Surrender

by D H Sidebottom

  I wore a huge smile as I started down the steps. Fate had intercepted at the party causing me to lose my job which had led me to Deviant, and a huge hefty salary. I couldn’t contain my excitement, not just at the money but the challenge of a new job. Things were finally looking up.

  “Just fucking do it!”

  I inwardly groaned as Jake Devine stormed up the stairs, his face down as he ranted into his phone.

  “Don’t test me, Rick, you know what will happen if you decline.” He took two more steps up as I took a hesitant one down. “I don’t care for excuses, especially ones that are fucking lies!”

  Suddenly he snapped his head up, still barking obscenities down the phone. He blinked before his eyes narrowed, his glare fixed on me. He stopped dead, the phone still held to his ear as very slowly his gaze travelled down the length of me, a heat descending in his eyes as he ventured back up to my face.

  He stabbed at an icon on his phone, ending the call abruptly while I stood motionless on the fourth step down.

  “Well, well. Isla Cormack.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “So you do remember me.”

  He smirked, a cruel curl on his lip. “How could anyone ever forget your sweet little face?”

  My mouth popped open, my anger climbing higher. “What the hell is your problem with me? I never did anything to you. Well, apart from that time I stole your pen, but I told you then and I will tell you now; I didn’t steal it, I found it.”

  He stared at me expressionless as I rambled on.

  “You were rude to everyone back then and unfortunately you don’t seem to have changed much.”

  I marched down the three steps between us. He stood firm in the centre of the stairwell. “Excuse me.”

  He leaned into the wall, one of his broad shoulders resting against it as he crossed his arms across his chest. His long legs were spread across the step, halting my means of escape. I swallowed when I noticed the bulge of his biceps under the thin cotton of his white shirt. Holy Christ. The action caused his shirt to pull taut over his chest muscles, revealing a hint of tanned skin as the buttons pulled and gaped open the fabric between them. I pursed my lips, admiring his choice of dress. He wore a clean, crisp white shirt with smoke grey piping around the hem. The collar was small and a grey tie in the exact colour to the trim of his shirt hung with a tight knot from the throat. His legs were encased in the same colour trousers; the material pulled snugly across his hips and fell perfectly over his thick thighs.

  Ong. Shit, that wasn’t even a word but I couldn’t give you one as my brain started to pant. Just . . . Ong.

  “Am I presentable?”

  I snapped my eyes back up, hating the way I felt my cheeks heating. A smug grin greeted me, an arrogant humour in his expression. He leaned forward and I tensed when his nose stroked the sensitive skin under my ear. “I look even better without them,” he whispered, his warm breath generating a ripple of goose bumps.

  Angered by his blatant forwardness I pushed past him. “You arrogant bastard.”

  I yelped when my head snapped back, his fingers snatching a length of my long hair. “Ouch!” I squealed when he yanked me until my ear was back to his mouth.

  “Don’t tell me arrogance doesn’t get you hot!”

  “What in hell?” I hissed, fumbling at his fingers with my own as I tried to loosen his painful hold.

  “Yes, Isla,” he breathed into my ear. “Welcome to hell. My hell.”

  Suddenly he released his hold and sprinted up the stairs leaving me reeling, my toes precariously hanging over the edge of the step as I stared up the stairway after him.

  I shivered. I couldn’t help but hear the pain that had been in his voice. It had slapped me with every venomous word.

  I shivered again as I slowly made my way out of the building, hoping I hadn’t made the biggest mistake of my life by taking a job at Deviant. I had the awful feeling that the place actually didn’t belong to Adam, but the man who had just pulled me into his living nightmare.

  “HEY MUM.” I LEANED into her, placing a soft kiss to her forehead as I simultaneously took a deep inhalation of her familiar peaches and cream scent.

  Her eyes sought me but she didn’t focus on me, her gaze, as usual, seeing an un-ending ocean of nothing.

  “You look beautiful, Mum. They did your hair pretty today.”

  “Judith did it.” She lifted her hand and stroked it along her light brown curls, twisting the ends in her fingers and smiling softly at the feel of it.

  She reached out when I pulled a chair up in front of her. Placing my elbows on my knees I turned my head slightly until her palm found the swell of my cheek. Her fingers ran along the contours of my face, the soft pads of her fingertips touching my heart as well as my skin.

  “So pretty,” she whispered.

  I closed my eyes, damning the tears that wanted to free themselves at the sound of the heartache in that tiny whisper. “That’s because I have my mother’s genes.”

  She smiled proudly and nodded. “Yes, but you have your father’s heart and his strength.”

  “Then I got all the luck.”

  She narrowed her eyes, a gesture she still did even though it made no difference to her now. “Talking of who got all the luck, have you heard from your brother?”

  I closed my eyes again, swallowing the bubble of anger as she once more asked the same question. “He’s fine, Mum. He’s really busy but he’ll be in soon.”

  “Of course he will.” She sighed, knowing damn well I was lying to her again.

  She smiled, refusing to let Seb ruin our time together. “So tell me, Isla. What did life give you this week?”

  “Well I got a new job.”

  Her eyes widened, as did her smile. “Oh I’m so glad, honey, you hated that other one.”

  “I didn’t hate it.”

  “Yes you did. That horrible girl you worked with . . . Rachelle . . .”

  “Raquel, Mum. Yeah well, I am now officially a runner for Deviant Incorporated.”

  “Who?”

  I smiled and explained, her eyes widening further with my detailed description, knowing she was, as always, picturing it in her head as I explained.

  “Well that sounds more like you.”

  I glimpsed at my dad when I saw the tell-tale frown appear on her face. My father stood, readying himself when her throat bobbed harshly. I shook my head at him, prepared for it.

  “Isla . . .”

  “Please, Dad.”

  My heart thumped crazily when my mother shot out of her chair and launched at me, her fingers digging into my scalp when she grabbed a handful of my long curls, the long curls that made me the spitting image of the woman who had birthed me with so much love. The woman who had watched her daughter turn into something the devil wouldn’t even condone. The woman who had witnessed her daughter’s life change in one night and had never recovered, withdrawing so far inside her head that she could no longer find a way out of the hell it imprisoned her in.

  My dad jumped forward, easing her fingers from my hair as her other hand slapped at me, her face that had been so full of love not five minutes ago now morphed into a screaming hell as she tried to kill her own daughter. The daughter that had put her in the place she lived now.

  The room filled with medics, all of them pulling at her and holding her down. Tears sprung from my eyes as she wailed, damning me to hell for my sins as someone stuck a needle in her vein. Her body slumped almost immediately, another nurse catching her frail body before it hit the floor with a thud.

  “I hate this,” I whispered when Dad put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him, still trying to protect his twenty-eight year old daughter like he had that night ten years ago.

  I shivered, causing him to embrace me harder. Dr Lovejoy smiled sympathetically at us as he approached. “Jeffery. Isla.”

  My dad nodded in greeting as I smiled. “She’d been doing so well,” I said as I glanced at her now sleeping form, her mind once ag
ain at peace. “It’s been a couple of weeks since the last one. I thought the new medication may have been working.”

  He sighed, shaking his head. “As a last resort we can try hypnotising her.”

  I shot a look at Dad as he shook his head firmly. “No.”

  “But . . .” Dr Lovejoy tried.

  “No, absolutely not.”

  “Dad,” I urged but he glared at me, his eyes narrow and stern.

  “No.” Taking my hand he pulled me from the room, halting all other discussions with the doctor.

  We walked across the car park in silence, me wanting to say my piece and my father waiting patiently for it. As if on cue he shook his head again. “No, Isla. I will not allow that and your mother wouldn’t allow it. The subject is closed.”

  “But if it will help her . . .”

  He stopped, grabbing my arm. His eyes held so much pain that I had to swallow back my own just to look at him. “One day, when you have children of your own, Isla, then you will understand. As soon as we heard your first cry, saw your beautiful face for the first time, then whatever our lives held up to that point irrevocably changed. Some for the better, some . . . not so much so. Whatever happens in life to your children, as a parent you do everything to protect them. And both your mother and I will protect you until we no longer fill our lungs with air.”

  “But,” I looked away for a moment, hating the pain I caused the two people who loved me so much they were prepared to damn themselves to hell for me. “If it will help her, clear her mind or whatever the hell is wrong with her, Dad. For ten years, we have watched her like this. One day full of life, the next wanting to die, wanting to kill me. But out of all that, this is hurting you much more than her. I killed you both that day; her mind and your soul.”

  He looked at me like he always did, with so much love as he cupped the side of my head. “Isla, you gave us a life twenty-eight years ago. Nothing you do will ever take that away from us. I promise. Even if your mum can’t see you with her eyes doesn’t mean she doesn’t see you with her soul. You let the doctors delve about in her mind, then you take that away from her. Who is to say that all she will remember after is that night? Who is to say that they might take away all her happy memories and just leave her full of the horror of . . . ?” He turned away, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes closed.

  I nodded slowly, once again backing down just to save him the pain. “Okay.”

  He cocked his head and sighed. “I know what you’re trying to do for her, Isla, and we both love you all the more for it. You are completely selfless. We are so proud of you, sugar pie. So damn proud.”

  “Stop it!” I chuckled as we both shed a tear.

  He shook his head and laughed at himself. “Home time. You promised me your special pasta sauce.”

  I grinned at him, taking his hand, and we headed towards our cars that were parked side by side. He climbed in his car and I shook my head, laughing at his mid-life crisis gift to himself; a sleek black Mercedes SLK. “One day you will let your daughter drive it.”

  He laughed louder, regarding me with a look of utter horror. “When my bladder no longer works and my hip has finally packed in, even when my bowels are fruity and loose, there is no way in hell I am letting you in the driver’s seat. You’re loopy for a woman driver.”

  I scowled at him, climbing into my old but reliable little car, the car my dad constantly tried to replace for me. “You offend me, your own daughter.”

  He shrugged. “I don’t care. Just tell me one thing.” I quirked a brow, encouraging him to ask. “How many speeding fines have you had in the past four years?”

  I coughed and stuck my chin in the air defiantly. “I’ll see you at home, Daddy Dearest.”

  His loud laughter made me smile as I shifted into gear and pulled out, my heart galloping when a lunatic driver slammed his brakes on in front of me. Glancing at my dad through the window I scowled at him when he lifted his hands in a ‘told you so’ gesture and winked.

  Male drivers!

  ADAM’S OFFICE WAS QUIET and empty when I walked in on Monday morning; well except for Bernie who was pushing some biscuits round a huge silver bowl with his large nose. He turned to look at me when I stepped off the top step, wagged his tail then turned back to his breakfast. Luckily, my backside obviously wasn’t as tasty as his breakfast.

  “Good morning, buddy,” I greeted as I placed my bag on the table beside his own personal couch and scratched his ear. His tail wagged again but other than that, he continued with his pursuit for the best morsels from his selection.

  Music suddenly filled the room. It seemed to be coming from some stairs that were positioned at the back of the room.

  Deciding to fill the kettle and start the morning drinks before I went in search of Adam, I hummed along to some Daughtry playing loud enough to rattle Bernie’s ears, never mind mine. I was nervous but excited, my guts that morning a tad uneasy but my heart rate parading a quicker beat than usual.

  Smiling to myself I bounced up the stairs, eager to find my boss and make a start.

  A small squeal left my mouth as it fell open, my eyes huge and round. My right foot hovered between the floor and the top step, my mind unable to process what to do for a second as I stared at Adam. He turned around after showing me a swaying naked butt, to show me a naked swaying penis. “Oh God!” I shrieked, turning quickly. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise your private area was up here.” My cheeks blushed, my mortification as alarming as seeing my boss in the buff on my first day.

  His deep laugh made my eyes close but a small smile twitched my lips and I thanked God for his amusement and not his anger.

  Shaking my head when he continued to laugh, I started back down the stairs but turned my head slightly so he could hear me. “You know,” I shouted, “you should cover that up before you endanger the wildlife!”

  His laughter got louder and harder. “Anyone wanting a wild time begs for a piece of this, Isla!”

  Rolling my eyes I chuckled at his boyish humour. “Is that right?”

  “It is!” he shouted to me as I heard him moving about above me. “Give it time, honey. You’ll be on your knees tempted by this bit of danger.”

  I laughed louder, thoroughly glad my new employer had a wicked sense of humour. “I’ll have to be on my knees for a closer view, hoping to catch sight for a swift moment.”

  “You kill me!” he joked as I reached the bottom step and turned . . . and slammed into a huge wall of muscle.

  Gasping, I stepped back and looked up. Fucking hell! Jake stood with narrow eyes, looking at me then up the stairs. His gaze was full of a chill that seeped into my bones, making me shiver.

  “Why are you leaving Adam’s personal area at . . .” he lifted his wrist, taking a glance at his watch, “ . . . 8am?”

  “What are you doing here?”

  His eyes widened at my question. “What am I doing here?” He repeated my question with incredulity. I nodded. “You mean why am I stood in my manager’s office, in my building, in my resort, asking why you are here?”

  Just as I opened my mouth to reply, his dark eyes narrowed and his lips thinned, pulling his mouth into a straight line. I jumped when he grasped my jaw firmly and pulled my face to one side. He stroked his knuckles gently across the bruise on my right cheekbone.

  “Who did this?” His voice was threatening and almost sinister, his heated glare fixed on my faint black eye.

  Stepping back out of his reach, I scowled at him. “No one.” Instinctively, I placed my hand over my cheek and stepped around him but his hand shot out and caught my arm, stopping me.

  “Are you in an abusive relationship, Isla?”

  “What?”

  “Who is he?”

  “What the hell, Jake? No one!” Snatching my arm back when Adam descended the steps, his footing slowing when he caught our exchange, I managed to move past Jake and head towards the kettle.

  “Everything okay?” Adam asked. I didn’t turn to lo
ok at him. I didn’t want the same question again, so I just nodded.

  “I need a word in your office,” Jake told him. Not waiting for Adam’s answer, he stormed across the room into the office.

  “Everything okay, Isla?”

  I planted a smile on my face and turned, nodding. His eyes zeroed in on the bruise. He stalled for a moment but swallowed and smiled back at me. “Mine’s black with one sugar. Jake has tea with one sugar and milk.”

  Appreciating his perception I smiled wider and nodded. “Got it.”

  “Good girl.” He winked and headed after Jake, closing the door behind him.

  Blowing out the breath I had been holding, I gripped the edge of the counter. Jake’s eyes seemed to have this ability to delve deep inside my head and fiddle about in there, both confusing and terrifying me. He reeked of danger with something dark and formidable simmering under the surface.

  Bernie whined beside me, nudging my hand with his nose. I looked down at him. He walked over to his little mat that housed his bowls and flicked one with his nose. I grinned at him, picking up the empty one he had insisted I take notice of. “You’re very clever aren’t you?”

  He wagged his tail as I filled it with water then placed it beside his food bowl. Taking a few huge laps, he then decided to thank me and gave my wrist a long, slow and very wet lick. “Nice.” I grimaced when saliva and water dripped from me.

  Another laugh behind me made me jump. Bloody hell, couldn’t these men ever make their presence known?

  “Make sure you make yourself a drink and bring it through and we’ll go over everything,” Adam told me before he disappeared back into his office.

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  Walking into his office five minutes later, I frowned when Jake was nowhere to be seen. “Oh.”

  Adam glanced at the cups on the tray. “Didn’t he tell you he was leaving and didn’t want one after all?”