Linked Through Time

by Tornese, Jessica

  I tried to keep my smile in place as Travis turned the truck into the gravel drive that led to the Rapid River. My face felt frozen and stiff, as though someone had poured a layer of concrete over me and it was now drying into a rigid, fake form. The rapids? Why would Travis bring me to the rapids? Images blinked through my mind. Travis and I lounging on the rocks. Travis and I playfully wrestling in the grass. A body floating in the water.

  The truck rumbled to a stop, jerking me back to the present, my pulse pounding in response to the last image. Travis opened the door for me and helped me down from the cab. “I found this place the other day. After I left your house, I just drove around, still wanting to be near you, but knowing I couldn’t actually be with you. It’s perfect, don’t you think? Quiet, peaceful, beautiful – somewhere we can be alone, I think, was one of your requirements,” he said, raising his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

  Clearing my throat, I tried to erase the fear that gathered in my stomach like a heavy meal. “Um... yeah. It looks perfect.” The perfect place to die. My pulse pounded in my ears and a wave of dizziness clouded my brain. I shook my head, trying to clear away the images of death. I am safe. I’m not alone, I’m with Travis. He would never let anything happen.

  Clutching Travis’s hand, I made my way through the waist high grass, my head level with random cattails that danced in the breeze. I could hear the rapids, pounding and swirling their way through the rocky obstacles of the river below. Through a cluster of ghostly poplar trees, I saw the rusty brown water, its white foamy top churning and choppy. My stomach dipped as though I was back on the Tilt-A-Whirl again.

  Travis pulled me tenderly into his side and paused to breathe in the clean, crisp scent of pine floating in from the surrounding trees. “Isn’t this place great? I’m surprised you’ve never been here, it’s so close to your house. I would come here every day if I could, just to think, you know?” He closed his eyes for emphasis. “There’s something soothing about the way the water’s constantly rushing.”

  I could only nod and clutch my sweater tightly around me in nervous anticipation.

  As we broke through the ring of trees surrounding the rocky shore, I felt a slight tingling sensation creep up the back of my neck. Sweat broke out on my brow despite the chill. I grabbed Travis’s arm and pulled him to a stop before he could leap onto the uneven surface of the rocks. “Wait!” I said, taking in a shaky breath. “Let’s sit here.” I motioned to a patch of grass, protected and hidden within a ring of pine trees.

  Travis shot a look of longing out at the rocky cliffs overlooking the water, but joined me without a word of complaint. I didn’t care about his disappointment. I knew my legs wouldn’t carry me across the rocks and there was no way I would get close to the water tonight. No sense in giving fate a taste of what was supposed to come.

  Ducking beneath the outstretched limbs, we crawled across the bed of dry needles until we reached the center of the ring. It was here, away from the raging water, where I could finally relax. Haloed above us, the evening sky shone in a mixture of blues and pinks, oranges and purples, the last fingers of sunlight stretching across the sky in colors so bold it seemed surreal.

  Travis pulled me into his lap, settling us into a comfortable space padded with needles and lush grass.

  Nuzzling my neck, he bit at the lobe of my ear and I swatted him away as though he were a pesky fly. He kept at me, tickling my ribs and legs and nipping at my neck all while restraining me easily with one arm wrapped around my waist. I squealed and squirmed, twisting in his grasp and gasping air between laughs.

  Before long, I had wriggled free and tackled him, forcing him onto his back. The two of us became a rolling, tangled mess of arms and legs, each trying to shove handfuls of pine needles down the other’s shirt.

  Rolling on top of me, Travis pinned me to the ground. Holding my hands in a vise-like grip above my head, his other hand gripped a handful of needles inches from my face.

  “I give up! I give up!” I screeched, giggling as I turned my head from side to side, my last futile effort at trying to fend off his attack.

  Travis dropped the needles and let go of my hands, but he stayed on top of me, grinning a huge, goofy smile.

  I breathed in great, exaggerated gulps, trying to catch my breath.

  He waited for my breaths to slow before dipping his head so low our noses practically touched.

  I went from panting to alert in an instant, my body tingling in reaction to the sudden mood change. Travis’s expression had grown soft, expectant. He leaned onto one arm to relieve the weight of pressure from his body on mine. With his free hand, he ran his fingers down my body, brushing lightly across my chest and down to my stomach. The teasing in Travis’s manner had gone, replaced with a quiet need he couldn’t voice. I couldn’t remember breathing, so still had I gotten, reveling in his caress.

  All fears and thoughts of danger vanished as my new obsession came into light. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled Travis down for a slow, searing kiss. His tongue traversed my mouth like an explorer in a new world, careful and with wonder. I felt dizzy, my mind clouded with a rush of feeling. Travis couldn’t kiss me fast enough, hard enough. It was a strange war of wanting him to be gentle and sweet, and wanting him to ravage my body all at the same time.

  Travis worked the buttons free on my blouse and I gasped as the night air touched my bare skin. The cool breeze did nothing to temper the heat between us; every slight move, every caress on my skin caused a burn of pleasure. Sounds disappeared, even the roaring of the rapids faded into the background as his kisses became more intense.

  Travis broke away, breathing heavily into my ear. He pulled back and I saw the rings of gold in his eyes stand out brilliant against the dark brown, as though they smoldered inside. Pressing into my body, he groaned. “I don’t know if I can stop, Sarah. You have to tell me to stop.” His statement was more of a question – did I want him to stop?

  I sighed, feeling reality come crashing down on our moment, deflating the euphoric high that had been crippling my mind. Damn you, Travis, for being the good guy. Even as I thought it, I was glad for the break. Rippling through the depths of my mind, what little remained of my conscience reminded me to be careful, to be responsible. The problem was, it felt so good not to be responsible for once. I wanted to enjoy my moment with Travis; who knew how much longer we had left? A flash of Dad’s face, a curious mixture of the adult and eight-year-old combined, made the decision for me. Reluctantly, I reached up and took Travis’s face between my hands.

  “Stop,” I whispered.

  Travis rolled away, freeing himself from our tangled embrace. Silent, I busied myself straightening my clothes and finger-combing my hair free of the sticky pine needles. The full magnitude of what we had been about to do weighed in on my thoughts – some disappointed, some relieved beyond measure. I loved Travis, but taking the next step physically was a huge, terrifying commitment. I wasn’t ready, not by a long shot.

  And somewhere, deep down inside, a part of me was afraid that sex was all he wanted from me; Anne’s vindictive words still stirring my doubts. The truth of that would crush me more than any physical pain, I was sure.

  Travis broke the silence, his voice cracking into the night like the screech of fingernails on a chalkboard. “I’m sorry, Sarah. God, I hope I didn’t do anything…”

  “No!” I shouted with too much force.

  Travis recoiled as if I’d struck him.

  I took a deep breath and started again. “What I meant was, no, don’t apologize. You weren’t doing anything I didn’t want, too. But… I’m glad we stopped. I guess I was afraid that things would go too far and we’d regret it later. I’m not sorry about anything, Travis. What we have… it’s too special to rush.”

  He ducked his head in embarrassment. “I’m glad you feel the same way. It’s so hard to be alone with you and not…” He trailed off. I swore I could see him blushing in the dim light. “I promised I would treat you
right, and I will, Sarah. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to – ever.”

  The first stars peeked through the intermittent clouds in the sky and I raised my head to admire the pure natural beauty of our own little haven. I stood, shaking my skirt in the process, and shot a mischievous grin in his direction. “Believe me, it’s not because I don’t want you to.” I gave a flirtatious wink and threaded myself in amongst the tree limbs, heading toward the gravel lot. I could hear Travis groan in pretend misery, his quiet footsteps following mine.

  Leaning against the truck, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was still alive. And I had an incredible night of memories to take with me. Hugging my arms to my waist, I waited for Travis.

  Off to the left, the grass rustled. My senses perked up, sending a jolt of alarm through my body. In a blur of movement, a shadow sprang forth, the dark becoming flesh as it pounced on me. Caught by surprise, I screamed and pounded my fists against flesh. When the attacker’s arms swallowed me in a crushing hug, I relaxed and melted into the familiar frame. “Don’t do that!” I lectured, leaning in to nip at Travis’s upper lip.

  Travis pressed against me, laughing into my mouth as he pushed me up against the truck, making our silhouette seem as though we were one. “You’re cute when you’re angry,” he murmured with a chuckle. “Let’s stay here forever. I don’t want to take you home.”

  I slid my arms down his back and leaned my cheek against his chest, breathing in the simple, musky scent of his cologne. “It’s got to be late,” I said, linking my fingers into his belt loops and pulling him tighter against me.

  Travis trailed a line of kisses across my cheek and down my throat.

  Rolling my head back, I marveled at the darkening sky.

  Clouds moved in with ominous speed, their dark, rolling motion looking sinister in their overtaking of the stars and moon. A chilly breeze swept through the lot, sending shivers through my warm skin. The base of my neck prickled as it had when we first arrived and a feeling of apprehension replaced my sense of security.

  A sound of squealing tires peeling onto asphalt road broke the two of us apart.

  “What was that?” we said in unison.

  I laughed, pushing Travis away. The uneasy feeling had returned with a vengeance and had only magnified with the reckless sounds coming from the direction of the farm.

  Travis opened his door, motioning me inside. “I guess that’s our signal to go,” he joked. “Usually my mom just flips the porch light off and on a few times.”

  I managed to muster a laugh as I crawled onto the bench seat.

  It didn’t take long for the bad feeling to escalate; the cattle gate to the driveway had been left wide open, the cows milling dangerously close to the road. I hopped from the truck cab before Travis could bring it to a rolling stop.

  “Shoo! Shoo!” I waved at the cows, trying to steer them back down the road toward the barn. Irritated more than scared, I held the cattle at bay while Travis drove the truck through the gate. Closing it with a sigh, I turned to Travis, who had left the truck idling and approached me on foot. “Who would do this?” I asked in dismay. “Do you think there was another emergency?” I knew there was no way, emergency or not, that any of the family would leave the gate open.

  Travis shrugged, shepherding me into the truck. “Maybe Rodney had a hot date.” He smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

  The truck headlights lit up the yard, shining on the figures of Bobby and Rodney who were obviously in a heated argument – their hands gesturing wildly and their faces only inches from each other. They stopped talking when the truck pulled to a stop, both eyeing it warily.

  Travis left the lights on, illuminating the area as if Rodney and Bobby were in a play, and Travis and I, the unlucky audience.

  “You don’t have to worry,” I called out, stepping down from the truck. “I shut the gate before any cows got out.”

  The two didn’t move, didn’t utter a word. They just stared at me with questions in their eyes.

  Travis coughed, breaking the silence. “Is something wrong? Did we miss curfew?”

  “I haven’t done anything. Ask Travis,” I said, automatically on the defensive.

  Bobby lifted his arm, pointing in the direction of the large white shed that served as the family’s garage.

  Like a slap in the face, the word was written in bright red, painted in brash life-size strokes.

  WHORE.

  Shoving my knuckles into my mouth, I bit down hard to hold in the shriek that rose up in my throat. Travis turned me away and hid my face in his chest, as though we had stumbled on a bloody crime scene instead of a few splashes of paint.

  Bobby spoke up, his voice gravelly and choked with emotion. “We heard the dog barking, but by the time we got out here, the car was peeling out of the driveway. We think it was a bunch of girls.”

  Anne. My body convulsed in anger.

  Rodney coughed and kept his eyes to the ground. “They were probably drunk. The car fishtailed down the driveway a few times.” He swung his arm toward the garage. “I’ll find some old paint and get it covered before mom can see it in the morning.” Shuffling into the shadows, Rodney disappeared behind the massive doors of the garage.

  I still hadn’t let go of Travis. Humiliated in front of my family and Travis, I had no idea what to do next. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to challenge Anne and her pretty little wannabe friends to a fight. I was pretty sure my toned farm girl muscles would kick her refined city ass any day.

  Bobby turned to leave the two of us alone. “That’s what happens when you go trying to date a ‘townie’. This will only be the beginning of your problems. Sorry, Travis, but it’s true. You’re a good guy and everything, but you’re only going to bring trouble for Sarah.”

  My heart sank, hearing the ridiculous truth to Bobby’s words. Even after all Travis had done for me and the family, he would never be one of us. “You should go,” I said miserably. “I better help Rodney clean this up.” A strong breeze ripped through the fields, seeming to come out of nowhere, and I shivered, rubbing my arms vigorously.

  Travis smacked his head. “Your sweater! We left it at the–”

  “I’ll get it,” I interrupted, blushing at the inference Bobby would make of the scene. “Just go, Travis. We’ll try to work things out later. Let me take care of this.” I waved my hand at the garage.

  But he wouldn’t go, he wanted to help.

  Somehow, the night became even darker. The clouds that had rushed in on our cozy date at the rapids had now joined to become a massive black blanket covering the night sky. The solitary porch light stood out in the night, daring the blackness to cover its bright beacon. As I painted, the air turned heavy and stifling. The breeze died down to an ominous stillness before the oncoming storm and the somber mood had even quieted the crickets’ song, the occasional lowing of the cows now the only sound to break up the night.

  An hour later, the evidence finally hidden beneath a fresh coat of paint, Rodney wiped his brow in a tired gesture. “That’s all of it,” he said, his voice flat. Without another word, he walked to the house, letting the screen porch door slam in his wake.

  Travis and I stared at each other, the memories of earlier wiped clean and replaced with an uncomfortable quiet. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing as me. Why was it so hard for us to be together? It worked when it was just the two of us, but… what happens when school starts in the fall? The absurdity of this thought sent my mind on another track, would I even be here in the fall?

  Travis came to me then, wrapping his lean arms around my tense body. “Sarah,” he started, his voice coming out tinged with pain and sadness. “Don’t take this personally. Anne is trying to get back at me, and she’s… well, she’s just crazy. Don’t let her, or anyone else, change the way you think or feel. They’re wrong. What we have is good… it’s right.”

  I lifted my chin and tried to see the rings of gold in his eyes I loved so much, but the night had turned t
hem to pools of black, void of any color. “I hear what you’re saying, Travis, but it’s hard to fight the system. Think about what they could do to hurt us, or our families. When school starts, it will be more than Anne and her stupid friends trying to break us up. Maybe it would be easier if we didn’t see each other.” I choked on the words as they left my mouth, not believing them at all. I loved Travis. And we hadn’t done anything wrong. Why should I give that up so easily?

  He dropped his arms from my shoulders and stepped away. “That’s how you feel? You would give up so easily, because of what others think? Doesn’t it matter what I think?” He sounded incredulous. “I thought I meant more to you than that.” He stood in the beam of the porch light, a faceless silhouette; his shoulders slumped as if he had aged twenty years in twenty seconds. “Don’t let them do this to us, Sarah. You’re letting Anne do exactly what she’s best at doing, manipulating people to get what she wants. We’re better than that! Stronger than that!”

  When I said nothing, Travis threw his arms into the air, frustrated at my lack of emotion. “Sarah, think about how you feel when you’re with me. Can you honestly say you felt that way with anyone else? With Dave?”

  Inadvertently, I flinched, hearing Dave’s name. Closing my eyes, I tried capturing the night in my mind for what it had been, trying to salvage the time when Travis and I had laughed, touched… kissed. There was so much more to this relationship than he could understand, but Travis was right. “You’re right,” I echoed my thoughts. “I guess I didn’t expect being with someone would ever have to be hard. It should be easy, natural.” What was natural about any of this? You’re a freaking replica of Aunt Sarah! He has no idea who he’s kissing. You are not the girl he thinks you are! None of this is natural, or right, my brain screamed in the background.

  Crossing the distance between us, Travis gently placed his hands on my face. “I’m in this for the long haul. From the day I met you, Sarah, I felt like you were the one. The one I wanted to be with forever.” He pulled my mouth to meet his, kissing me so lightly I thought I might have imagined it.