, she assumed Michelle was right behind her but she wasn't. "Michelle?" Bianca called.
Bianca headed back into the living room and found Michelle standing before the hall mirror, the same mirror where she usually receives visits from her sister Sandy.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Bianca asked her.
Michelle studied herself in the mirror. "This mirror is strange. It has an odd, creepy feel to it."
"Don't use that mirror," Bianca said. "Use the one in the bathroom."
"Why? What's wrong with this one?"
"I would just rather you didn't."
That mirror was sacred to Bianca. It was the only mirror in her apartment where her sister, S
andy, revealed herself. Bianca didn't know if she would ever see Sandy again, but she definitely didn't want to stifle any future visits.
Michelle and Bianca convened in the kitchen at one of the two bar stools at the counter. Michelle was still wearing her coat as if she were in a hurry.
Michelle looked around the room. "Somehow I thought your apartment would have been more organized."
"It usually is. I've just been busy─You know, you can take off your coat."
"Thanks, but I can't stay long."
"Suit yourself."
Bianca licked the back of the spoon which was covered with cake batter and studied Michelle, wondering about the true meaning of this highly irregular visit. "My mother used to make cookies and cakes for my sister and me all the time," Bianca said. "And the cakes were always my favorite."
"You miss your mother and sister a lot, don't you?"
Bianca chose not to answer that question for fear that she might be reminded just how much she did miss them both.
After a short silence, Michelle said, "Anyway, Camina called me and told me what happened in the elevator."
"That was fast. Did she tell you that she struck me?"
"She struck you?"
"And I might sue."
"I know you don't mean that."
"I might."
Bianca dipped the spoon into the cake batter and moved it in Michelle's direction. "You want some of this?"
"No, thanks." Michelle smiled. "I want to apologize for Camina. She had no right to hit you, and she certainly had no right to say all those mean things to you in the restaurant."
This was odd, Michelle apologizing for someone else's transgressions. "What, you're acting as her mother now?"
"No, I just don't think she has been very nice to you. Actually, she has been very nasty, and it might be better if you didn't have lunch with us anymore."
"Oh, really." Bianca could not have been more nonchalant if she were dead. And she found it odd that Michelle would make this decision as if she were some angel or something. Bianca emptied the cake batter into the rectangular-shaped pan and put it into the oven. "Why is coming over here telling me all of this so important to you?"
