Cheaper to Keep Her (part 1)

by Kiki Swinson

she trotted off to go get dressed for her sets. I shook my head as she final y disappeared down the

  steps to the Magic City’s dressing rooms.

  “That damn girl gon’ drive my ass crazy,” I mumbled.

  I stil didn’t see how she thought this stripping shit was the best thing. The strippers at the club had

  to give Neeko, the club owner, twenty dol ars for each set just to let them dance in his club. Then they

  had to pay the DJ twenty-five dol ars for each set to play their theme music. Diamond told me on a

  good night she usual y picked up around two hundred each set. To her, that made it worth it.

  I couldn’t help but think about the bad nights. To me, none of it was worth it. The idea of having

  hundreds, maybe thousands of strange hands al over my body freaked me out. It didn’t seem to

  real y bother Diamond. However, deep down inside I think she felt just like I did about stripping.

  One night, I watched from behind the bar as Diamond did her set. She got on her back at the

  edge of the stage, opened her legs like a scissor and spread her pussy lips open for a bunch of

  dudes sitting in the front row. I think she was just expecting them to throw dol ars at her like usual. But I

  watched in horror as an old ass man, who I knew had no teeth, got up and actual y put his mouth right

  on Diamond’s spread eagle pussy and started slurping on her flesh. She definitely wasn’t expecting it.

  The shock on her face spoke volumes. Diamond slammed her legs closed, smashing the man’s

  head and he immediately jumped up. The man was smiling and wiping his lips. I thought I would throw

  up. Diamond looked horrified as she scrambled to her feet. The crowd of men burst into cheers and

  money flew everywhere. Although I could tel Diamond was disgusted, she stayed up there and

  picked up every dol ar.

  That night, as we drove to our apartment, neither one of us said a word about the incident. Once

  we got inside, I heard Diamond crying in the bathroom as she took a scalding hot shower. That’s

  when I knew I would never, ever, strip for anyone.

  I was four hours into my shift and I stil had only made sixty dol ars in tips. Talk about a slow ass night.

  I looked at the little chump change and sucked my teeth. Then just when I thought my night couldn’t

  get any worse, in walks Devin, my sorry ass ex. I acted like I didn’t see his ass at first, but he wasn’t

  hard to miss.

  “Wassup, Nini? You ready to take me back?” Devin said with a big smile on his face as he slid

  onto a barstool where I was mixing a drink for another one of the Magic City’s regulars. I sucked my

  teeth and rol ed my eyes at him. I slid the drink to my customer and rol ed my eyes at the one dol ar

  tip the cheap son-of-a-bitch placed on the bar. Devin noticed my disgust at the measly tip and of

  course he couldn’t leave wel enough alone.

  “See if you was stil with a nigga like me you wouldn’t have to accept those penny ass tips,” Devin

  said, flashing his perfect smile. Although I couldn’t stand his ass for what he had done to me, he was

  stil fine as hel .

  “If you could keep your dick in your pants, maybe I would stil be with you,” I retorted, folding my

  arms across my chest.

  “C’mon baby, you met me in a fucking strip club . . . did you real y think I could control that,” Devin

  said snidely. I swear I could’ve slapped the living shit out of him. Al my thoughts of finding him fucking

  one of the white strippers in the club’s champagne room came flooding back. The nerve of that

  muthafucka! While I was right outside at the bar working, he was fucking this bitch.

  One of the other girls had come and told me I needed to go into the back and check things out.

  Initial y, I was hesitant, but she insisted. When I found Devin and that bitch, I went off. I hit him in the

  head with a Heineken bottle and I tried to rip that bitch’s hair extensions from her scalp. Neeko

  almost tossed my ass out in the street over that shit. My forgiveness was paying for a couple of

  broken mirrors and tables. From that day forward, I vowed never to fuck with none of the club’s

  patrons. Devin had taught me a valuable lesson. If a nigga is in a strip club, he ain’t gon’ be faithful for

  shit.

  “You’re a fucking animal. Get the fuck out of my face,” I spat in response to his snide comment. I

  turned my back to him and went about my work.

  “A’ight, suit yourself. When you ready to get out the hood, hol a at ya boy,” he said. Then he

  slammed a fifty-dol ar bil on the bar. As bad as I needed that fucking money, my pride wouldn’t let me

  take it. I snatched it up, crumpled it into a bal and threw it at him.

  “Don’t ever leave no money on this fucking bar unless you’re buying a drink!” I screamed in a

  pissed off state over the music. “I don’t need or want shit you got, you fucking pencil dick asshole!”

  That asshole just laughed. But I was seething inside.

  My anger was overcome by the sound of Diamond’s theme music. I immediately forgot about

  that fucking idiot, Devin, and turned to see my girl do her thing.

  Diamond looked stunning in her al -white corset and thong set. She had feathers in her hair and

  her make-up made her look like an angel. I watched her jump up on that pole with the skil of a

  gymnast. She twirled around it, letting her long, dancer’s legs sway through the air artistical y. Once

  she slid down to the floor, Diamond did a ful split and with one pul of a trick string her corset flew off.

  The men in the crowd went crazy when Diamond’s perfect C cup breasts flew free. She lifted one of

  her perky breasts and stuck her long tongue out and licked her own nipple. That was it. More cheers

  erupted from the crowd and once again, more money flew.

  I couldn’t front, the woman was damn good at what she did. She knew how to work her body and

  work the crowd. She continued her dance until she was completely naked. Then out the corner of my

  eye, I saw Brian walk into the club.

  “Shit!” I grumbled.

  Brian never came to the club. He knew what Diamond did for a living and had agreed to stay

  away. I was instantly on high alert when I saw him. He was looking around with a crazed look in his

  eyes.

  “Awww shit,” I whispered to myself. I saw Brian walking towards the stage. I started to make my

  way from behind the bar. Diamond was making her booty clap and a few of her regulars were

  slapping her butt cheeks and putting money in her ass crack.

  Before I could make it to Brian’s location or the stage, he had rushed to the edge of the stage. He

  grabbed one of the customers that had his hands on Diamond’s ass and punched the man in his

  face. Screams erupted and the DJ started yel ing on the microphone for security.

  “Brian!” Diamond screeched when she noticed what was going on.

  The crazy muthafucka was outnumbered. Al the guys in the front were together. Brian had just

  punched their boy. It was only a matter of seconds before the entire group jumped him. They had him

  on the floor punching and kicking him. Bottles were flying, chairs were being turned over. Then other

  niggas in the club just started going in on each other. Sheer pandemonium broke out. What the fuck?

  Did they think this was a John Wayne fucking western or what?

  The security guards were truly overwhelmed and they couldn’t get a handle on al of the chaos. It

  wasn’t until the DJ screamed that the police were on their
way that everybody started to scatter.

  When the raucous group of guys jetted from the club, Brian was left in a bloody heap on the floor.

  “Get him the fuck out of here!” Neeko screamed. Security came to hoist Brian’s battered body off

  the floor.

  Diamond ran to his side. “Brian! Please wake up!” she cried out. She grabbed his battered head

  and his bloody skul covered her breasts. It looked like something straight out of a horror movie.

  “This your man? Wel you can get the fuck outta here with him,” Neeko boomed at Diamond.

  Security put both Diamond and Brian out. I rushed downstairs and grabbed Diamond’s bag with her

  clothes. When I got outside I helped her get dressed. When the ambulance got there, they put Brian

  in the back and Diamond climbed in with him. I watched as it pul ed off. I covered my eyes with my

  hands. I had to get my thoughts together.

  Final y, I turned towards the club and stared at the glowing sign that was in the shape of a stiletto

  heel. I shook my head, knowing I had to go back inside to get my things and my money. It was like my

  feet were cemented to the ground. That was how much I didn’t want to go back into the club. I was so

  tired of working there. The whole club scene was taking its tol on me physical y and emotional y. I

  stood outside as if I was standing at the gates of hel , waiting for the Devil to eat me alive.

  The building I stood outside, looking at with disdain, was the hel I wanted to escape. It was my

  albatross. There was always something and I was growing very weary of the entire scene. It took

  some time to get my feet to move, but I was able to walk through the club doors to col ect my stuff. I

  walked slowly and deliberately as I headed back towards the bar. I could see the trail of Brian’s blood

  from the stage leading to the exit doors. Neeko was clapping his hands and having people clean up

  the mess.

  “It’s back to business up in here! One dead monkey don’t stop the show! We got ass to shake

  and pussy to show!” Neeko was cal ing out as he ral ied the other strippers and his little crew to get

  the club back up and running.

  I was disgusted with the whole scene. I was amazed at Neeko’s lack of remorse or compassion. I

  rol ed my eyes and bent down behind the bar to retrieve my money. It was my secret stash. Money I

  skimmed from the drinks I sold al night. That was the only way I could survive these days. I hurriedly

  stashed the money in my shoe and stood up.

  I watched Neeko in disgust. He was acting like nothing had happened. “And tel your friend she is

  fired!” Neeko yel ed at me.

  “Oh please, Neeko . . . without Diamond’s ass, this fucking club ain’t gon’ bring in no money, so I

  don’t know who you fronting for,” I spat back at his greasy ass.

  Neeko paused and thought to himself. He knew I was absolutely right. There wasn’t no way he

  was going to take a chance and let Diamond go work at one of the other competing clubs in the

  Tidewater area.

  “Yeah, I thought that would shut you up. You wil see Diamond’s ass right up in here tomorrow

  night, so stop the yip yapping,” I said sarcastical y.

  Neeko started yel ing at the other girls. He knew better than to say anything else to me. I gathered

  my shit.

  “I have to find a way to get the fuck out of this shit,” I told myself.

  I meant every word too.

  I needed a way out and it had to be sooner . . . than later.

  Cheaper to Keep Her Unique

  Chapter 2—Excuse Me Miss

  The next night, I showed up to work dragging my feet.

  My body language and attitude showed that I didn’t want to be at the Magic City and to top it off, I

  was tired as hel because of al the drama from the night before. Plus, Diamond came home early

  that morning from the hospital and kept me up most of the morning talking about what had happened

  to Brian. I tried to be nice but I had to final y let Diamond know that I couldn’t give a fuck less what

  happened to Brian’s no-good ass. Sometimes I couldn’t understand why she loved that slouch, but I

  guess love is blind and evidently, stupid.

  Diamond and I arrived at the club together. We had ridden in her little hoopty, a beat up Honda

  Civic. My car was once again in the damn shop. I was glad Diamond had decided to go back to the

  club after how Neeko had screamed at her. She needed to speak to Neeko to straighten out their

  little rift and I wanted to get an early start before any of the other bartenders got the jump on the first

  paying and tipping customers, so we came in together.

  “Good luck talking to that ignorant nigga,” I said to Diamond prior to us going in separate directions

  once we were inside the club.

  “I know, right. I just gotta suck it up, Nini,” Diamond commented. “Shit, we need the money. The

  landlord wil be knocking on the first and you know ain’t no grace period with his ass.” She was right. I

  shook my head in agreement.

  “Gimme a hug, girl, I need it,” Diamond said to me as we stopped near a table at the midway

  point between Neeko’s office and the bar. I smiled and hugged her for moral support.

  “Be strong and stand your ground. He needs you just as much as you need him,” I championed,

  giving Diamond a pep talk.

  When we let go of each other, I went to walk away when I suddenly felt the heat of someone’s

  touch on my arm. At first, I thought it was Diamond, but when I spun my head around I noticed it was a

  man grabbing me. There was a group of them sitting at one of the so-cal ed bal er tables. I curled my

  face into the nastiest frown. I didn’t play any of those strip club muthfuckas touching me. I wasn’t a

  fucking stripper and I intended on making that shit crystal clear.

  “Get off me!” I barked, snatching my arm away without real y even looking at the man. “Keep ya

  hands to yourself! I’m not one of these working girls up in here,” I growled and started walking away.

  “Damn, you are so beautiful, even with that frown on your face,” the man said in a smooth

  baritone that was enough to make my insides feel mushy. His voice made me look at his face. He

  was fine . I could feel my face getting hot and knew I was starting to blush.

  “Look, I’m not interested. I don’t strip and I don’t fuck with strip club dudes,” I said dismissively. The

  man laughed like I had told him a real funny joke. That just disgusted me more. I stil couldn’t help but

  notice the one dimple in his left cheek and how masculine and sexy his face was. He immediately put

  me in the mind of Boris Kodjoe, the actor. I quickly shook off the feeling I was getting about the fine

  stranger and stalked off towards the bar before he could make me blush anymore.

  “You can’t go that far, Beautiful. I’l be here al night and I’m not giving up,” he cal ed after me. I

  secretly smiled but wouldn’t dare let him see it. He had cal ed me Beautiful. Cute pick up line , I

  thought to myself.

  After about an hour behind the bar, I noticed that the club started getting real packed. It was

  Friday and al the hungry patrons had gotten paid and were ready to play. That worked for me. I just

  prayed they were drinking as much as they were buying a feel and lap dance. I was hoping and

  praying for a good night of tips. Like Diamond had reminded me, there were bil s waiting for my ass at

  home.

  Diamond had made up with Neeko and
she was about to headline, even though it was Friday and

  it wasn’t her night. Neeko was a scumbag, but he was a businessman. He had given her the stage,

  which was a smart business move. He knew who his moneymaker was up in the club . That’s why I

  didn’t know why he was fronting the night before. I shook my head and laughed internal y. Only a fool

  or dumb businessman would fire a moneymaker such as Diamond.

  I was mixing two Incredible Hulks for a husband and wife duo that always came to the club to

  spice up their sex life when Diamond came behind the bar. She was smiling and her face looked kind

  of weird. I gave her a weird expression in return, because she hardly ever came behind the bar and

  invaded my workspace.

  “Don’t you need to go get ready?” I asked her.

  “Girl, I got time. Mix me up something sweet, but heavy,” Diamond demanded, her voice lazy and

  heavy. If I didn’t know any better I would’ve thought she was high or some shit. As soon as the thought

  came into my mind, I quickly dismissed it. I knew better. Diamond and I had made a pact a long time

  ago . . . drug free always.

  I passed the husband and wife their mixture of Hennessy and Hpnotiq, and as I pul ed my hand

  away, somebody touched it. I sucked my teeth when I saw that it was the same guy from earlier.

  “Your skin is so soft,” he said, once again flashing his one dimpled smile.

  “You wouldn’t know that if you would stop touching me. I told you earlier I don’t like to be touched

  and I ain’t interested in the game you’re sel ing,” I said flatly. Then I turned around so I could mix

  Diamond’s drink. I brushed off my feeling about her possibly being high and chalked up her behavior

  to being tired from her hospital stay with Brian al night. I knew she probably needed the drink to ease

  her nerves and get herself mental y prepared for her set.

  The stranger stayed there, as if he was waiting patiently for me to finish Diamond’s drink. I had to

  admit, he was persistent. Most niggas would have already cal ed me a stuck up bitch and left me

  alone by now.

  “Girl, that nigga that is trying hol er at you is fine as hel ,” Diamond commented, laughing

  afterwards. She made it very obvious that she was talking about him too.

  “I don’t care if he fine or not. He is up in a strip club looking for some quick ass,” I replied. I made