“No.” Lily responded, “I gave you instructions and you didn’t do anything. You put everyone at risk.”
“Who do you think you are?” Matthew said. “I was voted to lead the group with Howard and Eric, you weren’t. You don’t give me orders.”
“Yeah and you did a fantastic job didn’t you.” Lily said with a sneer, “How many died because the three of you couldn’t or wouldn’t do what you had to.”
She was gesturing wildly as she shouted and I could see Matthews face turning a deeper shade of crimson. He appeared to be very aware of the people around him and didn’t appreciate the way she was speaking to him. He stepped forward and stared down at her his right hand curling into a fist.
My knife was out and against his throat before he had even finished raising his fist and I simply said, “Back away.”
Silence fell around us and I was very aware of how much I wanted to cut into his flesh, my arm trembled as I fought back the urge.
“Ryan, it’s ok.” Lily said as she laid a hand gently against my arm and I glanced at her, the merest flick of my eyes to her and then back to Matthew.
“It’s not ok.” Pat growled behind me, “That bastard was about to hit you. We all saw it.”
Murmurs of agreement rose from the crowd and Lily shook her head as she gently pulled against my arm.
“It was an argument. Its fine, we all need to cool down.” She said.
I slowly allowed her to pull my arm away and lowered my knife though I didn’t sheath it. Matthew touched his neck and looked down at his fingers, surprised that he didn’t have blood on them.
“What kind of psycho are you?” He asked.
“Ok everyone. It’s time to get some work done before we settle in for the night.” Lily said as she ignored Matthew. “We have a car full of food that needs bringing inside.”
“You aren’t in charge here.” Matthew said with a wary look at me.
“Yeah well you aren’t either mate.” Gregg said. “Let’s all decide now. Show of hands, who wants Lily in charge," he asked with a glance at the people gathered around us.
A large number of people raised their hands or muttered assent, an easy majority that brought a scowl to Matthews face.
“Anyone for Matthew?” Gregg added and only a few hands were raised. I noticed that Rachel and Candice had voted against Lily. “Right then. Looks like Lily is in charge. Anyone who doesn’t like it can bugger off on their own.”
“Thank you.” Lily murmured to Gregg then louder to the crowd, “Let’s get the car unpacked.”
“I’ll get started on it.” Pat said and headed back to the building with a small group of people following.
“Everyone else get some food and then some rest. We’ve a lot of work to do tomorrow.” Lily said, heads nodded and people gave their agreement before moving away from the shore and back to the building.
Matthew left with a scowl on his face and Rachel and Candice followed. I watched them leave and decided that I would need to deal with all three of them before too long. The little surge of excitement that came when I thought about killing them was a welcome change from the general irritation I had been feeling for the past few days.
“Thank you for that,” Lily said and I looked at her in confusion.
“For what?”
“For being protective.”
“Oh right.” I said.
“You have to be careful though. If you had hurt him, it wouldn’t have been something people here would forgive or forget.”
“I know.” I said with a shrug.
“What was everyone doing here anyway?” She asked after a moment’s quiet contemplation of me and Gregg quickly filled her in on the noises they had heard from across the Lake in Windermere.
“So that’s it.” Gregg said, “The shooting went on for a long time. It must have been a hell of a lot of zombies.”
“Maybe we should go over and check on them.” Lily said thoughtfully.
“What help could we offer?” I countered, “They have weapons and supplies that we don’t.”
“We should find out what’s happened though.” Lily insisted. “If the soldiers failed and were overrun by the zombies then there could still be people alive and hiding unable to get away.”
“Maybe.” I said, “But even if that was the case, we couldn’t offer them any help or even fight our way through to them to save anyone.”
“Think of it another way then,” she said. “They have supplies that we could use and if they have been overrun we could perhaps find those supplies.”
“That makes sense.” I agreed, “We’ll have to wait till morning though.”
“I know.” She said miserably,” I’m going to have to stay here for a few days anyway to get everything under control. So tomorrow we’ll have two groups. One to go and finish clearing out the houses we found and the other to check on the people over in Windermere.”
“I’ll go to Windermere.” I said quickly and Lily looked across at me in surprise.
“Why?”
“More chance of zombies to kill.” I said with a smile as I thought about the potential carnage we could find over there. “The houses are probably going to be empty and boring.”
“Fine, get some food and we’ll figure things out.” She said with a laugh.
Lily left with Gregg to go towards the front of the building and help with getting the supplies organised and stowed away.
With little else to do while I waited for the food to be ready and the crowd to thin enough that I wouldn’t need to fight my way through to it, I stayed at the lake shore and stared across the dark waters towards the town on the opposite bank.
My eyesight was in fine condition and I had never required glasses but that was no help when trying to see across such a distance. I added binoculars to my ever growing mental list of desired items.
The killing of the zombies back at the houses had momentarily lifted my mood but the dark cloud hovered, ready and waiting to close back in on my mind and sour my thoughts. It was becoming ever more imperative that I find some time alone to perform a true kill.
My hunger was forgotten as I stood by the lakeside and considered my options. The group leaving for the houses we had found would be two people at most as they would need the space in the car and it would be incredibly easy to kill whoever went along with me. The downside of course being that no matter what excuse I gave for their death, Lily would suspect the real cause.
No, Windermere was the best option. I could perhaps find some time alone with one of the more unfamiliar members of our group, perhaps one of the people I would consider a liability. Alternatively I could find a survivor or two in the town itself and make some excuse to find some time alone to finish them off.
It was an exciting thought and I could feel my heart beating faster as I contemplated just how I would perform my next kill. I knew that I would have a restless night as I awaited the coming dawn and the trip across the lake.
My hand touched the hilt of my sheathed knife as I made a silent promise to use it to good effect on a living person as soon as possible.
Chapter 11
I scowled in the early morning half light as Lily left the apartment. She was trying to be quiet and not wake me, but a restless night meant I was groggy and ill-tempered and already awake. Her attempts to be quiet did nothing more than irritate me.
The couch was a great deal less comfortable than any of the others I had previously slept on and I was regretting missing the previous evening’s meal.
As a group we were not receiving anything remotely resembling a balanced and healthy diet. We were barely above starvation level rations as it were and with a long winter ahead of us, it would only be getting worse.
I pulled the quilt tighter around me and watched my breath mist as I exhaled. The tip of my nose was feeling slightly numb and I really didn’t want to get out from under the covers and face the cold morning. Though the s
trained feeling of my bladder was a good indication that I would need to move whether I wanted to or not.
With a muttered curse I threw back the covers and stood, feeling the cold air hit despite the clothes I was still wearing. A quick trip to the bathroom to relieve myself and wash with water that managed to feel colder than the apartment and I was starting to feel a little more awake.
A rough knock on the door was all the warning I had before it opened and Gregg sauntered in, his usual smile fixed firmly in place. As one of the people in the group I considered a useful member, I would normally have found his company at least bearable.
“What do you want?” I asked somewhat sourly.
“Good morning to you too mate.” He said, seemingly unfazed by my mood.
“Well?”
“Lily asked me to pass along a message.” He said with a slight shake of the head. “The gunfire has been going on all morning so the trip to Windermere is off for now.”
“That is... a shame.” I said.
“I don’t see why. It would have been cold and wet out on the lake today.”
“More than likely.” I agreed, “So what now?”
“Well two groups have set off. One to some houses she said you found and another couple of our people have gone north to see if they can find a van or something.”
“So what am I supposed to be doing?” I demanded harshly.
“Whatever you want mate.” Gregg said cheerfully, “Me and the big lad are off to find some firewood and a few of the others are off doing inventory of all the apartments or guard duty out on the road.”
“Really... that’s it?”
“Well you could help Claire cook or look after the kids.” He answered with a laugh that was beginning to grate. “If you want to come and look for fallen branches with us, be downstairs in five minutes.”
“Maybe.” I said with no real intention of doing so.
“Ok see you in a few.” He said with a wave as he left the apartment.
I turned away from the door and stared out of the window that overlooked the lake. My sour mood was certainly plummeting and I had no intention of mixing with people. With my current state of mind it would be easy to lose my temper and throw away the acceptance of the group.
It had been a great deal easier before the apocalypse when I had not been required to spend so much time around other people. My strangeness had been easier to keep hidden and I could admit, if only to myself, that the pressure to behave like a normal person was becoming burdensome.
I was pulled from my brooding by something that had caught the attention of my subconscious. It took me several minutes of staring out of the window to realise what it was.
From the window of the apartment I had been living in, I could look out over the lake and see the town of Windermere in the far distance and a good deal closer, the southernmost tip of the large island that sat in the centre of the lake.
The island had a thick screen of trees surrounding it and I could just make out the rounded top of a building amongst them. It was on the top of the building that I kept seeing a flash of light as the sunlight hit something and reflected back.
It took several more minutes before I realised it was someone with binoculars on top of the building who seemed to be watching us.
From what the soldier at the Marina had said, the island was made up entirely of deserters from their group and a dangerous group of people at that. While they may be keeping an eye on us to ensure we were no threat to them, they could also be intending us harm.
I debated telling Lily and the others about what I had seen. On the one hand it would be interesting to see what happened if the people here were unaware of their potential threat and on the other hand, if I could convince Lily they were a threat then I would have the excuse to go and deal with them.
After an hour of watching the light reflecting from the person on the rooftop and considering all options, I decided to not mention it for the moment.
Even if I could convince the others that they were a threat, I doubted I would be allowed the freedom to deal with them in my own way and to be honest, the fact that I felt that I needed permission rankled more than a little.
If no one knew that the people on the island cared about us, then no one would notice if I took it upon myself to kill them in my own way and in my own time. It wouldn’t be too difficult to slip away from the group and as long as none of our members were killed, Lily would have no reason to suspect I was killing anyone.
A group of army deserters who had taken an interest in my group could be easily classed as a threat and as such, killing them would not break the promise I had made.
Happy to have reached a decision that made sense to me, I leant against the window frame and continued to watch the island. With possible prey to stalk I could feel the slight lifting of my mood. It was a start and I was on the right track to fulfilling that desire that had been growing so insistent of late.
I watched the island intently. Patient and careful not to stand where I could be seen by the watcher on the island and barely noticed the passing of time until it began to grow dark as the day moved into evening.
Chapter 12
The apartment door opened and in walked Lily, each hand held a bowl of something that steamed faintly in the dim light in the apartment.
“I thought you might be hungry since you’ve been sulking up here all day.” She said as she set the bowls on the table and pulled a fat candle from her pocket.
“Sulking?”
“Yes, sulking.” She said as she lit the candle and placed it on the table where it balanced easily on its wide base.
“Why would I be sulking?”
“Because you couldn’t leave camp and kill anything.” She said as she gestured for me to join her at the table. “Come and sit down. It’s beans with what are supposed to be pork sausages but I have my doubts.”
“Well when you make it sound so appealing...” I replied as I crossed the room to join her at the table.
“It’s food and you need to eat.”
“I guess so.” I agreed as she passed a spoon across to me. My stomach gave a noticeable rumble as I breathed in the odour of the hot food.
“What have you been doing up here all day?”
“Just thinking.” I said after a slight pause that I hoped she didn’t notice.
“Thinking... about what?”
“About what needs doing.” I said.
“Now or in the future?”
“Now.”
“You don’t really mention any future plans do you?” She asked around a mouthful of beans.
“I tend to live in the moment.” I agreed.
“What about the past? You never say much about that either.”
“What is there to say? It happened and is now over.”
“You know, I really don’t know much about you at all.” Lily said thoughtfully. “I know how you spent your free time before this began, but I don’t really know how you got started in that.”
“It isn’t something I have ever shared with anyone before.”
“Well that’s probably because no one knew about your free time pursuits.” She said, “I do know about them and I’m curious.”
“Really?” I asked, “I’m sure it isn’t very interesting and would likely be unpleasant in parts.”
“I’m sure. Tell me about why you became a serial killer.” She said the last in a low voice as though wary of being overheard.
“It would be hard to pin point why.” I said, “I can try though I suppose.”
“Please do. I’m curious.”
“Very well.” The idea of sharing something so intimate was strangely appealing as it was something I had never before done. “Where should I start?”
“At the beginning of course.” she said with a pretty smile. “When did you first know you wanted to kill someone?”
“Again, that’s hard to say. I’ve n
ever really cared about death the same way other people have and it never even occurred to me that I was different for quite a while.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when I was quite young my grandfather died.” I began, “I can remember quite distinctly how my siblings cried and even my parents and various other relatives wept and wailed. I couldn’t understand why they would do so.”
“Weren’t you close with your grandfather?”
“As close as any child could be I suppose, I was aware that he had died and that it meant that he would no longer be available to play or tell stories but it didn’t seem like a cause for upset. I asked my mother why people were crying and she told me that it was because that was just what you did when a loved one died.”
“I accepted that and a year or so later when some obscure great uncle passed away, I curled up on my bed and cried. It was funny because no one else in my immediate family were overly concerned at his passing and when they asked why I was crying, I tried to explain that I thought that was what you were supposed to do. They just told each other that I must be too young to understand and dismissed it.”
“That is the moment I realised that I was different from the others.”
“Because you didn’t get upset?” Lily asked, her eyes were studying my face as I spoke and it was more than a little distracting.
“Yes, because I didn’t really care that they had died and other people seemed to. They all seemed to have a natural understanding of what to do in those situations that I lacked. Which death you cried over and which you didn’t.”
“As I grew older I noticed other differences that marked me out as abnormal.”
“Such as?”
“I had no interest in the games the other children played. I would prefer to spend my time alone and imagine myself as a great warrior slaying my enemies.” I said and she smiled. “I soon realised that all of my games involved death in some manner or other. I think my parents passed it off as a young boy interested in playing soldier, but in truth I was interested in killing.”
“Did you ever... you know?” Lily said.
Killing the Dead (Books 4-6) Page 7
