Blue Macabre

by J. W. DeBrock

  He seemed to not hear, forging ahead, the rear wheels slipping. Karin shifted uneasily in her seat beside him, tugging at the neck of her sweater. She glanced over the edge of the road at the glistening, crystal vista – dreamlike in its shimmering infinity.

  They rounded the next curve and the turnout appeared. He stopped the SUV and hunched over the steering wheel. “Man – isn’t that view something.”

  Peaks and valleys belied any trace of civilization. Jenny shut her eyes and grasped his arm, digging in her fingernails. “Chris! Let’s go back down.”

  Slowly turning his face to hers, he looked through her as if she was not there. She waved her fingers in front of his eyes with no immediate response. Karin shrugged her shoulders when Jenny looked at her for reassurance. The women finally saw him blink, raise his eyebrows, and seemingly notice them for the first time in several minutes. He suddenly smiled, patting Karin’s leg again.

  “We’ll turn around here, if you’ll get out and spot me. I’m hungry for that lunch – let’s go find a picnic spot.” Karin and Jenny looked at each other again.

  Karin got out. Losing her own footing twice, even with the deep tread of her hiking boots, she cringed when she saw the rear wheels sliding toward the slushy, unstable edge. She sighed with relief as he hugged the inside of the road and she squeezed herself through the passenger door and back into her seat, fastening her seatbelt immediately.

  Winding back down through the slush, he pulled in at one of the unused camping areas they’d earlier passed. He chose a sunny spot with the least amount of snow, parked, and picked his way on foot through melting puddles toward a large fir tree. He relieved his overtaxed bladder. Man, how good is that. He stuffed himself back into his jeans and inhaled deeply of the crisp mountain air.

  The sunshine was bright and warming. He returned to find the ladies laying out picnic items, brushing snow from a table and its benches, smoothing out blankets as cushions. Although he had a nagging headache, the spread of food pleased him – cheese, crackers, olives, sliced sausage and a couple bottles of wine.

  As he moved to sit, without any warning a pain went through his head like a chainsaw blade.

  Why I dont like the rope

  But baby daddys here for you

  Please

  Baby must do some things for daddy

  Please no

  I just want to put it like this

  Please nooooooooooooooooooo

  Karin saw him grab his head again, and reached out to touch him. “Chris?”

  He wrestled with himself as he watched her reach out. Strange savage thoughts passed, seconds as hours. He shrank from her, turned, and quickly sat down, shaking slightly. “Get me some wine, would you?” he asked without looking up. He put his head in his hands and rubbed his scalp.

  Jenny’s face was perplexed. She poured him wine and set it in front of him. He picked it up without looking at her and knocked it back. “More.” She refilled his cup and then sat down across from him, leaning toward him while Karin sat beside her.

  The wine warmed him quickly and he began to relax. He smiled at them weakly. “Sounds pretty damn stupid, I know, but I really don’t know what came over me. I guess it might be a hangover or something, I dunno. Forgive me?”

  “Well, you just about had me fooled,” said Jenny. “You haven’t been doing any weird dope, have you?”

  “No way, you know me better than that. Accountants typically lead rather dull lives. Especially living in the heart of the Bible belt.”

  He poured another cup of wine and they sat together, listening to the placid drip of melting snow, enjoying the warmth and energy of the sun. A patrolling ranger in a Forest Service vehicle passed by. They waved to him as he continued his day without pause.

  Chris relaxed and picked at the olives and cheese. Karin put together some sausage and crackers, and soon it was as if nothing odd had happened. The brother and sister entertained Karin telling stories of old family adventures; they all laughed together over the more embarrassing moments as the wine in the bottles disappeared and every anecdote seemed progressively funnier. Shared pieces of themselves, long tucked away into safely hidden memory, were drawn upon and therapeutically released.

  By mid-afternoon they began to reverse their liquid diet and sober up, traces of the wine negating any earlier uncertainties. Chris suggested a trip to the nearby city for dinner supplies. “My treat. You did promise Andy a steak dinner tomorrow night.”

  “Okay,” said Jenny. “Seeing as how you have a lot more money than I do, little brother.”

  “Money IS always good,” added Karin. She finished loading the picnic basket. “Chris, carry this for me, will you?”

  He loaded it one one arm, blankets under the other. When Karin saw that he was totally encumbered she scooped a big handful of snow and pounced, grinding it into his neck and collar. He bellowed, dropped the parcels, and declared war. He smeared her hair with snow and she nailed him again on the neck. They laughed and romped, faces and hands red with cold, Jenny shouting encouragement to Karin. He chased her twice around Jenny’s vehicle and finally caught her, holding her screaming and laughing as he held his frozen palms against her face.

  He found what he wanted at a local department store with a well-stocked electronics section. The girls had split from him and vanished in GROCERY. Paying the cashier, he headed out through the store to catch up. Walking past Women’s Lingerie, a sleek blue gown captured his imagination and he decided to do a little impulse buying. He rummaged through the section to find the right kind and size; a testy clerk looked at him sideways after he paid her and requested gift wrapping. He shot back such a piercing look that she rushed off and returned in record time with two lovely packages.

  Continuing through the store, he caught up with Jenny as she headed for a checkout land with a full cart. “I thought you said you wanted just a few things,” he teased.

  “You KNOW it’s a woman’s right to change her mind – besides, you are the one who said to stock up and also get stuff for dinner.” The boxes tucked under his arm caught her eye. “And just what are those?”

  “A little something I picked up.”

  Donnas color

  She steered the cart into the checkout lane; Karin came behind them and tossed a wrapper of fresh bread onto the top of the pile. The cashier whisked the groceries over the scanner. Jenny smiled at Chris as he pulled out his wallet. She clutched his arm. “Thanks – I love your wallet. I mean, I love you.”

  He smiled, shaking his head.

  They ferried the sacks to Jenny’s vehicle in a grocery cart squeaky with teeth-grinding annoyance. He loaded everything for them, but refused to allow either one of them to touch their gift boxes. “Not till we get home,” he said with his crooked little grin. He was amused by the way Karin pouted.

  He tormented them further by making them help unload and put away all of the groceries and the picnic items. Only when the chores were finished did he retrieve the presents. “You’re bad,” Karin teased. “So bad.” He grinned.

  how bad

  She cocked her head, grinning. “Seriously, though, I haven’t had a present in forever!” Her green eyes sparkled.

  “Neither have I,” added Jenny. “What did you do here?” She held the box and listened as the contents shifted.

  bad so bad Chris

  He closed his eyes for a moment and then looked at her. “It’s not much, just something I thought might make you happy – and to thank you both for a wonderful afternoon.”

  so bad

  Karin beamed at him, clutching the box. She skipped to the table and quickly tore the wrappings. She gasped as she withdrew a beautiful blue nightgown, its fabric soft and silky. “It’s gorgeous! I wanna go try it on!” She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. He patted her back as she hugged him.

  no Chris

  Jenny pulled the ribbons and wrapping from her box. She lifted the lid and gasped, “It’s gorgeous, Chris.” She held up
the silky blue robe and touched it to her face. “I love the color.”

  Donna’s color

  “Well, I know you have a yellow robe, but it never hurts to have more than one.”

  She smiled at him lovingly. “I’ll just go hang this up.” She rose and brushed his cheek with a kiss. “Thanks.” She looked at the kitchen clock. “Wonder if Andy’s up now.”

  “Why don’t you go over?”

  His sister smiled, a twinkle in her eye. “Might just have to see what comes up.” She walked back to her bedroom, opened and closed her closet door. She came out and paused at the kitchen door. “Later.”

  He waved her out the door. Pleased with himself, he gathered the boxes and wrappings and put them in the trash. As he unwrapped the surge strip he’d purchased, he walked back to his room. The computer was black and silent. He dismissed his recollection of any abnormality. Checking to see the power switch was OFF, he cast a glance at the power cord lying unplugged on the floor. He connected the plug to the protective device, and as he tried to push the new plug into the wall it resisted so stiffly he had to crouch beneath the desk to force it into the receptacle. The instant the plug made contact he heard the drive begin to hum. It’s not on. He rose and blinked in disbelief.

  pwrcon(waiting)

  The monitor admonished, stark white letters on a field of blue neon. He rubbed his eyelids with both hands as if it would clear the vision. He reached for the power switch on the front, and a tiny bolt of electricity reached out for him.

  It happened with amazing speed. His senses told him it had happened, reason told him it could not have happened, and he felt totally disoriented. What the fuck.

  He sat on the edge of the bed squinting at the computer. The screen was black, the machine silent, completely without life. His eyes widened in amazement as the screen slowly regained its electric blue glow.

  pwrcon(waiting)

  As his eyes glued themselves to the word, he felt an uncontrollable urge to touch the power switch and his arm slowly put forth his hand. He sat dazed as his fingers connected with the switch. The two became welded and he could not break the bond. Panic rose in him as foreign, tingly warmth flowed into his hand and up his arm. It was like slowly immersing himself in a tub of warm water. He strained to keep control over his bladder. His alarm grew as the monitor intensified in color and the words

  [adapt]searching

  gradually expanded until they filled half the screen. Alarm expanded into panic as he read

  [adapt]donna

  and at precisely that point his brain refused to register anything further. He passed out, falling backward onto the bed.

  The electric meter on the side of the house formed its digital readout at a brisk pace.

  The glass on the front of the wedding photo was frosted a faint shade of blue.

  Up in the loft, Karin swiftly undressed, reached for the beautiful gown, slipped her arms and shoulders into it and smoothed it down across her body. She stroked the soft fabric, parading in front of her dressing mirror, smiling at her reflection. The gown clung to her. She clutched the fullness of the material and swayed back and forth, happy and dreamlike. She finally closed her eyes and sighed; after a couple of moments she glanced about the loft and frowned at the mess she’d made in her haste. She picked up her clothes, tossed her boots into the closet, and winced as they landed with a loud thunk.

  The noise awakened Chris. He opened his eyes wide as he lay on the bed. He looked straight up at the ceiling and followed Karin’s footsteps.

  She was finishing making her bed as a movement caught the corner of her eye. Chris stood on the steps of the loft, and she jerked herself straight as he stared at her.

  Silky and clinging, the gown conformed to her figure and the luminous fabric shimmered over her. He tracked the length of her body with his eyes. He saw firm breasts and nipples, the curve of her waist; the roundness of her belly, ending with the soft shape between her legs; the languid slope of her thighs. Everything about her was all at once laid bare for his examination. His blood began to surge through his veins and his penis to swell. He closed his eyes to try to shut her out; instinct flashed neon through his head.

  He came toward her in slow motion, grappling for sanity. He felt fireworks popping in his head, tiny flashes of light littering his vision. He drew close to her, his brilliant blue eyes riveting her stare, magnetizing.

  Chris

  Don’t

  Teetering on the edge of control, he felt himself slip, consuming desire swallowing his failing conscience. Hearts pounding – hers from fear – they stood together. She tried to back away but he matched her steps. She tensed as her bare back met the unyielding closet door. Her eyes never left his stare.

  fuck me donna

  hurts

  He placed his hands on her shoulders, his palms warm with sweat. His scalp began to crawl and beads of moisture bloomed on his temples.

  Chris no

  please no

  Her chest heaved with rapid breaths; his jeans strained against his erection. Slowly he pushed the straps of her gown from her shoulders. He pressed closer, fingertips exploring.

  don’t scream

  no chris please

  baby so good

  no please

  fuck me baby

  hurting me ropebleeding

  Something in his gaze captured her completely and she remained unable to tear away from his grasp as the gown slithered to the floor. He touched, explored, violated her. Her heat inflamed his fireworks.

  don’t use that

  baby so good

  no please chris

  wont hurt

  salty

  yes

  She moaned as he probed.

  not right

  loveyou

  A frantic, final attempt at defense connected with his subconscious and with enormous effort he closed his eyes and broke their contact. She slumped to the floor at his feet, and his legs buckled beneath him as well. He dropped to the floor by her side. Slowly he turned his burning eyes to look at her. Hers were closed as if sleeping, the weight of her breasts pressed against the floor.

  With effort he got up on his knees, scooped her into his arms, and carried her to the bed where he laid her down, covering her with a quilt. He went to the stairs and sat at the top, head in his hands.

  i love you baby

  no

  give me baby

  stop please

  give me

  give me

  He went down the rest of the stairs and walked through the great room, out the back door to the deck.

  Surfacing in the twilight of the guest room, the screen shone blue. Fine rays of light spewed from the tiny gaps of the keyboard. The meter slowed its rapid pace.

  [ADAPT]chris

  appeared with authority. A hairline crack developed on the blue glass in the silver frame.

  Alone outside, he stared blankly through the twilight. From time to time his gaze rested on the shadows that moved behind the blinds next door.

  Chapter Three

  Andy ended his shift around five the next morning, bone weary, the color of the shadows beneath his eyes soft charcoal. The only restaurant open for miles around was the River Village in Toutle Lake, the tiny logging town nearest to Silver Lake itself. Sally usually opened the place at 4:30 AM. She and Andy had seen a lot of each other in the last couple of years. Many mornings he was her first customer, quickly followed by local truckers and loggers. The establishment coffee was eye-opening.

  Sally began each day at the Village preparing homemade biscuits and sausage gravy. That day she was dressed in her usual uniform of Harley tee shirt, tight jeans, and spotless white cook’s apron. Attractive but a little past her prime, she was a kind soul, always optimistic and cheerful and a bright spot in many peoples’ days. Andy sat on a stool by the counter as she greeted him with her warm smile. “Hi, Andy. What’s goin’ on?”