For Baby and Me

by Margaret Watson

  “I can do that for you.” He knelt on the floor and picked up her left foot. He propped it on his leg as he struggled with the knot, and the light from the hall gleamed on his dark hair as he bent over her feet. In the quiet darkness, she could hear him breathing.

  It brought back memories of the other time he’d taken off her shoes. Taken care of her.

  She pushed the memories away. She didn’t want to go there.

  He unlaced the boot and loosened it, then tugged it off, along with her sock. He squeezed her foot, and she couldn’t stop the tiny moan of pleasure as he massaged away the ache. He lowered himself to the floor, put her foot in his lap and continued the massage. “These boots are so heavy. Why do you wear them?”

  “I need them for work. You know that.”

  “There must be lighter ones.” He squeezed the ball of her foot, wriggled each of her toes. “Your foot is swollen.”

  “That has nothing to do with the shoes. It’s because I’m pregnant.” Another sexy side effect.

  He finished with her left foot, and reached for her right. His dark head was so close, she could have touched his hair. Found out if it was as soft as it looked.

  She closed her eyes to blot out the sight. The intimacy of having him sitting at her feet in her bedroom was muddling her brain. That, and the way his hands were soothing her sore feet, was insidiously seductive.

  “Lie back,” he murmured as his hands massaged her calf and unknotted her tight muscles. When she hesitated, he eased her down. “Close your eyes. Relax.”

  She drifted on the edge of sleep as he loosened the muscles of one calf, then the other. Finally, when she had begun to dream, the bed dipped next to her.

  “Sierra, wake up,” he said softly.

  She opened her eyes to find him leaning over her. He had pulled out the band at the end of her braid and was unraveling it. “You don’t want to sleep in your clothes. You need to get undressed.”

  When she struggled to sit up, he put his arm around her and lifted her, as if he’d been doing it from the beginning. “You okay? Do you want me to leave? I’ll stay if you want. On the couch,” he added hastily.

  “Why are you doing this?” she asked.

  “Doing what?”

  “Helping me with my boots. Massaging my feet. Taking care of me.”

  He loosened the rest of her braid so the heavy waves hung over her shoulders. “Because you needed help.” He brushed her abdomen with a whisper-soft touch. “I had no idea this would make it hard to do things I take for granted.” He shrugged self-consciously. “I never thought about it.”

  “Thank you, Nick. I’m… I’m glad you were here.”

  “Me, too.” He ran his hand over her hair, then stood up. “Come lock the door behind me.”

  She waited until the door closed down in the vestibule, then struggled out of her clothes and fell into bed. She drifted off to sleep holding on to an image of Nick, massaging her feet.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  SHE ARRIVED AT THE SITE early the next morning. Her sleep had been restless and full of dreams of Nick, massaging her legs. Kissing her. Touching her. Finally, shortly after dawn, she’d given up and gotten out of bed. Now, holding a cup of herbal tea, she unlocked the trailer in the insubstantial morning light.

  As she read her emails and answered the urgent ones, her mind drifted to the previous night. Nick’s solicitous concern had been unexpected. She’d been braced for just the opposite—for him to leave with a sigh of relief when she told him to go.

  She’d been completely unprepared for what had actually happened. And now she had to reconcile that caring, considerate side of Nick with the man she thought she knew.

  In the middle of a job, while trying to figure out who was stealing from them. With Mark and a crew of workmen watching everything.

  She needed to figure out what Nick wanted. What she wanted. But she couldn’t let their relationship, whatever that was, interfere with finishing this project. Jen was in a hurry. She had six months to move into a new house and have it ready for a baby.

  Sierra’s job was to make sure that happened as fast as possible.

  So she turned on her computer and stored her purse and briefcase. Then she slid into her chair and pulled out the schedules she’d gotten from Vern at the lumberyard yesterday.

  By the time another vehicle pulled up, she’d eliminated three people, but there were six who were still possibilities. A door slammed, breaking her concentration, and she swiveled to face the door as footsteps headed up the stairs.

  Nick. His tread was lighter than Mark’s. Quicker. She took a deep breath and turned back to her lists. What had happened last night had nothing to do with work. Nothing to do with them working together.

  Nick stepped inside, and she couldn’t stop herself from looking over her shoulder. “Hey,” he said. “How do you feel this morning?”

  “I’m good. Thanks.”

  “You sleep okay?”

  “Yes.” She cleared her throat. “Thank you for…for helping me last night. It was embarrassing, but I’m grateful.”

  He studied her for a long moment, and she couldn’t read his expression. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed. I did some research last night. The swollen feet thing is normal. It’s probably going to get worse before you give birth.”

  “That’s something to look forward to. Thank you for that encouraging news,” she said.

  Instead of bristling at her sarcasm, he laughed. “Want to know what else you have to look forward to?”

  “No, thank you. I’ve read the same things, and I’m doing my best to ignore them.” She swiveled her chair to face him. “Did you actually buy books about pregnancy?”

  “Of course not.”

  Of course he hadn’t. What had she been thinking? She turned back to her computer.

  “All the stores were closed by the time I left your place. I looked it up online.” She heard the grin in his voice.

  “Why?” she said after a moment. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

  His smile faded and she saw the resolve in his expression. “I told you I wanted to help you. To do what you needed me to do. Up until yesterday, I had no idea how to do that. You won’t ask for anything, so I have to figure it out on my own. But taking your boots off for you? Massaging your feet? I can do that. It was easy enough to figure out other things I can do.”

  “Such as?” she couldn’t stop herself from asking.

  “I have a few ideas.” He stood up. “I’ll run them past you later. Right now, I’ve got to check on some measurements.”

  Without waiting for her to answer, he headed for the door of the trailer. How was she supposed to focus on work when he left her hanging like that?

  Was he talking about taking off her boots? Or was he willing to give her what she really needed—someone to stand by her? Love her? Be a father to her child? Unsettled and afraid to hope, she followed him out the door.

  THE SCENT OF LILACS FROM the garden drifted past Sierra as she sat on the brick patio of Maddie and Quinn’s house that evening, watching several kids running through the yard, laughing and yelling to each other. She glanced at Nick in the chair beside her and found him watching the children. Once again, she couldn’t read his expression.

  “I didn’t realize there would be kids here,” she murmured.

  He took a drink of beer from his bottle, then set it down. “You think that’s a problem for me, don’t you?”

  She shrugged uncomfortably. “I don’t want you to think I asked you here to show you a bunch of happy families.”

  “Why did you ask me, then?”

  She rubbed one palm down the thigh of her jeans. “Jen invited both of us. I was just passing the invitation on.”

  He watched her in silence for a moment. “Really? That’s all it was?”

  Jen was standing with a tall, dark-haired man, and groups of other people sat in the twilight, eating hors d’oeuvres and talking. It was a typical party.

  B
ut Sierra had made it into more than that. And if she expected Nick to be honest, she had to be, too. “She invited us as a couple,” she blurted. “I almost told her we weren’t that, but I guess… I guess I wanted to see if we were. I didn’t know it was going to be such a family party. I’m sorry.”

  He finished his beer and peered at the label. “Nothing wrong with family parties. I’m not allergic to kids. I’ve actually been to parties where there were people under the age of ten.” He stood, tossed the bottle into the recycling bin and said, “That beer was pretty good. I’m going to see if Quinn has any more recommendations.”

  The baby fluttered as he walked away, and Sierra rested her hand on her belly. She shouldn’t have done this. The last time she’d pushed him, he’d run back to Chicago.

  As she stared into her ginger ale, someone touched her arm. “Hey, Sierra, come meet Sam. Delaney will be here soon,” Jen said. “She was on the phone with her record company, and Sam brought the kids early so she could concentrate.”

  Nick and Quinn were crouched over the cooler of beer, talking. Jen looped her arm through Sierra’s. When she glanced behind her, Jen said, “Nick is fine. You can talk to him anytime.”

  Sierra wasn’t so sure that Nick was fine. He was laughing with Quinn, but Nick was polished enough to be comfortable talking to a virtual stranger. How did he feel about what she’d confessed?

  Something had shifted in her last night, and she wanted to explore it. With him. Right now, though, Nick appeared perfectly happy to explore beer with Quinn instead.

  Jen tugged on her arm, and she reluctantly transferred her attention to the tall man introduced as Sam McCabe. When Jen asked how his book was coming, Sierra said, “Are you the Sam McCabe who writes thrillers?”

  “That would be me,” he said.

  “I’ve read your books. I like them a lot.” Sierra forced herself to concentrate on their conversation, but she was aware of Nick behind her. The prickle at the back of her neck told her he was watching.

  As she talked to Sam about his latest release, Sam glanced behind her several times. “I’m anxious about Delaney,” he finally said apologetically. “She’s in some tough negotiations.”

  When a dark blue truck pulled up and Delaney hopped out, Sam’s face lit up. Delaney ran toward him and threw her arms around him. “It’s done,” she said, hugging him hard. “It’s over. They gave me everything I wanted. I just had to throw them a few bones.” She kissed Sam as if they’d been apart for months instead of a couple hours.

  Sierra backed away from them and looked for Nick. He was talking to Walker now.

  She shouldn’t have brought him to this party. They should have spent the evening together. Alone. She’d been stupid to try and test him.

  After that almost-kiss yesterday, tension had been simmering between them. All today, when she closed her eyes, she’d seen him on the floor at her feet, massaging the aches away. Last night she’d wanted to bury her fingers in his wavy hair and feel the shape of his skull. Next time, would she have the courage to reach for him?

  “Isn’t it romantic?” Jen murmured beside her, drawing her attention away from Nick. “Those are Sam’s niece and nephew, Rennie and Leo.” She pointed to a blond boy and a redheaded girl. “Delaney has no idea how this is going to work out. It’s complicated and messy and nothing is certain. But she and Sam love each other, so they’ll figure out a way to make it happen.”

  Messy. Complicated. Uncertain. Sierra watched Delaney and Sam, their arms wrapped around each other’s waists and their bodies pressed together from shoulder to knee. They both glowed.

  That was what Sierra wanted. That kind of love. That kind of need. She wanted to be everything to a man she loved.

  She wanted to be everything to Nick. Was she foolish to want that with him? Silly to think he could change that much? Reckless to imagine it was even possible?

  Would Nick ever be able to commit to her?

  And if he did, would she be willing to accept uncertainty and messiness as the price?

  NICK SLOUCHED AGAINST the side of the house and watched the couple on the patio. Delaney was plastered against the guy, and two of the kids had run up and thrown their arms around her. He didn’t know Delaney, other than as the drummer at the pub, but he fought the lump forming in his throat as he watched her with the man and the kids.

  She was incandescent. Glowing with happiness. It was a shocking change from the last time he’d seen her, performing in the pub. Delaney had smiled and talked, but her eyes had been shadowed with sadness.

  Now, curved against the man and holding on to the kids, she looked like a different woman. Alive. Radiant. Bursting with love.

  It was enough to make even the most jaded cynic envy them. He glanced at Sierra and saw her biting her lip. Was she trying not to cry?

  Every person at the party was watching with a smile on their face. He would have bet money there wasn’t a dry female tear duct in the crowd. Even some of the men were pretending they’d gotten something in their eye.

  One person stepped forward, then another. Soon, almost everyone was crowded around the family, asking questions, giving them hugs. Sierra had told him, on the way to the party, that Delaney and the guy had had a hard time working things out.

  This wasn’t just a man and a woman privately solving their problems, he realized. Everyone in the crowd clearly knew what had happened with the couple. Judging from the smiles on everyone’s faces, they were all thrilled for them.

  A couple of months ago, it would have made Nick crazy to have a whole town knowing his business. Tonight, watching these people celebrating with their friend, it made him feel lonely.

  If he overcame huge obstacles to get his heart’s desire, who would celebrate with him? His coworkers? His friends in the Chicago business community?

  His admin, Janet?

  They would be happy for him. Pleased. But they’d clap him on the back, say, “Good for you, man,” then continue on with their lives. It would leave no lasting mark on anyone.

  He would leave no lasting mark, other than the buildings he’d designed.

  It was a hell of a thing to realize.

  Nick glanced at Sierra, standing off to the side by herself. Emotion had always equaled weakness for him. He thought he was protecting himself by refusing to feel anything for anyone. But he was really only isolating himself. Cutting himself off from other people. Building a box around his heart.

  Sierra told him she’d asked him to this party as a test, and it had pissed him off. But maybe she was right to test him. This was completely new territory for him.

  A small part of him wondered how long it would take to earn her trust.

  When Jen approached Sierra again, he felt like an outsider as he watched the two women talk. An intruder. Then Sierra turned to him with a smile. “Isn’t it great, Nick?”

  “Isn’t what great?”

  Her smile dimmed. “Delaney and Sam. Jen was telling me their story.”

  “They look really happy. I’m glad for them.”

  “But you don’t believe in happily ever after, do you?” she murmured. “I almost forgot.”

  He wanted to tell her she’d drawn the wrong conclusion. That instead of the cynicism she expected, he was feeling a little lost. A lot alone. But the chance slipped away when everyone’s attention turned to the couple again. Delaney and Sam still hadn’t let go of each other. They looked like they never would.

  How did you get a relationship like that? Was that what Nick wanted with Sierra?

  The idea of opening himself to her, of exposing the man behind the face he showed to the world, was terrifying. Would he have the courage to do it?

  And if he did, would Sierra accept him, flaws and all?

  Or was she still looking for perfection?

  NICK DRANK A TOAST, MET Sam McCabe, and talked to the happy couple for a while, but he felt like an imposter in this crowd of joyful people. Everyone was connected, with a partner, with their kids. He was h
ere with Sierra, but she was still blocking him out. He hadn’t given her what she needed.

  Jen was setting out the food, and Walker was helping her. He tried to get her to sit down and let him carry the dishes from the kitchen, but she laughed at him as she walked back into the house.

  Delaney and Sam were completely sappy in their happiness. Other couples stood talking, husbands and wives holding hands.

  Sierra was speaking to Maddie, apparently comparing pregnancy stories, judging by the way they touched each other’s abdomens. “Hey, Nick,” Quinn said from behind him. “How about another beer?”

  “I’m good. But thanks,” he said as the other man pulled another bottle of water out of a cooler.

  Quinn took a long drink of water as he stood next to Nick, watching the two women. “Scary as hell, isn’t it?”

  “What?” Nick asked cautiously.

  Quinn gave him a surprised look. “Having a baby. Being a father.”

  “Yeah, it is.” Nick finished his beer in one gulp. “Maybe I will have another.”

  Quinn laughed. “When Maddie told me she was pregnant, I wanted a Jameson’s really bad.” He finished his water and tossed the bottle into a bin. “I’ve got to make sure she sits down. She’s been standing way too long.”

  As Quinn drew his wife away, Nick moved toward Sierra. “How are you doing?” he murmured.

  “I’m good,” she answered with a puzzled look, as if she was surprised he’d asked. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” he said. “Let’s have some food, then get out of here.”

  She nodded. “Okay. I’m a little tired.”

  After eating quickly and saying goodbye to their friends, they got into Nick’s car and drove toward town. Twilight had deepened into darkness, and there were few other cars on the road.

  “I was an ass tonight,” Nick said abruptly. “I walked away from you in the middle of the party.”

  She tucked her fingers beneath her thighs. “I shouldn’t have made it a test for you. I’m sorry.”