Promise Me

by Kristin Mayer

  He pulled back, searching my eyes, as he asked the next question, “Did he put those bruises on your hips that I saw in the locker room?”

  “Yes.” My answer seemed like it echoed through the kitchen, repeating itself over and over again, intensifying the situation.

  He released me and began pacing back and forth. “Fucking hell. I want to kill that bastard.” He stopped, unleashing those emerald eyes on me, and he grabbed me again. “Did he hurt you?”

  “It was all consensual.”

  Immediately, he let me go and started pacing again, cursing a long list of profanities under his breath. I was trying to let him acclimate to this before I lost my cool, too, since it was in the past. The truck ride home from my parents’ house had proven that yelling at each other didn’t do us any good.

  Instead, I suggested the one thing that seemed to work for us. “I think we should talk in our bed without any barriers.”

  I began walking back to the bedroom, and I shed my clothes on the way. I crawled under the covers. Hopefully, if he decided to come, this would work and calm him down, reminding him of what we had. Minutes seemed like hours until Mark emerged into our bedroom. He silently removed his clothes and climbed into bed with me. He pulled me to him, and I intertwined my legs with his.

  “I know we both have pasts, Sam, but that was a hell of a pill to swallow, seeing someone text you that. Then, I had the image of how he’d touched you. How are you going to respond to his text?”

  I pulled back my head, wanting him to see the honesty in my eyes. “With the truth—that I’ve fallen in love with someone. We were strictly fuck buddies, I swear. He won’t care.”

  There was hurt in his eyes as he responded back, “We started as fuck buddies, Sam. I’ve seen how these men fall for you, and it scares the shit out of me.”

  The truth of how I had started our relationship hurt. “I know, but until you, there was no one I wanted. I’ve been yours all along. I was just fighting it.”

  He grabbed me with both hands, pulling me flush against him, as he voiced his true fear, “But now that you’ve opened up your heart, you might change your mind. You might find someone else.”

  “Never. I have the same fears that you’re going to realize how messed-up I really am, and you’ll want something simpler and less complicated.”

  We were clutching each other as if something was going to tear us apart.

  He pulled back slightly and stared at me as if he was getting a glimpse into my soul. “Sam, how do I prove to you how special you are to me? You’re it for me. One day soon, you’re going to be my wife.”

  My body stiffened in his embrace as he continued on, “I’m not asking this moment, but I definitely want it with you one day.”

  I was nonresponsive. What the hell do I say?

  Mark continued to fill the silence that echoed in the room, “Do you see this going in that direction? Remember, I’ll take you however I can get you. It’s you and me. We decide.”

  Images of Mark and me at the altar, saying our vows, flashed across my mind. The moment I saw that picture, I knew what the answer was. “Yes. I’m not ready though.”

  “You’ve just made me the happiest man in the world. I hope you realize that at the first sign of weakness on your part, you’ll be wearing my ring.”

  His hand trailed down to my ring finger, and he started tracing the line where a potential future ring would sit. It made the thought of being tied to him as his wife start to rise in the back of my mind, but I was doing everything I could to fight it. I was too afraid to admit I was close to being ready.

  “You’re crazy, you know that?” It was the only thing I could think of to say without showing a crack in my armor at this point.

  He gave my lips a grazing kiss. “Crazy about you. While we are getting it all out there, was everything okay this morning with talking to my mom?”

  His finger hadn’t stopped tracing my ring finger, which was making it hard for me to concentrate.

  “Yes, she wanted to make sure we were okay after the chaotic mess. It was good we talked. I told her how much I loved you.”

  His sigh of contentment against my head made me smile.

  “Seeing how people fall for you, it’s like you bewitch them.”

  I shook my head, disagreeing.

  “Oh, it’s true. After the run this morning, my dad gave me a lecture about treating you right and making sure you knew how special you were to me every day.”

  “Well, I’d say you have that down each and every time you touch me.” I felt him getting harder against my stomach. “I think you should show me how special I am right now.”

  He had me underneath him in a nanosecond, and my legs opened to him. He slid into me, and I arched at his size, loving the full feeling. As he moved, he kept eye contact with me, pushing deeper inside me, penetrating every pore of my body.

  “We’re a perfect fit, Sam.”

  His hands took mine above my head, bringing our bodies closer. Too soon, my body lost control, and the tingling aftereffects of the orgasm rolled through my body. We lay there, motionless, wrapped up in the sensation of each other.

  Talking while naked definitely has its advantages when the conversation is over.

  The week had been uneventful since his parents left. We were driving back to our place in Atlanta from the airport for the upcoming photo shoot. I thought about the one concern I still had—Adam. There were no feelings there, but he’d responded to my text, and I didn’t like him thinking he was right.

  He wasn’t. That part of my life was over. I had no craving, no need, no desire to go back. I didn’t want my past colliding with my future. I had written exactly what I had told Mark as I thought back to that moment.

  Walking into our bedroom with my phone, I got underneath the covers, still naked.

  Mark rolled over and grabbed me, pulling me to him. “Where did you go?”

  “I sent Adam the text. I wanted to make sure that was taken care of immediately.”

  My phone buzzed, and I closed my eyes, dreading the return text. It was important for Mark to be a part of this, so he knew I wasn’t hiding any feelings for Adam.

  Adam: If you need what I’ve got, I’ll be here. Good luck, Kitty Cat.

  I read it as it flashed across the screen, and Mark motioned to see it.

  “Fuck. Is he going to be a problem?”

  He was starting to sit up, and I pulled him back down and then pressed my body to his.

  “No. He was convenient and easy. Anytime I needed a quick lay, I went to him. I know that’s not easy to hear, but it’s the truth. He’s more of a relationship-phobe than I am. I swear, you don’t have to worry about him.”

  The tension seemed to ebb ever so slightly.

  “How are you going to respond?”

  I raised my body up and looked at Mark. “I wasn’t going to, but I can if you want me to. What will make you feel comfortable? I don’t want you to worry about Adam. He isn’t worth it. I have no feelings for Adam. I’ll even change my number if you want me to.”

  “Just promise to tell me if he contacts you again.”

  “Promise.”

  My mind had battled back and forth about telling Mark about my membership with the sex club, but in the end, I’d decided against it. There was nothing to be gained from telling him since I knew I wouldn’t be going back. The thing that consoled me was that I’d always gone to the club in a disguise—a red wig and a kitty-cat mask. No one but Adam and his business partner even knew who I was or what I really looked like. Hopefully, it stayed that way. Mark filled the gap that I used to fill with meaningless controlled sex. It seemed love had been the answer for me all along.

  Tonight, we were going to have dinner with Allison and Damien at their place. It seemed like eons since I had seen my best friend. It was amazing how much time it took to fully commit to a relationship.

  I drummed my fingers incessantly on the armrest while bouncing my knee. Mark reached across a
nd steadied my knee as I thought about needing to break the news to my parents about my new living arrangement.

  “Do you want me to call them for you?”

  “No, I’m their blood. They won’t disown me. At least, I don’t think they will.”

  I started shaking my foot back and forth since Mark’s hand was stopping my knee from moving.

  “Hell, Sam, we just moved in with each other. You act as if we committed a felony.”

  I had ignored Annie’s advice and procrastinated in telling my parents. However, my best friend, Allison, had let it slip that we were coming into town for a few days, and of course, my parents wanted to see us again. That would force me to tell them since they wanted to come to my place, and Mark had brought things to move into our place.

  “Do you know how mortifying it is for my dad to know that I’m really not a virgin anymore? They honestly think I’m saving myself. I mean, hello? Me moving in with you screams that I’m having sex with you. You don’t generally move in with someone to bake cookies.”

  That earned me a hearty laugh, and I swiped Mark’s hand away.

  “I’m serious.”

  “You’re so damn precious. You’re like a tiger half the time and a sweet little puppy the other half.”

  I gave him my best growl, which earned me another chuckle.

  “Make the damn call, or I’m calling them in five minutes.”

  Pulling my phone and eyeing it like it had the plague, I watched the minutes tick by. I pulled up their number and stared at my phone. I hated disappointing them, but I wanted to be honest with them about Mark. Mark was the part of my life that felt wholesome and pure. The ugly part I wanted to keep hidden from them forever. When the clock read five minutes later, Mark went for his phone.

  I pushed Send and closed my eyes tight, praying it went to voice mail. I had the worst luck. When my mom picked up, I let out a groan.

  “Hey, Sam.”

  “Hey, Mama.”

  “What’s going on? Have you decided when we could meet for dinner? I made you some curtains for your guest bedroom in that purple velvet you like.”

  I spared a glance in Mark’s direction, and he had his eyebrow cocked, which was telling me to get it over with. It was like prolonged agony, slowly ripping a bandage off a wound.

  “Um…not yet. I’m waiting on the final schedule. Hey, there’s something I need to tell you.” My knee was bouncing ninety miles a minute.

  “What is it? You sound a little stressed.”

  Deciding to rip the bandage off quickly to ease the pain of this blow, I blurted out, “Mama, Mark and I have moved in together.”

  I heard a quick intake of air.

  “Did you elope?”

  “No, Mama, we didn’t elope.”

  Mark chuckled, and I punched him on the arm.

  “We’re still just dating, but we are really serious about each other.”

  “Sam—” Her tone was full of concern and on the verge of being reproachful.

  Before something was said that caused hurt feelings, I worked on closing the conversation quickly by saying, “I know you don’t necessarily approve, but this is what’s right for us. I love you lots. Just think about it before you get too upset, and I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you.”

  “We’ll always love you Sam. Please reconsider.”

  “Bye, mama.”

  “Bye.”

  Hanging up the phone, I breathed in a deep sigh of relief. At least it is out in the open now. I had my fingers crossed that Annie’s advice had worked.

  “How did it go?”

  I nearly jumped out of my seat and let out a little yelp.

  “Shit, Sam. Are you okay?”

  “I don’t know. I’m dead-bolting the doors just in case. I hate disappointing them, but I won’t lie to them about us.” I threw my head back against the seat, staring up at the ceiling of the gray interior of the truck.

  “Sam, they’re not disappointed in you. They still love you. It’s not the choice they would have made themselves. They want you to think and feel like they do. It’s okay to be different.” His calming tone helped soothe my nervous energy that was a ball waiting to explode.

  “I know.”

  Mark’s phone started ringing. He fished it out of this pocket. He looked down at the caller ID and said, “It’s your dad.”

  Oh shit. This is bad—really, really, really bad.

  “You don’t have to answer it. I’ll call him. This is not something you should have to be on the front lines for.”

  “I disagree, if it involves you.” He looked at me and pressed Talk before holding the phone up to his ear. “Hey, Dean. Yes, that is correct. It was a joint decision. My intentions have not changed. Yes, my parents know. They were happy for us.”

  My dad’s voice was rising in volume. The words weren’t discernable, but the tone was clear. He was pissed off. I started rubbing my hands quickly together, and Mark’s hand came out and grabbed mine, giving it a squeeze, as he used his shoulder to hold the phone.

  His voice remained calm and even. “Dean, with all due respect, I love your daughter. My priority is and will always be Sam. I understand you might not agree with our decision, but it is our decision to make.” He listened a little longer. “I love Sam, and I can’t give a timeframe on when that’s going to happen. That will depend on when we decide it is right for us. I understand. Hopefully, we’ll see you for dinner this week.”

  He hung up the phone and looked over at me.

  I wanted to puke, but I asked, “Was it bad?”

  “He’s not by any means warm to the idea, but he’ll come around. When I talked to my mom earlier this week, she said she went through something similar. Just give them a few days.”

  I hated feeling at odds with my family.

  “Sam, once the shock wears off, it’ll be fine. Both our parents will disagree with things we do in our life, but we have to remember that it’s our life. Come over here.”

  I unbuckled and scooted closer, leaning my head on his short-sleeved white polo shirt. “I know. I don’t regret moving in with you. I wish it were easier. I knew they were going to have a hard time with it when we decided to do it, but I want to be with you, and I refuse to lie to them or let them dictate our life.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Did my dad say anything horrible to you?” I chewed my lip, thinking about having Mark and my dad upset with each other when all I wanted was for them to get along.

  He squeezed my shoulder, forcing me out of my spiraling chaotic thoughts. “No, Sam. He was a concerned father. I’d be the same way.”

  The thought of Mark being a dad had my mind going crazy again with possibilities. First, I would have to wrap my head around the whole marriage thing before I could even begin thinking about the B word.

  “Sweetheart, let’s go enjoy our dinner with Damien and Allison. Maybe sending your mom a text telling them you love them would help.”

  I pulled my phone out and typed out a text to my mom.

  Me: I love you both, and I’m sorry if you’re upset.

  A few minutes later, my mama responded.

  Mama: We love the both of you, too. I promise. It’s not what we wanted for you.

  Me: Thanks, Mama. I’ll call you tomorrow.

  Mama: Sounds good. Just know, you’ll always be my daughter.

  Me: I know. Tell Dad that I love him, too.

  Mama: He loves you, too, Sam.

  Leaning up, I kissed Mark’s cheek. “Thank you.”

  I held the phone up, so he could quickly read the messages as he drove.

  “See? They just need time. It will all be okay.”

  Hopefully, they would come around sooner rather than later. There was no telling what my dad had said to Mark during his little rant.

  We were pulling into the driveway of Allison and Damien’s home. The massive white columns and black shutters created that feeling as if we had stepped back in time to the days of big poufy dresses and horse-drawn carriages. Having bee
n notified by security of our arrival, Allison and Damien were waiting on the front porch by the time we made it to the house. Jumping out of the vehicle, I practically skipped to her and then engulfed her in a hug. There was something different about her.

  Pulling back, I noticed it. “Oh my gosh, you finally got a teeny-tiny baby bump.”

  Damien looked prouder than a cock strutting around in a hen house.

  My hand went to her stomach, and I started speaking to the baby, which shocked the hell out of me. “I know you’re going to be a girl, and your Aunt Sam is going to spoil you like crazy. Your daddy might end up hanging me by my toes.” I looked back up at Allison. “Get to baking that baby. I’m ready to meet my niece.”

  Allison giggled. “I’m trying, I’m trying. It takes time. Mr. Antsy Pants over here might not make it to January without passing out.”

  My hand wouldn’t leave her stomach as I sent loving vibes to the baby. “When do you find out what you’re having?”

  “We’ll have the option in a few weeks, but we haven’t decided if we want to be surprised or not.”

  I arched my eyebrow at Damien as Allison bumped her shoulder into his.

  Damien responded to my questioning look, “I want Allison to decide if we find out. Your mom thinks she’s having a boy because of how she picked up the keys she dropped on the floor.” He shrugged, clearly confused.

  I laughed, thinking about my mama basing the sex of a baby off of that. It also caused that little pain to come to the forefront of my mind, knowing things were rocky between us right now.

  Damien continued, “Let’s go inside and eat, and then I’m sure the girls are going to want some time to catch up.”

  We were finishing up dinner, which had been a fabulous roasted tilapia with asparagus and some kind of fruit dish.

  As the plates were being cleared, Allison grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the chair. “Do you want to see the beginnings of the nursery? It’s a mess, but I’ve started laying it all out.”

  Allison’s little baby bump under her T-shirt was adorable. It was a wonderful feeling, realizing how far I had come from my initial reaction to her pregnancy. All those old feelings were gone, nowhere to be seen, and I was excited on so many different levels. I felt a bit guilty for being such a shitty friend then.