Distraction (Finding Me #1)

by Crystal, Jada

  When he finally released me, I’m disoriented like I’ve been floating. I had to move my legs just to make sure I was standing on solid ground.

  “Where’s your phone?” he asks.

  Without even asking why he wanted it, I feel around in my purse for my phone and whip it out quickly. He takes it from my grasp and punches in some numbers. Moments later, I hear his phone chiming.

  “There. You have my number,” he tells me, handing my phone back to me. “Goodnight, Kendra.”

  “Goodnight,” I say, then I get in my car.

  Tremaine closes the door behind me, then gives me a single hand, motionless wave, while watching as I drive away.

  Chapter 6

  Torn Between Wrong and Right

  On the drive home, all I can think about is how much trouble I’m in. My lips are plump and they already miss Tremaine’s lips. Yep, I’m in trouble.

  I call my sister. It’s a little after ten o’clock, and I know she’s still up. Even if she’s not, she gotta get up because I have to get her take on this. Gina is single, been through her share of bad relationships and I trust her to give me sound advice.

  “Yo, whassup,” Gina answers.

  “What’s up with you?”

  “Girl, nothing but watching this crazy movie on Oxygen. What you up to?”

  I sigh. “I just kinda, sorta had a date.”

  “A date? Oh shoot... I see you and Corey trying to get it together, huh?”

  “That’s the thing...it wasn’t with Corey.”

  “Say what?”

  I bite my lip, feeling nervous and excited just to tell her about this. “You remember that cute guy I told you about from work?”

  “Yeah...”

  “Well, I met him at a bar tonight.”

  “You did what!”

  “I met him at a bar...and it actually wasn’t supposed to just be me and him...he told me there would be other people there but when I showed up, he kindly informed me that no one else was coming and that he made it up so I could meet him there. Alone. So we had a drink, talked about work and—”

  “Okay, you are not going to convince me that you met this guy at a bar and only talked about work. Now, dish.”

  I sighed. “Okay, so he likes me.”

  “Wow. Really?”

  “Yeah. Really.”

  “But you did tell him you were married, right.”

  “Yeah, I told him, but you know how things are with me and Corey right now,” I say, withholding tears. “I just feel like I’m ready for a change. I’m ready to start living. I need to find myself and what I want and desire. I’m sick of my stupid job, my rocky marriage and I love my son to death, but he’s like five kids all rolled into one. I honestly feel like my life has completely escaped me and now, instead of doing the things I want to do, I’m stuck doing the some ol’ crap every single day of my life.”

  “I understand the whole routine thing, Kendra. I have a routine. Heck, everybody with a job has a routine.”

  “But don’t you get tired of doing the same thing every single day.”

  “Well, yeah, I get tired, but guess what? My bills aren’t going to pay themselves.”

  “I know that, and I’m not specifically talking about jobs...I’m talking about everything in life that you do over and over again.”

  “Oh, so what you’re saying is, you’re tired of doing Corey,” she says then laughs.

  “No. Well, yeah. I mean, we’re not doing it, but I’m tired of him. Yeah, that’s it,” I say, reaching an epiphany. “I’m tired of being Corey’s invisible wife and tired of taking Brandon a bath, cleaning his room...I’m tired of being a mommy...I just need a break.”

  “I understand where you’re coming from...I do, but the grass ain’t always greener on the other side, Sis.”

  “Yeah, but I think that phrase should be used on a case by case basis, because guess what? Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and I don’t want to be stuck with yellow grass my whole life when I could’ve had some green, luscious grass.” I find a Kleenex in my purse and dab my eyes.

  “I feel you on that,” she says. “Well, you know I’m here for you no matter what. I just don’t want you to do something that you’ll regret.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “Hey, how did you manage to get out of the house anyway?”

  “I told Corey I had a work thing...he kept Brandon and I went.”

  “Where are you now?”

  “I just pulled up in the driveway, and you know Corey is somewhere in there waiting for me. I told you how he likes to interrogate me anytime I go out, so now I gotta get ready for this.”

  “All right girl. Call me later.”

  “Okay. Bye.”

  Chapter 7

  A Day Late, and an Orgasm Short

  I shut off the engine and sit in the car for a moment to get myself together, fix my blurred makeup and replace the gloss that Tremaine sucked off of my lips. I feel anxious, but when I remember the way Tremaine kissed me, I feel that moistened tingle between my legs again.

  I emerge from the car, walk in the house and its quiet. I check Brandon’s room and he’s sleeping soundly. Then, continuing on to the master bedroom, Corey is under the covers with the lights off.

  “Hey,” he says.

  “Hey.”

  “Didn’t think you were going to be out this late?”

  “Um...ah...” I stutter because, as he’s talking to me, I smell Tremaine’s cologne on my shirt. It smells so damn good, I don’t want to take it off, but I have to because I can’t let Corey get a whiff of it. “I didn’t want to leave before everyone else, so I just hung around.”

  Oh my. I’m officially a liar. When did I become so deceitful?

  I strip, toss my clothes in the hamper and tell Corey that I would be right back. I rush to the bathroom, brush my teeth, wash my face and take a quick five-minute shower. Then I throw on a silk nightie and ease in bed.

  “I tried to call you,” Corey says.

  “Oh. Must not have heard my phone over the music.”

  “Hmm...” he mumbles.

  Corey always did this to me. Any time I go out and he’s not with me, he thinks there’s another man involved somehow. In this case, he would be right but before tonight, I’ve never done anything for him to be suspicious of me.

  “Well, at least you’re home now,” he says, scooting immediately behind me, kissing my back and sucking on my neck.

  Normally, I would cringe and try to go to sleep, tell him I have a headache or something I know would make him leave me alone, but tonight, I’m so turned on, thanks to Tremaine, that I imagine it’s his lips on my back, his tongue stroking my neck (the same way it stroked my tonsils earlier) and suddenly, I feel an urge to soothe this fire burning between my legs.

  “How do you feel?” Corey asks, and it’s not because he genuinely cares about how I feel. It’s because he wants to have sex. Here’s how his strategy works: If I say I feel fine, then he would continue to further his advances. If I say I’m tired, he would smack his lips so that I can ask him what’s wrong. Once I ask him what’s wrong, he’ll reply with something like, I was hoping we could have a little extracurricular activities tonight.

  I say neither. I just sit up, straddle him, pushing myself down on his manhood until it enters me and ride him hard and rough. Gosh I need this and when I close my eyes, all I see is Tremaine’s face. I’m imagining his kiss again, his scent, his strong hands grabbing my back side and the size of his erection hiding behind his jeans.

  Oh, Tremaine...

  I think it, but don’t say it. I haven’t lost my mind just yet. But I feel like I’m losing control because I’m riding Corey to death.

  Corey grunts and says, “Oh, baby. That’s right...ride it. Ride it!” Five minutes in, he bucks then screams my name, panting. He’s done climaxing.

  So much for ladies first...

  And then I feel an orgasm building up inside of me but since
Corey has already had his, he goes limp and now, I have nothing to ride to finish the job. Great...

  He knows I’ve fallen short of pleasure, but does he care? Nope. Why would he? He got his.

  I roll off of him and lay on my side of the bed, in heat, miserable and unsatisfied yet again – another reason I don’t like having sex with him. Once he orgasms, that’s it.

  “Wow!” Corey says, still laying there on his back like he can’t move. He pats my arm as if to tell me I’ve done a good job then says, “Woo...what’s gotten into you tonight?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, that was off the hook. I don’t know what came over you, but man! Keep it up, babe.”

  He’s still panting and I turn my back to him and feel tears running down my face. I try not to sniffle because I don’t want him to know I’m crying. He doesn’t care anyway.

  After a few minutes, he goes to the bathroom, then I hear him ransacking the kitchen. He comes back to the bedroom with a sandwich and I can’t determine what type of meat it is, but it smells like bologna. He’s eating it like he needs it to replace some energy he’s lost during sex, smacking and carrying on, and after he practically inhaled it all, he lays down. Within minutes, he’s snoring like a hibernating bear.

  Meanwhile, I’m lying here quietly, throbbing, touching my lips, thinking about Tremaine and his weekend getaway proposal. I need a change of pace. I’m tired of being stuck in a rut. I want passion. I want to live and I think it’s time for me to take that leap, time for me to stop being afraid and go after my life. Time for me to be selfish for once, and Tremaine is just the distraction I need to start my journey.

  * * *

  To be continued...

  Look for the next book in this installment titled: Guilt Trip, Finding Me Series, Book Two, coming soon.