Cheaper to Keep Her (part 1)

by Kiki Swinson

  distraught. My worst fear had been confirmed. Duke was cheating on me! I didn’t want to believe it,

  but now it al made sense. The day I had gone into Saks with him, Caroline’s old white ass laughed at

  me. She knew I was one of many stupid ass women who fel for Duke Carrington’s shit. Things were

  starting to slip fast.

  I sat in my car for at least an hour before I could final y drive. The first place I went when I left the

  mal parking lot was to CVS. I needed to find out why al of a sudden I was so sick

  .

  Cheaper to Keep Her Unique

  Chapter 15—Damn, Damn, Damn

  I raced back to the condo feeling and looking a mess.

  With my little pharmacy bag in hand, I went into the bathroom and fumbled out of my jeans. I sat

  on the toilet and ripped open the smal box. My heart was hammering so fast I was almost out of

  breath. I pul ed out the little white test stick and forced my urine out in a fast stream. I put the stick

  between my legs and when I thought I’d gotten enough piss on it, I set it on the side of the sink.

  I was so nervous I started gnawing on my fake nail tips. “C’mon . . . c’mon,” I urged, staring at the

  test. As if my utterances would make the results appear faster. The little window that turns pink when

  it was time to read the test results seemed to take forever. Final y, it was completely pink, which

  meant, it was time to read the results.

  I inhaled deeply and picked up the little device. This was the new and improved test . . . the one

  that showed the words pregnant or not pregnant so there was no mistaking the results. And for sure,

  there was damn sure no mistaking what the capital letters read . . . PREGNANT.

  I cupped my hand over my mouth. I didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad. A baby! A fucking

  baby! Me, a mother! Damn, damn, damn!

  Al kinds of thoughts invaded my head. The final thought was that this could only be a good thing.

  Although Duke and I hadn’t been together long, he had taken care of me and I knew he wouldn’t turn

  his back on his own baby. He didn’t have any kids or so I hoped. I figured a baby would make him

  very happy. Maybe this was what he needed to bring him home at nights and make him spend more

  time with me. Maybe if I gave him his only child, he would final y marry me. With that in mind I grew

  excited. This baby would be the best thing for our relationship. I told myself. I was excited.

  I walked around the condo touching my stomach over and over again. I kept playing what I would

  say to Duke repeatedly in my mind. I definitely wasn’t going to tel him over the phone. I would cal him

  and tel him I needed to see him right away. I could just envision him snatching me up in a big bear hug

  and whirling me around. I was thinking he would shower my face with kisses and tel me to sit down,

  because he didn’t want anything to happen to his precious baby.

  The thoughts made me so antsy, I was going to cal Duke and interrupt whatever he was doing.

  Yeah! That was what I decided to do. I could hardly contain my excitement as I dialed his cel phone

  number. I gripped my cel phone tighter and tighter each time Duke’s phone rang on the other end

  without an answer. My stomach was in knots now. A feeling of dread and disappointment washed

  over me.

  Then I heard his voicemail. “This muthafucka is ignoring my cal s!” I screamed out loud. I ran my

  shaking hands through my hair. “He better answer this fucking time!” I dialed the number again. This

  time it went straight to voicemail. “Ok, maybe he is trying to cal me back,” I reasoned.

  I hung up my phone and stared at it, waiting to see if Duke’s cal back would come through. I kept

  looking at the phone. With each minute that passed my blood pressure went higher and higher. I was

  fucking fuming mad now. “How does this bastard know if I’m cal ing for an emergency or not!” I

  screamed out.

  I cal ed Duke’s number back again. It immediately went to voicemail. That meant he turned his

  phone off. After he saw my missed cal , he had the nerve to turn his phone off. I threw my cel phone

  down on the floor and tossed the pregnancy test into the trash. My happy moment had once again

  faded to black. Without Duke, there was nothing to be fucking happy about.

  After cal ing Duke’s phone at least a dozen more times, I must have dozed off because I was

  startled by my cel phone’s loud ringing. I jumped up and looked around. I was on the floor in front of

  the bed, where I must’ve cried myself to sleep. I went and picked up my phone. It had already

  stopped ringing. I knew it was Duke cal ing to tel me he was sorry for not answering my cal s.

  To my great disappointment, when I looked at my cel the screen read Diamond. I sucked my

  teeth. But I guess she would do. I pressed send to cal her back. She answered on the first ring.

  Diamond was screaming into the phone almost breathless. I couldn’t understand her at first, but then I

  heard his name.

  Diamond had said Duke’s name in the same sentence with the words . . . another bitch. With my

  phone to my ear I raced towards the condo door.

  Cheaper to Keep Her Unique

  Chapter 16—Too Many Hoes

  The tears were rol ing down my face like waterfal s during my entire drive.

  I drove with reckless abandon. I was speeding like a madwoman and I cut off more than one

  driver. When I final y pul ed my car into the Magic City parking lot, I couldn’t put it in park fast enough. I

  stormed through the club’s doors and stopped. I moved my head left to right scanning for Duke’s ass.

  My chest was heaving up and down and I was no longer upset, I was in a blind fucking rage. Final y, I

  saw Diamond rushing towards me. She had her hands out as if she was going to try to stop me.

  “Wait, Lynise . . . wait!” Diamond cautioned me.

  “No, fuck that Diamond! Where is he?” I screamed over the loud music.

  “Let me just calm you down first. I don’t want you to—” Diamond tried reasoning.

  “Move!” I cut her off and pushed past her.

  I knew right away where the fuck Duke was at. She didn’t have to tel me. I stalked towards the

  champagne room. I could hardly breathe. I could hear Diamond running behind me. It was too late for

  al of that. I snatched the door open and I gasped at what I saw. I could see Duke sitting back on one

  of the leather sofas and the ass cheeks of the new stripper Diamond had told me about named

  Christa. She was standing on the couch straddling Duke’s face. He had his hands on her ass pushing

  her towards his open mouth. This muthfucka was actual y eating the pussy of a strange bitch! How

  fucking dare he! I was the one kissing him on the mouth. I had never been in that position with Duke. It

  was always straight up and down hardcore fucking.

  I felt as if I was going to stop breathing. My vision became completely clouded with red. I clenched

  my fists together and I charged straight for them.

  “Arrggghh! You muthafuckin’ liar!” I screeched as I moved forward. I felt like I was possessed by

  the devil. The girl whipped her head around and screamed when she saw me coming straight for her,

  but it was too fucking late.

  I snatched that bitch off the sofa by her long hair, which was a wig and it came right off. She was

  so shocked she didn’t have time to break her fal or keep her wig on. She landed on the floor on her

  naked ass. I reached down and grabb
ed the little patch of real hair she had slicked back to put her

  wig on. With one hand I held onto Christa’s real hair and with the other hand I started pounding her in

  the face. She tried to grab my hair but I was wailing on her ass so hard she couldn’t see to grab my

  long ponytail.

  “Lynise! Oh my God!” Diamond screamed out.

  But I wasn’t letting go of the bitch. I couldn’t, no, I wouldn’t let this bitch or any other bitch

  disrespect me.

  Duke was busy trying to fix himself. The asshole had also begun taking his dick out of his pants

  when I caught him. His shit was literal y open around his waist. I guess he was going to fuck the bitch

  too. The girl was screaming but I wasn’t letting her go and I continued banging her in her face. Final y, I

  felt Duke grab me around my waist.

  “Lynise, stop this shit! She ain’t do shit to you!” he barked at me, final y able to pry me off his little

  nasty bitch. I had her hair al tangled around my hands and my knuckles ached from hitting her. I was

  out of breath and sweaty.

  Perspiration donned my body from head to toe. Plus, I was stil beyond pissed off. My reflexes

  made keen and I was stil in kick-somebody’s-ass mode.

  “Oh, you gon’ defend this bitch! Fuck you! You a nasty bastard! Al that shit you talked about not

  being the strip club type of nigga! You’re a fucking liar!” I screamed until my voice started cracking.

  Duke let me go with a shove and I went stumbling. It was as if he was dismissing me. “Lynise, go

  home. I’l be there when I can,” he said calmly, putting his hands up in a talk to the hand kind of motion.

  This bastard had the audacity to act cool and try to send me away like I was a child.

  “Fuck you asshole! You’re a dirty muthafucka! You think I don’t know about the bitches in Saks

  and al that too, right? You piece of shit! You whack dick nigga!” I was trying to find any words that

  would make him feel even close to the amount of humiliation and hurt I felt.

  “You hide behind your money and your fancy cars! But you ain’t shit!” I continued my rant. “You

  come from shit and you ain’t never gon’ be shit! You gotta buy pussy! You think any of these bitches

  would give you the time of day if you was that same ’hood trash you were born as!” I was throwing

  his personal secrets he had confided in me during some of our dinner dates back in his face in public.

  I just wanted him to feel as embarrassed as I did.

  Duke grabbed my face roughly. “Shut your fucking mouth!” he hissed. There was a crowd in the

  champagne room now. The security guards were trying to level with me to get me to leave. I wasn’t

  having it.

  “Your mama didn’t want you! That’s why you gotta buy women!” I continued, mumbling as he put

  pressure on my face. That was the last straw for Duke. He grabbed me by my hair and started

  dragging me from the club. Diamond was screaming for him to let me go. The security guards knew

  Duke and evidently knew him wel , because they just let him drag me as if I was a rag dol . I should

  have realized then how big his ass was in the eyes of many, but a woman scorn is a woman who

  can’t think straight in the heat of the moment.

  “Get off of me! Owww!” I cried out in pain. Duke continued dragging me out the door. When we got

  outside he pushed me down to the ground right in the dirt of the parking lot. I was on my knees

  screaming and crying. Al of my former co-workers from the club were outside watching the drama.

  Duke lifted his foot and kicked dirt on me. The dusty dry earth got on my face and in my hair, on my

  hands and knees. I started coughing and crying even harder.

  “I picked you up from the gutter and the dirt, and bitch, I wil send you right back if you ever

  disrespect me in public again. Now take your needy, funky ass home!” Duke spat, kicking me in the

  ass.

  “Aggghhhhhh!” I screamed as I tried to pul myself off the ground. I didn’t even have the strength to

  move. I actual y felt as if I wanted to die rather than live with the utter embarrassment and shame I

  was feeling.

  Diamond came over to me. “C’mon on, Lynise. I’m sorry about al of this. I can’t believe this

  nigga,” Diamond consoled as she helped me get to my feet. I grabbed onto her and just sobbed

  uncontrol ably. Not only was I humiliated at how Duke had treated me in front of my co-workers, I was

  left with the reality that I was pregnant by him, a man who had no regard for women.

  Diamond came back to the condo with me and helped me clean myself up. That’s when I told her I

  was pregnant.

  “Oh no, Lynise. After what happened tonight you need to be heading to the chop shop and getting

  that baby out of you,” Diamond said flatly. I knew if it were under any other circumstances, she would

  have been very happy for me.

  “How can you say that Diamond? He cheated yes, but he doesn’t know about the baby yet.

  When I tel him, it might change things between us,” I said, dabbing tears from my eyes.

  “Do what you want, Lynise, but bringing another life into a fucked up situation is a big decision,”

  Diamond began her lecture. “This nigga just cheated on you in a public place. Then he kicked dirt on

  you, literal y and kicked you in the ass. Obviously, he is not the man you thought he was . . . a real man

  ain’t gon’ do no shit like that.”

  I couldn’t even look at her because her words were driving a knife in my heart.

  “Just remember our fucked up childhoods with no good ass fathers,” Diamond reminded me.

  She had a point.

  But I was stil holding onto hope that once Duke knew about the baby he would come around. I

  was real y thinking that as soon as he knew he would make me his wifey.

  Diamond made sure I was al right and then she got ready to leave. I gave her a long hard hug

  and thanked her for everything. When she left, my feelings went from sorrow to straight unadulterated

  anger. I kept playing the club scene over and over in my mind. I was stupid repeating the worst day of

  life in my mind. That thought coupled with me replaying the voice of the old bitch ass saleswoman at

  Saks mocking me made me feel even worse.

  I stormed into the den, unlocked Duke’s desk and took even more money out of his lock box.

  Usual y, I would only take a few of the bil s from the middle so he wouldn’t real y notice, but this time, I

  said fuck him and took two whole stacks of money. I was sure it had to be at least a couple of

  thousand dol ars. I also picked up some of his business papers, household bil s and some business

  contacts. I took al the stuff and stashed it away in a secure place amongst my things.

  Just as I finished hiding everything, I was startled by the condo door slamming. I jumped and

  rushed over to the bed before Duke could come into the room. “Shit,” I huffed under my breath

  thinking that was a very close cal . I wasn’t expecting Duke to come to the condo after everything that

  had happened. I was sure he would leave me in the condo alone for the night.

  Duke came into the room and headed straight for the bathroom. At first, I tried to wil myself to

  stay calm, but my emotions got the best of me. I couldn’t keep it together any longer. I didn’t know if it

  was my hormones from being pregnant or what, but I busted out crying in the bed. I got up and tried

  to go into the bathroom to talk to Duke but he had locked the door. I began ba
nging on the door and

  screaming for Duke to open it.

  “Duke, how could you do this to me!” I roared through my tears. “I gave up everything for you! You

  humiliated me! I can’t believe you!” My throat was burning from screaming so much.

  Final y, he opened the door. I looked at him out of my red, swol en eyes. His facial expression was

  like stone. “Lynise, if you ever embarrass me like that again in public, you wil be out of my life. I wil

  not tolerate that bul shit drama. I’m not up for it,” he said al nice and calm.

  I was stunned at what he said to me. It took a minute for his words to register in my mind. And his

  stone-faced expression was intimidating. But I stood my ground.

  “How could you act like I did something to you!” I screamed through more tears. “You were fucking

  cheating on me in the place I used to work! In front of al my friends and former co-workers!”

  “I thought you were ready to move on,” he replied. “What’s done is done. I don’t want to hear al of

  this bul shit screaming and crying. I thought fucking with you was gonna be drama free. I thought you

  were a real woman and could handle a real man. I guess not. I gotta go.”

  His words real y cut like a dagger through my fragile heart. I bent over and cried some more. It felt

  like he had actual y stabbed me in the heart. “How could you!” I wailed. I had fal en to my knees again.

  My legs were too weak to stand.

  “Grow up Lynise. Or get your own shit and get the fuck outta mine. Oh wait, you can’t because

  you ain’t got shit . . . everything you got I gave you. If you want to keep it that way then stay the fuck

  out of my way and just go with the flow.”

  With that, he exited the room and slammed the front door behind him.

  I fel back on the bed and let the tears run. I stil hadn't been able to tel him that I was carrying his

  child. One part of me wanted to pack up my shit and leave.

  I didn’t know if I could just accept Duke’s blatant disrespect, but another part of me was

  convinced that when I broke the good news to him about our baby he would jump for joy and final y

  put a ring on it.

  Cheaper to Keep Her Unique

  Chapter 17—It Ain’t Personal

  I woke up the next morning to a ringing phone.